Dr Seuss Meets A Wrestling Fan

Columns

No, I’m not back. Not really. This is something I wrote for a friend of mine, so I thought I’d share it here.
Enjoy!

Did you ever hear about poor little Dennis O’Day?
He was a wrestling fan who really loved his TNA.
He though the ‘E was not proper, all just silly play,
And to anyone who would listen he would always say,
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
And that’s why I watch Total Nonstop Action – TNA.”

He paid when they started, watched once every seven days;
The six-sided ring was great, he knew ut was here to stay.
Maybe Johnsons and Elvises were just barely okay,
But there was enough other cool stuff for him to be proud to say,
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
And that’s why I watch Total Nonstop Action – TNA.”

Then came the Hulkster, Ric Flair and Sting – Yay!
And Foley and Booker and Angle and Hardy… say…
At least there were still homegrown guys like Joe and AJ
And they had great matches so Dennis still felt he could say,
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
And that’s why I watch Total Nonstop Action – TNA.”

They went back to the old ring – well, maybe, okay…
And in came D-Von and Anderson and… hang on – what they hey?
And Nash squashed X-guys like they were in his way.
And even Dennis the mega-fan was much quieter to say,
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
And that’s why I watch Total Nonstop Action – TNA.”

Then E-C-Dub was back when Dennis though they’d gone away,
And Dixie Carter decided to become Mr McMahon one day,
And then Hogan was gone – surely that’s not bad, I mean to say?
Now you’d be hard-pressed to hear poor Dennis say,
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
And that’s why I watch Total Nonstop Action – TNA.”

And suddenly, story or not, there’s no more AJ.
Rumours abound of a sale happening, now, any day,
Even Jeff Jarrett’s gone, to start again, so they say,
And now a different set of words escapes Dennis O’Day:
“I love my wrestling and I watch it every day,
But I’ll watch me some ROH – bugger TNA!”

 

 

 

Australian. Father. Perpetual student. Started watching wrestling before Wrestlemania 1. Has delusions of grandeur and was known to regularly get the snot beaten out of him in a wrestling ring. Also writes occasionally in other Pulse sections.Thinks Iron Mike Sharpe is underrated. http://stevengepp.wordpress.com