Impact Wrestling 5/18/17 Recap – Triple Threat Ultimate X

LAX’s issues with the VOW are shown, along with Lashley bragging about being THE CHAMPION in Impact and Alberto’s GFW Title win from last week before an Ultimate X hype video. The GFW Tag Title tournament is hyped up with the belts shown at ringside. LAX comes out to face Loredo Kid and Garza Jr. Garza Jr hits a nice missile dropkick, but Santana takes him out with one. LAX hits a double team legdrop for 2. Garza Jr. fakes LAX out by taking off his stripper pants to distract them…and it works. Okay, so they’re morons then. A tower of doom to one LAX member leads to the other doing a frog splash instead of STOPPING THE MOVE TO HIS PARTNER. Diamante hits a Latacanrana on the apron before the powerbomb blockbuster combo ends it.

Fans mock Josh with poop emojis on their phone. Magnus bitches about facing Matt Morgan before facing Alberto and says it’s “classic Prichard – classic Impact under the Prichard regime”. So in storyline, he’s been one of like five guys in charge for a few months, and this is now a classic thing. Bruce tells him to win to get back in contention. We get a Broken LVN video before Kong comes out to face Braxton. Kongo chokes Braxton, leading to LVN putting a heart on his head in lipstick. Kongo Kong hits an emerald flowsion to win and everyone beats up Braxton while Josh says that Allie is the bad guy in this story. Shera comes down and makes a save, leading to Braxton issuing a challenge to the whole group.

Last week’s X division three way is shown heavily, before Sydal says that Everett impressed him. A longer Ultimate X hype video airs with Low-Ki hyping himself up. Karen chats with McKenzie before Magnus walks backstage, moves her aside, and Karen complains. EC3’s beating of Storm is shown before their match tonight is hyped up. EC3 is out, followed by Storm. Magnus is out for commentary, and Storm starts off with a Thesz press with punches. EC3 and Storm have an okay little match – nothing amazing. Storm is distracted a bit by Magnus, leading to Bruce kicking Magnus out. EC3 threatens to whip Storm, but the ref nixes that – so EC3 whips him instead. Storm makes a save and goes for a superkick, but Magnus attacks Storm.

Prichard says that they don’t have a main event for Slammiversary, but it will be a three way if Magnus wants to get involved so badly. So EC3’s punishment for attacking a ref is to be put into a situation where he could get a World Title shot. That makes perfect sense! Bruce tells EC3 that he needs to find his balls, so EC3 throws him down. We get another Spud hyper-dramatic video set to ill-fitting music. Spud swears revenge while “I never meant to pull his pants down” is repeated over and over. Great.

ODB comes out to face Sienna for the GFW Women’s TItle. ODB chops away at Sienna before sending her down with a lariat. ODB misses a dive and the Pounce ends it, thank God. JB comes down and says that his lawyer has gotten him reinstated to the company. His new attorney is Joseph Park! Josh makes a great bewildered face here. We get a closeup of the legal document and to the company’s credit, they actually tried to make this thing look legit – outside of “TNA” being used all over it. Joseph’s wrinkly suit is either the best or worst thing here. Josh hops up on the table like a monkey, in ripped jeans, and says that Park is Abyss. Josh calls him a big, dumb idiot and Joseph says that he has won wars in the ring and he brags about beating Bully Ray. Joseph says he wants to fight Josh in a tag match at Slammiversary.

Alberto’s win over Magnus is shown and Alberto says that THIS IS MY HOUSE and that’s something his fiancee always says. Lee, Everett, and Low-Ki as Agent 47 come out. Lee sends them off the apron into the barricade. Everett…sorta hits a really scary springboard SSP to Lee and Ki, who avoids all possible contact. Lee goes to use a chair to get the belt, but Ki punches the chair hard. Reverse frankendriver by Everett hits Lee. Lee climbs on Helms, but Ki kicks them down. Lee and Everett climb, but Ki walks the truss and stomps on their hands to get his title. This was a fine, but nothing special Ultimate X match. It was worked safely, and really feels like a match that doesn’t need to exist now.

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