Welcome to the 2016 WWE Fastlane event. I’m be your driver (@HTC_OBrien on Twitter) for this evening, the “Top Draw” Joseph O’Brien providing you with the winners, losers, major happenings & media snippets from the final event before WrestleMania 32!
Annnnd we’re kicking things off with Renee Young, Booker T, Jerry Lawler and Corey Graves. Within minutes Lawler has insulted Renee Young’s dress and questioned how the Diva’s championship match could be any good. Lawler to Renee: “You’re so cute when you’re talking about things you don’t understand.” I wonder if this is old heel King or the King who REALLY doesn’t want to be on a pre-show.
<- Video package for Charlotte versus Brie Bella ->
<- Video package for the main event ->
Paul Heyman has joined the Kickoff Panel to discuss Brock Lesnar’s day and how he’s preparing. Heyman admits that he himself is looking past Fastlane and is ready for WrestleMania. He doesn’t think there’s any way that these two men can beat his Beast. Corey Graves and Jerry Lawler both agreed.
So while the panel is discussing the New Day/Edge and Christian segment, Jerry Lawler says “Music and wrestling just don’t go together.” This from a guy who made a lot of money during the Rock ‘n Wrestling era. Sigh…
Backstage, Jojo is interviewing Dolph Ziggler who is supporting a Princess Bride hairstyle and talking about Twitter and The People vs OJ Simpson. At some point he said he’s going to be Owens for the IC title.
The 2 out of 3 falls match is next with less than 30 minutes left on the Kickoff Show. Should be exciting.
Mauro Ranallo is out with JBL and Bryon Saxton to call the United States Championship match. Kalisto and Del Rio spend most of the first fall on the outside of the ring. When Kalisto was looking to jump off the barricade, Del Rio hit Kalisto in the leg with a chair. Kalisto wins the first fall by DQ.
The second fall begins and Del Rio picks up the pin within seconds after a double stomp to Kalisto’s gut.
Kalisto began his babyface return culminating in a nice tilt-a-whirl DDT for a long two count on Del Rio. Alberto regains control, throws Kalisto out of the ring and performs the double stomp off of the barricade. Kalisto slides in at 9 1/2 for the match to continue. Kalisto rolls Del Rio up in a tight small package and retains the US championship.
AJ Styles is in the social media lounge to answer some Twitter questions. Loves being here, never expected the reaction at the Royal Rumble, idolized Barry Sanders and Sting growing up and finally feels like he’s in the major leagues now that he’s in the WWE.
Here we go!!! The Divas are kicking off Fastlane!
After a brief moment of miscommunication, Becky and Sasha get on the same page with a double baseball slide to Team BAD on the outside. Naomi takes over after dropping Becky off the top rope. Team BAD controls the majority of the match before Sasha gets the hot tag and goes to work. She hits the Bank Statement on Naomi but Tamina breaks it up. Becky regains control for their team with a double dropkick off the top rope. Sasha wraps Tamina into a tilt-a-whirl Bank Statement while Becky locked in the Disarm-her on Naomi. Team BAD taps.
Winners: Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch
The “work horses” are up next with the Intercontinental Championship on the line.
The commentators are playing up Dolph Ziggler being in his hometown of Cleveland (he even is wearing “Cleveland” styled gear) but Lillian Garcia announces him from Hollywood, Florida…
Owens responds to the crowd chanting by shouting at Ziggler: “Your hometown likes me more than you!” Owens whipped Ziggler into the turnbuckle where Dolph took a sick looking Bret Hart-style front bump.
Owens controls the match with rest holds but loses momentum when he rams his shoulder into the ring post. Ziggler comes back with a splash, neckbreaker and elbow drops for a 2 count.
Owens comes back with his fisherman buster off of the second rope but Ziggler rolls out of the ring before a pinfall. Ziggler and Owens trade 3 superkicks but no pinfalls (the Young Bucks would be proud). Ziggler went to “tune up the band” but Owens pulled the referee in the way. Ziggler stopped short but Owens countered with the pop-up powerbomb for the win. GREAT match.
Winner: Kevin Owens
<- Backstage promo with Kane, Big Show and Ryback. Just because we needed to see more of them. ->
JBL: “This is going to be monkey butt ugly but fun to watch.” Well he got the first part right.
Ryback, Kane and The Big Show beat The Wyatt Family cleanly. Yes, you read that right. The world is confused.
Winners: The Big Show, Kane and Ryback
<- Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose are interviewed by Jojo & didn’t just tease tension between the two of them, they flat out said that they are going to go at it tonight. But either way, they promised Brock Lesnar was not going to be facing Triple H at WrestleMania. ->
Charlotte’s heel promos have been great building up to this match and Brie has been the perfect foil. I’m glad Brie was put in this spot as she has to be the most sympathetic woman on the roster right now. Lillian Garcia provided the in-ring “championship” introductions. I love that little addition as it is something else that makes the Divas title mean something.
Brie is rocking Daniel Bryan’s WrestleMania 30 kickpads tonight.
