15 Choices For Raw General Manager
It’s coming… The much anticipated draft on the live episode of Smackdown will transform the current WWE landscape and send it scuttling back to a simulacrum of 2002. The roster is bursting with talent so it seems relatively prudent to give a wider range of Superstars the air time they deserve. While there are plenty of articles that will deal with fantasy drafting and projected booking, I feel it’s important to weigh up the options of who will be in charge of the respective brands. WWE has taken a lighthearted look at authority figures from the past, with Kane, John Laurinaitis, Teddy Long and Vicky Guerrero pleading their cases to the McMahons on recent programming. However, there have been some glaring, and not so glaring, exclusions to the list of former managers who we should certainly consider.
Eric Bischoff
Let’s face it, the man has the experience and pedigree. He has the 2nd longest combined reign of any General Manager, surpassed only by Teddy Long, which in itself is a head scratcher. It’s a slight surprise he hasn’t been one of the faces to make a Raw cameo in the lead up to the Draft, but there’s still time for the charismatic former WCW President to plead his very valid case.
Anonymous Raw GM
How can we ever forget the time a laptop controlled Raw? What a blissfully accurate yet presumably inadvertent metaphor for the YouTube generation. We endured Michael Cole’s heat generator for over a year, and purely based on time in the role, that squirm inducing incoming message sound has an edge over the potential competition. A brief cameo in 2014 received a baffling pop, but a full time return would likely lead to a legion of bald men across the globe after being involuntarily forced to rip their own hair out.
Hornswoggle
See Above.
William Regal
Regal’s credentials are perhaps the strongest of anyone on the list, and yet there are few who’ve even contemplated his involvement. Aside from being a multi-time champion and revered technician inside the ring, The Blackpool native has been Commissioner and General Manager of Raw, a commentator, a trainer, NXT General Manager, holds a valued role in recruitment and was even a Goodwill Ambassador. He is also owner of the most expressive face in professional wrestling history. The fact he even has a face places him in better stead than the Anonymous Raw GM.
Mike Adamle
Adamle’s time as a mistake ridden WWE employee is best left forgotten, so kudos to to the company for not even breathing his name since his 2008 departure. I’m sorry I even brought it up.
Jonathan Coachman
We’ve seen The Coach twice in 2016 which is twice more than we’ve seen him in the past 8 years. He’s found a welcome role with ESPN’s SportCenter, but long before that The Coach was an Executive Assistant and Interim GM on WWE’s flagship show. If Brock Lesnar can work for UFC and WWE simultaneously, there’s no reason The Coach couldn’t do the same. Because they draw similarly. Sure.
Donald Trump
The toupee laden moron did technically own the Raw franchise for a week in 2009. However, if he were to sully my screen on a Monday or Tuesday night, I’d be forced to cancel my Network subscription and burn all of my TVs.
AJ Lee
It’d be delightful to see the three time Diva’s Champion skip down the ramp again. Other than Donald Chump, it would probably be the most shocking choice considering her union with CM Punk. Her tenure was renowned for numerous dalliances with male superstars, with Punk, Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Dolph Ziggler on the receiving end of her affections, but abusing your position of power is pretty much the sole qualification for an authority role in WWE.
Brad Maddox
Somehow, after assisting Vicky Guerrero as Managing Supervisor, Brad Maddox was Raw General Manager for an alarming 10 months. That’s shocking. If someone would’ve asked me, I would’ve said he’d only made background appearances akin to Zack Ryder’s cameos in between nonchalant pushes. Can you name one memorable moment in 10 months at the helm? That’s not rhetorical.
Bret Hart
General Manager for just one week, the Hitman couldn’t exactly claim to be the Best There Was… Still, he beats Maddox, hands down.
Steve Austin
*Glass breaks*. The only ever Sheriff of Raw, The Texas Rattlesnake was also Co-GM for 6 months. Granted, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to take a management role if you’re swigging beer at ever opportunity, but it worked for John Adams, so…
Mick Foley
Like Stone Cold, Mrs Foley’s Baby Boy was a Co-GM alongside Eric Bischoff, possibly suggesting that Bischoff was a brazen slacker. The Hardcore Legend was also the Commissioner in the latter part of 2000 and in many ways, Foley is the perfect person for the job. Mankind could manage Raw, Dude Love could take charge of Smackdown and Cactus Jack would handle NXT. Done.
Shawn Michaels
The Heartbreak Kid relinquished his role as Commissioner over 15 years ago, so he may be a little out of practice, but hell, he held the position for a year and half having initially assumed his in ring career was over. Michaels would make a welcome change to proceedings, but doesn’t exactly fit in with the New Era. Come to think of it, neither does any other option.
Sergeant Slaughter
If we completely ignore the New Era theory to the Nth degree, Sergeant Slaughter was Commissioner for a year and is no stranger to exerting his authority. He’s a Sergeant for Christ’s sake.
Ric Flair
Flair was owner of the company as 2001 turned into 2002 and is newly freed up after being let go by his own daughter, Charlotte. If The Nature Boy was to be considered, you’d have to assume the crew would be livid. Mopping up Flair’s tears after each show is like stemming the flow of the Mississippi.
