Oh. My. Pentagon. Season 3 is finally here! As always, yours truly is here to deliver.
So far, only one matchup has been announced on social media – Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark!
https://www.facebook.com/LuchaUnderground/photos/a.856256081066251.1073741828.843366365688556/1334119346613253/?type=3
Check back here at 8 pm ET to watch the season premiere episode! In the meantime, you can watch the final hours of Ultima Lucha Dos currently airing on El Rey Network! You can also read the Ultimate Season 3 Preview Guide and watch the season’s trailer! (Although I’m sure you’ve seen the latter millions of times already.)
Tonight’s Twitter buzz!
Im feline quite excited, @LuchaElRey is gonna be paw-some ! Let the celebration begin !! #LuchaUnderground is back pic.twitter.com/hEFhrlERGk
— M@ (@MLBMattStriker) September 7, 2016
#Lego Dario Cueto prepares the temple for #LuchaUnderground season 3 😉 @LuchaElRey pic.twitter.com/wjHvOJdefY
— Astrid (@assui88) September 7, 2016
The wait is over! Grab your #SonOfHavoc cookies/get ready for the return of wrestling's hottest hr #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/jsVyi4qXoP
— matt cross /// (@MDoggMattCross) September 7, 2016
Worldwide Underground’s Taya also did an AMA on reddit earlier today! You can check it out below.
https://twitter.com/rSquaredCircle/status/773173630817533953
Seeya in a bit!
Less than FIVE minutes, guys!
5
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 7, 2016
IT’S TIME! Prepare your Depends.
Dario Cueto does pull-ups in his cell!
El Jefe takes upper body strength very seriously these days. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/PB940k937q
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
A policeman comes. “You must have friends in high places.” He opens his cell. “You have no idea,” says Dario. He is being released. He gets the belongings he left with – cash, cell phone, gold watch, and a giant key.
Looks like Dario has good taste in accessories
( •_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
to murder.
(⌐■_■)
YYYEEEAAAAHHHH #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/vjMJp9tLm9— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
The surveillance captures El Jefe walking away from the prison. His ride arrives. He gets in. “So, that’s that?” Yep, charges are dropped, says a suitclad. A mysterious figure tells Dario not to waste his time again. The Temple is back in business.
::GULP:: – @RealDarioCueto #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/OsGxdeuY4l
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
We’re now in the Temple! The Chimpz are in the balcony. Vampiro is well-rested and recovered. He makes it clear that he’s nobody’s master and his only job is the one by Matt Striker.
Dario Cueto has the mic! “Welcome back.” He has some exciting news – but first, he wants to announce an exciting main event – the one announced earlier today: Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark! He reminds the Believers that Pentagon Dark tried to break his arm during Ultima Lucha Dos. Matanza is chomping at the bit with his title in the corner of the ring. He wants some, too. He’s the best of the best and no one can stop him, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t try, right? Dario introduces his new concept… Dario’s Dial of Doom!
Who needs Wheel of Fortune when you’ve got DARIO’S DIAL OF DOOM! #LuchaUnderground #DariosDialOfDoom pic.twitter.com/K4U5Lpu8qv
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He spins the wheel and the name it lands on gets a match with Matanza! Everyone who has never faced Matanza one-on-one before is eligible for a place on the Dial of Doom.
He spins the wheel! Who’s it gonna be?!
SON OF HAVOC!
Come on! Big money, big money! No whammy, no whammy… STOP! #LuchaUnderground #DariosDialOfDoom pic.twitter.com/oTcCy7r2Ce
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
OMG IT’S HAPPENING NOW!
Son of Havoc, come on down! You’re the next contestant on #LuchaUnderground! pic.twitter.com/nsuogFPqDQ
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Alright everybody… all together now… RING THE BELLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/FBokeEZJzF
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Lucha Underground Championship Match: “The Monster” Matanza Cueto (c) vs. Son of Havoc!
Havoc flies as Matanza avoids! Havoc is all over the place! He’s down!
Not in Matanza’s house, you don’t. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/bJ7O92YvYY
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Matanza tosses him into the corner! Havoc strikes him! He climbs the turnbuckles, jumps, avoids, runs the ropes, he’s hit by Matanza! He’s down and sells the pain. He climbs the turnbuckle for support. Believers cheer for him.
