Inside Pulse » Mark Henry A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Sun, 01 Feb 2015 20:49:53 +0000 en-US hourly 1 A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Inside Pulse no A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Inside Pulse » Mark Henry WWE Survivor Series LIVE Results Mon, 24 Nov 2014 00:23:47 +0000 Hey everyone, Justin C here to bring you live coverage of WWE Survivor Series tonight. There may only be five matches on the card, but it sounds like we are in store for some pretty big surprises tonight. Follow along with me!

I’m a little late to the preshow, but apparently Fandango with Rosa Mendes beat Justin Gabriel. The New Fandango is apparently just a salsa dancer instead of a ballroom dancer. So there’s that.

Bad News Barrett came out. He talked about the stipulations and said that while John Cena not being fired if he loses may be good for him, he’s got some BAD NEWS. He said the Authority will make his life a living hell if he loses and he would wish that he was fire. Barrett then said that if The Authority loses, the WWE would flourish under the new era of Bad News Barrett.

Jack Swagger vs Cesaro

Cesaro came out, he talked about how he is a proud Swiss son. He said throughout history Switzerland has remained neutral. But tonight, he sides with Team Authority. Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger came out. He said they sided with Team Cena and that Cesaro was brown nosing.

Some basic mat wrestling to start before Cesaro caught Swagger with a knee then a gut wrench slam for two. Swagger caught Cesaro with the Patriot Lock but Cesaro was able to escape. Cesaro moved out of the way of a charge and Swagger went into the post. Cesaro then hit a German suplex. Cesaro connected on another German then a belly-to-belly for two. Cesaro connected on an elbow drop for two then went to a headlock. Swagger escaped. Cesaro went for another belly-to-belly but Swagger counted to a German suplex of his own. Swagger hit a chop block then went for a Swagger Bomb. Cesaro put his feet up but Swagger applied the Patriot Lock. Cesaro escaped, then hit two German suplexes. He went for a third, but Swagger countered into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro tapped.

WINNER: Jack Swagger

JC’s Thoughts: Ho hum match. It really seems like Cesaro is just going through the motions at this point. I don’t like Swagger appearing on the show but being too injured to wrestle on Team Cena in the main event.

Vince McMahon was shown entering the building as the pre-show ended.

Vince came out to start the show. He guaran-damn-teed that this would be a Survivor Series no one would forget. He then welcomed out Triple H and Stephanie. Stephanie thanked her dad for giving them such a wonderful opportunity tonight and said she knows they will make him proud tonight. Triple H tried sucking up a bit but Vince then called out John Cena. Cena asked The Authority if they lose tonight if they will leave on their own or will he have to throw them out. HHH then asked how is it going to feel to know that he is personally responsible for the firing of four people. He said when they are fired, they are going to get ignored and be completely forgotten about. Steph said that if they lose they may not be in charge of RAW and Smackdown every week, but they will still be in charge of the show from their office in Connecticut. Vince said that isn’t exactly what he had in mind. Vince said they won’t have any influence over the careers of WWE superstars and that the only person that could ever bring them back into power. Steph then sucked up to her dad thinking it would be him, but Vince said the only person who could bring them back to power is John Cena. Vince said that is how much confidence he had in them. Steph said that will just give them even more thrill when they beat them tonight. Cena said there would be no chance in hell they will be back in power when his team wins tonight.

JC’s Thoughts: So you start off a free show and make it seem like it is nothing more than a RAW? Weak. And the fact that they are still just revealing details of the stipulations of the match on the day of the show just makes it seem like more of a mess of booking. Did HHH and Steph not read the contract before they signed it?

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Goldust and Stardust (c) vs Miz and Mizdow vs The Usos vs Los Matadores

Stardust and Fernando started. Stardust hit a kick but Fernando took him down with a leg sweep. Stardust hit an armdrag. Miz tagged himself in and went for a rollup but got two. Fernando took control and tagged in Diego as Mizdow sold as well on the outside. Miz went to the top but Diego tossed him off. Mizdow also jumped in the ring. The distraction allowed Miz to hit a backbreaker but Diego threw Miz into the Usos corner and one of them came in. Jey and Diego exchanged chest slaps. Stardust tagged himself in and pulled the rope down on Jey, causing him to go over the top.

Stardust slammed Jey’s head into the apron then tagged in Goldust. Goldust landed some punches in the corner then tagged Stardust back in. Stardust hit a face first suplex and teased tagging in Mizdow but didn’t. Miz tagged himself in. Jey escaped Miz and tagged in Diego. He hit a backstabber. Goldust clotheslined Diego and Miz hit the corner clothesline. Mizdow went for one of his own but Goldust tagged himself in. Goldust pushed Diego into his corner then tagged in Stardust. Goldust came in and tossed Diego to the outside and kicked him around. Goldust hit an elbow off the second rope. Stardust came back in and hit a clothesline and went for a running powerslam, but it was countered into a DDT. Goldust got the tag as well as Jimmy Uso. Jimmy knocked Miz off the apron and hit a Samoan drop. Jimmy hit his butt splash and Jey hit another. They super kicked everyone in the match. One Matador pulled Jimmy out of the ring. This allowed Goldust to hit a quick powerslam for two.

Jey recovered and hit an enziguri kick. Both Usos then hit dueling dives. Stardust then hit a springboard off the second rope. El Torrito was tossed to the outside and both Matadores hit dives. Back in the ring Los Matadores and the Dust Brothers hit one of those tower moves. Jey came back in and hit a splash, but Miz tagged himself in while Jimmy was on the apron. Miz tossed Jimmy to the outside. Mizdow tagged himself in and got the pin.

WINNERS AND NEW Tag Team Champions: Miz and Mizdow

JC’s Take: Okay match. Somewhat slow throughout before the big cluster of a finish at the end that just came out of nowhere. Miz celebrated with both belts so it will just be a matter of time before the breakup. Fun finishing sequence at the end but the match was kind of disappointing for the most part.

Backstage The Bunny and Adam Rose were playing with WWE action figures. The Bunny won. Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater came in. They made fun of them. It lead to a tag match later.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae and Layla vs Natalya, Naomi, Emma and Alicia Fox

Paige dominated Natalya before Layla missed an elbow and she tagged in Emma. Emma and Layla exchanged near falls. Paige came back in and landed some knees to Emma. Paige took Emma to the top but Emma is the one who hit a suplex. Cameron came in and dominated Emma. Emma escaped an armbar and tagged in Namoi. All of the Divas ended up fighting in the ring. Naomi rolled up Cameron and eliminated her.

***Cameron eliminated***

Naomi caught Summer Rae with a kick. Natalya tagged in but Summer Rae knocked her off the apron. Alicia Fox tagged in and hit some dropkicks. Alicia screamed at Summer Rae. This apparently scared her enough to tag in Layla. Layla hit a crossbody but Alicia countered and hit a backbreaker to eliminate Layla.

***Layla eliminated***

Natalya tagged in and hit a clothesline but Paige caught Natalya with a kick and tagged in. Summer Rae stopped a Sharpshooter attempt and tagged in. Emma also came in and applied the Dilemma. She hit the Emmamite Sandwich then made Summer Rae tap out.

***Summer Rae eliminated***

After Paige dominated Emma for a bit, Emma was able to block a kick and tag in Natalya. Paige caught Natalya with a kick, but Paige came right back with a German suplex. Natalya escaped and tagged in Naomi. Alicia distracted Paige. Namoi hit the rear view and then a head scissors slam to the mat for the win.

WINNERS and SURVIVORS: Natalya, Alicia Fox, Emma and Naomi

JC’s Thoughts: Nothing to write home about. Next

Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt

The match started with both men exchanging punches. Bray caught Ambrose with a shot to the throat. Ambrose came back with more punches and kicks but Bray connected on another right hand. Ambrose came back with a crossbody. They went to the outside where Ambrose clotheslined Bray. Ambrose hit a punch off the apron. Back in the ring Bray tossed himself into Ambrose. Bray went for a clothesline but Ambrose followed him into the corner and hit one of his own. Ambrose went for a dive through the ropes but Bray caught him with a right hand then tossed him into the steps.

Back in the ring Bray hit a suplex followed by a backsplash. Ambrose escaped a full nelson and went for a crossbody but Bray stopped his momentum. Bray charged at Ambrose on the outside but they double clotheslined each other. Ambrose started a comeback back in the ring and hit a bulldog. Ambrose hit a knee to the gut then dropkicked Bray in the ropes and followed it up with a legdrop. Ambrose went to the top but Bray caught him with an uppercut. Ambrose blocked the suplex attempt and headbutted Bray off. Bray caught Ambrose off the top and after an exchange hit Ambrose with his chokeslam. Bray went to the top but Ambrose moved out of the way of his backdrop. Dean bounced off the ropes and hit his clothesline and then an elbow off the top for two. Ambrose went off the ropes again but Bray caught him with a hard clothesline. Bray slammed Ambrose on the steps on the outside but only got a two back in the ring.

