Salutations, my erstwhile companions! As promised last week, here’s part two of my inquisition into a series of “What If?” scenarios posited to the readership. For those who did not read last week’s Stomping Ground, I threw out a series of questions and put the power in your hands, in order to get an idea of what you folks would do under the circumstances presented. Following each guest’s piece will be my thoughts in italics. Let’s get to it!
Scenario 1:
For a period of one month, John Cena, Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan, and CM Punk are all out of action for various unrelated reasons. You have four weeks of TV and a PPV to prepare for. You can use ANY contracted talent besides the aforementioned four and your goal is to put on the best show possible while also giving other talent a chance to shine. What do you do?
Responses
1. Steven Gepp:
Week 1: Best of John Cena, Week 2: Best of Randy Orton, Week 3: Best of Daniel Bryan, Week 4: Best of CM Punk. All clip shows, all the time!
Sounds like the WWE on cruise control after SummerSlam. I wonder, though: what would your PPV consist of? Clips of the Undertaker? I know how much you love the Deadman.
2. Cynical Bastard:
Given those four being out for 30+ days and the current title holders, I’d go old school and declare the WWE title vacant due to Cena being unable to defend it within a 30 day period. The major focus of the 4 week build would be determining which two get to compete for the vacant belt at the PPV. I’d use a single elimination bracket of 16 to get there, with 2 matches each on Raw and SD the first three weeks, followed by a single match per show the following week for the semifinals. That way you can do the mandatory contract signing/brawl on SD that night, ’cause those always blow.
-Week 1- Axel def. Ryder, Sheamus def. Fandango, Cesaro def. Gabriel, RVD def. Swagger.
-Week 2- Ambrose def. Miz, Kofi def. Barrett, Big E def. Christian, Ziggler def. Wyatt.
-Week 3- Sheamus def. Axel, Cesaro def. RVD, Ambrose def. Kofi, Ziggler def. Big E.
-Week 4- Cesaro def. Sheamus, Ziggler def. Ambrose.
-PPV- Cesaro vs. Ziggler, the audience wins.
To round out the card, I’d throw in Kane vs Wyatt, Axel vs Sheamus for the IC belt (Axel retains due to Heyman), Kofi beats Ambrose for the US title, Shield retains tag titles vs Mysterio/Sin Cara, Del Rio vs RVD for the WHC (could go either way, depending on RVD’s contract status), and Ryback vs Lesnar. Have Lesnar win, since Ryback hasn’t won anything of consequence on PPV, and Lesnar could use some untraded wins to seem more like the monster they portray him to be.
I approve of this. It’s not even outside the realm of possibility, and I can most certainly see this happen….maybe in a couple of years.
3. FDSwayze:
Most of the fans would get that those four guys aren’t there and would be a little lenient. Do an Elimination Chamber thing and throw Brock, Ziggler, Del Rio, RVD, Big E Langston, and Christian in there. Or do Christian vs. Del Rio ladder rematch, Brock vs. RVD, Ziggler vs. Langston, Cody vs. Axel, Shield vs. Miz, Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel, Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Henry vs. Khali, and Swagger & Cesaro vs. Albert & the Dinosaur guy. That was easy.
You’ve thrown together an interesting mix of matches here. I’d love to see a Brock vs RVD rematch; they haven’t battled one another since Brock’s first run with the company and the additional element of Heyman would add some intrigue.
4. The Tuckster:
Well, let’s say the PPV is Over the Limit. Night of Champions has just been. Orton is now champ, having cashed in on Bryan, who retained against Cena at NoC after beating him at Summerslam. Orton turned heel in the process. Punk hasn’t been seen since Brock beat him mercilessly at SS. All the other belts are the same.
My story lines would be: Cody/Sandow continue their feud. Natalya is in a feud with AJ Lee. RVD and Curtis Axel are in a rivalry over the IC title, after RVD sided with Punk against Heyman. Big Show is back on Heyman’s side, and is feuding with Henry who he blames for them losing to the Shield at Summerslam. Mysterio is back and has once again teamed with Sin Cara. They’re feuding w/ Colter’s Militia. Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose are feuding for the US title. Ziggler is back in the WHC hunt, with Big E muddying the waters there too. Reigns/Rollins are feuding with a Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd tag team. You can imagine the four weeks of TV. It’ll take for-fucking-ever to type that shit out and I’m at work. But my PPV would be:
1. Reigns/Rollins (C) vs Gabriel/Kidd in tornado tag match for the belts. Gabriel/Kidd win. Dissension begins between Reigns/Rollins.
