A Belated Penny For Your Thoughts Wrestlemania 33 Wrap-Up

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I was going to originally post this Monday, but then decided I should wait until after the post-Mania Raw and Smackdown. Then during Smackdown on the Pulse Wrestling Slack chat, Widdy suggested doing it for the weekend so everyone could have some cooldown time after the extended Mania week was over. So now it’s Saturday and we’ve all had time to unwind. So here’s how my post Mania wrap-up/Afterthoughts bonus column will go; I’ll break down each day from Friday to Tuesday as bllet points of my thoughts and critiques of everything I personally feel like commenting on. Easy-peasy. So let’s start with…

The 2017 WWE Hall Of Fame

  • It’s nice to see enough time has passed for WWE fans to take the “WCW was the enemy” blinders off and acknowledge Bischoff positively. It was even nicer for Bischoff himself to admit it should have been Dusty up there inducting DDP.
  • Kevin Nash looked bored and tired every time they showed him on camera.
  • DDP was so emotional it was hard to get through his induction without tearing up. His nods to Dusty especially got me.
  • Damn Jake looks years younger thanks to DDP.
  • I cannot POSSIBLY be the only person deeply disappointed that Cornette behaved himself on a live mic. I was so damned giddy at the prospect of a Jim Cornette rant on live WWE TV.
  • Ricky Morton’s legendary yammering gob has not faded with his age.
  • JBL has always been a bully backstage, but never a racist one. He grew up in this business on the wisdom of black wrestlers. Someone I was talking to was surprised how woke he was while inducting Teddy Long. had to remind them it’s gay people and mental health Bradshaw shits on. He would never DARE be racist. Ron Simmons would rip his spine out and he knows it.
  • Kurt’s induction was funny as hell, especially when the crowd sang along with Sexy Kurt. The clip with Sherri just made me tear up though.
  • Beth is still gorgeous, and bringing Tony Chimmel out to troll her hubby was brilliant.
  • I keep having to remind myself that lucha masked woman in the crowd is Kallisto’s wife hiding her face and not Sexy Star. I am le disappoint.

  • I am mildly unsettled that the one ethnic wrestler in this match is the one guy beaten down and taken out of the match just so Chris Hero could be on the ppv. Yes I said Chris Hero, fuck his WWE slave name.
  • Ruby certainly has room to grow and improve, but she clearly has the raw fundamental talent to grow with.
  • Actually kind of surprised sAnitY went over here, (and that they still insist on spelling it that way). I expected this to be the blow-off feud ending match, thus the faces win. Not ANGRY the heels won, just surprised by the straying from formula.
  • Of the newly minted NXT belts, I like the tag belts the least. I’ve always thought tag belts should have some kind of mirroring motiff and, to my knowledge, the old NXT tag belts are the only tag belts ever to do so. Now they’re no different from any other tag belts.
  • Not surprised that the Authors of Wasting Paul Ellering’s Talents kept the belts, given the Revival got callede up to Raw and most of us are about 90% sure DIY will show up on Smackdown next week during the Superstar Shake-up, (I feel dirty just typing that), but I’m still less than thrilled AoP is on top.
  • Alastair Black’s entrance was pretty awesome, as were a few spots in the match, but I think perhaps both these guys could use a few more weeks in the Performance Center to fine tune things.
  • SOMEONE had to have laid out that entire match move by move because Ember looked FAR closer to a ready-to-main-event talent than she actually is right now. Either that or she spent the last month busting her ass in the PC to improve, because that was a far better womens match than I was expecting.
  • Knowing Shinsuke was getting a call-up to Smackdown, (worst kept secret of the whole weekend), kind of made the main event a bit anti-climactic, but damn if they didn’t tear the house down for his going away party.
  • I know more than a few of the Pulse Irregulars think Drew Galloway/McIntyre is nothing better than a Jobber to the Stars, but I’ve seen what he can do when used properly, and perhaps NXT is the best place for him to prove that both to management and to the skeptics amongst you.