Bray grabbed the mic and asked Dean why he was doing this. He said they could have ruled the world together and no one could have stopped them. He said Dean chose the wrong path then caught him with an uppercut. Bray brought a chair in the ring but Dean took it and Bray begged him to use it. After some thought, Dean used the chair and hit Bray in the gut then the back. He then hit Dirty Deeds on the chair. Ambrose the brought a table into the ring and elbow dropped Bray through it. Dean brought another table in and put it on Bray and slammed a chair into it. Dean then threw a handful of chairs onto Bray. Dean then set a ladder up and stood on it to end everything.

WINNER via DQ: Bray Wyatt

JC’s Take: The match was good and then the ending happened. I get that Dean is a lunatic and does whatever he wants, and doesn’t care about wins or losses, but the end just seemed a bit anti-climactic to me. I knew this feud was extending, and they obviously foreshadowed what will be happening with the next PPV. Good match but the ending was a bit of a letdown, at least for me.

Backstage, Triple H gave a pep talk to Team Authority.

Adam Rose and The Bunny vs Slator Gator

The Bunny was ready to start the match but Adam Rose tagged himself in. Slator took out Rose with a dropkick. O’Neil came in and hit some backbreakers. Rose escaped and The Bunny got the hot tag. He hit a dropkick off the second rope and pinned Slater to pick up the win.

WINNERS: Adam Rose and The Bunny

Roman Reigns was interviewed. He said if he was there he would make it reign bitch. JBL asked him about Seth Rollins. He said it doesn’t matter who is in power to him. He said around this time next month, Roman Reigns will be back.

Now it was time for John Cena to give his pep talk to his team.

Divas Championship: AJ (c) vs Nikki Bella (w/Brie)

Brie stood on the apron with the Divas Title. AJ walked over to Brie and Brie kissed her. AJ turned around and walked right into Nikki’s punch. Nikki then hit the Rack Attack for the win.

WINNER and NEW Divas Champion: Nikki Bella

JC’s Take: Well, time to see if those rumors about AJ leaving are actually true.

Team Cena vs Team Authority

Big Show and Mark Henry started the match. Henry talked smack to Show then charged at him, but ran right into a KO Punch.

***Mark Henry Eliminated***

Luke Harper came off the apron to distract Big Show, but Rollins came in. Rollins went to the top but ate a slap to the chest. Kane tagged in but Big Show laid on some punches. Cena came in and did the same. Cena hit a dropkick but Kane came back with a right hand. Luke Harper and Erik Rowan each tagged in. They stared each other down but Rollins tagged himself in. Rowan put Rollins in a headlock and rammed him into the turnbuckle. Rowan hit a bodyslam and tagged in Ryback. Ryback slammed Rollins into the corner. Harper tagged himself in but ate a suplex. Kane came in and landed some rights but Ryback connected on a Lou Thesz press and splash. Rusev tagged in and both men exchanged punches. Ryback hit a spinebuster. He hit the Meathook clothesline and went for Shell Shocked but Rusev escaped and Ryback ate a boot from Kane. Everyone started brawling outside. Ryback ate a Curb Stomp from Rollins then a superkick from Rusev and was pinned.

***Ryback Eliminated***

Rusev ran right into a Big Show boot. He went for a chokeslam but Rusev tagged in Harper. Show slammed Harper into the corner a few times but ate a Harper dropkick. The heels took their turns working over Big Show before he tagged in Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler went to work on Harper but Harper came back with a black hole slam. Now it was the heels turn to work over Ziggler. After every heel had their chance to beat down Ziggler, he finally hit a DDT on Rusev. Everyone hit a signature spot. Rollins was tossed over the top on to the Authority. Rusev then caught Ziggler and tossed him onto everyone outside. Rusev started taking apart the Spanish announce table and went to splash Ziggler through it, but Ziggler moved. Mercury and Noble tried picking up Rusev and putting him back in the ring but they couldn’t. Rusev was counted out.

***Rusev Eliminated***

Kane went for a chokeslam but Ziggler escaped and tagged in Cena who went into CENAMODE. Cena hit the AA but Rollins came in and hit the Curb Stomp on Cena. Harper and Rowan were each tagged in and they went to blows. Rowan tossed Harper into the corner and hit a splash. Rowan ducked the Harper clothesline and hit a spin kick. Kane went for a chokeslam. Rollins came off the top and hit a flying knee and Harper hit the clothesline to score the pin.

***Erik Rowan Eliminated***

All the heels stared down Big Show, who turned and hit the KO Punch on John Cena. Cena was pinned and eliminated.

***JOHN CENA Eliminated***

Big Show walked off and was counted out.

***Big Show Eliminated***

Dolph Ziggler was on the outside and could barely get up. Kane tossed him into the barricade. Back in the ring the heels took their turns working over Ziggler again. Kane went for a suplex off the top but Ziggler knocked him off and hit a crossbody. A superkick and ZigZag and Ziggler gets the pin.

***Kane Eliminated***

Luke Harper came in and hit a boot to the face of Ziggler, sending him to the outside. Harper hit a dive through the ropes. Back in the ring Harper hit a superkick but got two. Harper hit a sit down powerbomb but only got two again. Harper went for the clothesline but Ziggler ducked and rolled up Harper to get the pin.

***Luke Harper Eliminated***

Seth Rollins hoped in and went to work. He tossed Ziggler into the barricade again. Ziggler tried a quick roll up but only got two. Ziggler then hit a DDT for two. Rollins hit the corner power bomb for two. Rollins went to the top. Ziggler met him there but he was knocked down. Rollins missed a Curb Stomp and Ziggler came back with a Fameasser for two. Ziggler went for a Fameasser but Rollins held the ropes. Ziggler took out Noble and Mercury and hit the ZigZag, bur HHH pulled the ref out of the ring. Ziggler tossed Mercury and Noble into Steph. Ziggler hit another ZigZag but HHH stopped the new ref from counting. HHH beatdown Ziggler and ended up hitting a Pedigree. Scott Armstrong came out but the lights went out and STING came to the ring. Sting took out Armstrong. Sting and HHH stared each other down in the ring. HHH swung at Sting but Sting ducked and punched HHH. Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop on HHH. Sting then rolled Ziggler onto Rollins and the original ref came in and counted the pin, giving Team Cena the win.

***Seth Rollins Eliminated***

WINNERS: Team Cena (Dolph Ziggler Is The Sole Survivor)

After the match Triple H and Steph were shocked in the ring. The crowd sang “Goodbye” and chanted “You Got Fired” as Steph threw a tantrum as HHH tried to calm her down.

JC’s Thoughts: Well where to begin. The problems I had were Mark Henry hitting the KO Punch on Mark Henry if he was just going to turn anyways. And Ryback being eliminated so quickly after being hyped up. The positives? Ziggler getting the win as the sole survivor. Kudos to the WWE for pulling that off. And Sting’s debut was great. The ultimate good guy comes in and stands up to the Authority. The match itself was good as well. Strong ending to the show that will have people talking.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results For 11/17/14: Final Push For Survivor Series Tue, 18 Nov 2014 00:45:44 +0000 It’s the final RAW before Survivor Series. Who will be the final person to join Team Cena? We also have Grumpy Cat as the guest host, so expect a lot of bad “comedy” segments tonight.

Continuity in the WWE?

Team Authority came to the ring to start the show. Triple H talked about Vince’s announcement from a few weeks ago and how everyone there probably wants them out of power. Triple H said that they are now seen as the evil empire, but the audience couldn’t see what they do for them because they are just sheep. HHH said they would rather have the inmates run the asylum, but the last time that happened was in WCW. And they bought them at auction. Triple H said that there is no way the Authority is losing this Sunday.

Steph said that despite their attempts to get through to Team Cena, they have failed. So tonight, Team Cena will be decimated. And tonight they will have the biggest contract signing in WWE history. Steph then went down their team and then talked about Ryback. As she was talking about him, Ryback came out. Ryback said he wants what is best for Ryback. Steph said that she respects that. She said tensions ran a little high last week, and they made decisions they made regret. Kane said he regrets what transpired. Steph said Cena doesn’t respect Ryback, then played a clip from their feud last year with Cena running down Ryback. Steph said it was clear that Cena was jealous of the Big Guy. She said does Ryback want the contempt of Team Cena or the respect of Team Authority. He said he plays for the one team he can count on, and that’s Team Ryback. Ryback walked away. Triple H then said that the decimation of Team Cena starts now as Luke Harper would fight Dolph Ziggler.