2. Axel (C) vs RVD for IC Title. Axel retains after Heyman’s interference with the Perfectplex (he actually wins with it!).
3. Henry vs Big Show. No DQ match. Dull slug fest. What did you expect? Henry takes out Heyman, wins with WSS.
4. Cody Rhodes vs Sandow in a ladder match for the MiTB briefcase. Sandow retains.
5. Natalya vs AJ (C). I Quit match. Natalya wins.
6. Bray Wyatt w/ family vs Dean Ambrose (C) w/ Shield for US title. An argument on the outside between Rollins/Reigns distracts Ambrose and allows Wyatt to pick up the win. Tease massive Shield fight. They seemingly make up (leading to a Survivor Series combustion later, when their team loses).
7. Mysterio/Sin Cara/Christian vs Swagger/Cesaro/Barrett. Cesaro pins Sin Cara.
8. Del Rio (C) vs Ziggler vs Big E. WHC Triple Threat match. Ziggler wins, after pinning Big E.
P.S. I don’t care about Ryback or Miz. They were on the pre-show.
P.P.S. Heyman’s stable now includes Show, Axel, Lesnar. Could easily add someone else (a heel Miz? He was a Heyman Guy) to it. This leads to a Survivor Series match between Punk, RVD, Kofi and Mark Henry. They should have a big guy really. Hmm. Fuck it. They lose to the Heyman Guys.
I appreciate the time and energy you put into this, Tuckster. I especially like how you’re thinking a few steps ahead, especially as far as the Shield break-up is concerned.
Scenario 2:
Triple H tells you that Money in the Bank will take place at Wrestlemania next year instead of at its own PPV and there will only be one ladder match, with the winner getting a shot at whichever title he chooses. Pick six WWE Superstars you feel are most deserving of the opportunity and explain why. Also, pick a winner.
Responses
1. Steven Gepp:
Money in the Bank is different – it’s for a WWE contract. So we go to FCW, their new training school, whatever, and pick the best 6, the 6 most ready for the next step, get them to rehearse the hell out of the match under the eye of Edge and Jericho. Have scenarios rehearsed where they each win it. Have the referee call an audible as to the winner, depending on how they’re going in the match. Then, of course, have one win it, but it will also give them a chance to see how the others perform in the big time.
I always enjoy hearing things from the perspective of someone in the business such as yourself. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for this scenario.
2. Cynical Bastard:
I personally preferred MITB as the Wrestlemania opener, not only because it warms up the crowd, but because it’s a way to get mid carders on the show and give them a chance to shine. I’d only want to include wrestlers who have never held either the WWE or WHC. Pick 6? Cesaro, Rhodes, Fandango, Kofi, Ryback, Barrett. I’d have either Cesaro or Kofi win.
I see nothing wrong with this; it is, however, interesting to see how your six consists mostly of heels. Was that your intention, given that they ARE guys who never won the big one, or did you not notice?
3. FDSwayze:
The ladder match thing at Mania is fine with me. I’d try to pick six guys that are going to do crazy stunts, and not necessarily big names because the draw of the match would be all the stunts. RVD, Cody, Christian, Ambrose, Sheamus, and Kane. Cody, Christian, RVD, or Ambrose would all be good choices for a winner, so there is probably a nice element of surprise too.
It’s true that the MitB ladder match has been reduced to a spot-fest, so it stands to reason that the names you dropped would fit right in. I’m curious, though; are you picking Kane for his experience in these types of matches or to play the role of big man (shared, apparently, with Sheamus)?
4. SimonRB:
I pick Wade Barrett, Sheamus, the Miz, Khali, Sin Cara and Cody Rhodes for the MITB match. Then I take a page from the horrible nineties’ playbook and make it a shoot fight. And as an even more special stipulation, the five losers (well, non-winners, to be more specific) will be future endeavored. Also, I move it to the YouTube pre-show to make certain the divas have ample time to not take their clothes off on the main show.
