Marketing to Marks: A Simple Successful Mania (Wyatts, Triple H, Roman, NXT Guys)

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So it looks like this WrestleMania thing is going to happen. Since half of the main roster is injured, WWE could either start to showcase new stars, reminiscent of WM 10, or force Taker, Kane, Triple H, and a bunch of filler on us. Maybe Pete Rose can be there? He’s still gold right? He played baseball guys. The Millennials will mark out when they see that Pete Rose came to WresteMania to kick as across Texas.

Anyway here’s what I see…

1) Brock is WWE’s biggest active star. I can’t see Brock Vs Roman II doing worse than Triple H Vs Roman. Everyone knows Bork laser, and fans still buy shows based on the main event. Besides Brock doesn’t need to murder Owens, or Stroman. I guess Taker can do that in another match?

2) It doesn’t matter what happens, The Authority angle must end. If WWE wanted to turn Roman heel they needed to do it months ago. It makes no sense for him to turn now. The Authority needs to go because I’m going to put my head in my microwave if they turn Roman, and he joins any evil authority figure. This has been going on since 2013, and I’m turning off WWE, along with plenty of others, if this angle continues. This angle is not nearly as good as the NWO/WCW storylines, and that lasted 18 months when people started turning Nitro off.

3) It’s in Texas so expect Austin, Booker , and HBK to embarrass JBL, or something. Fans will like that. Classically done wrestler comedy hijinks always do well. I’m assuming Taker will be elsewhere.

4) WWE has a hard-on for Braun Stroman. If he faces Taker, I don’t see him going beyond losing to the Deadham. If he wins, then he’ll get a belt, and main event Summerslam because this is a “big men’s” sport, and it’s 1982.

5) Now would be a good time for Cody Vs Goldust. People still want to see it. Each guy is good at what they do. This shits a no-brainer.

6) If Hunter has to wrestle, let that be the final nail that kills the Authority.

7) Rock is allowed to wrestle because of one of his movie contracts. I assume he’ll help Roman fight off any third party run-ins.

8) WWE doesn’t really need to call anyone up from NXT, WWE’s main roster is full of talented guys that they never use. If anyone comes up, they need to bring them up now, while they can build them up. I guess AJ Styles and Joe wouldn’t need much buildup, they remind of how Punk had a rep before WWE? They would work.

9) Just do Flair Vs Paige Vs Sasha Vs Lynch. Duh.

10) Turn the Usos and New Day. Nobody gives a single fuck about the Usos. Why is PTP being held back anyway? I guess add the Dudleys for all the diluted Attitude Era junkies?

11) Hogan need not apply.

12) Social Outcasts Vs Wyatts, or Ryback Vs A Social Outcast? Axel and Ryback have history, and Axel can carry The Big Guy. I’m still a Ryback guy. I think WWE could make good money with him. He’s the pro-wrestling version of Goku, from DBZ. A strong naive guy, that just wants to be a good guy.

13) WWE should also probably push the League of Nation to dominate? I mean Sheamus, and ADR should look strong because WWE will always push these guys, so why not do it right?

14) Finally , let Owens and Ambrose kill each other over the IC Belt. It makes no sense that Kevin Owens would put his body on the line against Brock. Owens cares about money first, he can’t make money if Brock kills him. The Owen’s’ character is too smart for that. Owens believes he can beat Ambrose, and get that high pay that comes with the IC Title.

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.