1. We kick off with Chris Jericho and the highlight reel, and he eulogizes Ambrose’s plant for 10 minutes until Big Cass comes out with a message. He has arrived, and Jericho is SAWFT!
2. Next up we’ve got Dolph Ziggler against Baron Corbin, out for revenge because he lost a match or something. Despite Dolph working hard to make him look good, Corbin is still boring as hell in the ring. Corbin gets the win with the end of days, and JBL calls this the start of the Corbin era. I f**king hope not.
3. And now it’s Fandango vs R Truth in a match I’m supposed to care about because they’re involved in a comedy tag program with Goldust and Tyler Breeze. Nope, not gonna happen.
5. Women’s champ Charlotte takes on Paige, who has been dealing with the results of speaking her mind recently. Doesn’t she know that WWE doesn’t like women with well thought out opinions? After a decent match and the absolutely unnecessary appearance of Ric Flair, Paige picks up the win with a roll up. Let’s hope this signals her return to Vince’s good graces.
6. Now it’s time for The Miz to take on Sami Zayn, with Cesaro watching from the back and drinking coffee Zayn actually looks dominant for the first time since moving up to the main roster, and even picks up the win with the helluva kick. Rare credit to the Raw writers for not overbooking this match.
7. Kalisto takes on Rusev, which is okay, and then it’s time for the gamers favorite six man elimination tag with the Bullet Club taking on Reigns and the Usos. Odd that this isn’t the main event, but anyway… Good match with solid in ring action from all involved, particularly Karl Anderson who can’t help taunting Reigns, which is pretty funny. To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Roman overcomes the odds and finishes the match standing tall with the title.
8. Next up Zach Ryder takes on Kevin Owens, which ends up being a far more even contest than I expected. Unsurprising that KO picked up the win, but definitely surprising how much offense Ryder got in along the way. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – Kevin Owens is one of the best both in the ring and on the mic.
9. Our penultimate match is the Dudleys vs New Day, which is about as you would expect until the interference of The Vaudvillains, who beat down New Day after giving the Dudleys the distraction win.
10. Our main event is Chris Jericho vs Big Cass, and I can’t believe we’re seeing Colin Cassidy in the main event of Raw in 2016. And of course we don’t, as the match is disrupted by Dean Ambrose and his jacket destroying shenanigans. SAWFT…
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