That’s right, I’m back to address all of my little Rageans, Ragists? Ragers? You’d think I’d know what to call all of you after 4 years of this, right? Either way, I’d like to start by thanking everyone for understanding why I had to take some time off. Although, with Classy Ring Attire doing as well as it has been lately, I haven’t really been away all that much but I did kinda missed this one-on-one interaction and dear cheebus, did I pick a great week to come back.
In last week’s Rumble prediction Classy Ring Attire that has mysteriously gone unposted as of yet, I correctly predicted a couple things that would later come to fruition:
A: The Dudleys would be a surprise entrant (I get half points for that, right?)
B: DDP would be a surprise entrant
C: WWE would choose to have Daniel Bryan eliminated early in the match, before Roman would even enter in an attempt to make sure the fans didn’t associate Roman’s win with Daniel Bryan’s elimination to avoid the crowd defecating all over the end of the match.
That’s precisely what happened but it sure as hell didn’t work as the crowd promptly took a giant dump all over the biggest moment of Reigns’ career, briefly paused to cheer for Rock and then went right back to imposing their brown doom.
And it’s probably a good thing I waited a couple days before I wrote this because my initial reaction was that the Schrodinger’s IWC (because there’s apparently still a debate on whether or not it actually exists which has to be THE dumbest debate I’ve ever heard of since the Han Shot First debate…seriously, who cares) was reacting to this match like a bunch of spoiled brats. Yes, last year was crap that Bryan wasn’t even in the Rumble match and you let your voice be heard and WWE made an unprecedented compromise to not only include him in the main event but have him win the damn thing. Does that mean WWE should do the same thing this year? Of course not. And besides, remember the debate a few months back where HHH wanted Brock vs Reigns whereas Vince wanted Brock vs Rock? Everybody seemingly came to the defense of Reigns but now that Bryan is back in the picture, Brock vs Reigns apparently sounds like WWE Studios decided to make White Chicks 2: Even Whiter. And of course, a lot of folks are back-peddling and saying that their problem isn’t with Roman, it’s the way they went about it in the match and it’s too much too early for the 3rd year Superstar. But the more I read what is posted in reddit and comment sections all over the internet, the more the point of anger seems to be that it’s because Daniel Bryan didn’t win, plain and simple, no matter how their explanation is packaged.
And I get the rage, trust me, I really do. I’d love to see a Brock vs Bryan match and it sounds like WM31 is gonna be the last opportunity for that to happen before Brock presumably rejoins the UFC. However, that doesn’t mean Brock vs Reigns isn’t a valid Wrestlemania main event, it already sounds a hell of a lot better than Batista vs Orton.
So what are the legitimate points of discontent with the Rumble match? Big Show, Kane and the wacky ending. The whole set-up with Show and Kane unceremoniously dumping top superstars left and right was to lead to Roman getting the white knight pop at the end that finally put both in their place. The problem was that the white knight needed a white knight to save the day “after the match.” And if that wasn’t enough, we’d expect to see Rock and Reigns standing tall with pyro and praise raining down but instead Rock awkwardly walked around the apron because the match was apparently not over and he was the only one in kayfabe that knew that. The whole waiting to get the surprise win at the end works best with someone with a comedy gimmick and not so much with a serious monster gimmick like Rusev, especially when white knight #1 is going to dispose of said monster fairly quickly, although the hi-def slow motion shot of Roman’s spear on Rusev was pretty rad. And yes, all was done to try to give Roman as much of a rub as possible for a good, positive pop at the end when he finally win but the fans’ tantrum was not to be conquered.
And as for the whole #CancelWWENetwork that was trending for like 2 days, cancelling your subscription to the Network because of ONE match is the exact equivalent of cancelling your Netflix because you didn’t like the outcome of one movie that nobody forced you to watch. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty angry by the end of Rubber but Netflix still has West Wing and House of Cards so I got over it pretty quick.
Was Roman the perfect choice to fight Brock at WM31? Not at all and yes, Daniel Bryan would’ve been the perfect choice as far as match quality and storyline seeing as how he was never pinned to lose the championship. And yes, the end of Royal Rumble was crappy and used the same type of false-finish that we had just seen just a few years ago with Del Rio and Santino. And yes, I’ll even concede the point that this might be too much too soon with Roman and everything about him has been incredibly forced lately. However, the story to be told leading up to WM31 is an interesting one to be told. We’ll hopefully see the serious side of Roman and he’ll stay far away from fairy tales and Looney Tunes catchphrases and we’ll have Paul Heyman at the center of it. And that’s another thing, everyone is so focused on Reign’s lack of mic skills and coming to the conclusion that he’ll be eaten alive by Heyman but that’s not Paul’s job nor should be expect that. I always hate promoting a podcast that isn’t my own but Heyman basically listed his job description in great detail in his recent interview on Stone Cold’s podcast. The paraphrase of it was that his job was to not only put over Brock Lesnar but put over the match in general and give the fans a reason to watch the PPV and we saw the first bit of that during the weird snow-day interview episode of Raw this week, which I thought reflected all parties involved incredibly well. So Paul Heyman will be the vocal anchor for this match which means it will be in good hands and, who knows, Roman might even learn and pick up a few things along the way. Also, when Roman presumably wins, Brock leaving the next day and Rollins cashing in soon thereafter, Reigns and Rollins have a ready-made feud ready to go that will cover the pocket of suck.
So the point of all this is to say one thing:
Calm down, nerds. (which were just typed by a fat guy with a huge beard and wearing a shirt from his Star Wars collection…but the point remains the same)
Thanks again for understanding in my time away and it feels great to be back. A few logistical points to be made, I’m condensing the RAGER and RAGER’S 10 Thoughts so that during slow weeks, I don’t have to choose one or the other because I don’t have much material to work with that particular week. There’s no 10 thoughts included in this one because of the aforementioned weird snowed-in episode but expect moreso starting next week. Honestly, the real reason I’m back with RAGER is because my podcast wife, Joel Leonard, issued a challenge to see which one of us could write 1,000,000 words in 2015 first and he is so damn far ahead of me right now. So if you get to the end of my articles and there’s just nonsensical babbling, that’s why.
Also, I know I’m terribly late with this but how amazing was Wrestle Kingdom 9? On a 1-10 scale, anyone giving it below a 9.9 is a rotten individual that has no emotions and you should end all associations with them because I’m pretty sure the beginning of the robotic uprising starts with that prick.
NXT R-Evolution was damn near perfect so anyone cancelling their subscription because of the Rumble is a simple bitch for that reason alone.
Finally, I’ve watched a ton of movies since the last time we spoke. Interstellar takes the cake in my book. Imitation Game was good, as was Theory of Everything. Big Eyes was meh. Also, I really dug Gone Girl. House of Cards comes back in a month so GET HYPE!
I’m eager to see what everybody has to say below. Last year, I was put to task by all of you for daring to allude to Roman Reigns being the weaker link of Shield, I can’t wait to see hate splatter for coming to his defense now. Let’s rumble.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
The Victoriously Returning Sanders