I Feel Bad For The IC Belt Now

The match is apparently now for the Intercontinental Title. Before the match, Mercury and Noble attacked Ziggler. Ziggler tried fighting them off but Rollins came in and hit Ziggler with the MITB Briefcase. Ziggler slowly got up and demanded the ref ring the bell. Harper caught Ziggler with a boot but only got a two count. Harper then hit a sit down powerbomb for two. Harper then went for a boot in the corner but Ziggler moved and Harper went over the top into commercial.

Back from break Ziggler escaped a suplex but caught a right hand from Harper. Harper did the Gator roll and went to a headlock, but Dolph escaped with a jawbreaker. Ziggler moved out of the way of a charge in the corner and Harper went into the post. Ziggler hit a Fameasser for two. Harper blocked a super kick and Ziggler hit a blackhole slam for two. Harper went for his clothesline but Ziggler caught him with a superkick for two. Harper went for the powerbomb but Dolph escaped. He popped up off the mat but walked right into Harper’s finishing clothesline giving Harper the win and the IC Title.

WINNER and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Luke Harper

After the match, Seth Rollins hit the Curb Stomp on Dolph Ziggler.

A Kofi Kingston new day promo aired.

A Grumpy Cat/Miz and Mizdow segment aired.

Tyson Kidd beat Adam Rose with the Sharpshooter. The Bunny was flirting with Natalya and that distracted Rose. The Bunny tried apologizing after the match. Rose went to attack the Bunny but the Bunny moved and dry humped Rose.

Using Pre Tapes To Your Advantage

Bray Wyatt came out. He talked about how everything you love can be ripped away from you at the drop of the hat. And a man that has nothing to lose is the most dangerous man in this world. He said everyday for Dean Ambrose is a pathetic way to express himself. He will always be alone. Bray said he hopes Dean doesn’t mistake his generosity for something malignant. Bray said he comes in peace. Bray said the momentary suffering was a gift. Bray said he wants Dean to see the salvation he can offer. Bray told Dean to embrace him.

Dean Ambrose appeared on the tron. He said Bray’s words are like nails on a chalkboard. Dean said he was trying to understand Bray. Dean said he has a magic trick of his own. Dean then said that he recorded this earlier today on his friend’s cell phone and he is out in the arena right now. The lights turned on and Ambrose appeared in the ring and attacked Bray. Dean said he doesn’t need any saving, and at Survivor Series Bray needs to worry about saving himself.

A TWO Segment Not That Bad Ryback Match

Ryback vs Cesaro. Ryback connected on a bodyslam and splash for two. Ryback hit a suplex but Cesaro came back with one of his own. Ryback came back with a Lou Thesz press and went for some punches in the corner but Cesaro powerbombed Ryback. Cesaro hit a body stomp then went to a headlock. Ryback fought out but Cesaro came back with a clothesline over the top.

Back from break Ryback caught Cesaro coming off the top and hit a belly to belly suplex. Ryback readied for the Meathook but Cesaro rolled out to the apron. Ryback tossed him back in and hit a splash off the second rope. Ryback went for Shell Shocked but Cesaro escaped and hit a German suplex. Ryback escaped but Cesaro tossed him into the ringpost and hit three more German suplexes. Cesaro went to the top and hit an elbow drop for two. Cesaro charged at Ryback but Ryback caught him and hit a press slam into a powerslam for two. Ryback went for the Meathook again but Cesaro hit an uppercut then tossed Ryback in the air and hit another uppercut but only got two. Ryback recovered and hit a clothesline then followed it up with Shell Shocked for the win.

WINNER: Ryback

John Cena was interviewed and he said all he can hope is that his team perseveres through tonight and gets to Survivor Series.

Lana talked about having a topless photo of her own like Kim Kardashian and then showed a picture of Vladimir Putin instead. Heath Slater came out in a red, white and blue outfit and told Lana to shut up. He said he was going to kick Rusev’s ass, but instead went right into a superkick and then the Accolade.

Backstage, Miz and Mizdow were with Grumpy Cat. Erik Rowan came in and said he wanted the cat, then grabbed the stuffed animal Mizdow had.

John Cena: Worst Team Leader Ever

Stephanie McMahon came out to talk to Big Show. She said she should listen to his bosses more often and not be so flippy-floppy like he has been his whole career. She said that if he walks away from Team Cena the Authority will make him the first active member of the Hall of Fame. The crowd chanted no but Steph said to not listen to the people that have got him in trouble before. Show told her no. Sheamus said he looks forward to next week when the only way he will see Steph and HHH is if they buy a ticket. Steph said that its a good thing Sheamus is here because there was an issue with his passport earlier today and he might have to get deported. Steph then said Sheamus and Big Show would fight each other with the winner getting the opportunity for a WWE Title match.

A ref came down and the match started. They exchanged blows early on. Big Show tossed Sheamus over the top and he landed on the apron. Show then tossed Sheamus over the barricade into commercial. Back from break Big Show hit a bodyslam. Show hit three more bodyslams then followed it up with an elbow. Sheamus escaped a submission and started a comeback but went right into a Big Show boot. Show then caught Sheamus with a Spear but Sheamus escaped a chokeslam and hit White Noise for two. Show blocked a Brogue Kick and hit a chokeslam for two. Sheamus dropped Big Show off the second rope.

Rusev and Mark Henry then walked to the ring. Rusec kicked Sheamus out of the ring, causing a DQ. Mark Henry then hit the World’s Strongest Slam on Sheamus through the announce table as Rusev applied the Accolade in the ring.

Brie Bella dressed as AJ beat Nikki in an exhibition match after AJ distracted Nikki. Nikki berated Brie after the match before AJ attacked her and then also took out Brie.

A Big E New Day Promo aired.

John Cena tried to talk Ryback into joining his team. Cena said that it sucks that the man who wants to get fed more doesn’t want to step up to the table and get fed when given the opportunity.

8 Man Tag: The Usos and Los Matadores vs Miz/Mizdow and the Dust Brothers. Miz went to work on one of the Matadors then tagged in Goldust. The Matador hit a hurricarrana on Miz then Mizdow came in and just flipped himself over tin the ring. Los Matadores then hit dives to the outside on the Dust brothers. The heels continued to work over the Matador back from break. The heels continuously teased tags to Mizdow until he finally tagged himself in, only for the Miz to tag himself back in. The Matador eventually made the hot tag to an Uso. A big mess at the end that saw an Uso accidentally kick a Matador, then Stardust hitting his finisher to pick up the win.


The Authority came out for the contract signing. Triple H said they had no idea what this is like for them. Triple H said that everything about them is about this. He said this is the air they breathe and they do this for their family. He said they can’t and won’t lose. He said this is the last chance for everyone on Team Cena to back out, because if they don’t then they wish they had come Sunday. Steph then asked whatever is left of Team Cena to come out.

John Cena came to the ring by himself. Triple H said he can’t see the rest of his team. He said this Sunday everyone is going to see Team Authority lose and lose power. Steph said Sheamus is already in the hospital and out for this Sunday and no one is going to join him in his crusade. Cena said he sees what’s going on. Every week they come out here and bore the people to death. He said that he will find a team to compete this Sunday even if he has to pick them out of the crowd. Cena said at least whoever he picks for his team will have a love for the WWE unlike Team Authority. Cena ran down every member of Team Authority with some lame joke. Cena said Steph was going to end up cleaning toilets after this Sunday then slapped Cena.

Cena was ready to fight everyone but Dolph Ziggler came out to join him. Big Show then joined. Erik Rowan then came out to join Team Cena to the surprise of Luke Harper. Cesaro then came out and looked to be siding with Team Cena, but jokingly went over to The Authority then just left. Ryback then came out and joined Team Cena and the brawl started. Cena went to AA Rollins but Triple H stopped him. Ryback then came into the ring to stare down HHH. This allowed Cena to recover and AA Triple H through the table as Team Cena stood tall to close the show.


Ryback vs Cesaro: I liked this match. Ryback held his own in the ring and Cesaro did a good job as well working a good match with Ryback. If Ryback is going to get over with the audience then he needs to start working longer matches like this and this was a good start. It’s a shame Cesaro’s talents aren’t more recognized.

Luke Harper as Intercontinental Champion: I think Luke Harper is going to be something special for the WWE in the future. He’s a big man who can work. The match could have used a little bit of build, but at least it fit in the sense from a storyline perspective with The Authority wanting to take out Team Cena. I’m guessing there will be a rematch down the line, and hopefully they get some time. The short match that we got was good.

New Day Promos: I’m saying I like these for one of two reasons: 1. I hope they are just being used to promote Smackdown moving to Thursday and are just a big troll job from the WWE. 2. I hope they are the opposite of what happened with Brodus Clay. They look like they are for a corny gimmick and instead these three come out as a new heel faction and get a big push. All three guys could handle the push and I want to see some new guys at the top.


