Welcome to the Heel Report, a weekly breakdown of the best heels in professional wrestling right now. Each week the heels will be ranked out of ten and then those numbers will go on to form the rolling chart that continues each week. This is a place to evaluate and praise the ‘baddies’ of wrestling in their efforts to make us boo them mercilessly so let’s show them some love and get on with the report!
Weekly Top Ten:
10: Bobby Roode
Another glorious win this week before being attacked by Tye Dillinger, Roode is so ready for the main roster already it’s not even funny.
9: Bo Dallas
You have to feel bad for Curtis Axel, even in a lower card angle he couldn’t get the win in his hometown. Whatever happened to Axelmania? Now there was something to Bo-leave in.
8: Bobby Lashley
I’m still not really sure what TNA is doing with Lashley right now. I was never too big a fan of him as champion, he was given way too much dominance, but now he doesn’t even have the title, so what was it all for? I don’t know if I even care.
7: Sanity
There is so much that can be done with this group. I’m almost tempted to say that they should give little or no explanation for the motivations behind these psychopaths, or at least not for a long time. There is something appealing about a group of nut jobs who just turn up, cause havoc, and then disappear again, just ask the Shield and the early Wyatts, and sure to a lesser extent the Aces & 8s.
6: AJ Styles
This whole James Ellsworth thing is pretty insane, it just goes to show that Max Landis was right when he said “sometimes in wrestling if you have enough heart and a weird enough face, you can reach the top of this industry.” I slightly worry that there is a cynical side to this with the t-shirt and whatnot and that it is just one big excuse for Vince McMahon to laugh at the chinless wonder and everyone supporting him while he rakes in some money, confident that the Daniel Bryan phenomena means nothing because he could make an underdog like this every couple of years that the fans will get behind. *See: Zack Ryder. But despite this it is hard to not also think that the whole thing is really cool, because no matter how much the people at the top may be laughing, if they are at all, the guy is legitimately getting to live his dream, and there is something heart-warming about that, even if every other one-time jobber is now kicking themselves that it couldn’t be them. One last point is that everyone is talking about the No-Chin Music, but I think that the fact that Ellsworth was able to escape a Chin-Lock instantly due to his lack of chin is both genius and hilarious, it could really turn into a thing.
5: Carmella
Just like with Styles, I am surprised just how much Nikki Bella is giving back right now. Since returning, she has been making Carmella look so much better than she has any right to look right now. I’m not saying that Carmella doesn’t have any talent or anything, in fact I would definitely say that she is far above Nikki herself at that point in her career, still though she has got the better of the former longest reigning divas champ on nearly every occasion, and it has really helped her with this list.
4: Eli Drake
Is Aaron Rex a bad guy now? When did that happen?! I look forward to seeing Drake every week but the change to the Fact of Life set with the canned audience was a bad move and is just plain annoying. Still though it will be interesting to see just how far he gets in his feud with EC3, besides Carter himself, Eli is one of the guys I would be excited to see get a chance in WWE on the main roster. Although right now with WWE becoming the real only game in town, besides perhaps Lucha Underground, I am worried there won’t be the space. How would it work if they did actually buy TNA and kept the show on the air?
3: Chris Jericho
The whole ‘List’ thing is going strong, although I don’t think it is advisable for Jericho to put Stroman’s name on the list unless he wants to get into another three-way rivalry with him and Zayn or something. I’ve tried explaining the list to people outside of wrestling and they just can’t get why it is funny, I think it has something to do with the incredulity of such a thing being a threat in an environment when everything is usually handled with violence. As always in wrestling there is a lot going on behind the scenes to make something like this have the appeal it does, too much to unpack right here. But I will say that I know I like the gimmick and I hope it can continue without jumping the shark with a ‘list on a pole’ match or something.
2: Kevin Owens
Is it better that Owens lost in a glorified two-on-one match than a singles match to Seth Rollins? I’m not sure but it doesn’t bode too well for him going into Hell in a Cell, or at least it wouldn’t by conventional logic. As we all know, wrestling logic works a bit differently, in this case Rollins going in with all the momentum indicates that he is getting screwed over on Sunday, and I hope he does. While I am glad Owens is champion I still don’t feel like his reign has had enough to it to really call it a success yet. He needs more, and I don’t know what that mythical ‘more’ is, but he needs it, and I hope he gets it in the near future because he definitely has the chops to deliver if they ever actually give someone the show to rest on their shoulders again.
1: Maria & Mike Bennett
These two were all over Impact this week, from running down Allie, which I still think is a strange off-shoot storyline that I wonder if it will ever be delivered upon, to attacking Brandi Rhodes at the end of the show. Maria is somehow in a feud with at least three women at once and she isn’t even champion! Then there is Bennett, who got an easy win but also is involved with several members of the Impact roster. I will say this for TNA, while they are in a shambles financially, they have done a good job with having the main, and lesser, players on their card all interact with each other. The WWE hasn’t been able to do that properly in years and show little sign of it happening any time soon. I don’t really know how long Cody will be around for in TNA, but I hope he actually does become champion at some point because it is almost a crime that in today’s age of titles he does not have at least one major world title to his name.
Rolling Chart – Week Forty One
1st Place: Kevin Owens (290) (-)
2nd Place: Chris Jericho (193) (-)
3rd Place: Maria & Mike Bennett (141) (+1)
4th Place: The Miz & Maryse (138) (-1)
5th Place: Charlotte (127) (-)
6th Place: AJ Styles (116) (-)
7th Place: Matt Hardy (101) (-)
8th Place: Bobby Lashley (87) (-)
9th Place: Seth Rollins (81) (-)
10th Place: The Club (74) (-)
Agree with the rankings? Disagree? Who was your favourite heel of the week? Whatever the case, leave comment down below and come back next week for another dose of heel-ly goodness and for now this is James Wright signing off.