My snarky meter just went through the roof!
Scenario 3:
Who would be the participants in the ultimate Royal Rumble? You can use 30 wrestlers of the past and present, but they MUST have worked for the WWE at some point.
Responses
1. Steven Gepp:
Tough cutting it down to just 30! In alphabetical order: Andre The Giant, Kurt Angle, Animal, Steve Austin, Batista, Shelton Benjamin, Daniel Bryan, Dynamite Kid, Ric Flair, Mick Foley, Scott Hall, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Hawk, Curt Hennig, Chris Jericho, Brock Lesnar, Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio Jr, Kevin Nash, Jim Neidhart, Diamond Dallas Page, CM Punk, Jake Roberts, Randy Savage (winner), Bruno Sammartino, Davey Boy Smith, Scott Steiner, Ultimate Warrior, and Kerry Von Erich. Just my favourites all in one match. And I would pick them at certain points in their career, so Kerry Von Erich wouldn’t be the KVE in WWF, but the KVE in WCCW, Scott Steiner would be NWA Scott Steiner, Hawk and Animal would be WCW versions, likewise DDP. You get the drift.
What, no Undertaker?! ;)
2. FDSwayze:
I did one of these Royal Rumble things before. Maybe CB (Not Cynical Bastard…the other CB) can dig out a link for you. It was awesome though. Truckasaurus and Dracula were in it I think.
CB: Ask and you shall receive.
Ah, yes. That was quite funny. You should do one every year.
3. Finn McInnes:
Fun question. Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Andre The Giant, Big Show, Stone Cold, Bret Hart, Yokozuna, Ric Flair,
Goldberg, Cena, Randy Orton, Roddy Piper, Triple H, CM Punk, The Rock, Cactus Jack, Don Muraco, Kurt Angle, Dusty Rhodes, Chris Jericho, Eddy Guerrero, DDP, Jake Roberts, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Paul Orndorff, Stan Hansen, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker.
This is a pretty nice line-up. I’m assuming the Undertaker wins, to the delight of Steven Gepps everywhere.
Scenario 4:
How would you fix the Tag Team Division? You can utilize wrestlers from ROH, TNA, or other companies for this one.
Responses
1. Steven Gepp:
I’d actually have tag teams, not thrown together teams. The Usos are a good step, and the Shield, but I’d grab Daniels and Kazarian, Magnus and Samoa Joe, Robert Roode and James Storm (yes, put them back together), Motor City Machine Guns from TNA. I’d grab the Armstrong brothers and Basso brothers from Australia (you need some young, rookie teams to make people think you’re serious about the future), and then I’d probably put Haas and Benjamin back together. NEXT, I’d keep the teams together for a few years, and tell them that. I’d have a tag team based PPV (a world championship match or 2 as well to break it up) to really hammer home that tag teams are serious.
This is really ambitious, but I don’t know if keeping teams together for YEARS in this day and age of the product would work. Fans tend to get impatient pretty quickly these days. I mean, I understand the intent is to build camaraderie between the teammates…but maybe it’s just me being cynical.
2. Cynical Bastard:
That’s easy, make a few credible tag teams that aren’t random singles guys with nothing better to do, and make a few lesser teams that job to that upper tier, and have all of them pretend like they care about the tag belts. Then book at least 30 min on Raw and 20 min on SD to be matches related to the pursuit of the tag titles and/or tag title shots. Maybe even have a title match main event a show once in awhile. Problem solved. Incidentally, this is the same way you make people care about the IC/US titles, except for those you don’t even have to make teams, and you can even use random singles guys with nothing better to do!
This reeks of the WWE’s booking when Team Hell No was put together. Unfortunately, I was right in that the angle was only focusing on Bryan and Kane and the other teams were just props and background noise. Hopefully, if the company were to try it again, there’d be more of a focused goal on the division as a whole rather than one team.
3. FDSwayze:
WWE doesn’t need to go outside of the pack to do tag teams. Fans already want to see them. I think the trick is to look at how WWE booked tag teams in 2000, and follow that blueprint. Pick three teams as your ‘main’ teams, and then have a few others around to job to your main teams. In 2000, you had The Dudleys, The Hardys, and Edge & Christian. But you also had APA, RTC, Kaientai, and other random teams to fill out cards.