Referee Rudy has a latex gloves on and it looks like Charlotte may have a cut on her nose. The champ remains in control however. Brie is able to counter, hit Brie Mode, Nikki’s swinging forearm, a top rope dropkick, the YES kicks and the Bella Buster but couldn’t get a three-count. She locked in the YES Lock but when Ric Flair began to pull Charlotte out of the ring, Brie turned it into a single-leg crab. Eventually Brie’s leg gave out and Charlotte countered to win the match with the Figure-8.
Finally a heel promo from Chris Jericho. Expect full heel Jericho tonight.
Jericho takes over early and really slows down the match. AJ Styles went for a crossbody to the outside and Jericho counters with a dropkick. GREAT height on the dropkick by Jericho.
AJ begins to take control again and goes for the flip reverse DDT. He didn’t get it cleanly but it still drew a collective “ohhh” from the WWE crowd. Jericho comes back with a Lionsault but only a two. Styles set up for the springboard forearm but Jericho countered by hitting him with his own springboard dropkick. While Jericho was seated on the top rope, he slaps AJ only for Styles to respond with the Pele Kick. Scary moment when AJ when for a top rope frankensteiner and Jericho dropped him on his head when trying to reverse the move into the Walls Of Jericho. Styles recovered though and got to the ropes before tapping. Jericho nails Styles with a Codebreaker while Styles was trying to get back into the ring. The referee didn’t count because Styles’ arm was under the ropes. Jericho audiables calls AJ a “stupid son of a bitch” which fired Styles back into the match. AJ Styles nails the Styles Clash but Jericho shockingly kicks out. AJ doesn’t let go though and transitions into the Calf Crusher to which Jericho taps. THAT’S what an AJ/Y2J match should always be. Great work.
Chris Jericho enters the ring and AGAIN teases attacking AJ Styles but in the end both men shake hands.
Winner: AJ Styles
I honestly don’t know how I’ll recap this but let’s see what happens. The New Day interrupt Edge and Christian talking about the first ever tag team ladder match that took place in this same area. Xavier Woods is sporting something that kind of looks like a afro-Hogan hair cut.
Edge & Christian just had the lines of the night. When listing off all of the ways The New Day is ripping off Edge & Christian, Edge replies (when referencing The New Day’s debut) “How can someone so chocolate be so vanilla?” With Christian responding with “And faster than Kofi lost his Jamaican accent, you became entertaining.”
Edge and Christian basically baited The New Day into calling out The League of Nations. Both teams sort of faced off before The New Day left followed by Edge and Christian who ended up dancing with The New Day in the aisle. Yes, it was just as confusing as I’ve tried to describe.
<- Um, now it’s R-Truth versus Curtis Axel… The match ends when Goldust comes down to help R-Truth but accidentally causes Truth to lose. I would say this was the most confusing thing on the show but earlier The Big Show, Kane and Ryback won a match…->
Alright now that’s over, it’s main event time!
Brock Lesnar is unstoppable in the beginning, suplexing both men around the ring. Even caught a diving to the floor Dean Ambrose and delivering a belly-to-belly suplex. Roman eats the first F5 but Ambrose broke up the count. Lesnar looked at Ambrose like he was an idiot and Ambrose slapped him across the face. Needless to say, Brock made him pay for that.
Since the F5, Reigns has been out of the ring and Ambrose is taking the punishment. Brock went for an F5 on Ambrose but Reigns hit Lesnar for a long two count. Reigns followed this up with a Superman punch that knocked Lesnar to the floor. While on the floor, Ambrose took down Lesnar with a low blow.
It’s flashback Fastlane time as Ambrose and Reigns powerbomb Lesnar through the announce table. Ambrose is the first to strike and takes the fight to Reigns back in the ring. When Roman and Dean knocked each other out, Brock started to move on the outside. Eventually seeing this, Ambrose and Reigns go back after Lesnar on the outside and put Lesnar thru a SECOND announce table! The “Brothers in Arms” bury the Beast under all of the wreckage of the announce tables and this time it’s Reigns who strikes Ambrose first.
Roman goes on the offense and eventually hits Ambrose with a Superman punch. Reigns went for the Spear but Ambrose countered and hit the Dirty Deeds for a two count.
Ambrose tried for the DDT again but Roman lifted Ambrose up for a Samoan Drop when Lesnar slipped back into the ring and German suplexed both men. Reigns came back with a Spear but Lesnar countered with a Kimura Lock which was broken up when Ambrose hit Lesnar with a chair.
Ambrose then unloaded with the chair on Lesnar AND Reigns. He knocked Lesnar outside the ring with the chair but turned around into another Spear from Reigns and the three count.
Winner: Roman Reigns
A chorus of boos is showering Reigns as he celebrates but hell that was a good match. I wish it was Reigns who unloaded with the chair though. Triple H’s music hit after the WrestleMania pyro goes off and the champion walks into the ring. The two men circled one another and posed under the WrestleMania sign to end the night.
Tags: AJ Styles, Alberto Del Rio, Becky Lynch, Brie Bella, Brock Lesnar, charlotte, Chris Jericho, dean ambrose, Divas Championship, Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental Championship, Kalisto, Kane, Kevin Owens, naomi, Ric Flair, Roman Reigns, ryback, sasha banks, tamina, the big show, The Wyatt Family, United States Championship, wrestlemania 32, wwe championship