Forever Heel November 13

Columns

I’m hoping WWE isn’t gradually separating Rusev from Lana? I know people are complaining that their gimmicks are too 80’s and Rocky 4. The reason this gimmick isn’t dated, is because there is a new cold war with Russia. I’m not surprised some WWE fan’s don’t get it because this is mostly an American thing, and international fans probably live in a country that has no dog in this fight. I’m surprised that there are Americans that don’t know this is going on. I mean America is isolating itself while Russia and China is openly eating global markets. This is similar to how Rusev took the US Belt with the blessing of the Authority because it’s easier to appease Rusev.

Okay enough world politics. I need to get to some notes here…

People are figuring out who I am on here and finding me on Facebook. That’s fine, I’m not in witness protection or anything. Just know that if you troll me, I will keep feeding you. So if you want to tell me that I’m a pussy because I don’t use the f’word, or you want to flame with a bunch of Chris Benoit photos, I will bug the snot out of you until you send me a picture of yourself in baby clothes.

A few months ago I interviewed Jack Swagger and his haircut. Some of the credit for that article should go to BD, and Scott Keith, since they began talking about The Swagger Haircut like it was a sentient being.

I also wrote an article that was supposed to be a series of memos from Vince McMahon. I was inspired by “Fake Vince Blog”, that was around the net in 2009. Look it up if you haven’t, it’s genius. My homage to that blog was underwhelming at best. So check out the original.

Okay let’s get to the heel news

Adam Rose turned awesome last week. I like that he still has the Exotic Express with him while he transitions into a heel. I know from personal experience that there is nothing more awkward than a villain that wants you to party with them. I’m hoping that the Exotic Express will start losing the partiers and began having wrestlers takeover their spots, as a new faction. They did a similar thing with Farooque. Where the Nation was just nameless guys in bow ties, and turned into a wrestling faction. I’m afraid of what will happen, Adam Rose loses to the Bunny, and Rose becomes the first guy to job to a returning Roman Reigns.

Bo Dallas is hurt. He wasn’t going anywhere before he left, so I hope he comes back with a push. I think he should keep his gimmick, but not be treated as a comedy wrestler. We haven’t seen this type of heel since Kurt Angle turned himself into a stale badass.

I’m not sure we need the André the Giant Battle Royale next year. They’ve done nothing with Cesaro, and keep him in this Authority wannabe storyline where he keeps losing his chance to join the group. I’m bored with his stupid music and robe, and its obvious Hunter is doing this. He did the same thing with R-Truth, Ryder, and Sandow. I still don’t understand why Paul Heyman can’t manage more than one guy at a time?

Speaking of the Authority, I don’t see why they would lose at this point. They’re at their strongest, which means they’ll lose. I don’t know who would take over, but I’m hoping for a heel Hogan. They could call him the “President of General Management”, or New Foods Supervisor, etc.

I was going to bring this up last week, but I don’t see a problem with the finish of Hell in a Cell. Since Ambrose and Seth aren’t really fighting than it doesn’t matter who wins this match. It’s a story not a sport. Also all I hear is how people want something new, and then that get losses when WWE does it. Dusty finishes are part of pro-wresting. The month before this there were people who felt robbed because Seth Rollins didn’t get to cash-in his case a win the belt. WWE has discovered a new form of mark. A fan that knows wrestling is a storyline, but still wants the best man to win. I remember last year fans were getting refunds from OnDemand because the WWE remained vacant. These people would’ve Shit if they saw WCW in the late 90’s. This bullshit with Brock is still going on. There’s nothing in the WWE rule book that says the owners of WWE need to following their own rules. Brock shouldn’t be a fighting champ anyway because WWE only has three main event guys and a mediocre mid-card roster that is only going to get smaller. Besides you got Seth Vs Ambrose as the main event, isn’t that like having a threesome in nerd minds?

Heel of the Week is Luke Harper because he took out blond Zak Ryder.

Top 5 guys in long tights

5)Pillman
4) Sting
3)Rude
2) HBK
1)Hollywood Hogan

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.