If I did have to get any one team, I’d go with getting the Motor City Machine Guns back together. If not them, I think the team of Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel have similar potential. Any combination of the Shield guys are awesome. Then you just need a third team that have no problem taking on either of those teams because they are heels or faces or whatever. Maybe these new guys that hang around the Bray Wyatt guy. Then you have a few teams like Prime Time Players and whatever The Dinosaur Guy and Albert are doing to job here and there. WWE have a lot of people now so it would make a lot of sense to start doing more tags.
I often wonder why the trigger was never pulled on Gabriel and Kidd. Is it because of their mic skills?
4. Finn McInnes:
Bring in the Briscoes (given their personal beliefs and hillbilly demeanor I think paring them as part of Zeb Coulter’s group would be
great), bring in an established team from Japan – I’m not up on puroresu so I don’t know who as such, grab a face and a heel team from NXT, put a few teams together from mid-carders not doing anything else right now (I liked the dynamic of Awesome Truth myself – despite finding R Truth really annoying and HATING the Miz) to fill out the teams currently on the main roster. Hell, have one of them become Heyman’s Guys. Now probably more importantly – feature the damned tag teams on TV and make them and their storylines seem important. Worked that way during the Rock-n-Wrestling and Attitude eras. Hell, Midnite Express/Rock-n-Roll Express was the hottest
feud in the Jim Crockett promotion and in many ways the Freebirds/Von Erichs was the best feud of all time.
I think a combination of these four ideas would work well. But then again, I’m not the WWE.
Scenario 5:
How would you improve TNA’s financial situation? You can hire/fire wrestlers and also think about marketing concerns.
Responses
1. Steven Gepp:
I’d get rid of: Abyss / Joseph Park, Eric Young, Garett Bischoff, Gunner, Jay Bradley, Jessie Godderz, King Mo, Knux, Mr Anderson, Rampage Jackson, Robbie E, Rockstar Spud, Sam Shaw, Wes Brisco, Zema Ion, Velvet Sky.
I’d keep: AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Bully Ray, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Sabin, Christopher Daniels, Devon, Hernandez, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Kazarian, Kenny King, Kurt Angle, Magnus, Manik, Rob Terry, Samoa Joe, Sting, Gail Kim, Mickie James, Miss Tessmacher, ODB, Taryn Terrell.
Next I’d merge with ROH/take them over. This gives the benefit of putting some good people on their roster with experience. It gives ROH the advantage of national TV exposure and real PPVs. Then I’d raid Shimmer to see what females I could get to bolster up what is potentially a strong roster. To start with, the ROH vs TNA war could be a fantastic interpromotional opportunity, while the women could be TNA v Shimmer. Money doesn’t seem to be an issue. Oh, and I’d hire Jed Schaeffer as the chief writer, put someone else (no idea who) in complete control so Dixie is just the money, and then tour the hell out of the promotion across the USA and Canada.
A merger between the two companies could work; it would certainly bring some much-needed buzz to both of them. I wonder how the merger would affect roster hierarchy.
2. Zork:
I would buy TNA from Dixie Carter and Panda Energy, fire just about everyone in management and administration and rebuild from scratch to relaunch the product. Also, get good marketing people. The roster is actually one of the best out there but it sucks because it belongs to TNA. Ok…I’d fire Ken Anderson cause he sucks.
From the other end of the spectrum, perhaps an administrative enema could also help things in the long run.
3. Finn McInnes:
Ask my rich daddy to write me a bigger check at the beginning of each month? I don’t know that TNA is “fixable” given its current
circumstance (Dixie in charge, paying millions in wasted money to non-performing talent, losing money on every TV taping, non-existent PPV buyrates, the list goes on). I’m not saying that it is going to go out of business anytime soon or anything, as long as Spike likes the ratings and content and Big Daddy is willing to indulge little Dixie’s project.
Well at least you’re not being completely pessimistic about it.
4. Steven Gepp:
Burn it down and collect the insurance money.
And then there’s always the nihilistic approach, I suppose.
Thanks to everyone who collaborated with me on this, as it made my life a hell of a lot easier for the past two weeks. I guess I have to go back to doing some actual work on this site next week, eh?
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
