New Rules! 11.23.2012 – CM Punk, Shaemus, NXT & Alberto Del Rio

Columns, Top Story

Welcome to “New Rules”.

 

New Rule #1: NXT must be re-vamped…

… into a show where you vote for the guy most likely to lose their mind and get caught masturbating in the park.

 

New Rule #2: If you’re standing next to an old fat guy who’s never wrestled in his life and it looks like HE could kick your ass…

… you’re in trouble.

 

New Rule #3: WWE wrestlers like The Miz and David Otunga need to stop claiming that they’re “movie stars” because they were in a movie for WWE Studios. It’s not a movie. It’s a shit pie.

And while we’re at it, someone needs to remind any fans under the mistaken impression that a wrestler being chosen for a WWE movie means anything AT ALL for that wrestler’s career…

 

New Rule #4: Someone needs to explain to me the difference between watching TNA…

… and watching surveillance footage of a gay bar.

(Yes, all those images are screencaps from a SINGLE episode of Impact.)

 

New Rule #5: And finally… WWE needs to at LEAST keep their racism…

… confined to actual races.

A couple weeks ago, WWE called Shaemus William Regal’s “fellow UK-er”. Which would have been fine, except that Shaemus is Irish.

British gentleperson James Alsop said about this:

“I know that WWE have only a loose grasp of geography and politics, but that particular mistake really, really won’t go down well in the Republic of Ireland.”

In my opinion, Ireland will love it and the UK will hate it. Because really, what country wants to take credit for Shaemus?

 

That’s it for this week. As usual, any and all comments and thoughts are always appreciated, or you can feel free to e-mail me at bdouglas@4sternstaging.com. If you have any questions you’d like me to answer, ask away and I’ll throw it into an “Interinactivity”. And feel free to follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas if you’re into such things.

This has been “New Rules”. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

I’ll be in my trailer.

BD writes about professional wrestling on Inside Pulse until he has to stop because he's about to have a stroke. Any “errors” that are made on his part are, of course, intentional and represent an artistic choice. He acts as a kind of fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.