Now that the groundwork has been laid and the Fuller House family is situated, it’s time to start arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. By that I mean this slowly sinking disaster is getting into the details and “hilarious” hijinks of what the new arrangements for this cobbled together family will look like. In today’s episode, Kimmy and her daughter, Ramona, are moving in causing Jackson, DJ’s oldest son, to revolt. What ensues is… you know, mild hijinks.
Here are some thoughts.
1. Many of the “jokes” on this show are just characters being thick
When Kimmy and Ramona first arrive at the “Fuller House,” Kimmy tells Ramona that DJ is her godmother. Ramona lights up and says, “Really? So, like, three wishes and everything?” Cue the audience laughing uproariously. That’s not particularly funny (none of this is, really), but it’s even less funny considering that asking that sort of question is borderline pathologically stupid. Ramona seems rather put together in all other aspects. Why would she earnestly ask such a patently stupid question? It’s something that happens all the time on this show. Characters who are otherwise depicted as competent and possessing at least a modicum of human intelligence are constantly saying things that are righteously stupid for an easy laugh. It is one of the many examples of the lazy writing on the show. I’m already sick of it.
2. Oh, good, a race joke
When Kimmy is trying to convince Ramona how much fun it will be to move in with the family, she responds by saying they’re “too white.” And then goes on to describe them as “albino polar bears in a snowstorm drinking milk watching Frozen.” That’s about as edgy as this show gets, by the way. Ramona is half hispanic (Kimmy’s ex-husband is of an indeterminate latino background), which makes this statement a little bizarre. She’s basically saying she doesn’t want to live in that house because the family is too white. That seems like a pretty intense reason not to want to live with people.
3. The idea is that Kimmy and Ramona are moving in to help DJ. This is not helping.
The whole premise is that DJ needs help raising her three boys. So Steph has decided to stay, and Kimmy and Ramona are moving in to help. However, the very first decision made is that Jackson is going to have to give up his room and move in with Jackson so that Ramona gets her own room. Forgetting for a moment that this is the exact plot of an episode of Full House (they even mention it!), that’s a pretty shitty thing to do to Jackson. I thought the whole idea was that everyone moving in was going to make the family’s life easier. But the first order of business is to take away the privacy of a preteen so a possibly racist jerk of a teenage girl can take his room!? No wonder Jackson tries to run away.
4. Max is sweet, though
Endlessly precocious and always upbeat, Max is a lovely presence. He seems to be the only character who is never willfully stupid (and he’s only seven!). His enthusiasm and clear love for his older brother is kind of nice, and a good break from the endless dribble coming out of everyone else’s mouth.
5. Kimmy and Steph are kind of awful
DJ made a cake for Jackson and Max as a way to try to “sweeten” their new living situation. But when DJ comes back downstairs, Kimmy and Steph have eaten all but one sliver of the cake. “That was supposed to be for the boys!” DJ yells at them. “Oh we know,” Kimmy replies. “That’s why we left them a piece.” She then holds up a minuscule piece of cake. What the fuck is wrong with these people? They are adults. They knew the cake wasn’t for them, but for children going through a potentially rough transition. But they ate it anyway. And we’re supposed to laugh at that? Oh yes, ha ha, very funny, these people as ASSHOLES.
6. What was that weird dig at Canadians?
Kimmy wants to do a “hands in” chant for “team DJ.” She puts her hand in and starts counting, then Steph stops her to ask “are going on “team steph” or on “3”?” “On three!” says Kimmy. “Who goes on 4? What are we, Canadian?”
What is that even referencing? Why do we have to drag Canada into this? AND WHY IS THAT A JOKE?!
7. That baby is left alone WAY to often
The baby appears in maybe two scenes of an episode with upwards of twelve scenes. Many of those scenes feature everyone living in the house. Except for that friggin’ baby. All I can think about when I see them all in the same room is that poor baby just sitting in his crib, waiting for someone to change his diaper.
8. Thank God for John Stamos
He’s only in a couple scenes, but his presence is always welcome. The script might be garbage, but he’s a pro at turning garbage into slightly charming nonsense. Even watching him sing “Hunk-a, Hunk-a Burning love” ad nauseum isn’t so terrible. Too bad he’s just a guest star.
9. Steph talks through the baby’s diaper…
Yep. Even when that poor baby gets his diaper changed, he still has to endure the unstoppable idiocy of Steph talking through what might be a slowly filling diaper instead of just opening it back up and talking on it like a normal god damn human being. What universe do these people live in?
10. Also Kimmy and Steph are terrible caregivers
Jackson manages to escape while under their care and they don’t notice. Not until uncle Jessie brings him back do they realize he’s missing. This does not bode well for their future caregiving. Again, these people are grade-A morons.
Check out our review for the series premiere below!
Fuller House – Our Very First Show, Again
Tags: Full House, Fuller House, John Stamos, Netflix, Netflix Original