I have to admit, I have much higher hopes for this year’s Summer Slam than I did last year’s. In 2012, we had high expectations with Punk as a tweener as far as heel/face status and how he would handle the triple threat match against Cena and Big Show. We had high expectations for Brock and HHH’s first match against each other, especially on the heels of Brock’s match against Cena at Extreme Rules. In the end, the WWE championship match was okay but we saw the start of Punk’s flight mentality as a heel, we got an abomination of a concert with Kevin Rudolf and HHH vs Brock was an overblown slow, repetitive and boring match that left a sour taste in our mouths. This year, I have high hopes once again for Summer Slam (and yes, I purposely write it as two separate words) and WWE and myself have a weird track record of certain pay per views not even coming close to my level of hope. As I typed that last sentence, I realized how much that statement probably applies to every single one of us wrestling fans. Oh well, let’s get elbow-deep in this…
Kick-Off US Championship Match
Dean Ambrose(c) vs Rob Van Dam
Feels a bit odd that we’re getting RVD on a pre-show for free only a month since returning. Granted, WWE wanted him on the card and I am sort of surprised he wasn’t included in the WHC match. Either way, any RVD match seems to be dessert at this point and I’ll take what I can get. As we saw on MitB, being on the pre-show doesn’t necessarily diminish the quality of the match; it just gives it a smaller time window. I also would like to think that this match would serve Dean Ambrose as a way to out-do his Shield-mates on their impressive pre-show match against The Usos. I’m glad this match is happening regardless of where it is on the card and I don’t really even care about who wins.
Natalya vs Brie Bella
I could always complain about the presence of a Divas match, especially one that was built purely to further keep Total Divas on the front of our brains, even when the show will technically be going head-to-head with the PPV. However, I’m not really gonna complain because the Divas have more than one match on a PPV and out of the list of possibilities, WWE chose right on the participants. We’ve complained for so long how Natalya is getting shuffled off camera in spite of her ability; well she’s on a PPV and not on anyone’s arm or in someone else’s corner. The other participant is the Bella Twin that isn’t complete crap in the ring and the one that I don’t want to claw my ears off every time she opens her mouth on Total Divas. Could be worse, it could be fakeadactyl and red-head.
Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn vs Big E Langston & AJ
I understand the purpose of booking this match. It’s like the obligatory match between recent tag team partners that recently split (a la Cody and Damien). Although this is between Dolph and AJ and having a mixed tag match is a way to get around that with Kaitlyn and Big E serving as surrogates to their respective genders. Like I’ve stated before, I view this as a way to separate Dolph from the title scene to make sure his face response followed (sort of like going into a second dream state to see if Robert Fischer’s projection of Peter Browning adjusted…BWAAAAAAAAMMMMM).
Cody Rhodes vs Damien Sandow
Basically repeat what I just said about the previous match sans gender surrogates. I was hoping for a bit more from Cody other than the typical Smackdown wacky face which can dangerously resemble the Sheamus face model. Sure, it’s hard not to delve into the silly when opposite a character like Sandow and shame on me for getting my hopes up for something different, I guess. If only they continued the same vibe that was at the end of their MitB match, I’d probably be a little more excited.
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Alberto Del Rio(c) vs Christian
Like I stated before, I’m surprised RVD wasn’t included in this match because so far the only build for this is Christian’s “One More Match” thing that’s starting to feel more like “the end is nigh” vibe. I want to believe more in Del Rio after the matches he had against Dolph but it’s just so hard for me, personally, to get behind the bland and boring character. Christian is fine but I hate the Killswitch and I can’t think of a person that pulls of the spear worse than him. This match gets a solid “meh” from me.
Ring of Fire Match
Kane vs Bray Wyatt
Talk about me getting my hopes up for a match. I’ve had a thing for Bray’s character ever since seeing him in a dark match at Raw in Greensboro back in 2012 and I’ve made no attempt in disguising this interest. That being said, I think this would be a fantastic way to formally introduce Bray’s character into the ring. I honestly never thought we would ever get anything that resembled an Inferno Match again and I firmly believe this is as close as we’ll get. I’m not sure how soon Kane will begin shooting See No Evil 2 but I can kinda see this match as a way to write him off to go shoot it and will elevate Bray. As for the other members of the Wyatt Family, I can see them finding some psychotic way to get into the ring and interfere, it just depends on how far Vince would be willing to let them go. This could either be incredibly intense and fun or be completely campy and corny and could be what skyrockets Bray or set him back a ways.
CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar (Triple H as special referee)
The strangest thing about this match is that there is no stipulation which is something we haven’t seen with a Brock match since his 2012 return. My biggest concern is which Brock will show up. Will be the Brock we saw at Extreme Rules 2012 against Cena? Or the one we saw at Summer Slam 2012 and WM29? Sure, the match at Extreme Rules 2013 was better but that wasn’t saying much and we were beyond burnt out on Lesnar vs HHH. My concerns are dampened knowing he’s going against Punk. Think about the pace of the two Mania matches Taker had against HHH and then think about how much quicker his match against Punk was at WM29. I think CM Punk will get something out of Brock that we never came close to seeing against HHH or Cena. I’m looking forward to it because I’m excited to see what Punk can do with a brickhouse like Brock.
WWE Championship Match
John Cena(c) vs Daniel Bryan
Here we are with a card that involves a CM Punk match and a sort-of return of the Inferno Match and here I am most excited for a Cena match. Of course that’s mostly due to Bryan’s involvement but still, it’s an interesting thought. So far this feud has been expertly crafted over the past month to evolve from a mutual respect and a central desire from the championship and is molded to an emotional base where both characters gradually realize their respect for each other runs out quickly. Of course, I was a little concerned that Daniel Bryan’s scorned demeanor the past couple weeks was treading into heel territory but the fans still love him and responded in kind, which is still a big value Vince gauges (of course his biggest remains merchandise sales). As Joel points out in a future Classy Ring Attire podcast (follow us on twitter @CRAttire) that premieres later this week, if John Cena brings out a brand new shirt for Summer Slam, that means Daniel Bryan is going to win and Cena will need a replacement for his “The Champ is Here” shirt. I’m not sure how much I buy into Joel’s assessment but it’ll be fun to watch him try to comb through the fans on Sunday to see which one is wearing the hypothetical new shirt.
In the end, I still have high expectations for Summer Slam 2013 which means that I may have jinxed it for us all. You can send your hate mail to @joelgleo on twitter.
This week on Total Divas: JoJo gets a minor concussion and debates on quitting after a visit from her douchy man-child boyfriend that probably uses the word “swag” a lot. Non-alcoholic Uso goes into a commitment frenzy and Trinity (the decent dactyl) is confused. Nikki is still a selfish slagathor that despises her sister’s happiness with Bryan Danielson. You can thank me later.
As stated earlier, tune into the latest Classy Ring Attire coming your way later in the week right here on Pulse Wrestling. In the meantime, follow us on Twitter. Also, you can catch up by listening to last week’s super awesome double episode with the incredible Chasity Taylor. The episode was so good that we may have received a compliment from a seemingly random but prominent source (I’m being vague in an attempt to resist over-bragging).
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris
The Answer: So I don’t have that much money but I can pretty much buy Detroit, right?