Opening Segment: For a second there I thought I was watching a rerun from a RAW in 2003 or 2004. It was just a really long Triple H promo that just kept repeating itself over and over and didn’t seem to have a point. I long for the days that RAW doesn’t have to start like that anymore.

Big Show vs Sheamus: First off I didn’t like the setup for the match. Why should these two faces believe anything that Stephanie McMahon says? Didn’t The Authority say that their goal tonight was to take out Team Cena? Then the match itself was bad and just didn’t have any flow to it at all.

This show didn’t really do a good job of selling Survivor Series. And the wrestling action on the show wasn’t that great as well. The beginning and end promos just weren’t good and was the typical Triple H/John Cena continuously rambling promos. With Triple H you didn’t know what the point was and with John Cena it was just his typical terrible comedy. If you were on the fence about Survivor Series I don’t think this show did anything to change your mind. I’m going with a 3 for the show for the three things I liked above.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka×250.jpg

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DVD Review: WWE Attitude Era Vol. 2 Sun, 16 Nov 2014 02:26:10 +0000 Attitude Era Vol 2 Review

Just in case you didn’t know what the Attitude Era was, WWE nicely kicks off this DVD with a bikini competition between Sunny, Sable, Marlena and the Funkettes. But it’s not just a clip of the competition but there’s an introduction by Sunny herself talking about how the WWF was changing from the uber-safe, bloomer-wearing, G-rated WWF to the more loose and thong-bearing Attitude Era.

One of the best segments including on Disc 1 is DX’s “invasion” of New York City. It’s a great pre-taped segment that aired on RAW in 1998. Unfortunately this is the edited version from the broadcast and not the unedited version that was released on VHS around this time but the segment still hold up and is still as funny today. This shows Road Dogg in his improvisational glory & Triple H as his typical sarcastic (& somewhat racist) self.

An interview with Jerry Lawler reveals that it was actually Road Dogg Jesse James who came up with the term “puppies”. While he says he’s not a perverted guy (*wink*), he does think that the lack of respect and glorification of the Divas really helped their success during the Attitude Era. This is followed, of course, by Sable’s unforgettable “hand print” bikini. Definitely not something you’d see on WWE TV today.

The Godfather tells exactly how his character was born. While the Nation of Domination was being used to build up The Rock, he and D-Lo Brown weren’t doing very much. So instead of coming to ringside every week in black tights, he started wearing his normal street attire – his “Godfather” hat, black vests, gold chains & jewelry. A fan shouted one night, “Godfather, you look like a pimp!” His wife heard about this and completely created the “Pimping ain’t easy!” Godfather character. She designed his ring attire, his vests and even made the glasses he used to wear. It’s incredible that someone’s wife would be the one to not only support but encourage their husband to portray a pimp and walk out with random hot women every week on worldwide television.

I’m not going to spoil anymore of the great stories on this DVD set but some include how Sexual Chocolate came to be (& who thought it would never work), how the superstars felt about getting a “bloodbath” and what it was made of plus how Trish Stratus’ WWE career could have been derailed well before it got off the ground. Some of the great matches featured on the set are the New Age Outlaws vs Chainsaw Charlie & Cactus Jack, a Casket Match between The Rock & The Undertaker, a European Championship match between Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle and Tazz, Eddie Guerrero vs Dean Malenko and The Rock & Lita versus Triple H & Trish Stratus.

The set includes a ton of good matches I’ve long forgotten and vignettes that could fill a full DVD set on its own! I’m normally not a fan of match compilation sets but Attitude Era Vol. Two is able to weave new stories from past performers, Attitude Era vignettes and interesting wrestling matches together in a way that you felt you were getting an entertaining history lesson into the WWE’s most popular era.×120-2013.jpg

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Harrak’s Thoughts: WWE RAW 11.10.14 (John Cena, Ryback, Seth Rollins, Luke Harper) Tue, 11 Nov 2014 15:17:24 +0000 WWE Raw Header - 2014

#1~ I never thought I would put Ryback in the headline of a RAW report again. It’s amazing what removing a beanie that makes you look like a steroid-pump condom can do for a guy.

#1 ~ Ryback, Mark Henry, Triple H, Kane and John Cena opened RAW. Yea that really makes me want to stay awake for the rest of this show. Not to mention that suddenly Jack Swagger is relevant again.

#2~ Ah it seems that Stephanie McMahon heard the online criticism of last week’s “Vladimir Putin” line from Lana. At least this interaction felt more like how things would happen backstage (even the tongue-in-cheek comment about politics in the WWE).

#3~ Did Jerry Lawler “sincerely apologize” to anyone who was offended by Sheamus interrupting the Russian national anthem? This is becoming ridiculous. When did Russia become so sensitive when it came to PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?!

#4~ Alright, alright if this “New Day” group DOES consist of Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston & Big E then it might work. I still don’t like Woods trying to pull off Ernest Miller’s gimmick but I get it considering the theme of the whole group.

#5~ “You’re still good-looking. That counts for something, right?” – Awesome line from the Big Show & I’m really surprised it didn’t break Dolph’s character. Well maybe it did and they did a reshoot. Who knows…

#6~ That “pep-talk” from Stephanie sounded EXACTLY like one she gave during the Invasion angle. Just a little less screechy and more mom-like.

#7~ Thank you, Bray Wyatt for finally finding your way back. This angle with Dean Ambrose seems to have reinvigorated Wyatt. That promo was a throwback to his debut and not typical swill that we’ve been hearing lately. Now for them to deliver at Survivor Series in what will be the first of a few matches.

#8~ The addition of Luke Harper would be fantastic. Harper will surprise the majority of people with how his singles’ run plays out. Sure he might not be off to the greatest start if WWE focuses in on a “crazy eyes” gimmick. But the former Brodie Lee was one of the first guys the WWE signed after CM Punk & Daniel Bryan that really had an underground following. Wrestling everywhere from CHIKARA to Ring Of Honor, Harper’s ability and move set are far wider than what we’ve seen so far on WWE TV. His first singles’ push on the main roster should showcase a lot of what Luke Harper has to offer and Survivor Series should be a great start.×120-2013.jpg

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WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results For 11/10/14: RAW in the UK Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:48:07 +0000 Tonight RAW takes place from England. Who will join Team Cena? Who will join Team Authority? Announced for tonight is John Cena vs Ryback. Remember, every time you read the spoilers the WWE will come up with a new, stupid guest host for each show.

Everyone Wants To Feed Ryback More

After a recap of last week’s events John Cena came out. Cena talked about the importance of Survivor Series in two weeks and how The Authority is making it impossible for him to field a team. He talked about the injuries to Zack Ryder and Randy Orton. He said that he has been able to put together a team of two former World Heavyweight Champions: Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. Cena talked about Ziggler being held down by the Authority and if it were up to him he would have Ziggler on the show all the time. Cena then talked about Ryback and invited him to the ring to talk about joining Team Cena.

Ryback came out and said the Big Guy is back. The Authority immediately interrupted. They brought Mark Henry out with them. Steph said these people are used to being ruled by monarchs. HHH talked about everything being on the line at Survivor Series, and he damn well is making sure people are scared to join his team at Survivor Series. HHH said that since the stakes have been raised then the game has been changed. HHH said it would be career suicide to join Team Cena. And at the end of the day, the Authority always wins. HHH talked about Cena’s team and chuckled at the mention of Jack Swagger and called Dolph Ziggler a tiny little guy who won’t make it to Survivor Series. Cena said HHH said the same thing about Daniel Bryan and he beat HHH’s ass at Wrestlemania. Steph said everything Cena is saying is propaganda. She said if Ryback joined Team Authority he could have so many more main event opportunities. She said they are putting together the biggest, baddest Survivor Series team ever. HHH talked about giving Ryback MORE. Cena said it doesn’t matter if he has a full team at Survivor Series because at least he won’t go down as a sellout. Cena told Ryback to look at the Authority’s track record and if he screws up just once with them he is done. Ryback said he isn’t afraid of The Authority, but he also doesn’t see John Cena’s name at the bottom of his paycheck. Ryback then hit a spinebuster on Cena.

Seriously, Swagger??

Jack Swagger vs Seth Rollins. Swagger gained early control with a headlock. The hold was broke but Rollins landed a cheap shot and went on offense with some kicks. Swagger started a comeback with some shoulder tackles then Rollins bailed to the outside. Back in the ring Rollins gained the upper hand. He went for a suplex but Swagger blocked it and hit one of his own. Swagger hit a leg drop then went to an armbar. Rollins escaped and cameback with a dropkick. Swagger recovered and slammed Rollins into the turnbuckle a few times. Swagger went for the Swagger Bomb but Rollins bailed to the outside into commercial.

