The SmarK DVD Rant for Guest Booker with Greg Gagne
- Another one from kayfabecommentaries.com, this one a 100-minute interview with Greg Gagne about the attempts to create opposition for Vince McMahon in the form of Pro Wrestling USA, as he attempts to come up with a new strategy to tackle Vince.»»
- I am NOT doing RAW rants again. In fact, my trial subscription to The Score HD expires this week, so I won't even be able to watch the show after this. I'm just going to be a guest on Fight Network Radio tomorrow night and the discussion will center on RAW, so I figured I might as well watch it tonight.
- For those who haven't seen yet, since I haven't done a RAW rant in forever, you can now purchase my entire rant archive from 1993-2008 by checking out this link.
- Live from Wilkes-Barre, PA.
- Your hosts are Good Ol' King Cole.»»
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Maple Leaf Gardens - April 23 1989
- Taped from Toronto, ON.
- Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Lord Alfred»»
- Oh my. I've been waiting forever for this territory and era to debut on 24/7. - Taped from Calgaryâ€¦dramatic pauseâ€¦Alberta Canada. Vladimir Krupov v. Tom Kavitis. Not sure on the spelling, I barely remember these guys. Krupov is a gener »»
An article over at the AV Club really made me think about DVD's status as of late, particularly how it's become the dumping ground for all the crap on TV that no one watched the first time. With that in mind, it brings me to three releases sent to me by the studios which I don't think anyone was clamoring for. Basically, three DVD releases so dull that I couldn't even bring myself to give each one a full review because I just couldn't find 600 words about each one without padding it with inane chatter like this very paragraph. »»
This is subtitled "The essential guide to the X-Files movie" which is kind of funny because it actually has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and Chris Carter later clarified that it's more of a primer for new fans who want to see the movie. Given how badly X-Files 2 bombed, however, that strategy clearly was a failure. Plus FOX sent this to me a month after release date anyway, so let's ignore the movie tie-in aspect and just focus on the episodes, shall we? »»
Another day, another definitive three disc collection. This is part of the "new format" WWE releases, where they talk about a match and then show it, rather than the more traditional documentary followed by extra matches... »»
Brought to you, as always, by www.stablewars.com, where you can win a copy of my new book every month!
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling - May 31 1986
- Your hosts are Tony & David.
- First up, Big Dust and Baby Doll, and Dusty doesn't know what the hell the Midnight Express is talking about with this "James Boys" stuff and he doesn't care, because he's focused on winning the World title from Ric Flair.»»
So hereâ€™s the deal, boys and girls. Iâ€™m finally upgrading my video game system as my birthday present to myself this year, and although I havenâ€™t decided between PS3 or XBox 360 quite yet, Iâ€™m definitely going with one of them. But being that they donâ€™t give them away free I need to finance this little transaction, and thatâ€™s where you come in. »»
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWF World Tour 1996
- This is one of the last Coliseum videos released, from the low point of the promotion, so I'm a bit worried, but at least it's short. The nebulous theme this month is the lame "Destination Worldwide" one again, which always brings out the worst. I really like the new 24/7 intro screen and ratings screen, though.
- So the idea is that this is a one night tournament in Kuwait, basically a huge bribe from the country to Vince McMahon if I remember the reports at the time correctly.»»
The SmarK DVD Rant for Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
"You know what the 'P.H.' in 'N.P.H.' stands for, don't you?"
"No! Common mistake. It actually stands for 'Poon Handler'."
- Neil Patrick Harris, as Neil Patrick Harris.
If ever there was a movie franchise that knows its audience, it's Harold & Kumar. Their first outing, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, was a mild critical success and a total theatrical flop, but struck a chord with goofy stoners everywhere on DVD, far exceeding its theatrical total when ported to the small screen. The formula was pretty simple: Two charming, everyman actors get into misadventure on what appears to be a simple trip to a burger joint. The true star of that movie was of course Neil Patrick Harris, playing a hilarious twist on his relatively nice-guy image as a womanizing, car stealing, drug snorting wildman in one of the most memorable cameos in recent cinema history. So the sequel seemed to be easy enough to pull off -- just jack up the stakes, add more NPH and vulgarity, and watch the money roll in. Which is exactly what happened.»»
The legendary internet personality Mr. Tito writes...
