The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 12.18.13
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton & Tensai. Are they literally drawing names from a hat for these combinations?
COOHHH joins us to start, in celebration of the “200th episode” of NXT. He recaps some of the people who graduated from the system and puts over the fans for making it all a success. So I guess he’s a babyface this week.
And speaking of babyfaces…
Sami Zayn & Tyson Kidd v. Leo Kruger & Antonio Cesaro
Oh my. Tyson is very oily tonight for some reason. The crowd does a “We the People / Sami Zayn” chant, which is interesting. Kidd works on Kruger with an armbar, and Zayn goes with Cesaro while the crowd reminds us of their vote for Match of the Year. Kidd springboards in with a rollup for two, but leaps into a backbreaker as we take a break. Random note: Hulu thinks I live in Nebraska. I guess it’s kind of like Saskatchewan but without the sub-zero temperatures. Back with Kidd getting the heat and Cesaro gets a gutwrench for two. Cesaro to the chinlock and he flattens Kidd with a clothesline, then boots Zayn off the apron. And Kruger goes to the chinlock, but Kidd low-bridges him to put him on the floor. Kruger cuts off the tag once, but Kidd makes the hot tag and Zayn runs wild. Crossbody on Kruger gets two. Charge hits knee, but Zayn recovers with a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Kidd hits Cesaro with a flip dive to wipe him out, and Sami boots Kruger into the corner for the pin at 12:00. Hey, at least they’re doing something with Kidd if they’re not using him on RAW. ***
Meanwhile, Emma nearly POKES NATTIE’S EYE OUT with her dance, which prompts a catty argument about dancing v. wrestling, and they agree to a match to determine the #1 contender.
NXT Flashback! We head back to the first episode, back when it was the pseudo-competition show, as some geek named Daniel Bryan debuts.
Earlier, the first 200 people in line for tickets get to meet JoJo and Eva Marie! I’d hate to see what the next 200 people got. The caterer for Smackdown? Dolph Ziggler’s hairdresser?
Paige v. Sasha Banks
SLAPFIGHT to start and Summer trips Paige to put Sasha in control. She chokes Paige down with a rather vicious rear naked choke, but she breaks out and tosses Banks with a flying wristlock. Paige comes back with clotheslines, and finishes with the PaigeTurner after an accidental collision between the BFFs at 3:50. This was pretty damn stiff (worked stiff, not really stiff) for a women’s match. **
Meanwhile, Colin and Enzo (in a wheelchair) run afoul of Aiden English, who is preparing his singing voice for later. This sets up a SINGING CONTEST at some point, probably next week. I feel like that could be the most awesome thing ever.
The Ascension v. THE AMERICAN PITBULLS
Holy SHIT. I don’t even catch what stupid names they give him here. I think Davey Richards was something Billington (nyuk nyuk), and he controls Victor, but takes a beating from Conor. Over to Eddie Cahill (Edwards) and the Pitbulls hit them with stereo dives, which gets two. Back in, Davey with the diving headbutt on Victor for two. He comes back with a running knee, and the Ascension finish Richards with the Total Elimination at 4:20. Hopefully this earns our favorite interns a job. Another minor note: The champs are now just “Conor” and “Victor”. Hunico and Camacho come out for some trashtalking to continue that feud.
Meanwhile, Kofi Kingston runs into Alexander Rusev’s representative, setting up another match.
NXT Title, Lumberjack Match: Bo Dallas v. Adrian Neville
And the awesomeness continues, with HOWARD FINKEL as the ring announcer for this. Quite the assortment of cannon fodder at ringside for this. Dallas makes the first attempt at running, and gets thrown back in and rolled up for two. Bo tosses Neville into Tyler Breeze, and Adrian bitchslaps him as we take a break. Uh oh, there’s your screwjob finish right there. Back with Neville throwing kicks until Bo tosses him to stop that. Back in, Dallas drops a knee for two and goes to a chinlock. Breeze, meanwhile, is still selling the slap. The crowd declares this “Bo-ring”. This is a pretty witty crowd. Neville fights up and gets slammed, and Bo stomps on his head and gets two. 360 clothesline gets two. That was quite the sell. Neville blocks the bulldog and comes back with a low dropkick for two. Enzuigiri and standing shooting star press get two. The crowd now points out that a Bo win means they riot. Good to know. Bo runs away again and gets swarmed by the geeks, and Neville hits EVERYONE with a dive from the top. Bo’s look of sheer terror for that is money. Back in, Neville goes up to finish, but Breeze pulls Bo out of the way and Bo steals the win when Neville crashes and burns, at 11:00 to retain. Thankfully the rioting was merely an idle threat on the part of the crowd. ***
The Pulse
Hell of a show, with all sorts of programs set up and Bo Dallas retaining his title yet again, and the American Pitbulls!
Next week: Antonio Cesaro v. William Regal!
