A2Z Analysiz: TNA Slammiversary Seven (Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Mick Foley)

Wrestling DVDs

Slammiversary 2009

For an easy to navigate archive of my TNA reviews, please visit Total Nonstop Ziegler!

The Palace – Detroit, Michigan – June 21, 2009

MATCH #1: King of the Mountain Match for the TNA X-Division Championship – Suicide vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Consequences Creed vs. Jay Lethal

Suicide has been the champion since 3.15.09, and this is his fifth defense. These are the same five guys that were in the Ultimate X match back in March when Suicide won the title. Detroit Tiger Centerfielder Curtis Granderson joins Tenay and West on commentary. He will also present the title to the winner. West calls this the first-ever X-Division King of the Mountain match, but they definitely did one on TV a few years ago. I don’t expect to do much play-by-play for this one. Everyone attacks the champion to start, and we see some clubberin’! Creed brings a ladder into the ring as Suicide tries to fight off the Guns. Suicide actually gets the first pin, after hitting Lethal with the Suicide Solution on a ladder, so now he’s eligible to hang the belt. He’s then able to sneak in another pin, this time on Shelley, sending him to the penalty box. Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on a chair on Suicide, and Sabin and Creed try to piggyback off that. However, only Lethal is now eligible to hang the belt. The Guns and Lethal Consequences celebrate for some reason. Then they start fighting each other while Suicide is in the penalty box. Creed hits an Ace Crusher of sorts on Shelley to get a pin. Moments later Suicide and Creed fight up the aisle, and Sabin leaps off the top of the penalty box to wipe them both out. Apparently it’s falls-count-anywhere, but Sabin neglects to try a pin. Shelley sets up a ladder for some reason, and then Sabin lays down for Shelley to pin him. He tries to hang the ladder but Suicide dropkicks him down. That looked like a painful fall. Everyone’s back in the ring now and there’s offense all over the place. Sabin gets out of the penalty box and hits a big swinging DDT on Lethal to get the pin. All five men are eligible to hang the belt now as Lethal heads to the box. Everyone keeps hitting big moves but no one makes an attempt to hang the title. They set up a really contrived looking spot on top of the penalty box, and Suicide is able to hit an Ace Crusher off the ladder on Shelley. He then takes his sweet time hanging the belt to get the win at 23:31. Everyone brought the energy, which I appreciate, and they did some really cool spots. However, like many X-Division matches they did some contrived stuff too, especially the finish. Overall though I liked the match, but I wonder how long they’re going to run with Suicide.
Rating: ***¼

MATCH #2: Daniels vs. Shane Douglas

I understand the concept of bringing Shane Douglas back; I just think it’s a stupid concept. Douglas cuts a promo criticizing the local sports team. Why is it that people love this guy? He’s also wrestling in a t-shirt, signifying that he couldn’t be bothered to get in good enough shape for the match. Daniels takes control in the early going, wearing Douglas down with a headlock. Douglas tries to bail, but Daniels follows him out with an Arabian Press. Daniels puts on a headlock for some reason, probably just so that Douglas can push him into the steps. He took it hard on the elbow, so Douglas attacks it, ramming it into the steps again. Back in the ring Douglas tenaciously attacks the arm. After a few minutes Daniels makes the comeback, hitting a Northern Lights suplex for two. He tries the Best Moonsault Ever but Douglas avoids it. Moments later Daniels hits an STO and this time connects with the BME to get the pin at 8:14. That was passable but also pointless.
Rating: **

MATCH #3: TNA Knockout Women’s Championship Match – Angelina Love vs. Tara

Love has been the champion since 4.19.09, and this is her third defense. She’s accompanied by fellow Beautiful People Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne. Why can’t Mike Tenay pronounce Tara’s name correctly? Love takes Tara down and slaps her around a bit, so Tara comes back with some fury, causing the champion to regroup on the floor. Tara hits a kick through the ropes, which Love helpfully walked right into, and then she tosses Love back in the ring. Sky and Rayne interfere behind the referee’s back and Love is back in control. Love beats Tara up for a bit, and then throws her to the floor for some more double-teaming by Sky and Rayne. Tara fights back with punches and clotheslines, and then a big bodyslam. She lifts Love up in a fireman’s carry and hits the spinning side suplex. Then she goes outside the ring to beat up both Sky and Rayne. Back in the ring Love hits a kick to the face, and then Rayne sprays hairspray in Tara’s eyes. Love hits a jumping Flatliner to get the pin and retain the title at 6:52. That was the usual Knockouts match, and I continue to wonder why this division gets so much praise.
Rating: *¾

