Marketing to Marks: Drunk on NJPW Acquisitions. (AJ Styles, Bullet Club, Nakamura)

Columns, Top Story

This is the last regular article under the Forever Heel title. Don’t worry Forever Heel is going to be around, but less frequent because I think it’s too niche. I thought instead I’d focus on the money and legal end of pro-wrestling. Don’t worry it’ll be fun, and you’ll feel smart when you’re finished. So come on smart guy , let’s look at insider shit.

The biggest news this past week are the almost true rumors of AJ Styles, Doc/Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, and Shinsuke Nakamura coming to WWE. This is far more exciting than the constant rumors of the Hardy Boys, or Kurt Angle returning to WWE.

As far as I know, WWE isn’t interested in buying The Bullet Club name. That would fit with IWPG’s plans for the future of Bullet Club. New Japan is planning on keeping the stable alive with Kenny Omega) the Bucks, and Bad Luck Fale and Tama Tonga. The only thing that makes me wonder is the tweets by the Bucks ending with “#Elite”. These tweets give me the feeling that the Bucks are including only Omega and themselves under the “Elite” banner.

There’s now rumors of Bad Luck and Tonga going to WWE. If true it would make the sale of the Bullet Club name to WWE more likely. WWE would get exclusive rights, and New Japan would push Bucks and Omega as “The Elite”. Perhaps calling themselves “Bullet Club Elite” then quietly dropping “Bullet Club” part later.

It’s most likely that WWE doesn’t want the Bullet Club name. Nobody knows who they are because the stable never appeared in WCW, or ECW. WWE assumes fans don’t watch ROH, New Japan, or follow GFW. They’ll just make another name, probably Balor Club, and that’ll only be a NXT stable. Besides it’s not like WWE did a stellar job with their version of the NWO. I think BWO and NWO were the only crossover stable attempts by WWE? Okay, maybe the Dudleys.

The major part of this news is AJ Styles, and Nakamura. AJ Styles finally joins WWE after I spent the last half of 2015 Shitting on him. I’m actually a major fan of Styles, and used to cringe as TNA turned him into the toady of Christian, then Kurt Angle. Claire Lynch, and the end of his “No One” gimmick killed me. still I’m positive TNA couldn’t help him, and he couldn’t make TNA draw. No one can make TNA draw.

The rumor is that AJ and Joe are being put on the main roster soon, with Balor, Anderson , and Nakamura following shortly. This makes sense, since half of WWE’s roster is on the injury list. I just don’t know how they’re going to introduce all these guys and get fans acquainted with them before Mania.

Nakamura is the actual “Best in the World”, he’s better than Angle, Daniel Bryan, and the reanimated corpse of Chris Benoit, in his prime. He doesn’t speak English really, and that will hurt him in WWE. WWE’s only main event star from Japan, was a Samoan guy pretending to be a sumo wrestler. WWE gave us Kung Funaki and “Choppy Choppy the Pi-Pi”. If WWE wants to bring in anymore “has been” WCW talent, I’d suggest hiring Sunny Ohno to speak, while Nakamura learns to speak english. Nakamura’s presence is big, but I don’t believe that WWE will allow that to carry him.

Karl Anderson is no slouch, and Gallows has improved in New Japan. Which is bizarre since Doc Gallows was mediocre is TNA. I have a feeling Anderson and Gallows will join Balor, in NXT at least. Anderson doesn’t need to be in a stable, and should be on his own in the main roster.

Okay well we did okay. There wasn’t much financial news, or legal news here, but I couldn’t find anything on what their contracts, or any speculation on their new names. No one’s signed anything. Yes, Sunny Ohno is free to join WWE. He’s by no means an actual “has been”, just a WCW one.

I’m really excited about all this. Sorry about this being so late. Friendship Sparkles!

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.