Matanza misses Havoc. He’s on the apron now! The crowd cheers. He lands on Matanza’s sensitive area!
We salute Son of Havoc’s core strength! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/wP7K9gu7N1
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He puts the Champion back in the ring. He’s on the turnbuckles. Havoc misses. Matanza is hit! Super skills from Havoc! Cover, kick out by Matanza!
Son of Havoc finally gets some solid offense, but it’s not enough to keep the monster down! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/So39jdduRs
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Havoc is down. Matanza picks him up and tosses him yet again! He drags Havoc. Maintains control by his beard.
Son of Havoc bristles at Matanza’s beard based offense! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/4dXLcx4dQ6
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He slams Havoc on the Aztec seal. Moonsault. Cover! Hovac escapes.
Dario coaches his brother ringside. Havoc’s in the corner, fighting back, but he’s down. Back elbow by Matanza. Havoc, on the turnbuckles, goes for the DDT but Matanza is too much. He puts Havoc over the ropes, but Havoc’s got control! They’re both out of the ring, he jumps from the ropes, he lands!
OK. NOW #LuchaUnderground is officially back. pic.twitter.com/w28WxkhWTF
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He puts Matanza back in the ring as the fans scream for Son of Havoc. Moonsault by Havoc! Cover! It’s not enough!
But no! Havoc has Matanza in the submission!
The Man From The Open Road is relentless! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/dCh9EycwY2
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Matanza does everything to escape the pressure! Striker talks about UFC too fast to watch Matanza escape, but Havoc lifts him! His brute strength is a match for the current Champion! Cover… Kick out by Matanza yet again!
Havoc climbs the turnbuckles, perches, and Matanza catches up. Havoc pushes Matanza! Another leap from the heavens and cover!
Son of Havoc nails Mantanza with a picture perfect Shooting Star Press, but it still isn’t enough! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/yh8vRsaumU
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
1, 2… No! Still not enough to get a win over the Champ! He gets the Believers behind him yet again, but is it enough?
He rises to his feet on the apron, and so does Matanza! Springboard by Havoc, Matanza gets out of the way, he slams Havoc! Cover! 1, 2, 3!
Son of Havoc succumbs to The Wrath of the Gods! The Monster Matanza Cueto remains #LuchaUnderground Champion! pic.twitter.com/l9X373R0CX
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Winner and still your Lucha Underground Champion: “The Monster” Matanza Cueto!
Nobody is happy and yet, the energy still remains from that moment where the man from the open road came so close…
For now, let’s take a commercial break!
We’re back!
In Dario’s office, the Worldwide Underground pays El Jefe a visit.
https://twitter.com/UnderhookDDT/status/773677996246835200
Mundo wants a title shot. He’s sick of waiting. He reminds Mundo that the last time he was in the ring, he lost the Trios titles. To Angelico. But they took care of him.
We get a flashback to the night of Ultima Lucha Dos. The Worldwide Underground leaves Angelico after beating him to a pulp, but Mundo tells them to wait. He slams the car’s trunk lid on him repeatedly.
.@AngelicoAAA cost the #WorldwideUnderground the Trios Titles, and he paid dearly for it. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/3TQEtXgV7y
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Dario’s amused – he gives Taya a title shot for the Gift of the Gods Championship with Sexy Star.
Back in the Temple ring, Ivelisse has the mic! Ivelisse realizes that she wants her first Ultima Lucha win… And how much she wants to crush Catrina’s skill. She wants Catrina one-on-one at ULTIMA LUCHA TRES! I CALLED IT, GUYS!
Catrina appears! “Bring it, bitch!” IT IS SET! Ivelisse vs. Catrina at Ultima Lucha Tres!
It’s official! @RealIvelisse vs Catrina is set for #UltimaLuchaTres! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/1jOQ9NZXCZ
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Taya vs. Sexy Star is next, after this commercial break!
We’re back! Time for…
Gift of the Gods Championship Match: Taya Valkyrie vs. Sexy Star (c)
The bell is rung! They lock hands.