MATCH #4: Monster’s Ball Match – Abyss & Taylor Wilde vs. Raven & Daffney

Raven cuts a brutally awful pre-match promo while Lauren tries to make facial expressions that indicate there’s some kind of brain in her head. Abyss and Wilde charge the ring and take the first advantage. They work pretty well as a team, and are able to dominate their sadistic opponents. Dr. Stevie interferes and then tries to talk strategy with Raven on the floor, but Abyss grabs Daffney and tosses her right onto them. Then Wilde jumps off the top rope and wipes all three of them out. Abyss joins the party on the floor, and he and Raven fight through the crowd, while Wilde and Daffney fight around ringside, I think. Daffney gets set up on a table, and Wilde climbs onto some equipment and delivers a splash to break the table. Abyss and Raven make their way back to the ring and Abyss grabs a little black bag. Dr. Stevie comes in and wallops Abyss with a chair. Abyss is bleeding now, and Raven takes full advantage. Raven uses a trash can to work on Abyss’s bloody head. Abyss comes back with a kendo stick, and then delivers a chokeslam. Dr. Stevie is distracting the referee though, so there’s no count. Abyss takes Dr. Stevie out with a trash can. Wilde is back, and she and Abyss deliver a Rocket Launcher on Raven, but Stevie once again is distracting the referee. Abyss now reveals the content of the bag, which is thousands of thumbtacks. Daffney tries to fight Abyss, and soon realizes that was a bad idea. She tries to escape, but for some reason won’t walk over a pile of tacks; she’d rather wait for Wilde to slam her on them. Wilde goes for a cover but Stevie saves. Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair. Raven then hits the Even Flow DDT on the chair, but Abyss kicks out at two. Abyss reverses another Even Flow attempt and hits the Black Hole Slam to get the win at 14:08. That was much better than I was expecting. I could have done without all the Dr. Stevie interference, but otherwise I enjoyed it.
Rating: ***

MATCH #5: Sting vs. Matt Morgan

If Morgan wins, he gets Sting’s spot in the Main Event Mafia. Morgan overpowers Sting right away, pushing him through the ropes and to the floor. He follows Sting out and throws him around a bit before heading back to the ring. As Morgan tries to reenter the ring, Sting cuts him off and they go back to the floor. Back in the ring Morgan withstands Sting’s attacks and levels him with a clothesline. Morgan hits a legdrop for two and continues to control the action. Sting fights back with a series of kicks to the leg, trying to chop the big tree down. Morgan misses a charge in the corner and Sting hits a missile dropkick. Sting hits a Stinger Splash to the back, but when he tries another one Morgan comes out of the corner with the Carbon Footprint for a two-count. Morgan sets up the Hellevator, and Sting obviously was supposed to slip out and hit the Scorpion Death Drop, but they blow it so Morgan covers him for a two-count. Sting hits a low blow and then the Scorpion Death Drop for real this time, but Morgan kicks out at two! Moments later Sting locks on the Scorpion Deathlock and Morgan breaks that! Morgan misses a charge in the corner and Sting climbs up to the second rope to deliver a super Scorpion Death Drop to score the pin at 9:01. That was pretty good but could have used some more time. I like the finish where Sting’s regular finisher wouldn’t work as well on a guy that size, so he has to climb the ropes to make it more effective. Matt Morgan is over with me.
Rating: **¾

MATCH #6: TNA World Tag Team Title Match – Team 3D vs. Beer Money, Inc.

Team 3D have been the champions since 4.19.09, and this is their first defense. Beer Money earned the title shot by defeating the British Invasion last month at Sacrifice. Storm and Devon start the match as Tenay is more interested in bickering with West than calling the match at first. Beer Money takes the advantage with some strategic double-teaming, so Devon tags Brother Ray. Of course Ray takes the advantage on Roode; I’m feeling like Devon does the majority of the selling in Team 3D matches, I could be wrong. Ray hits a sick release German suplex. Instead of using that opportunity, Roode quickly stops selling the injury and tags Storm. Team 3D uses some illegal double-teaming, so Beer Money responds in kind. Beer Money works Devon over for a few minutes before he makes the hot tag to Ray. Team 3D pitches Storm to the floor and then sets Roode up for the 3D. Storm breaks that up but then gets thrown to the floor again. Team 3D hits the What’s Up and then go to get the tables. This has been going on since what, the late ‘90s? They take too long and Storm stops them. Back in the ring Roode hits Ray with a spinebuster for two. Beer Money hits Ray with a double suplex and look to be firmly in control at this point. Now the British Invasion makes their way down to ringside. Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams join the commentating team. Meanwhile back in the ring Team 3D has once again taken control. The match breaks down and the referee loses control. Doug Williams agrees with me. Team 3D goes for the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he avoids it and Storm hits Ray with a lung blower. Storm hits Devon with the super rana and Roode follows with a Superfly Splash for a two-count. Beer Money sets Devon on the top rope, but Ray breaks it up and this time they hit Roode with the Doomsday Device. Roode kicks out at two! Storm accidentally spits beer in Roode’s eyes, and Team 3D hits the 3D. Rob Terry gets up the apron to distract the referee, so Ray knocks him off the apron and dives off the top rope to wipe out Terry and Magnus. Williams gets up on the apron as well, and Devon knocks him back through a table. Meanwhile Beer Money has recovered and they hit Devon with the DWI to get the win and their third reign as TNA World Tag Team Champions at 16:55. Team 3D, especially Brother Ray, is always talking about giving back to the business and all that, but how about you over the hill washed up WWE rejects put someone over without tons of interference or some other kind of shenanigans for once in your TNA careers? The match was fine until the British Invasion made their way out and the overbooking kicked in.
Rating: **½

