Forever Heel: It’s Time TNA Bought WWE Plus Top 5 WWE Vs. TNA Matches

Columns, Top Story

So it was reported TNA is late with paying talent. I guess it’s over, and only a matter of time before TNA invades WWE? As soon as Vince buys TNA, we’ll finally see Robbie E. Vs Mizdow. I’m only kidding we’ll definitely see Aries Vs Bryan for the IC Belt. Jeff Hardy will return to have a great feud with Rollins. I can’t wait until Vince buys TNA. Oh wait. Let’s control our wrestle boners because we all know, it doesn’t work like that. Just watch TNA, and give it an actual chance because nothing better will replace it.

TNA has never been a great place for storylines, and creative direction. I can remember guys turning on each other, and then winning the number one contendership for the NWA[TNA] Tag Titles. Since 2013, TNA has been more consistent storylines. TNA evolving is a better outcome than, “Just put TNA out of it’s misery.”, because nothing better is going to replace TNA. Well no pro wrestling show would. I can promise you that there is no huge wrestling company waiting for TNA to die, so it can begin a second Monday Night War.

I know we live in a competitive time for some reason. I see idiots argue about which game console is better, or if DC or Marvel is better. These are moronic things to argue about. Buy both Goddamn consoles, and buy a ticket for Superman Vs Batman, and one for Captain America’s Civil War. So you can watch Raw, then watch TNA Impact. If you want to compete then make yourself smarter, so I can actually be proud to be an exiled war criminal that defected to America.

Okay let’s say TNA dies. I don’t see Ring of Honor being allowed to grow to the number two spot. Lucha Underground is very niche, even though it’s wonderful. I can’t see New or All Japan caring to run shows here. There’s Jeff Jarrett’s GFW, but I’m not sure his business model is going to work. Jeff should get more accountants on this idea of trading local talent all over the world. It didn’t really work in the territory days even. Where’s all that Von Erich, and Watts’ money?

The other scenario I often hear is that a billionaire will come out of the woodwork with the goal of beating WWE. Fans usually look to Ted Turner to give WWE a run for its money. Turner doesn’t want to step in the gutter and spend hundreds of millions to fight a quaint wrestling promotion. Turner ran Time Warner, that’s like 50 WWE’s. Mark Cuban, Billy Corgan, and Toby Kieth aren’t interested either, or they’d have done it.

WWE learned a valuable lesson back in 2003, casual fans are. fickle, and you can’t rely on just wrestling fans to prop up a Fortune 500 company. Also WWE can’t be bothered with TNA because they’re competing with all kinds of other shit people want to watch more than Eric Young Vs Kurt Angle.

In closing I’d like to tell you about how crazed fans killed DC Comics cartoons. See fans hated the show “Beware the Batman”, and it was put on hiatus. It wasn’t replaced by another superhero show because Cartoon Network felt that if fans hated a Batman cartoon, and Batman is everyone’s favorite, then there’s no reason to continue. Instead they replaced “Beware the Batman”, with “Uncle Grandpa”. Don’t ruin my life and kill TNA, or I’ll have to get Uncle Grandpa on your tails.

Top WWE Vs TNA Matches

5) Austin Aries Vs Heath Slater

4) Adam Rose Vs Zima Ion

3) Magnus Vs The Bunny

2) Sting Vs Taker Vs Matt Morgan *w/BD in Morgan’s corner.

1) Abyss Vs Kane Vs Foley Vs Sabu Vs Balls Mahoney Vs Necro Butcher Vs Monty Brown Vs Krimson, Vs Sht Slaughter Vs Sid Vs Kanes Vs Executioners Vs New Jack

This weeks top heels are New Day because they’re heels that take it personally when you don’t cheer for them. Seriously what other current heel wants to be cheered, and notices when they’re being booed?

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.