1. It’s the final episode of Raw before Extreme Rules, and we kick off with AJ Styles on the mic. Before too long Roman comes out to join the party, and I get the impression that we’re going to have a lot of talking tonight.
2. The first match of the night is Sami Zayn vs Cesaro, and we have both Kevin Owens and the Miz on commentary. About three minutes into a potentially awesome match it all falls apart when Owens and Miz hit the ring, so Shane comes out to make it a tag match.
3. Putting Zayn and Owens together is a stroke of genius, and the banter between them makes three hours of Raw almost worth it. After some fun tag action Zayn pins Miz and Owens takes him out from behind. At this point this is my most anticipated match at Extreme Rules.
4. The weeks of promos finally pay off with the debut of the Shining Stars. Primo & Epico bring flowers to the ring, which isn’t the most threatening prop I’ve ever seen. They’re facing a pair of jobbers who don’t even get an intro, and it’s interesting to see Primo and Epico working a different style. Gone are the Lucha stylings of Los Matadores, replaced by a harder hitting style. I’m vaguely interested to see what they can do against a decent tag team.
5. Next up we’ve got Chris Jericho demanding an apology from Dean Ambrose for destroying his tacky jacket. Ambrose reveals that they’ll be wrestling inside a steel cage with a straight jacket and fire extinguisher (among other things) suspended above the ring, which is certainly one way to minimize the possibly of blood at an ‘extreme’ event.
6. Now it’s time for Dana Brooke to take on Becky Lynch, and is it just me or is Dana looking a little more busty than her NXT days? Good match from both competitors with Dana stealing the win with a roll up.
7. To be honest the Coach Backlund/Darren Young and Golden Truth segments go by at 30x speed, and the subsequent match only slightly slower. Tyler Breeze and Fandango pick up the win – hopefully their family members care.
8. New Day do their thing before the world turns black & white and they get beaten down by the Vaudvillains, so that was something. And… now it’s the Usos, accompanied by their far more successful cousin, facing The Club without bullets. To be honest it felt like both teams were holding back, but the match still worked due to the hard work of Karl Anderson. While the Usos are talented in the ring, their smiley flippy persona really has limited appeal for those older than 12. Post match brawl ends with Styles hitting Reigns with a soft Styles Clash on a chair. EXTREME!!!!
9. For the second week in a row, Big Cass is one step away from main eventing Raw, even if he does have to face the Dudley Boys for the privilege. Cass pins D-Von after a virtual squash, proving once again that a bit of talent and a being 7 feet tall is all you need to succeed in WWE.
10. Oh, now it’s Kalisto facing Alberto Del Rio, and I honestly had forgotten that Del Rio still worked for WWE. Not a terrible match, but I can’t help thinking how much better it could have been in Lucha Underground. Del Rio wins thanks to Rusev interference, and I honestly don’t give a crap about either of these guys.
Bonus 11th Thought: Contract signings suck. F**k everyone involved with this segment. Except Natalya, who is awesome. If I had to rate my interest in Extreme Rules, it would be 6/10.