MATCH #7: King of the Mountain Match for the TNA World Championship – Mick Foley vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Earlier in the night Borash said that the King of the Mountain match is named in Jeff Jarrett’s honor, but that’s not true at all. Jarrett took that nickname after winning the first King of the Mountain match. Foley has been the champion since 4.19.09, and this is his second defense. Before the match can start Joe reveals a Detroit Red Wings jersey and bum rushes Angle, who is wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey. The referees decide that Joe will have to start the match in the penalty box, and Angle is already eligible to hang the title. Jarrett and Styles double-team Angle, while Foley hangs back. Both Styles and Jarrett try to get a pinfall on Angle but he’s able to kick out each time. Foley finally gets in the ring and lets Jarrett pin him, just in time for Joe to come out of the box. Joe and Jarrett wind up in the ring together while Styles and Angle battle on the floor. Foley rejoins the match and goes after Joe, only to wind up in the rear naked choke. Jarrett goes to the floor to attack Angle, and winds up getting thrown over the guardrail and into the crowd. Meanwhile Foley passes out and has to go back to the penalty box, and Joe is eligible to hang the belt. Everyone’s back in the ring and a ladder comes into play. Joe gets slammed into one, rendering it useless as a climbing apparatus. Jarrett tries to hang the title but Angle cuts him off with a low blow. Styles tries a tornado DDT on Angle, but Angle reverses it to a belly-to-belly suplex right into a ladder. Then Jarrett tries to use the guitar on Angle, but Angle avoids it and is able to grab Jarrett in the Ankle Lock Jarrett escapes the hold and bashes a guitar over Angle’s head, and then tries to hang the belt. Foley joins him on the ladder and they exchange punches. Styles dropkicks them both off the ladder, and then the ladder falls right on his face. Foley and Styles climb to the top of the penalty box for some reason, and Foley goes for a suplex. Styles blocks it and tries a suplex of his own. Foley blocks that attempt, and hurls Styles back into the ring. Man, that AJ Styles is crazy. Joe puts Jarrett in the Choke, but Jarrett gets a jawbreaker to break it and gives Joe a Stroke into a ladder. Angle swoops in with the Angle Slam, but Jarrett of course kicks out. Foley then leaps off the top of the penalty box with an elbow drop, and that’s enough for a pin on Angle. Everyone except Styles is now eligible to hang the belt. Joe backdrops Styles over the ropes onto Foley on the floor, and Styles gets a pin to finally become eligible. Meanwhile Angle is out of the box. Jarrett sets up the ladder and goes to hang the belt, but Styles stops him. They end up dropping the belt, and Jarrett jumps off the ladder to deliver a DDT to Angle. Foley is out of the box now, and he hits Styles in the face with it. Joe then kicks Foley in the face. Jarrett and Foley slug it out on the floor now. Meanwhile, Joe goes up to hang the belt, but Styles stops him at the last second. Styles tries to climb but Joe stops him. Joe and Styles slug it out, and Styles reverses an Irish whip, sending Joe through the ropes to wipe out Jarrett and Foley. Styles hits Angle with the Styles Clash and goes up to hang the belt, but Joe makes it back to the ring and powerbombs him off the ladder. Now Joe and Angle climb the ladder, and Joe hands the belt to Angle, who hangs it for the victory at 22:03. Well I definitely didn’t see that coming. The match was non-stop action and as usual they came up with some cool spots. Joe attacking Angle before the bell to make Angle eligible to hang the belt right off the bat was pretty darn slick.
Rating: ***½

I grew up and now I write for Inside Pulse. Oh, and one time I saw a blimp!