Recap of Braun vs. Kane starts things off before Kurt recaps things verbally. Kurt says that by the end of the night, we’ll know who faces Brock and Braun comes down. The monster debates with Kurt until Kane comes down to debate and then Brock and Heyman are out too. Kurt makes a triple threat match to just avoid mayhem tonight. Brock sends Braun over the top and F5s Kane. Seth comes out to face Joe, but Jason Jordan says he wants Joe. Joe is heavily amused by all of this idiocy and says that if they want him so bad, they can beat each other up and the winner gets to be taken out by him. Seth says this can’t be done because the matc has been made – so the ref just makes this match anyway.
Jordan bowls him into the barricade after a variety of takedowns mid-ring. He charges him into the corner He lands a one-legged backbreaker for 2 before landing a huge overhead belly to belly for 2. Seth rebounds and hits a dive on the floor. A High Fly Flow gets 2.5. Seth superkicks Joe and Jordan gets a cradle for 2 but the ripcord knee gets the win. Joe slugs Seth and hits a big spinning STO. Cedric vs. Drew is hyped up alongside the six-woman tag. Seth and Dean talk about wanting Joe and Dean wants in on that action too. Jordan comes in and Dean tells him to get in line – so Kurt makes them face Joe and The Bar in a six man tag.
We get a Woken Matt Hardy montage before Cole explains the deal and Bray impersonates him. Finn Balor comes down and now the Miztourage is out to face him. CAN THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION BEAT TWO JOBBERS!? The heels double team him and Balor knocks Axel down, but Bo prevents a double stomp and we get a DQ. Jesus. Itami comes down to make a save for Balor. Well, that sure was a thing that happened. Now it’s time for Itami and Balor against the Miztourage. Raw would be 20 minutes long if it wasn’t for unplanned matches happening that no one on Earth could care about. The heels double team Balor. Itami hits a diving lariat on Axel. The running knee strike hits and Bo makes a save. Balor hits the shotgun kick on Bo on the floor before Itami beats Axel with the GTS.Renee chats with Cedric about his chance tonight and he says he wants to show Raw and the world what the division is made of. Enzo and Drew come down to save the show. Enzo gets in some Last Jedi stuff before Drew compares himself to Jar Jar Binks. Enzo and Booker yammer on for decades while a match happens. Cedric sends Drew out and Cedric hits a flip dive. We get a double flip suplex to the floor that means nothing thanks to Enzo’s commentary. Drew hits an elbow after the break, so then why bother doing anything flashy beforehand? Gulak locks on a surfboard, but Cedric fights out. Standing C4 gets 2 and Enzo leaves. Lumbar check ends it.
Backstage, Enzo chats with Nia and says that he got her DM – so that’s why he left. Drew comes in with tissues up his nose and apologizes – leaving Enzo in the dust with Nia. Drew is dismayed over how mad Enzo is, not realizing it’s over Nia and not the loss. Asuka comes down to face Captain Foxy. Foxy evades for as long as possible. Fox hits a pair of kicks for 2. Flying armbar taps out Foxy. We get some awkward Miz and Maryse stuff from Total Divas. Jericho’s debut gets shown in blurred form.Shield and Jordan vs. Bar is up and Jordan starts it off and then Seth increases the pace with dives. Joe kicks some ass for a while before Dean saves his buddy on the floor and they tease a hot tag. Cesaro boots him off the apron to nix that. Dean dives on the pile, but Cesaro gets the win on Seth after a brogue kick. Recap of Brock destroying a machine and a monster earlier. Queen Stephanie emerges from her limo. Woken Matt plays chess with Napoleon the fish. Matt says he will delete Bray and it does get a good-sized chant. Backstage, Joe and the Bar destroy Seth and shove a giant metal box into Dean’s arm. Revival returns and destroys Rhyno and Slater. Shatter Machine ends it.
Kurt tells Rhyno and Heath to toughen up if they want more chances. Rhyno tells Heath to toughen up and he’ll show him how. Elias sings about being in the Rumble. Sasha interrupts Elias before Mickie comes down and Elias is dumbfounded, but doesn’t mind being surrounded by the women who want to walk with Elias. Cena returns to Raw next week. Absolution comes down, or as Cole said – “ABSOLUTION! THE GROUP KNOWN AS ABSOLUTION, WHO LAST WEEK DESTROYED THE EMPRESS OF TOMORROW!” A three on one beating ends the match by DQ. Nia makes a save and hits a double Samoan drop to Paige’s goons. The women’s locker room empties until Steph comes down and everyone just stops fighting.
She talks about the women’s revolution that started three years ago, but it really started with Moolah and Mae. So which is it? She praises the first ever middle east women’s match, the first ever MITB match, and Sasha got a “this is hope” chant. Could it be? COULD WE SEE A SECOND NIGHT OF THE YEAR WHERE RAW AND SMACKDOWN SUPERSTARS GO AT IT WITH A FEMALE RUMBLE!? Steph announces a women’s rumble, but doesn’t say if it’s brand-only and then demands a yes chant.
Tags: Brock Lesnar, WWE RAW