The show begins with a recap of Mick’s emasculation. Seth coming down and making the save is shown briefly, before they focus on HHH getting the best of him. Mick walks down the aisle and reads a prepared statement about being the GM of Monday Night Raw for nine months and thanking HHH and Steph. LOL @ The Ultimate Thrillride actually being a line in this. Mick steps down for the good of WWE and his own sanity. Mick rips up the cards and says that in 31 years, he’s never needed index cards and he’s Mick Foley and he’ll say what he wants before his mic is cut. Steph comes down and sneers at him. Steph tells him “You can’t remember a thing!” Time to watch Rock beat his brains out with a chair at the ’99 Rumble. Steph fires Mick, but fortunately, the Underdog From the Underground is out to save the former Fatty in the Flannel. Steph tells him to not talk to her and says he isn’t on her level. It’s so nice of Steph to go over Mick and Sami tonight and tell Sami that he isn’t even fit to speak to her. Joe comes down to help Steph before Steph tells him she doesn’t need him – she’s got this. She makes Joe vs. Zayn next.
Joe hits the chop, kick and senton for 2. Elbow suicida hits on the floor for Joe. Joe hits the corner elbow and high kick. Sami hits a lariat for a bit of a comeback. Sami hits the torpedo DDT, but they come in and the helluva kick is met with the corner ST-Joe and the coquina clutch for the win. Good match, but this felt like filler before each guy does nothing at WM. Tonight’s Roman vs. Braun match is hyped up with Braun chokeslamming him through a table at the Rumble. Backstage, Mick thanks Sami for what he did and Sami tells him that Raw needs Mick to stand up for them. Cesaro and Sheamus thank Mick for having them team up. Mick hugs Bayley and then HHH tells him to have a nice day. We get a recap of Mick vs. Steph and another one of HHH vs. Seth. Jesus Christ. Raw is Filler tonight. A very boring man talks to Cole about how Seth’s knee brace saved his knee from disaster. “There’s no doctor in America that will clear him for WrestleMania” except for WWE’s “world-class medical staff”. This leads to Cole intervewing HHH later tonight.
Charlotte comes out to face Dana, Dana’s ’50s swimsuit is astonishing. Dana runs wild with horrible shoulder blocks and clubbing blows. Charlotte gets a big boot and wins. This was easily Charlotte’s worst match all year. Jericho’s highlight reel is next, but first, we learn that he has won 30 titles in his career. Steph meets with Bayley, who tells Steph that she grew up idolizing Steph. Steph says that if Nia beats Bayley tonight, she’ll be added to the women’s title match at WM and tonight’s match is No DQ.
Jericho comes out and shows a photo of Owens when he was 16 doing the Y2J pose in his room with a poster of Jericho on one side and a poster of Sable on the other. We see some tweets from KO to Jericho from 2014. Jericho is single-handedly saving this show and WM. His promo is intense and he manages to use catchphrases sprinkled into real drama to make this seem like a huge deal. Joe walks down the aisle, allowing KO to jump Jericho. The bright blue canvas looks good on the mat – they should keep it that color. Pop-up powerbomb hits and he tears up the list.
TJP comes out to face Brian Kendrick in another match no one could possibly care about. Kendrick looks like he stole Yano’s gear after it shrank in the wash. Wrecking ball dropkick sends Kendrick down. Sliced Bread hits off a fakeout and Kendrick wins. It took longer for them to take up the ropes than to have the match. Kendrick demands to see Tozawa now. Kendrick says that can’t happen because Tozawa’s passport just happened to be on the locker room floor.. so then how could he leave the country? Goldberg vs. Brock hype next.
Or rather, we get a recap of Roman vs. HBK from last week. The Brock-Goldberg video goes into the Survivor Series match and shows a bit of an interview with Brock and Heyman backstage. Nia vs. Bayley is up after a break to give the show something resembling content. LOL @ a 50 Shades of Grey ad on Raw. Steph chats with Sheamus and Cesaro and tells them they’ll have to re-earn their title shot against both teams they would face at WM. Bayley comes out and they’ve started selling little Bayley buddies now.
Nia biels her around and and hits a shoulder breaker before an “asshole” chant breaks out. Another biel leads to a “si si si!” chant. Nia seems a bit reckless tossing Bayley to the floor. Nia swings her into the barricade too. Bayley hits a rope stunner and lands a running knee for 2. Nia hits a Samoan drop to win. We get a Mae Young video hyping her up as POSSIBLY THE GREATEST SPORTS ENTERTAINER OF ALL-TIME. I’m astonished they didn’t call her a trailblazer in this.
HHH comes out and says “I’m in the best shape of my life” a statement we always seem to hear, and see for ourselves, as each year passes. Amazing how one can reach new physical peaks in their mid to late ’40s. Then HHH, The Game, the King of Kings, the Greatest Champion of All-Time, the Creator, says that he can’t stand insecurity. HHH talks about Seth getting the upper hand for 30 seconds last week before he kicked Seth’s ass. HHH says that Seth is done and won’t be at WM to wrestle – but he’ll give him a couple comp tickets. HHH instead offers up a non-sanctioned match and will make that match if Seth signs a hold-harmless agreement. Now they’re giving this the “non-sanctioned match” stip, meaning it has to either top HHH vs. HBK at Summerslam ’02 or be better than Bret vs. Vince…well, it’ll be somewhere between those two that’s for sure. Braun’s powerslam through the announce table is shown.
Sheamus and Cesaro come out while the Club has their Bullet Club knock-off shirts replaced with The Club mask ones. The Club beats up Enzo and Cass after being mocked by them. Hart Attack Brogue Kick ends things in seconds…so they should win the titles very easily, right? Rocket Launcher to Anderson furthers them looking like total jobbers. And they’re the champs!
New Day skit backstage. LOL at the skit starting with E and Kofi leering at Woods. Aries comes out and we get a recap of his 205 Live match with Kendrick. Nese’s generic tron and theme are amazing. It’s like something created in the video game. Aries hits the dive and RAW ROLLS ON! Missile dropkick sends Nese into the corner for a corner dropkick before the discus firearm ends it. KING NEVILLE’s pyro hits and I love Neville just declaring himself a king and that instantly meaning more than actually winning King of the Ring. They babble a bit and Aries says he’ll win at WM.
Part 2 of Goldberg vs. Lesnar is up next. Emma re-re-re-return video. WM XIX main event clips. WWE really needs to release the entire WM XIX show that was filmed for the WM Movie on the Network just to have that super-clean footage out there. Brock-Lesnar is hyped up with Rumble clips of Goldberg conquering him again. Byron asks a robotic question about what that did to Brock that is answered with clips of the F5 from Raw. Brock was paid good money for this and God bless him for it. It’s 10:52 and it’s time for QUESTIONS WITH BRAUN.
Roman comes out and gets booed. Graphic hypes up the Seth vs. HHH signing next week. Roman snaps the neck on the rope, but the drive by is met with a lariat. Braun locks on a chinlock at 11:04. Roman hits a Samoan drop for 2. Drive by hits, but Braun tosses him into the steps. Braun goes to hit him with the steps, but hits the Superman punch. A pop-up flapjack leads to a falling Superman punch, but Taker’s gong hits as he preps for the spear. Taker appears mid-ring to a huge chant and he chokeslams Braun. Spear to Taker leads to even more boos. Taker does the situp. So now the only guys to beat Taker at WM are going to be an all-time great in Brock and…also Roman Reigns.
Tags: WWE RAW