Years ago, while you were reviewing Star Trek DVD's... I requested the review of Star Trek 2, the Wrath of Khan, especially provided how you reviewed movies 3 through Nemesis. But no Khan, in which I'd argue is potentially the best DVD ever. »»
The SmarK DVD Rant for The Greatest Wrestling Stars of the 80s
- This is one where I'm not sure why I never got around to picking it up, since it's totally up my alley as far as the subject matter goes. Plus a few times now when I've complained about a certain match not being a DVD set, someone has said "Oh, that match is on the Greatest Star of the 80s DVD" and finally I just decided to pick the damn thing up already. That proved to be a bigger challenge than I thought, as I finally found it in stock at Highspots.com. Should have bought it from Wal-Mart last year when they had it for super-cheap.
The concept with this set is that we get 15 mini-bios of 80s legends, ala the Hall of Fame segments on 24/7.
First up, Bobby Heenan, who goes from midcard wrestler to main event manager in the AWA, and of course Steve Lombardi is RIGHT THERE to add his comments.»»
"You stay right there." "There's no hair on her vagina. Do you think she's OK?" - Hank Moody and his daughter discuss the facts of life in their own way. »»
Just before we start, I wanted to mention once again that my new book Dungeon of Death: Chris Benoit and the Hart Family Curse will be hitting bookshelves in November of this year, and in fact you can win a free copy of that book, or copies of my older books, every month just by hitting www.stablewars.com and predicting PPV results correctly. It's free and fun and you can win my stuff, what more do you need?
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling - May 24 1986
- Your hosts are Tony & David
- And yes, Dusty didn't go without a belt for long, as an excited David announces that Dusty and the Road Warriors have won the Six-Man titles from the Russians. Ric Flair immediately puts it into perspective: Yeah, well, he's the World SINGLES champion, the only title people care about. And of course he has to run down Morton's teen fans, Magnum's skinny arms, and Hawk's respirator (for going 30 minutes). I think we just peaked with the first segment.»»
(aka The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Shorties: WarGames part II)
WarGames '91: Ric Flair, Sid Vicious, Barry Windham & Larry Zbyszko v. Brian Pillman, Sting, Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner.
Pillmanâ€™s shoulder is all taped up, due (kayfabe-wise) to a Horsemen attack covered in the pre-match video. Pillman starts with Windham and gets a flying clothesline with the good arm, and uses the roof of the cage for leverage as he takes Windham down with a rana. He chops away in the corner, and headfakes Windham into taking a missile dropkick. He misses a splash, however, but comes back with a low blow. Allâ€™s fair in love and Wargames. Barry hits the cage and starts the blood flowing early, so Brian gives him some extra treatment on the cage. Jawbreaker and he bites the cut and hammers it in the corner. Hiptoss and he goes ground and pound, and back into the cage goes Windham. Pillman goes up with a flying clothesline and another jawbreaker, and he tosses Windham into the second ring and into the cage again. Windham is just selling like nuts for Pillman here. Spinkick puts Windham down and Pillman goes to work on the leg, but Windham comes back and slugs it out with him. Windham tries a piledriver, but Pillman reverses and comes off the top with another shot. The first period expires and the heels win the coin toss (duh), so Flair is in next.»»
The inbox waits for no man, flu or not, so let's clear out the backlog.
With the WWE constantly putting out autobiographies, how come we have never seen one from Vince? Obviously he can skew history the way he wanted and could heel it up or shred anyone he wanted and not have to answer to anybody. I think it would be a good sell depending on either how honest he is or how many people he blasts. What is he waiting for?
I've had people ask me this one before, and the answer I've always heard is that Vince considers the WWE itself to be his autobiography or something. And really, Vince lives 100% of his life to run the company night and day, so it's not like he'd ever have time to sit down and write one. I think it's much more likely that a Shane or Stephanie would write one after he goes completely insane and retires or dies or whatever. If you ever read his Playboy interview, though, you'd realize the kind of bullshit meters you'd have to be using to get to the truth anyway. I'd like to think, however, that if ever such a book did take place, the cover photo would feature the most sales-friendly and awe-inspiring pose possible: 1970s huge-collared Vince interviewing 1990s Zubaz-pants wearing Vince. On the set of the XFL press conference from 2001. He'd make MILLIONS.»»