It’s always a good idea to stretch before a match, but during works too. #LuchaUnderground @TheTayaValkyrie pic.twitter.com/2ClAZUe6Iv
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Sexy is in pain. Round and round… Taya goes down. The From Dusk Til Dawn cast is seen in the audience! Taya has Sexy around the neck, now. Sexy slowly gets up. Taya goes down! Lateral press. Leg sweep. Taya ducks a clothesline. Ducks a back elbow. Sexy has met her match.
They stare down above the Aztec Seal. Sexy slaps Taya.
Don’t forget, you only get what you give. #LuchaUnderground @TheTayaValkyrie #SexyStar pic.twitter.com/9V8TIQQylP
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
She delivers back. Leapfrog by Taya, Taya clotheslines Sexy! She shakes her relentlessly while she’s down. Taya’s got control. She’s cornered Sexy. The ref makes her cut it out. Wera loca! Sexy is cornered. Double knees by Taya but misses! Cover by Taya.
.@TheTayaValkyrie unleashes her knees on #SexyStar, but the #GiftOfTheGods Champion escapes! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/cEk6mR0Lm1
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
She used Sexy’s heel, notes Vampiro. Sexy is down. Taya climbs the turnbuckles. She leaps – misses!
.@TheTayaValkyrie comes off the turnbuckle, but #SexyStar evades and gives her a boot to the jaw! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/HfKGIzD6lO
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Sexy makes a comeback! Clothesline after clothesline! Taya leaves the ring and Sexy follows! She leaps into Taya. No time for breaks.
#SexyStar takes this match to The Temple floor! #LuchaUnderground @TheTayaValkyrie pic.twitter.com/dxPCs4R47d
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Cover by Sexy, kick out. Taya bats her fake eyelashes. She catches Sexy from her leap! Suplex!
Here comes the Worldwide Underground! Mundo has Sexy, but Taya double knees him!
#SexyStar escapes Johnny Mundo’s grasp just in time for @TheTayaValkyrie to take him to #Slamtown! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/BXKnL9Tty8
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Sexy cashes in on this distraction and covers Taya! 1, 2, 3!
#SexyStar takes advantage and rolls up @TheTayaValkyrie to retain the #GiftOfTheGods Championship! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/oEDBci9QIM
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Winner and still your Gift of the Gods Champion: Sexy Star!
But it’s not over!
The #WorldwideUnderground aren’t going to take this lying down! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/ZjIaH2MoHS
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Mundo grabs Sexy so Taya can get her revenge, but the Super Friends & Trios Champs – Drago, Fenix, and Aerostar – brawl with the entire Worldwide Underground! Amazing!
The Trios Champs scare the #WorldwideUnderground away! They live to fight another day! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/2pWuaFK9Ro
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
The Worldwide Underground leaves with their tails between their legs as Taya looks on at Sexy Star.
Time for another commerical break!
We’re back in El Jefe’s office. He’s on the phone. Marty “The Moth” enters! “I’ll call you back,” says the Proprietor. Marty is so glad he’s back – no homo. Apparently, Marty was gossiping about El Jefe’s “unfortunate vacation.” It won’t happen again. He just wants to talk business. And business is what he gets… Get ready for A Weapons of Mass Destruction Match between Marty “The Moth” Martinez and Killshot!
NEXT WEEK: Marty The Moth & Killshot go nuclear in #LuchaUnderground’s first ever WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION MATCH! pic.twitter.com/GOGcs6G5l7
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Marty the Moth. The luchador Joker.
Why so serious, @RealDarioCueto? #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/PHl6dTtPxS
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
And now, it’s time for…
The Main Event: Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark!
After this commercial break! Stay tuned.
The King of Lucha Libre, @ReyMysterio has returned to the #LuchaUnderground Temple! pic.twitter.com/a7uyqIwTay
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
The Breaker of Bones, #PentagonDark is back! #LuchaUnderground #CeroMiedo #0M pic.twitter.com/urb9x5kKmz
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
We’re back! LET’S GO.
The Believers cheer for both as the bell rings. Pentagon shoves El Rey!
Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be? @ReyMysterio #PentagonDark #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/HI6oniornf
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He sends Pentagon down! Leapfrog! Dodges! Electric chair with Rey on top! Rey leaps out of the ring onto Pentagon!