Rollins had control back from break and landed some kicks on Swagger. Rollins threw Swagger into the ropes but Swagger stopped himself then tossed Rollins over the top. Swagger started a comeback and hit a Swagger Bomb for two. Rollins went for a roll up but Swagger countered into the Patriot Lock but Rollins got to the rope. Rollins sent Swagger to the outside and went for a running knee but Swagger moved and applied the Patriot Lock. Mercury and Noble distracted Swagger, allowing Rollins to shove Swagger into the post. Back in the ring Rollins hit the Curb Stomp for the win.

WINNER: Seth Rollins

After the match Rollins hit another Curb Stomp on Swagger.

Dean Ambrose talked about how he has a rap sheet a mile long from being in this business. He said he doesn’t hide from any of it. He said Bray Wyatt will not put him out of his misery. Ambrose said that if he is going down, Bray Wyatt is going down with him. Ambrose vs Wyatt was then announced for Survivor Series.

Kane told Ryback that he would be at ringside for his match against John Cena. Ryback said that he’s got this. Kane said Ryback has to show some humility and take his lead. Ryback said that when he wants his advice he will ask, and to stay out of his way.

Paige defeated Alicia Fox with the RamPaige.

Steph asked Lana and Rusev again about joining Team Authority. Lana said they couldn’t discuss it for political reasons. Steph said there are no politics in the WWE (haha). Lana said they would consider it. Steph said listen you stuck of Russian, I scratch your back, you scratch ours.

A Russian vs An Irishman For The United States Championship In The UK

Lana and Rusev were in the ring. She said that Rusev holding the US Title shows Russia’s power over the United States. Lana said if it wasn’t for Russia’s military everyone in the UK would be speaking German. A random Russian government representative talked about President Putin being so proud and read a “declaration” from Putin congratulating Rusev. As the Russian National Anthem played Sheamus came out and cleared the ring.

The match started back from break. Rusev gained control early on with some kicks to the back and gut. Sheamus came back with a knee to the head. Sheamus got a few punches in and then knocked Rusev off the apron. Rusev caught Sheamus on the outside and rammed him into the apron then hit a fallaway slam onto the announce table. Rusev continued to dominate inside the ring. Rusev went to a headlock. After what seemed like forever, Sheamus escaped but went right into a spinning heel kick.

The two exchanged blows back from break before Sheamu started a comeback, but ran right into a Rusev dropkick. Mercury and Noble were now at ringside. Sheamus caught a charging Rusev with a powerslam. Sheamus hit his punches then a shoulder tackle. He then went for the Cloverleaf but couldn’t lock it in. Sheamus then connected with White Noise for two. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick but Rusev bailed to the outside. Sheamus hit a shoulder tackle off the apron. Sheamus tossed Rusev into the barricade a few times. The ref got to nine and Sheamus rolled Rusev back into the ring. The ref checked on Rusev, Noble and Mercury distracted Sheamus, then the ref turned around and finished the  ten count.

WINNER via Countout: Rusev

Lana told Steph backstage that Rusev would join Team Authority.

Backstage, Seth Rollins told Ryback he didn’t have to take orders from Kane. He could take them from him instead.

Los Matadores vs Miz and Damien Mizdow. Miz landed some kicks then teased a tag in to Mizdow but went back to work. Miz hit his corner clothesline then an axe handle off the top. Miz teased a tag again then finally tagged in Mizdow. Mizdow hit one move then Miz tagged himself back in. Mizdow broke up a pin but ate a dropkick for it. Mini-Mizswoggle was on the apron but El Torrito knocked him down. Miz went to the apron and landed on a Matador. Mizdow held down Miz’s foot and they picked up the win.

Dolph Ziggler vs Mark Henry. During Dolph’s entrance the Luke Harper “eyes” vignette appeared. Ziggler hit a quick dropkick but Henry came right back with a clothesline. Ziggler moved out of the way of a splash in the corner. Ziggler charged at Henry but Henry caught him. On the outside Henry tossed Ziggler into the barricade. Henry charged at Ziggler but Ziggler moved out of the way. Henry then grabbed a chair and tossed it at Ziggler, causing a DQ.

WINNER via DQ: Dolph Ziggler

Henry went to slam Ziggler on the steps in the ring but Big Show came out. He blocked a shot with the steps then tossed them at a bailing Henry going up the ramp. Show said that he joined Team Cena and would see Henry at Survivor Series.

A Kofi Kingston promo, similar to the Xaiver Woods one from earlier with the Gospel singing, aired.

Sheamus said that he was joining Team Cena.

AJ defeated Brie Bella with the Black Widow. After the match, Nikki hit the Rack Attack on AJ.

Tyson Kidd defeated Adam Rose with the Sharpshooter. During the match, Erik Rowan came out and said “She’s not here.” He was probably referencing Natalya. Adam Rose attacked the bunny after the match because the bunny was on the top rope and distracted Rose, causing him to lose.

Bray Wyatt promo. He once again talked about Dean Ambrose’s dad being a sinner. He said there is no going back for Dean, and he has not seen real evil. Bray said he could walk with him or Ambrose could walk away and burn for it.

Clearly, The Authority Doesn’t Know How To B A Star

John Cena vs Ryback. Ryback shoved Cena down to start, then hit a shoulder tackle. Cena went for a quick AA but Ryback escaped. Cena went for a running bulldog but Ryback hit a powerslam. Cena tried fighting back again but Ryback tossed him to the outside in front of Team Authority. He then hit a kick to the face of Cena. Kane gave marching orders to Ryback. The distraction allowed Cena to knock Ryback off the apron and into Kane.

Back from break Ryback caught Cena off the top and hit a side slam. Ryback hit a backdrop. Ryback continued to dominate. He went for Shell Shocked but Cena escaped. He hit one shoulder tackle but Ryback jumped back up and hit a clothesline. Ryback hit a pressslam/powerslam combo for two. Cena tried coming back again but Ryback caught him with a powerbomb. Ryback went for a Razor’s Edge but Cena escaped and countered into the STF, but Ryback reached the ropes. Ryback hit a crossbody but Cena again came back with the STF. Ryback lifted Cena up and went for Shell Shocked, but Cena countered with a slam. Cena knocked Kane off the apron but Ryback hit Cena with a spinebuster. Kane’s frustrations got the best of him and he attacked Cena, causing a DQ.

WINNER via DQ: John Cena

Ryback and Kane argued. Seth Rollins tried to calm things down but Ryback decked him. Kane came back and took out Ryback and Team Authority started going after Cena. Sheamus came out  but Team Authority got the better of him. The same happened to Big Show. Ryback came back in and clotheslined every member of Team Authority and hit Shell Shocked on Kane. Ryback left up the ramp.

Backstage, Triple H and Steph looked on angrily. Suddenly, Dolph Ziggler was thrown in front of them unconscious. Luke Harper then appeared and told them that he was a team player as the show ended.


Ryback: I’ve liked Ryback’s return so far. If they let Ryback be himself, I think the crowd will get behind him. It seems like the crowd is leaning that way so far. I would like to see a Ryback/Rusev feud after Survivor Series. Let Ryback be the guy that beats him instead of Cena.

Seth Rollins vs Jack Swagger: Acceptable TV match that had some good action. Surprised that Swagger was as over as he was. I don’t like how Swagger was on the team and is now off it. I hope they at least keep Swagger off TV until after Survivor Series to sell the injuries. Knowing this company, they might just throw him on Smackdown.


End of Sheamus/Rusev: This just may be minor nit-picking from me. But Rusev got back in the ring at 9, the ref stopped and checked on him for about 10 seconds, Noble and Mercury distracted Sheamus, then the ref counted to 10 causing a countout. It was just really stupid and looked bad as well.

Bray Wyatt/Dean Ambrose Build: The second biggest match at Survivor Series gets two recap packages and two backstage promos. Everything is being focused on Team Cena vs Team Authority, and this seems to be getting pushed to the backburner. These two could have had a good program but it seems like very little, if any, real effort is being put into it by those in charge.

Erik Rowan: We knew that Rowan was going to get the short end of the stick when it came to the Wyatt break-up, but this is just stupid. So Rowan is a female stalker now? This has the potential to end bad.

As much as I would prefer to see the WWE Champ around, at least this Survivor Series match is giving some guys a chance to shine that wouldn’t normally get the TV time. Dolph Ziggler is getting a prominent role, Ryback is getting a new push, Rusev is getting some more time, and now it looks like Luke Harper will get a push as well. That’s the positive. The show is still too long and definitely dragged at times. The wrestling was okay at best. The show gets a 4 from me.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka×250.jpg

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Live Monday Night RAW 11.3.14 Review & Results! (Vince McMahon, The Authority, Randy Orton, Seth Rollins) Tue, 04 Nov 2014 01:11:41 +0000 WWE Raw Header - 2014

{Hello all, I’ll be filling in tonight as our own Justin Czerwonka has the privilege of attending Monday Night RAW live. Should be an interesting ride tonight. – MJH}


Nothing like kicking off RAW with a little “No Chance In Hell”. Vince McMahon makes his return to RAW flanked by Triple H & Stephanie McMahon. After running down his past feuds (including his feud with God), McMahon made the announcement that if Team Authority loses to Team Cena at Survivor Series that The Authority will be made to disband and will no longer be in power. Dean Ambrose’s music hit as McMahon and The Authority are leaving the ring. Vince greets Ambrose with a smile and a handshake while Triple H & Stephanie look on disapprovingly. Ambrose enters the ring for his match with Cesaro after the break.

