Impact Wrestling 2/16/17 – Davey vs. Eddie in a Street Fight, Hardys vs. Mexicools in Mexico

We go to Mexico andsee the Hardys go to the arena. A recap airs of Davey attack Eddie last week. Decay comes out for a mixed tag against Moose and Brandi Rhodes. Moose and Steve have zero chemistry. Steve locks on a long chinlock here in the opener. Brandi chops away at Rosemary and hits a missile dropkick off the second rope. Moose and Mini-Moose hit a series of punches and Steve gets beat. Moose tells her that if anyone messes with her, he’s got her back.

We get a rundown of Davey’s attack and then Eddie comes down to emote. He is not good at that. Angelina asks Eddie where he was when Davey was hurt and she was nine months pregnant. He didn’t visit them – which at least gives the heels some justification. She brings out “The American Wolf” Davey Richards who yells at Eddie about him being nothing until he made the team. They begin to brawl and are separated – good stuff.

Bennett hosts a bachelor party for Braxton. The DCC cuts an intense promo, which is okay except for Kingston making silly faces. We go back to Mexico with side-by-side footage of the Hardys in The Crash. We get an invite graphic for the wedding of Laurel and Braxton next week – which at least they’re not devoting TOO much time to hype up since no one on Earth, including the people in it, can possibly care.

Allie shows a wacky Valentine’s Day setup for LVN’s party. Maria insults Allie and tells her that LVN is marrying her crush Braxton. Kingston comes out to face Jesse Godderz. Yes, this is a real match on global TV. They have a dreadful match full of Kingston making silly faces, gesturing like he’s a heel in the ’70s and then losing to a springboard…I think it was supposed to be a lariat, but it’s just a little head bonking with the fist. The DCC goes to attack, but Jesse leaves.

Braxton wants to leave his party, so Mike has his drunk friend dive on another one. This has been a dreadful show for the most part and holy crap does this not help it. Long recap of the DCC beating up Tyrus from last week. Allie’s decorations are insulted and Maria uses a noise blower in her face. Sienna begs to start drinking. Well, I can get behind that.

Tyrus brings us to The Fact of Life. Eli insults Tyrus, so he mans up and threatens to kick his ass. Back in Mexico, Konnan meets with a stooge and sees the Hardys. Konnan tells them to wrestle, and then has his stooge to make bootleg merch of them so they can sell it quickly. Vanguard 1 hits on hot chicks. More crap with Maria insulting Allie and then putting cake on her nose. Vanguard 1 hits on more women and the Hardys win with a twist and Swanton combo. The Hardys use V1 to teleport back to the compound and Matt tells The Scribe Brad Stutts to note that they will be the greatest team in all of space and time. They will now travel to CWF Mid-Atlantic next week.

Brooke cuts a promo on Maria and wanting to shut her up. Sienna comes out with Maria, in booty shorts to face Brooke. They start with a wacky deja vu headscissors. Josh hypes up the ShopTNA Valentine’s day sale and Maria chokes Brooke. Brooke slips out of the AK47 and hits a really wonky schoolgirl to win. Back at the bachelor party, one of the guys wants to watch porn. Well, they’d improve the writing on this show by hiring porno writers. Mike teases us all with a stripper. Okay then.

Instead of a stripper, we get Eli Drake threatening Tyrus. Lashley comes down and says he loves to hurt people and there isn’t a person alive who can hang with him. Josh Barnett comes down and tells Lashley that being a champion means you have to hold yourself to a high standard. Josh challenges him for the World Title next week after snatching him in a quick armbar. Mike passes out with the stripper in his lap and Braxton takes a photo with Mike’s phone and sends it to Maria. Davey and Eddie come out for the main event and chop away at each other outside. Eddie hits a suicide dive and actually goes over the rail. Harsh landing for Eddie, but it could’ve been much worse and luckily, no fans were hurt. Eddie goes to use a chair, but Angelina comes in with one too.

Davey hits Eddie with the chair and makes out with Angelina. Eddie’s wife Alicia comes out, but Angelina forearms her. Alicia gets tied up while Davey hits a conchairto while Pope acts all silly. Angelina counts the fall and the heels celebrate. This stuff is largely good, and we get clips of the Hardys in CWF Mid-Atlantic next week. Maybe a third of the actual show was worth watching here.

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