.@ReyMysterio takes this match over the top! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/FmvkkTlYwG
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He sends him back in! Pentagon is no more on his feet and Rey knocks him back down! Cover by Rey, not enough! Wristlocks – Pentagon kicks Rey! It echoes throughout the Temple. Rey is down!
“Here catch!” – #PentagonDark, to nobody. #LuchaUnderground @ReyMysterio pic.twitter.com/vEvP6M8C8g
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Cero miedo – he leaps onto Rey, cover! Marty Elias is slow as ever and only gets to 2 and a half until Rey kicks out. But it doesn’t matter because these two just can’t stop!
Pentagon kisses the air and chops El Rey!
Even without sound you can hear this chop. #LuchaUnderground #CeroMiedo #PentagonDark @ReyMysterio pic.twitter.com/v82cmpm4PM
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
He does the walk of shame across the ring, clutching his chest, leaning on the ropes, but they run the ropes with dodges and leapfrogs! A clothesline and more craziness later, cover! Kick out by Rey! Pentagon KICKS Rey once again! RSVP for your party, says Striker. Pentagon climbs the turnbuckles as Rey is on the apron, and Rey strikes him. They’re both up!
.@ReyMysterio takes #PentagonDark off the turnbuckle, but it’s not enough to keep Pentagon down! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/7zugOx8Hh8
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
REY SENDS DOWN PENTAGON! Cover, kick out by Pentagon! They run the ropes. Ducking clotheslines, they know each other so well and they both slide out of the ring! Standing moonsault by Rey, Pentagon catches him, but with momentum, Rey sends him OUT!
#PentagonDark gets the upper hand, but @ReyMysterio reverses beautifully! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/KYvKXMRUR1
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Vampiro notes how he was in the same situation in a match with him years ago – amazing.
They’re back in the ring! Rey falls onto Pentagon Dark, cover, kick out by Pentagon!
TIMMMMMMMMBERRRRRR! #LuchaUnderground @ReyMysterio #PentagonDark pic.twitter.com/mwup1R9BhT
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Modified powerbomb by Pentagon! COVER! HE KICKS OUT! HOW?!
#PentagonDark can’t seal the deal! @ReyMysterio kicks out and the match continues! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/BiJ7IOEX5J
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Pentagon has Rey! He goes for a move – but Rey counters! He builds more momentum – 619?! – no! Pentagon is BACK! He lifts Rey with power – slam! Cover, kick out by Rey!
The Believers cheer for Pentagon as he leaves the ring and approaches Vampiro.
#PentagonDark has a few choice words for @Vampiro_Vampiro. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/CQ31iDLmJQ
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
The Believers cheer for Vampiro as he watches Pentagon in disbelief. Vampiro tells Striker he has to leave.
Rey has momentum now – 619! We get a shot of Vampiro leaving the Temple. Sunset flip by Rey! Cover! 1, 2, 3…
.@ReyMysterio puts #PentagonDark out to pasture! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/dsWTvmKbHb
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
Your winner is: Rey Mysterio, Jr.!
But it’s not over here, either! Pentagon has control over Rey! He’s about to break his arm! The arm of an icon! The arm of El Rey himself! BUT NO!
Losing won’t stop #PentagonDark from breaking @ReyMysterio’s arm… but El Dragon Azteca Jr. will! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/PKB2O87kLD
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
HERE IS DRAGON AZTECA, JR.! Pentagon leaves and collects his support from the Believers before he leaves!
Backstage is Prince Puma, in the locker room. He reflects upon his Ultima Lucha Dos opponent, El Rey. Vampiro approaches him: “I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there. Maybe you need some guidance.”
Prince Puma could learn a thing or two from @Vampiro_Vampiro. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/VF5FNyBKn8
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 8, 2016
But Puma doesn’t need anything – especially not from him. But Vampiro says he hasn’t been the same since Mil Muertes. If Prince Puma wants to be the man again… Well, Prince Puma is surprised he’s not outright asking him to take out Pentagon for him. But nah – this is about Prince Puma, and Prince Puma himself…
What did you think, Believers? I missed those tingles and chills during these amazing matches. Sound off in the comments!