10 Thoughts on … Ring of Honor May 13, 2017 (Colt Cabana is a Goof, Silas Young versus Bobby Fish, The Octopus)

Thought Zero – Do you know what sucks? When you get ill on a Sunday night and the pain lasts all night long. Then you go to the ER on Monday morning. Then they tell you it is pancreatitis but they don’t know why you got it. Then they put you on a clear liquid only diet. Then they send you to a gastro-intestinal doctor for a followup on Wednesday. Then the GI doctor tells you that you need to have your gall bladder out. Then the GI doctor sends you to see a surgeon. Then the surgeon schedules testing all day on Thursday. Then the surgeon schedules surgery on Friday. Then you have no gall bladder and are in immense pain for Saturday and then it is Sunday again.

1) Obviously, this meat sack of mine is causing me lots of difficulties, so I couldn’t get to Ring of Honor last week. But here is last week’s 10 Thoughts and I will get this week’s done as soon as possible.

2) The first match is Search and Destroy (Chris Sabin and Jonathan Gresham) versus Cheeseburger and Will Ferrara. They still haven’t pulled the trigger on Ferrara’s turn on Burger? Oh well. Alex Shelley tells us he has a concussion and can’t wrestle, so they will get Gresham instead. He does a pretty good job of hyping Gresham, although “The Octopus” is not all that great of a nickname.

3) Ian Riccaboni makes a musical reference. But it is a reference to a 1984 song by Houdini. Not quite playing to your audience there, Ian.

4) Colt Cabana has his goofy schtick in full throttle mode tonight. Just check out this exchange.

Ian: As you know, the Motor City MachineGuns like to consider themselves a modern-day wrestling version of the Ramones. If they have Johnny and Marky, maybe they have found a third in Jonathan Gresham. Or maybe they found the Silver Bullet Band, going with the Detroit theme.

Colt: Oh, I was going to say he could be Razor.

Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy there, Colt. And Ian, referencing Houdini and Bob Seger within a 2 minute stretch? The Ramones at least have a pop culture relevance. Know your audience, dude. Also, Cabana spent all match making silly burger puns but yet had to yell at Ian for talking about a Cheeseburger springboard “frying” knee.

5) Decent match even though Cheeseburger was involved. Gresham was typically great, Sabin was typically solid, Ferrara tried very hard, and Cheeseburger pretended that he could do anything with his size. Gresham won with the Octopus hold on Cheeseburger after Burger accidentally hit Ferrara with a palm strike. Someone still needs to explain the Stryper-esque apparel choices being made by Search and Destroy.

6) Next we see Silas Young interrupting Jay Lethal preparing to do a commercial. Lethal is great here as the calm professional trying to reason with Young who is just thoroughly pissed off that Lethal is the “golden boy” and gets all the perks while all he gets is an injured leg. You know what, as silly as it sounds, that was actually a very effective segment and gives Young a little more depth. Young ends up smashing Lethal’s leg into a set of lockers  to set up some more greatness down the line.

7) The next match is a big match which was set up a couple PPVs ago – Bobby Fish versus Silas Young. I really thought they would push this combination a little more and set up a big time grudge match. But it looks like the scary brawl they had at Supercard of Honor was just a time waster. Young comes out with Beer City Bruiser and Ian drops an interesting tidbit that Fish and Young made their Ring of Honor debut as a tag team. I didn’t know that.

8) Silas once again shows why he is the most underrated wrestler in Ring of Honor. His quickness mixed with his hard-hitting moveset mixed with his old school heel tactics makes him so much fun to watch in the ring. This really is a pretty even match and deserved more than a random middle television hour match.I could watch these two guys beat each other up all day. And Young really needs to be in line for the TV title at least. Young wins the match after taking off his knee brace and nailing Fish smack in the head with it. This one is worth seeking out, in my opinion.

9) Oh, Colt Cabana…

Ian: That’s a great observation, Colt.

Colt: Just call me Meltzer because I’m an Observer.

Ian: You’ve just been waiting for that one, eh?

Colt: Yeah… I’m sorry. I’ll never say that again.

10) The main event was the World Six-Man Tag Team title match between the Briscoes and Bully Ray versus The Rebellion. Alex Shelley joins the announce booth for some reason. I understand that Shelley’s concussion is keeping him from competing, but not sure why they want to put a microphone in front of him if his brain isn’t optimal. Anyway, this match involves Bully Ray so I don’t really care about it. The champs retain with a 3D on Rhett Titus. After the match, Caprice Coleman goes through a table because Bully Ray is a one-trick pony. And we’re out.

 

That’s it for last week’s ROH TV. I will have this week’s ROH TV done soon unless another body part betrays me. Until then…

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