Vince McMahon rants to The Authority about how good it felt to be in the ring tonight in front of his limo. They wish him a good trip back home and constantly reassure him that they have everything in order. After he gets in the limo, Triple H and Stephanie turn away saying they “need to go figure this out”.

Cesaro makes his way to the ring. Ambrose & Cesaro lock up and begin trading wrist locks and armbars for all of 30 seconds before the brawl starts. Cesaro tosses Ambrose out of the ring but Dean comes back to ram Cesaro’s head into the barricade a few times before tossing him back in the ring. The lights go out before the break and Bray Wyatt appears in his rocking chair on the stage when the lights are raised.

Back from break and Cesaro has control delivering a wicked spinning neckbreaker while Ambrose was in Randy Orton’s rope DDT position. Ambrose makes a comeback with trademark brawling & rebound clothesline before Cesaro counters with his vicious “very European” uppercut. Ambrose counters and throws Cesaro outside. Ambrose hits a diving planca to the floor and follows it up with Dirty Deeds in the ring for the win. The lights go out and Bray Wyatt disappears before Ambrose can get to him.

Triple H and Stephanie talk about putting together the strongest Survivor Series team possible. Triple H immediately begins to call Randy Orton to Stephanie’s dismay since Orton RKO’d Seth Rollins last week. Triple H says they need the strongest team they can get now that Stephanie’s father put so much on the line.

The Usos make their entrance as Jimmy Uso gets ready to face The Miz. The Miz and Jimmy lock up as Damien Mizdow does his typical routine on the outside. Jey Uso looks at Mizdow strangely before joining in and mimicking what his brother is doing in the ring. Michael Cole tosses out a rather cool fact saying that Survivor Series will be the first PPV the WWE ever gives away for free. Jimmy hits the Miz with a dive over the top rope but Mizdow creates the diversion when he rolls into the ring with The Miz. Jey Uso knocks out Mizdow with a crescent kick but Jimmy gets caught getting into the ring, gets hit with the Skull Crushing Finale and The Miz picks up the win.

Sheamus takes on Tyson Kidd with Natalya because two Sheamus matches tonight are better than one as he takes on Rusev on the WWE Network right after RAW for the WWE United States Championship. Tyson Kidd and Sheamus actually have a back and forth match until things spill outside. When Sheamus went to charge Kidd, Kidd pulled Nattie in the way and rolled back into the ring to beat the count and Sheamus. Post match, Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kidd while he’s celebrating and walks out with the US Championship.

Dolph Ziggler makes his way to the ring as the announcers play up Ziggler’s involvement with John Cena and if he’ll join Team Cena. Instead of announcing an opponent, all of The Authority make their way to the ring. Triple H tries to convince Ziggler that he shouldn’t join Cena’s team. He even went as far as to play into rumors that Ziggler just can’t break through the “glass ceiling” because someone is in his way (in this story, John Cena). Triple H offers Ziggler “anything he wants” if he calls Cena and backs out of the match at Survivor Series. Dolph responds that all he wants is them out of power for good. Triple H then makes a match for the Intercontinental Championship between Ziggler and Seth Rollins next as punishment.

Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury are ringside for Rollins. Ziggler & Rollins start out with some mat wrestling before things start to pick up. Rollins nails Ziggler with a stiff clothesline before Ziggler makes a brief comeback with a beautiful dropkick and clothesline. Rollins counters and clotheslines Ziggler to the outside as we go to the break.

The match resets with a double clothesline as both men try to get back to his feet. Ziggler reaches his feet first and hits Rollins with his comeback set. Rollins counters a 10 punch in the corner with a turnbuckle powerbomb. Rollins misses a flying knee and Ziggler connects with the Fameasser for a long two. Rollins counters a superkick from Ziggler with a nice kick to the back of the IC champion’s neck. Ziggler avoids interference from Mercury but Noble hits him with a top rope clothesline and Rollins throws Ziggler into the steel post followed by the Curb Stomp. Before going for the cover, Randy Orton sneaks in and hits the RKO on Rollins. He walks out with the rest of The Authority shouting after him.

Randy Orton confronts Triple H & Stephanie McMahon backstage and begs for Seth Rollins in a match tonight. Stephanie asks why they would put their co-captains in a match against each other which completely sends Orton over the edge. Orton asks why he should even fight for this side and maybe he should fight for Team Cena. Triple H goes into pep-talk mode about needing “The Viper” on his team so he’ll give Orton his match against Rollins so they can get all of this crap out and then be done with it. Orton accepts and we have Orton versus Rollins later tonight.

Cue a very weird “eyeball” vignette that left the announcers speechless. Go to YouTube if you’re interested. It was weird.

Titus O’Neil is in the ring spelling his name and saying how he wants on Team Authority when Ryback’s music hits. Ryback is in full babyface mode again this week and Buffalo is into it by immediately chanting “Feed Me More”. Titus shows off an awesome display of strength by lifting Ryback over his shoulder, holding him there for awhile and then dropping him with a backbreaker. Ryback comes back with a spinebuster and goes to the Meathook clothesline as the crowd chants “Feed Me More” again. The Authority is shown watching the match as Ryback hits the still pitiful-looking Shell-Shocked finisher.

The Big Show makes his way down to the ring for his match against Mark Henry. I guess they’re fighting because they both suck at defending America. Now an Irishman gets to do it tonight after RAW on the WWE Network making RAW even longer than it already is. Big Show & Mark Henry traded a bunch of elbow drops and slams until Big Show kicked out of the World’s Strongest Slam & Henry got mad so he hit Show with the steel steps for the DQ. Henry then delivered the World’s Strongest Slam outside the ring on the stairs.

Renee Young tries to conduct an interview with Brie Bella but Nikki shuts that down because she didn’t approve it. Erick Rowan comes out of nowhere, strokes Renee’s hair and says “pretty”. Nikki Bella squares off with Emma as AJ Lee joins in on commentary (cue “CM Punk” chants). Nikki dominates the match and ends it with the Rack Attack. She then demands Brie go and slap AJ which caused Lee to knock out Brie and chase Nikki up the ramp.

Because we always have time to kill, it’s time to kill Zack Ryder at the hands’ of Rusev. Ryder gets crushed (dammit, I used it!) as The Authority looked at recruiting Rusev because apparently they have no American pride.

Los Matadores and Gold & Stardust are already in the ring as we’re set for Stardust versus Fernando. The Miz & Damien Mizdow are on commentary, well The Miz is on commentary and Mizdow is lip-syncing everything. El Torito knocks Goldust into The Miz which caused enough of a distraction that Fernando caught Stardust with a backstabber and picked up the upset.

Randy Orton makes his way to the ring and our own Justin Czerwonka gets some valuable screen time for the HTC/Inside Pulse Wrestling Pulsecast behind “The Viper”. Seth Rollins comes down the ramp with a limp and even sells a hurt back when taking off his shirt. Rollins even looked at Stephanie and Triple H to see if the match is still going to happen. The bell rings and Orton begins a one-sided asswhopping Steve Austin would be proud of.

We’re back and Rollins has control. Until he tries to hit a planca to the outside and Orton sidesteps him. Rollins eventually regains control as Triple H and Stephanie begin to look a little more worried. The action spills to the outside and Orton hits a side suplex to Rollins on the table. Orton then went into crazy cleaning mode by completely clearing the announcers’ table while Triple H asked him if he really needed to do this. Rollins rolled back to avoid any damage for now. He regained the advantage after dumping Orton to the outside and hitting a dive to the floor. Rollins rolls Orton back inside, jumps off the top for the flying knee and gets a long 2. Orton gains the upperhand after avoiding the Curb Stomp and moving into his signature moves. Orton hits the middle rope DDT and sets up the RKO. When he goes for it, Rollins reverses it into a backside and a quick 3 count out of nowhere. Triple H is almost out of his suit because of stress but asks Orton to shake everyone’s hand. Orton does until he gets to Rollins, who gets another RKO. Orton sets up the punt kick but Triple H stops him and tries to talk him down. He succeeds for a bit until Orton snaps and clocks Triple H too. He continues to take out everyone until Kane holds him on the table long enough for Seth Rollins to Curb Stomp him on the table. Orton’s head is legitimately busted open now and Stephanie is trying to convince Triple H to order The Authority to “finish this”. He finally did and Seth Rollins Curb Stomped him onto the steel steps. The announcers played up the fact that Orton is no longer in The Authority (and thus we now have a babyface Randy Orton) while Rollins posed and the doctors’ worked on Orton.