  • I can live with the Andre battle royal being on the pre-show. It’s hardly a long-lived prestigious tradition and thus far Baron Corbin is the only winner out of four to parlay his win into anything resembling a worthwhile career advancement. I absolutely HATE that the Cruserweight title match and the Intercontinental match were. The Cruiserweights deserved better, and while I think Corbin sucks ass and actually DOES deserve the pre-show, the IC belt does not.
  • Wish Neville and Aries had gotten 5-10 minutes longer. They popped the crowd and set a high bar for the rest of the night.
  • New Day’s outfits were awesome. The Chocobos and Moogles were awesome. Big E’s sassy face after having his innuendo interrupted was FUCKING EPIC. And Xavier’s weird Smurfy dance was hilarious.
  • The crowd dared hope for the Hardys, even though they tried to swerve us all into thinking New Day was inserting themselves into the Ladder Match. The crowd’s hope was rewarded and even though I too suspected it might happen I marked out like a small child for the first time in years hopping up and down on my couch like a little kid watching Star Wars for the first time. The various Broken Hardys chants, (DELETE!/Obsolete/Broken Matt/Brother Nero) just made it better. The Hardys EASILY got the two biggest pops of the entire night.
  • Oldberg/Lesnar was pretty much exactly what I expected. A big predictable yawn that should NEVER have happened.
  • Vince really needs to listen to the audience. Miz is INSANELY over with this crowd, and should have won. Then that skeevy rapey proposal… ugh, I literally got nauseous and wanted to hurl. It was screaming “publicity stunt” and Cena’s story about while Nicki was drugged out after surgery was an abundance of textbook red flags.
  • Tripsy had a cool entrance as always but I spent most of the match uncomfortably hoping nothing would go terribly horribly wrong and screw Seth’s knee. It was an amazing match but it was very hard to enjoy and very uncomfortable to watch.
  • Shane as always proved the whiners and bitchers wrong and kept up with AJ. It wasn’t a textbook wrestling classic, but it was still pretty damned fun.
  • The Wyatt/Two Strikes match was weird and bizarre and the wrong guy won like we all thought, but at least Bray managed to prove he belongs in the main event even when he has to job to creator’s pets that don’t even need the win.
  • The womens matches were both disappointing. I expected Raw’s to be because it had two players too many anyway, but I’m disappointed the Smackdown ladies didn’t get enough time to steal the show, and barely got to show much with the time they were given.
  • Finally, the perennial elephant in the room, Taker’s swansong. I wish I knew what in the hell possessed Mark Calloway to decide Roman fucking Reigns was the man he wanted to give his retirement match to, but it was his choice and I respect it regardless of whether or not I agree with it. And they paced the match like I said they should in my Sunday morning countdown piece. It was better than anyone expected, but if Taker or Vince were hoping this would finally get Roman over like Vince wants, they’re insane. All they’ve done is guarantee the crowd’s ire for years to come. Now and forever Roman will ALWAYS be “the dick that made Undertaker Leave”.

  • If only Vince had the common sense to listen to the Audience. That crowd was utterly, predictably brutal to Roman, and very not PG. At least Roman had the good sense to heel it up.
  • Vince might also want to listen to the crowd’s feelings on Steph being off TV.
  • The Revival’s call-up was perfect. They beat a top team decisively so casuals know they’re for real, and the post-match beatdown shows that they’re a walking mean streak.
  • Vince take note again; BOOK BROCK VS BALOR. It will be a license to print money.
  • Also; stop having Strowman back down from Brock if you want him to be a serious monster heel.
  • Cesaro and Sheamus dancing goofily along to the crowd chants made me smile.
  • Kurt will do just fine as GM.
  • Nice to finally have Finn back and put straight back into the main event.

  • Nice little swerve there with Curt Hawkins and the crowd expecting Nakamora early, but the crowd was nontheless happy with the call-up we DID get for that match, and Tye looked like he was ready and raring to go. It doesn’t hurt that Corey and JBL sold him like someone who matters for the casuals at home.
  • Nice to see Rowan back with Bray. And DAYUM that new mask is all kinds of creepy and messed up. Also, again, Vince? PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION TO YOUR AUDIENCE. We are sick to death of Two Strikes and we don’t want him main-eventing anymore.
  • Miz says what we were all thinking by pointing out how tacky proposing at Mania was. Seriously, that shit was skeevy on so many levels. Widro and I were in Slack Chat and we both agree if even HALF of what we see on Total Divas is representative of who these people really are, then John Cena is a walking red flag of abusive behaviours.
  • Miz and Maryse were, once again insanely over and should already have full-on turned face by now.
  • NAKAMORA!!! Widro thought it was strange that he came out then left, but I think it was perfect. The crowd reaction, plus Miz just leaving without a word, all show the casuals at home what a huge deal this guy is. The segment did exactly what it was supposed to do.
  • Finally, AJ shaking Shane’s hand was a perfect moment. Period.

Well, that’s it for me for Mania season. I have access to a full proper PC again, so I’ll try my best to chip in more articles if I have something to say. In fact I’m plotting out an article for Babos over in the Nexus section. See you lot later!

Penny is a now divorced intersexed disabled lesbian in BC Canada. She's been watching wrestling and reading comics since she was a kid, and knows her stuff. She lives with her pets and passes her free time writing, drawing, doing paid photoshop work (including logos done for Pulse's Own Mike Gojira), and is a part-time Queer model.