WWE Raw 3/6/17 Recap – Owens vs. Zayn and Jericho vs. Joe

KO vs. Goldberg recap starts things off. Jericho comes out with his US Title graphic to remind you that he is in fact a champion. Jericho gets a nice pop and demands to know why KO turned on him. KO rambles and Jericho QUIET QUIET QUIETs him and asks why he’d turn on his best friend. KO says Jericho was NEVER HIS BEST FRIEND. Sami was his best friend, and he turned on him too. Jericho was just a tool, and that tool outlived its usefulness when he made a match on his behalf against Goldberg.  Jericho calls the fans the Friends of Jericho – CHEER HIM ON, MAN! KO says he has a Universal Title match whenever he wants, but he wants Jericho’s title – and there’s a huge WM match made and a logical, personal reason to bypass the usual mandatory rematch stip. A mid-ring brawl breaks out and Joe beats up Jericho. Sami makes a save to continue his deal with Joe and the never-ending issues with KO. Awkward chair to the…kinda head by Jericho to KO there.

I smell a holla holla tag…nope. KO vs. Sami. Pop-up powerbomb, but KO wants to hurt him more. Pumphandle neckbreaker hits and then a short-arm pop-powerbomb gets the win. Dominant, but fun. Jericho vs. Joe is made for tonight. This show is already so much more fun and better than the PPV was. Neville vs. Swann is up for the title, with Aries introducing “his package, THE PACKAGE” once again. The fat guy in the aisle giving the thumbs down to Neville is hilarious. Swann gets tossed face-first into the apron, lands on his feet on the floor and then gets tossed into the LED board for an ad break.

Exciting CRUISERWEIGHT POST-BREAK CHINLOCK! Swann sends him outside and hits a standing swanton off the top. Michinoku driver gets 2.5 for Swann. Giant superplex hits for Neville, but Swann rolls to the floor. Ad break time. Huge punch by Swann after the break gives him a chance. Swann has a huge heart according to Aries. That reminds me, I wonder if Jinder will be on the show. Huge kick, but the phoenix splash misses and Neville gets 2. Rings of Saturn crossface gets the win. Aries interviews Neville and gets a huge AUSTIN ARIES chant. Neville says he has no competition, leading to another chant for Aries. Neville tells him he’ll rebreak his orbital socket, so Aries shows off his eye being healed up before being insulted more and landing a mic shot before the roaring elbow!

Enzo and Cass come down and talk about their rematch…why are they getting one? They weren’t the champs coming in. Cesaro and Sheamus told them they’d choke and then we’re told we’ll hear from Goldberg next. Goldberg comes out wearing the Universal Title in his street clothes, and it looks great on him. Goldberg just bowed to each side of the ring – it looks like he knows this will be the last time he’s in the city as an active wrestler. Goldberg says he’ll divulge new information before getting a CM Punk chant and bobbing his head to it.

Heyman comes out and says he did not come alone – for he is the advocate for the challenger for April 2nd, BROCK LESNAR. Brock and Bill staredown mid-ring. Heyman says that Brock will shake his hand as a sign of respect to the man that has proven to be Brock’s equal – but at WrestleMania, only one can be declared the winner. This feels like the final thing they should do for the WM build – not the first. Brock F5s him off the handshake. Goldberg actually held onto the title during the F5, which was pretty cool. Braun-Roman recap.

It’s nice of Raw to plug Cena’s appearance on the Teen Choice Awards when Raw and SmackDown ARE IN A BATTLE FOR THEIR VERY LIVES. Tag title match is up. Nothing of note until Cesaro, with coffee, and Sheamus come out. Enzo is a face in peril until Cass comes in and runs wild with splashes and a fallaway slam to Karl. Empire elbow gets 2 and Enzo dives onto Luke. Cesaro brawls with them and we get a DQ. Rick Rude HOF video airs. Sheamus and Cass bicker backstage while Mick says they’ll settle it in a tag match and the winners face The Club at WM. Steph meets with Mick. Mick’s beard has tons of grey in it…and now he’s going to get his balls cut off by Steph.

Tozawa comes down to face Ariya Daivari. Suicide dive and a snap German end it for Tozawa. Tozawa wants Kendrick tonight and he comes down and says that he’ll give Tozawa his final message on 205 Live. New Day rides the popcycle out and then Big E makes sweet love to it. Big E cuts a promo on the Shining Stars, who they’ll be facing and beating momentarily. Yup. Cole throws to a women’s history video package – focusing on Trish and Lita. “Trailblazers” has to be the most overused phrase in these video packages.

Bayley will announce her WM opponent next. Mick’s going to get his balls cut off live RIGHT HERE, IN CHICAGO! Replay of the Fastlane finish. I’m glad they’re replaying this because I honestly forgot it. Sasha comes down and wants the match. Charlotte comes down and cut an awful promo. YES! Steph buries both Sasha and Mick in one sentence! Punk gets a chant and she buries him too. GIGANTIC CM PUNK CHANT. Amazing. They are actually drowning Steph out. Steph wants Charlotte to get a shot, so BOTH DANA AND CHARLOTTE POINT TO THE SIGN. That was great. Mick wants a match between Charlotte vs. Sasha for a title shot at WM and Steph says that she’ll make it a triple threat because Sasha will face Bayley next.

Basic mat wrestling to start things off – so it’s perfect friend vs. friend psychology so far. Sasha gets aggressive with the double knees. Bank statement is locked on and Bayley taps after Charlotte gets on the apron, so Sasha kicks off of her and goes into the middle of the ring. Seth’s thing last week is recapped. We see Seth rehabbing and him saying in a very monotone way that he will be back. HHH brags about WWE’s world-class medical staff and hopes that Seth listens to the doctors and doesn’t wrestle. He also hilariously says that he never had to make names for himself. Well, this was just an excuse to get in some digs at CM Punk and be snarky. Didn’t make me want to see HHH vs. Seth, but HHH vs. Punk instead.

Joe comes out to face Jericho. Emma gets a coming soon graphic. Joe eats some nice chops and gets his chest marked up. Joe locks the choke on the floor. Joe with the best countout win in history. I love that – Jericho loses in a definitive manner, but on paper, it’s “just” a countout. Jericho hits a codebreaker to send Joe packing. Braun calls out Roman and says Chicago hates Roman and so does he. Instead of the Big Dog, he GETS THE DEAD MAN! Best promo on the show by far, and now he’s in there with Taker. Hell, make it a triple threat match. It takes pressure off of Taker and allows him to still have a match. Braun and Taker stare down and Braun leaves. Roman comes out to a sea of boos. Roman stares down with Taker and gets a far worse reaction than Braun did. Roman big dogs the Undertaker and tells him it’s his yard now. Taker chokeslams him – this ruled.

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