On the Network, the doctors are still working on Randy Orton and are putting him on a stretcher when Rusev’s music hits for the United States Championship match. Michael Cole set up the match and even said that neither Rusev nor Sheamus have ever tapped out in their WWE careers. Both men are pretty stiff as every punch & kick are loud and leave a mark. Neither man holds an advantage for long until Rusev counters the Battering Ram into a powerslam onto the floor and then nails a spinning heel kick. Sheamus begins to make a comeback when he tries to hit his tilt-a-whirl suplex but it ends up being mostly a slam. The advantage is traded back and forth with Sheamus breaking out of the Accolade and Rusev dodges the Brogue Kick. Rusev hits Sheamus with two superkicks and locks in the Accolade. Sheamus fights for a little while before passing out and thus your new WWE United States Champion, Rusev!

Total Runtime of RAW = 3 hours and 40 minutes×120.jpg

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for October 31st 2014: Happy Halloween! Sat, 01 Nov 2014 00:17:41 +0000 What’s crackalacking, faithful readers? Hope everyone’s had a decent week; I played my first game of ‘Cards Against Humanity’ and got told by my girlfriend if I did my impression of Lemongrab one more time, she’d stab me. Turns out telling her that that was ‘unacceptable’ was…ah…a really bad move.

Oh yeah, Hell in a Cell. Against my better judgement, I actually allowed myself to dare to hope to think to dream that I might not leave with a reaction best described as ‘well, they fucked that up’. And I was wrong and I was stupid for thinking that. Shit, who was I to think that WWE might consider giving someone other than John Cena a match against Brock Lesnar? Or that a Hell in a Cell match might actually be so definitive a punctuation mark to a violent feud that using it to kick-start a new feud in a way that aped something done almost twenty years ago which was done better the first time than in its lacklustre imitation would be goddamn ridiculous? A fool, my readers, a fool.

Fuck it, it’s time to face the consequences of WWE’s actions, like they’re that junkie friend we can’t cut ourselves off from because we know, deep down, that if we leave them they’ll be dead in a week. Oh and it’s Halloween…and I think me forgetting that is a nail in the coffin of my childhood. Fuck

I Can’t Be The Only One Who Assumed That All The Competitors Were Going To Dress As Each Other

Seems like WWE’s still in touch with its inner child (not one you’d want your own kids playing with), because it’s a costume Battle Royal for the Divas. Paige is Summer Rae; Natalya is the Queen of Hearts; Naomi is a paratrooper; Summer Rae is a schoolgirl nerd; Layla is a…clown? Probably. Emma is either Tarzan or Jane; they sort of end up wearing the same thing, I guess. Rosa’s a zombie nurse; Cameron is a police officer; Alicia Fox is a firefighter, so all the emergency services are represented barring the coastguard. Nikki is a black cat, and apparently made Brie drive all the way to San Antonio whilst dressed as Daniel Bryan. I wish people tried to torment me via impromptu road trips, as opposed to via making me watch the Bellas act. Michael Cole chimes in with ‘well, that was pathetic’, and I assume he’s talking about the angle, the acting and the dialogue. AJ is on commentary, and it’s half-funny, half-bullying.

Bell rings, and let’s get this sloppy action underway. The girls all leap on each other, and Naomi hurricanranas Rosa and dropkicks her out under the bottom rope, which is an elimination because they’re all delicate flowers, I guess? Natalya forces Summer Rae out to the floor, and Emma locks in the tarantula to Cameron, but when she disengages it she is pushed out to the floor by Alicia.

Layla starts dancing like a…well, I currently lack the words, but I’ll get back to you. Paige is watching this with a look of amazement, but then shakes her boobs, and then Layla starts pulling out a bunch of tissue paper, so Paige stuffs her bra? Yeah, why not. Paige kicks the shit out of Layla and eliminates her, and Cameron and Naomi get eliminated by Natalya. Nikki spinebusters the fuck out of Paige as Alicia kicks Natalya in the face. Nat has a hope spot which gets crushed as Alicia eliminates her, then Fox basically Mick Foleys Paige, leaving Nikki Bella as the last woman standing.

I like Battle Royals, even if they are hell to cover. I’m glad we avoided turning AJ/Paige into John Cena/Randy Orton (even though at least AJ and Paige have both tried being the heel in their feud), but…Jesus, now I might have to listen to Nikki on a microphone. Fuck you, WWE. 2 Stars.

Nikki celebrates her win-via-default, and then has a stare-down with AJ.

It’s Like…It’s Like The People In Charge Aren’t Doing A Good Job

Kane’s here, and is heading for a rematch with Dolph Ziggler. We repeat Orton being more interesting than he has been in years on Monday; I was into that whole thing, really, especially Triple H’s ‘fuck’s sakes’ look post-RKO. Kane gets on the microphone, and it’s Kane and Rollins comedy hour; I don’t know why I find these two so endearing a couple, but I truly do. Of all the ‘guilty pleasure’ matches Kane could have put someone in, a street fight match is really, really tame. Seth gets on and talks about how you’d have to be stupid to join Team Cena, and this segues into Kane’s match with Dolph Ziggler. This whole ‘get punished for talking to John Cena’ is sort of like 1984, only Big Brother and the Party actually seemed sort of competent at their jobs, whereas the Authority are sometimes so bad at being evil masterminds I sometimes worry about them forgetting how to breathe. Case in point: Kane deciding to punish the Intercontinental Champion – a much younger man in far better shape than himself – by fighting him. Some Sun Tzu shit right there.

Bell rings and we’re underway. Ziggler ducks and dodges Kane for a moment, before laying punches and a dropkick on him. Kane breaks out of a facelock, slamming Ziggler on the mat and then wrenching him back on the ropes. Clothesline drops Dolph, and Kane works him over in the corner. Dolph is just Kane’s bitch right now, and tries to work his way out of a sleeper. Kicks have Kane reeling, allowing Ziggler to hit a neckbreaker and a big elbow. Michael Cole comments that the Authority can bury your career before it even begins, and it’s amazing John Cena hasn’t joined them; seems like his kind of gig.

Ziggler gets uppercutted whilst on the second rope, falling down to the floor. Post-commercial, however, Dolph has dodged a shoulder charge, dropkicking Kane and slamming fists into his face. Neckbreaker is scouted by Kane; Ziggler ducks a big boot and hits a Fameasser for the win. Noble gets on the apron, causing Dolph to lunge for him when he should have just nut-shotted Kane. Ziggler gets big booted for a near-fall. Kane calls for his chokeslam, but Ziggler almost repeats Monday night with a roll-up, and then superkicks Kane. He runs right into a chokeslam for Kane’s victory.

Ah, the pre-Survivor Series win-trading. I love this time of year. Decent match, but I seriously have trouble seeing Kane as a threat. I mean, he won that match, and I feel like most of the locker room could kick his old ass. 2 Stars.

Kane chokeslams Ziggler again, then the Cruiserweights start attacking Ziggler. When are we ending the Authority story arc, by the way? I mean, it’s been okay, and I’ve enjoyed some of what’s happened during it, but how long are a group of well-muscled and physically capable guys and gals going to take a reign of terror from four over-the-hill guys, two guys in their prime and one deep-voiced woman? Why haven’t Steph and Hunter got Mussolini’d by now? Kane gets on the microphone and tells Ziggler he has another match, against Seth Rollins.

Seth stalks Ziggler as Michael Cole bitches about how now nobody can talk to or have lunch with John Cena. Oh wow, what if that’s Triple H’s plan? Screw Survivor Series; he just wants Cena to feel lonely. Curb Stomp ends it. Michael says that John Cena might be the only guy on his team at Survivor Series; you know he’d still not be the underdog then, right?

New Contender For Rusev?

Well…Heath Slater is covered in straw and dressed as a scarecrow; those two things might be related. He’s pissed off that Cena AA’d him, and he gets just that far before Ryback decided to eat him. I’ve missed this incarnation of the Big Guy; we may have actually seen him undo the damage caused by his interaction with John Cena.

Slater actually lays a punch on Ryback, and then a waistlock; Ryback actually rips Slater’s hand off, but it’s unfortunately fake. Ryback spinebusters and meathooks Heath before hitting Shellshocked.

I’m just so happy that we’ve picked this up again. 2.5 Stars.