- Hey, it's another show I've never seen, so now's as good a time as any to watch it, I guess.
- Live from the Hammerstein Ballroom. This one's certainly got the ECW look down pat. And with the entire show being done in one part on 24/7, the picture is pretty shitty as well, really adding to the low-rent ambiance that ECW put forth so well.
- Your hosts are Joey Styles & Tazz.
- Paul Heyman comes out and cuts a promo thanking the fans for bringing ECW back to life, although his tune would change when he'd get fired yet again a few weeks later and his creation turned into the joke it is today.»»
I'm doing a 180 from my original look at this series, as the light-hearted tone and impressive presentation of the DVD won me over and made me into a fan of the show. Too late to save it, of course, as it was cancelled by the Cartoon Network and died off well before this DVD set came out, but for those who missed it (which is most people), it's well worth a look for comic fans as long as you don't take it seriously, much like the creators didn't. »»
First up, a question via MSN, as blog reader Cheeselog remembers Randy Savage & Sherri confronting Elizabeth during an interview segment after Wrestlemania V, but I don't. Can anyone else recall this and have YouTube footage, perhaps?
On with the mailbag questions...»»
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for War Games!
Well you knew I'd be all over this. The theme this is month is something or other to do with hardcore, but who gives a shit because the upshot is that they're showing ALL of the Wargames matches from 87-2000 during this month. Hells yeah. First up: 87, 89, 92, 93 and 95.»»
BREAKING NEWS! Several people e-mailed me the Mr. Perfect DVD lineup, and it's not terribly exciting. The Bockwinkel match is a good inclusion, although at 60:00 it eats up a big chunk of the DVD time. But really, THREE Bret Hart matches? The Uncensored match was just on 24/7 and it's nothing special. Still, it's only a two disc set because Hennig isn't the A-list guy, so you can only expect so much here.»»
The SmarK Rant for WWE Night of Champions 2008
- Really, you'd think that "Clash of Champions" would have been a better name. I think it's an interesting idea to try to put more focus on the titles by making every match here a title match, but it kind of defeats the purpose when there's so many titles that you can do a whole PPV of title matches in the first place.
- Live from Dallas, TX
- Your hosts are many and varied.»»
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Champions of the AWA
- I can't remember if I ever saw this one when they were doing the lame AWA "best of" stuff on PPV years back, but it's short so what the heck. The connection with the Gold theme is pretty obvious.
- Hosted by Gene Okerlund, so it's obviously part of that series.
Madusa v. Sherri Martel. From May of 1987. Sherri would have been champion at this point, but this isn't a title match. Madusa's hair is teased beyond belief here. Madusa overpowers Sherri to start and Sherri runs away and seeks refuge with Kevin Kelly. Back in, Madusa takes her down with an armbar. Sherri reverses and works on a headscissors, but Madusa pounds the arm and takes her down for two. Madusa cranks on the arm and pounds away on the ropes, then grabs a headlock. A really bad dropkick gets two. Madusa was clearly super-green at this point. Sherri knees her out of the corner and follows with a small package for two. Weak clothesline gets two. Sherri rams her into the corner for two. Jackknife cradle gets two, but Madusa suddenly no-sells and comes back with a slam for two. Sherri goes low and it's a draw at 7:35. That's a pretty short draw. Madusa was just brutal here, but Sherri held it together well enough. *1/2 Sherri never lost the title, giving it up to jump to the WWF and leaving Madusa to win it in a bogus tournament months later.»»
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling - May 17 1986
- Man, another short show this week. Weren't the Braves usually out of contention by May anyway?
- Your hosts are Tony & David.
- Jim Cornette immediately butts in, offering the "Mama Cass Elliot Workout Tape" to Baby Doll and ranting extra-loud this week about the James Boys and rednecks in general. Man, he's one to talk.»»
So with the HD package I subscribed to came a free preview of all the HD channels for two months, which meant WGN HD and thus I could watch Smackdown in all it's HHHD glory if I wanted. But then Vickie Guerrero came on in 1080i and scared the shit out of me so I stopped watching and switched to HDNet for Inside MMA instead. Granted Bas Rutten looks scary as well at that resolution, but he's supposed to.
On with the letters...»»