Pulse Flashback 01/11/2005: Eric S’s Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc, SmarK Rant for WWE New Year’s Revolution 2005

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Inside Pulse launched on August 9, 2004, and has covered the world of wrestling for over a decade. Every day, we take a look back at what was happening in the world of wrestling 10 years ago, as reported right here at Inside Pulse!

The SmarK Rant for WWE New Year’s Revolution 2005

– Opening match, RAW World tag titles: Eugene & William Regal v. Christian & Tyson Tomko. Eugene is all about the Hulkamania tonight. Considering Hulk’s recurring knee problems, maybe he decided to take that gimmick a bit TOO far. Regal starts out with Captain Charisma and they exchange wristlock takedowns and Regal shoulderblocks him down for one. He grabs a headlock and they work off that. Regal takes him into the face corner and Eugene tries the Atomic Wedgie, the most dreaded of all finishers, and Christian is forced to back off. Christian grabs a headlock to recover and Eugene outsmarts him with some JYD action, so it’s Tomko time. Tomko lays him out and chokes away, and Christian comes back in, so Eugene slides out and fraternizes with the fans. He hides under the ring, outsmarts the heels again, and rolls up Christian for two. Airplane spin allows some more silliness, but Tomko chokeslams him to take over for the heels. This crowd is popping for EVERYTHING. I love that kind of crowd. Tomko powerslam gets two. Christian comes in and hammers away, but Eugene hulks up and backdrops him. Hot tag Regal, but he gets hammered by Tomko from behind for two. Back to the heel corner for more punishment, and Christian slugs him down for two and draws blood via the nose. Regal fights back with knees on Tomko, but Christian gets a cheapshot from the apron and Tomko goes to a facelock. They collide in the corner and Regal crawls for the tag, but he crawls to the wrong corner. Whoops.

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Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc., 01.11.05

Son of a bitch…some cocksucker woke me up at 8 AM yesterday morning with a wrong number. Fortunately, I went to sleep before midnight and took a Klonopin, so I had a relaxing night of sleep beforehand. This was worse than being called in to do overtime, without the cows. However, it did give me the advantage of starting the column early and grabbing some coffee, which seems to help the other pills I take. So therefore I should have thanked the guy.

I do want to mention something that I kept forgetting during the Chicago Period. I used to go just over the border to Indiana for cheap cigarettes. When I entered Dyer, Indiana, right across the border (which had multiple cig shops on US 30, one of the main routes into Indiana), I kept seeing a sign. The sign said “Mary Kay Thanos, Lawyer”. That was beautiful. Three different forms of absolute evil in only four words. I’ve always thought I’d hire her in case of trouble, but I wasn’t sure she was licensed in Illinois…

…you know, I have no idea why I went off on that tangent. Sin of omission, I guess. I should have done it years ago.

Three more months until I can submit my promotion forms…it’s now a race against time. Can the Lamictal stabilize my mood enough to stand this shitty job until there’s light at the end of the tunnel? We just have to wait and see.

And speaking of waiting and seeing…damn, I can’t of a transition for that. The Palestinian Authority election is over, the first round of the NFL playoffs is over, even Marvellous Marvin’s wedding to Sharon Austin, everything that you can think of as waiting and seeing have been. There’s only one thing I can think of: the new nominee for the head of the Department of Homeland Facism looks like Jim Carrey in Lemony Snicket. So let’s just get on with it…

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RAW Off Camera Happenings, Heat Spoilers & Dark Matches

The RAW opening segment was pretty good. The crowd was into it. Batista was way over with the crowd. There were a lot of “E-C-W chants” during Rhyno’s, Stevie’s, Tajiri’s and Jericho’s matches. Overall the show was pretty good and was actually worth the money. The HBK/Edge brawl was awesome. It literally went through the ENTIRE arena during the break.

DARK:

After the show the best part of the night The Bonus 6 man tag was Edge & HHH & Batista vs. Y2J & Benoit & Orton with Special referee HBK. This was FUNNY AS HELL. It started off with HHH playing rock-paper-scissor shoot with his team and he lost. After that, Benoit hit HHH with chops which led to HHH running up the ramp like a girl. Then Edge did the same, then Batista. HHH started performing CPR on Edge (tons of laughs). In the middle of the match, HHH’s team got their tights pulled down so you can see their bare behinds. They left their tights down for at least 5 minutes and were actually wrestling like that. After the match, HBK kicked Edge which caused him to become dizzy and land in some girl’s chest! After Edge picked his head up, his face had to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

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WWE Signs New Stars?

Rumors are running that WWE signed Mike and Todd Shane to deals of some sort yesterday. They were backstage at the Raw taping in Fort Lauderdale, Florida last night and worked out in the afternoon prior to fans being let into the Arena and WWE management made the call to sign them.

You may remember the Shane Twins from their brief stint as The Johnsons during the early days of TNA.

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