Here are my thoughts for the March 21st 2016 Raw!
1. Kicking off with Owens vs Styles is a good way to start Raw, particularly if you totally skip the Steph / Reigns segment like I did. The Owens frog splash was fun, although I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Kevin Steen hit a shooting star press, so KO’s still got room to grow.
2. Well paced, hard hitting match between the indie veterans, proving once again how fundamentally stupid Baron Corbin’s anti-indie persona is. He’ll probably be on Raw before we know it…
3. Sami Zayn challenging Owens for the IC title at Wrestlemania is awesome, which is exactly the opposite of Braun Strowman vs Dean Ambrose.
4. Hey, it’s Terry Funk, and he’s as passionately incoherent as ever! He gives Ambrose a chainsaw, which is admittedly pretty awesome. Next up we recap the Shane / Vince feud and Taker’s history at Mania and experience in the Cell. Still seems like a ridiculous match.
5. New Day do their thing, and then we get Big E vs Rusev. Not actively terrible, but nothing remarkable either. You’re starting to lose me, Raw. There is a new season of Daredevil to be watched…
6. Big Show vs The Social Rejects? Fast f’n forward… but wait! Stan Hansen is being inducted into the WWE hall of fame, which seems fair enough from what I know about the guy.
7. Jericho looks bored to be wrestling Fandango, and I am bored to be watching it. Inevitable AJ interference does not get Fandango the win, because Fandango sucks.
8. What the hell am I watching? Random wrestlers brawl to compete for the IC title, which almost nobody has cared about in 20 years. Okay then… Reigns attacks a car, because he clearly doesn’t remember what happened to Goldberg when he tried the same thing.
9. Decent match between Charlotte and Natalya, although Nattie really doesn’t seem like a genuine contender for the title. Bubba vs R-Truth really has nothing to interest me, and I literally couldn’t care less when the Usos eventually run in.
10. Vince talks, Ambrose wrestles a bean bag chair with a beard. I fast forward to the end and look forward to the next exciting episode of Raw. Wait, no I don’t…
