Raw starts off with one of the goofiest-looking scenes in ages – a ton of MITB competitors just standing on ladders mid-ring before Kurt comes down. Baron comes out with a shaved head – greatly improving his overall look. He’s also got a great vest and a silly title as Constable. Baron wants the contracts to come to Raw or else Steph will be mad. Everyone just chats on ladders, as ya do. Everyone argues about how hight the cases should be and Kurt says they’ll be even – so KO cries favoritism and then Braun says the Constable should stay out of things. KO compliments the haircut and then Alexa screeches and we get a women’s fatal 4 way match with Alexa, Ember, Nattie, and Sasha.
Alexa feigns another leg injury and Nattie tosses her around on the floor. Ember dropkicks Nattie down and Sasha works on the arm of Nattie – despite her leg being all taped up. Alexa works on Nattie and Ember, but Sasha hits a kneeling shotgun knee in the corner. Tower of doom in the corner. Sasha goes for a bank statement crossface, but Nattie hits the run-up the back, but can’t kick. Natties tosses Alexa out by her trunks, which isn’t the worst view in the world before going for a sharpshooter on Sasha. Ember makes a save, but Nattie gets the sharpshooter on Alexa to win.
KO and Balor argue about things for a bit and talk about how they never got a rematch for the Universal Title. Drew and Dolph destroy Breezango and win with the claymore/zig zag. They say they’ll win the titles and then Roman says tonight, he’ll go have fun beating Jinder tonight instead of at MITB. Roman faces Sunil instead and beats him with a spear. Jinder hits the Kallas. The B Team beats Rhyno and Heath before Matt and Bray say some words backstage before coming on stage and saying they will eat and delete them. Elias sings about hating crossfit and Seth’s goofy nicknames. Elias having the IC Title on his guitar is a nice Rick Rude-esque touch. Seth and Elias brawl and then Seth destroys the guitar.
KO tries to suck up to Bobby Roode for a bit. Bayley comes out and the Riott Squad causes mayhem by knocking over a caustion sign, knocking down a stack of plastic cups, destroying bags of chips, tipping over plasticware AND knocking papers to the floor. OH THOSE SCOUNDRELS! Then they cut a guy’s tie off. So this is supposed to be hilarious right? Cole talks about how they “love to create mayhem” in a way that would almost be bad if they were on Dennis the Menace. Bayley loses to Ruby when the Squad distracts her and the Riott Kick ends it.
Nia comes out and then Ronda does, with her UFC HOF announcement getting some play. Nia says she’ll beat Ronda and be called the baddest woman on the planet. She talks about proving everyone wrong in the UFC and she’s Ronda Rousey and she was born ready! Nia pokes the eye and Ronda gets the flying armbar, but Nia blocks it. Ronda gets it and forces a tap. Curt Hawkins gets beaten by No Way Jose, dressed as one of the conga line and losing to the pop-up punch. Balor and Roode talk about not trusting KO, but trusting him more than Braun.
Sami comes out with a military-looking obstacle course set up in the ring, as you do. Oh wonderful – it’s like season one of NXT. Bobby wins, but Sami attacks and swings away on the rope to celebrate. Everyone comes out for the 4 way and they all gang up on Braun. They brawl on the ramp and ladders get used. KO gets tossed into the LED boards. They beat Braun up on the table and KO frog splashes him through the announce table off a ladder – so they thankfully nixed him being scared of heights like last week. Once this ends, everyone else goes at it until Braun returns and takes out Balor and Roode. They gang up on Braun again until KO cradles Roode. Roode hits the DDT, but KO won’t let him pin Braun and he frog splashes Braun for 2. Braun powerslams him on the ladder for the win.
Tags: Braun Strowman, Raw, Ronda Rousey, ufc hall of fame