The Stomping Ground: Writer’s Block + Boring Storylines = Random Musings

Columns, Top Story

Sooooo….. (rapping fingers on desk in thought)

This sucks, doesn’t it? I mean, I went through the Rolodex in my mind, looking for something interesting to write about this week, and realized by 9 PM EST the night before my deadline that I had absolutely NOTHING to talk about at length. Yeah, the business is in a bit of a lull….so here are some epic thoughts! Feel free to comment on ’em at your leisure and throw in your own for the hell of it.

1. After witnessing Big E Langston repeatedly destroy Kofi Kingston, and with AJ Lee in line for a title shot against Kaitlyn, how awesome would it be for Dolph Ziggler and his compatriots to hold three titles at the same time?

2. I’m not sure if Zack Ryder is trying to shed his image/gimmick or what. Initially I thought it was a heel turn, but it’s just seems like all that’s changed is his hairdo.

3. I never understood why the WWE caters to a city by trotting out their hometown heroes, only to job them out in front of friends and family. Why is this a tradition?

4. Anyone who hated on the “Make A Wish” segment is a heartless bastard. Those kids deserved their moment in the spotlight and it was in no way meant to give Cena a cheap pop.

5. I don’t normally wish bad tidings upon a wrestler, but is it wrong of me to wish that John Cena was so badly injured that he just could not wrestle for a few months, forcing the company to scramble to find a replacement face? I think that’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than any storyline we’ve got currently.

6. If it weren’t for the fact that The Shield are poised to dominate the tag team scene, I think I’d like to see Big Show and Randy Orton become a heel tag team. I’m not really sure why that intrigues me.

7. With the Bellas repeatedly caught cheating and paying for it one way or another, how long before the WWE mentions Brie’s new tits to differentiate between the two?

8. Looking at Great Khali, Natalya, and Hornswoggle standing in the ring reminds me of those Russian stacking dolls. Hell, that would be a brilliant marketing idea! I’m a genius!

9. Missing In Action: Ezekiel Jackson, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Bo Dallas, Evan Bourne, Christian, Ted DiBiase, Hunico, Camacho. Should any of these guys even bother coming back from injury/NXT, or would they just be wasting everyone’s time?

10. Should I switch to DISH network so I can record 6 shows at once via the Hopper? Let’s ask resident robot/corporate shill TomasHunter!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Since February of 2011, "The Master of Smarkasm" Mike Gojira has tickled the funny bones of Inside Pulse readers with his insightful comedy, timely wit, and irreverent musings on the world of professional wrestling. Catch his insanely popular column, The Stomping Ground, whenever he feels like posting a new edition (hey, I've earned the right). He is also totally modest and doesn't know the meaning of hyperbole.