I’ll be the first to admit that last night’s episode of The Bachelor Canada hit me (finally!) harder than previous episodes.
For the first time this season, I felt myself feeling, well, feelings.
I was happy for Trisha, playfully skating around her local Edmonton rink, as I reminisced about my first date with my high school boyfriend, skating at Mel Lastman Square many moons ago. I could even get on board with the sexual tension created as he skidded to a halt breathlessly, spraying ice all over her like a good old fashion Canadian ‘pearl necklace’. I get it. There is something sensual about certain ‘sports noises’ and I can still recall the thrill I would get from hearing what I called the ‘windy sound’ as another Karate-loving ex, later on in life packed a powerful punch or kick.
I tsk tsk tsk’d Sachelle for pouting like a child about her poor delayed flight to Sudbury, when she could have A) realized there’s no good reason to ever go to Sudbury or B) gotten in a car and driven. I went to sleepover camp there – they could have made it in under four hours, with enough time to stop in at Eddies for the best mushroom caps ever. Seriously. They were. It’s not like they were flying to Egypt – and god forbid you have a few hours in a car to, oh, I don’t know, get to know the guy you might just be engaged to next week?
I actually mentally patted Tim on the back when he turned those lemons into lemonade and decided to show Sachelle his hood to kill time (even though sitting on a bench and having one sip of coffee wasn’t exactly the most exciting date ever).
On April’s date, I teared as she revealed her sad childhood, losing one parent to drugs while the other might as well be gone too, and I especially choked up over the bond between April and her YeYah (grandmother), but that could be because I’m personally experiencing the slow decline of my 96 year old Bubby too.
So yes, I felt things this week. But I’m also feeling like, is it too little, too late? We are literally nearing the end of the season. Next week we’ll get to watch Kaylynn be The Girl Who Cried Bully on The Women Tell All, and then it’s a hop, skip and a jump over to Proposal Town? Really?
Sure, we made progress last night, but I still compare the budding relationships to third or fourth date material and not much more.
First we had Trisha’s date. Like I said, cute and all, and no doubt, those kisses were passionate, but still at the end of the day, the most lasting impression was made by her family and the Saturday Night Live sketch I was convinced they were working out the kinks to as they sang Jesus jingles and stared blankly at her. Even Trish’s brother who was all Magnum PI waiting to meet Tim in his sunglasses, didn’t say a single word.
Then there’s Sachelle, who like I said, was a bit of a disappointment with the whole, ‘The date is ruined! Now we’ll never get to see the Nickel Mines!’ (because what else is there to see?) hissy fit.
You can tell things are getting ‘realer’ with Tim and his feelings are steadily intensifying for each of the girls here, and he must have done something right because upon meeting Sachelle’s family, he managed to leave without getting punched in the face by her brother. And that’s even after he tried to convince us that he’s totally on board with proposing next week. Really, Dude? Are your friends not watching this at home going, ‘Seriously?!?’
When Sachelle and Tim part ways, I almost missed her randomly dropping the L bomb like she was ordering at a Drive Thru Tim Hortons. Say what now? You love him? Well, nothing says love like a big ol’ hug to the guy you might be marrying next week. It’s time to start rounding the bases, Sachelle. Or at least warm up on the field, no?
With April, Tim finally gets to hear the story that we all got to hear in the season premiere – you know, the one designed to capture our hearts? And yes, it’s a sad story, and yes, she seems sweet, but I am not as blown away by her as I expected to be as the season began. She’s still just sorta ‘meh’.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I think though. Clearly Tim was moved enough by it to offer her his signature forehead press as an expression of deep admiration for all she’s gone through. He doesn’t just hand those out, guys.
As deeply engaged as her grandmother was with intimately exploring Tim’s heart during dinner at the Highway restaurant she was raised in, that’s how deeply engaged her grandfather was in cutting his meat. You’ve got Auntie Androgynous on one side, feeling the need to explain Grandma’s every sentence, and Grandpa on the other, slicing into his meat with such vigour, that I literally don’t think he looked up from his plate once. Nevertheless, Tim somehow made it through the night soaking only a couple of napkins in his forehead sweat and leaving with YeYah’s blessing, so it’s all good.
Cue foreboding music. It’s time to visit Lisa.
Thank God Tim came to his senses. The last Bachelor title I would ever want to be given is the recognition for being the only Bachelor in the show’s history to have a girl cheat on him during the show’s taping, and let her stick around.
Things started off a bit weird anyways, with Lisa borderline sprinting through the park she met Tim at. He practically had to run after her and likely only begged her to tell him what happened that night so he could have a moment to catch his breath on the bench. I’d like to think he had already decided to let her go before he met her there, but I’m thinking her bold-faced lie and confirmation that she was ‘100% honest’ with him when he repeatedly asked her what happened, was what put the nail in the coffin.
I wanted to wag my finger at him as he apologized to her for ending things, when clearly she was the one who should have been saying sorry. Don’t you dare apologize, Tim! You can tell by the look on her face that she doesn’t even care. Good Riddance, Lisa the Liar.
So here we are, nearing the end, capturing a moment of Tim deep in thought as he leans over a bridge. Clearly he made the right decision last night, sending Sachelle home. I wish I could say the right decisions were made all around, but to do that I’d have to ignore the travesties that were Trisha’s shoes and April’s dress. Just wow.
Next week – the women tell all. I’m not quite sure what they’ll be telling us, but I’m hoping for some juice. And just for the record, as hot as it may be to hear a man cut ice with his skates or revel in his inner ninja, I married a guitarist. Nuf said. Winning.