Backstage, Adam Rose trick-or-treats on a random door, and it’s the Dust Brothers, who succeed in nonplussing them. The next door is Hunico dressed as Sin Cara dressed as a Ninja Turtle. They run into a guy in a sheet and freak out, even though they share a workplace environment with Bray Wyatt. It’s R-Truth, who is ecstatic to meet the Bunny. Truth then tries to cause friction between Rose and the Bunny, and gives Adam Rose a rock. Hah; because a rock is a stone. And Adam Rose is a stoner. And a waste of space.

Miz and Sandmiz are doing a special Halloween episode of Miz TV, in which we will see how frightening getting the shit kicked out of you by a ginormous black man is. Sandmiz is getting goddamn pops whenever he talks. We relive Mark Henry deciding ‘meh, who cares about the Tag Team Championships?’ Mark Henry comes out, and Miz asks him what happened; Henry says we all know what happened: Big Show was jealous. Miz uses the R-word (not R-Truth), and we replay Big Show losing at Hell in a Cell, but shows Mark Henry smiling as it happens. Wow, WWE: decent. He says Big Show is just a tall guy with an overactive pituitary gland: what an asshole.

Big Show comes out at this biological trash-talking, looking pissed. He approaches the ring, and Mark Henry backs off. Wow, really? World’s Strongest Man? Big Show goes right to Henry, actually catching him, but Henry drives him into the steel ring post, and then slams him through the barricade. It’s like, we should be impressed, but I can remember Brock Lesnar destroying both of these guys with Godlike ease.

I Guess Goldust and Stardust Are Both Considered Sufficiently ‘Halloween’

It’s the Dust Brothers against Los Matadores, and I hate those bull-fighting bastards. Stardust runs the ropes and gets hurricanrana’d. The other Matador tags in and dropkicks him, then Diego tags back in, laying a senton onto Stardust. Stardust finally breaks free, hitting a Disaster Kick and tagging in Goldust. Dust the Elder in control with an uppercut, and Stardust low-bridges Diego as we go to break.

As we come back from commercials, Stardust knocks El Torito off the apron, which is the only reason that bull should even exist anymore, but gets flapjacked by Fernando. Goldust and Diego both come in, and Fernando is taking it to Goldust, even knocking Stardust down. Hurricanrana lays Goldust low, and Los Matadores dive through the ropes onto Goldust. Stardust hits the Falling Star, cackling madly as he does so: perfect touch. He then grabs El Torito, still shrieking with laughter, and oh God, he might actually rape it. Torito actually manages to dropkick Stardust, and then hit an armdrag, on a fucking Tag Team Champion. Goldust gets rolled up, and that’s all.

Oh God, first Nikki Bella and now this? Fuck you, WWE. 1.5 Stars.

Remember When Khali Was A Genuine Threat To The Undertaker?

It’s Khali vs. Rusev, and Khali hits a big chop, and then another. Wow, imagine if Khali does it; I’d laugh. Actually forget it: Rusev hits his big kick and locks in the Accolade for the win.

Swift, dominant, impressive. Nice choice of opponent for this. 2 Stars.

Lana gets on the microphone, and says that she has received direction from Mother Russia: to further destroy the deteriorating American spirit. Wow, Texas hates foreigners. Who knew? Rusev gives a pretty decent short speech, and says he will crush the American Champion: Sheamus. Oh shit, son: a feud I actually want. Sheamus shows up, and finally someone who doesn’t care about America, but just wants to beat a guy up. He almost hits the Brogue Kick on Rusev, who ducks away from it and makes his exit. Looking forward to this.

Bray Wyatt makes his way to the ring, in an attempt to explain WWE’s awful life choices. He lays out his usual creepy spiel, with some real fire behind it this time: must be psyched for this Ambrose feud. He says we love Ambrose because he’s nothing like us; he’s like Bray. Dean Ambrose is a monster, and Bray knows how it felt to go after Seth Rollins. He says that Ambrose doesn’t just get to wash his hands clean; Bray knows that ‘she’ still cries for Dean Ambrose. Strong promo; another feud I’m looking forward to.

Kane’s Guilty Erection Pleasure Match

Dean Ambrose comes to the ring, which actually looks pretty well-themed. I mean, there are a lot of pumpkins, I guess. This is a Trick or Street Fight match, so Kane’s guilty pleasure is atrocious puns, I suppose. Cesaro comes out, and Ambrose starts off straight-up wailing on him, hitting a running bulldog. Dean has a pumpkin in his hands, but Cesaro cuts him off with a Singapore cane, going pretty crazy on Ambrose with it. Dean finally catches the cane, rebounds off the ropes, but runs right into another swing of the cane. A double-underhook suplex gets two for Cesaro, and he lashes Ambrose with the cane again.

Cesaro sets off a bunch of pumpkins for no clear reason whatsoever. Tom says there are no disqualifications, and what kind of referee would call a DQ due to squash arranging? Cesaro tries to suplex Ambrose into the pumpkins, because that’s a move reminiscent of a man who just laced another man with a kendo stick. Dean fights back, but gets caned once again. Cesaro tries to come into the ring with a plate of candy, but it gets baseball-slid right into his face. Ambrose flies out onto Cesaro, who catches him and hurls him over the announce table. Dean manages to grab a kendo stick, however, and comes up swinging. Once back in the ring, he backdrops Cesaro right onto the pumpkins, and that’s a future back injury right there, I think.

Ambrose clotheslines Cesaro out of the ring, and launches himself over the top, right into a kendo stick swing. Cesaro tries to drown Dean in the apple-bobbing area, but Ambrose spits an apple back into Cesaro’s face and attacks Cesaro with a skeleton figure, only for Cesaro to suplex both Dean and the skeleton. Cesaro sets up a table, but Ambose gains the upper hand, hitting an elbow through the table whilst riding a broomstick: fuck yeah.

Back in the ring, Cesaro jawbreaker’s Ambrose, who comes back with his rebound clothesline. Dean puts a pumpkin on Cesaro’s head and hits what I guess we’re now calling ‘Dirty Deeds’ for the win.

Okay, I was definitely charmed by this; other competitors wouldn’t have done this anywhere near so well. Just some good fun, really, particularly the broomstick. 3 Stars.

Ambrose puts the pumpkin back on Cesaro’s head post-match, and hits Dirty Deeds again to close the show.

That was pretty fun: nothing massively important, but we established the next couple of feuds very efficiently, and some of the humour was rather good. This week gets an eight.

Movie Recommendation: Free Samples, one of those comedies with a very simple premise which manages to grow both emotionally and in terms of storyline: a lazy comedy which still makes you feel.

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WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results For 10/27/14: Hell In A Cell Fallout Mon, 27 Oct 2014 23:29:42 +0000 It’s the RAW after Hell In A Cell. Why did Bray Wyatt attack Dean Ambrose? When will John Cena get his Title shot? What does Hulk Hogan have to say? Also announced is John Cena vs Seth Rollins. So after a month of Cena trying to get his hands on Rollins and the Authority stopping him, then losing a match to get the right to face Rollins, Cena is then just awarded a match with him on RAW. WWE Logic at its finest folks.

No Pants Orton Means Business

RAW started with The Authority in the ring talking about Hell In A Cell, and they then introduced Seth Rollins. Rollins said that the lunatic fringe Dean Ambrose is finally out of his hair once and for all. He said last night he proved that intellect conquers over mayhem every single time. He said now that he is done with Ambrose, he sees John Cena on the horizon. He said tonight he will leave Cena just like he left Ambrose last night, in a puddle of his own failure.

Randy Orton came to the ring. Orton went on a tirade about losing last night and said that it was because of Rollins Curb Stomp last week. He went off about Rollins saying he was the future of the WWE and then went after Rollins. He was eventually pulled off and HHH told him that they were not doing this tonight. HHH told him to take the night off and this will be dealt with at the appropriate time. Orton then pushed HHH away and hit the RKO on Rollins.

The Heel Turn The Entire World Saw Coming

Tag Title Match: The Dust Brothers vs Big Show and Mark Henry (aka Team Failed America). Goldust and Henry started. Henry tossed Goldust around for a bit then tagged in Stardust. Henry tossed Stardust into the corner and landed some blows before tagging in Big Show. Show hit a couple of chest slaps then tagged Henry back in. Henry tossed Stardust hard into the corner then grabbed him by the ankle and held him by one hand to stop it. Show tagged himself in and that upset Henry. Henry then pushed and argued with Big Show about it into commercial.

Back from break Big Show escaped a chin lock and tagged in Mark Henry. Stardust caught Henry with a chop block to the knee. This allowed the heels to take turns working over Henry. Stardust hit a springboard dropkick knocking Henry into the corner. Show tagged himself in and he ended up hitting the KO Punch on Stardust. He then tossed Goldust over the top rope. Henry came in and started arguing with Show again, and he eventually hit the World’s Strongest Slam on Big Show. Henry put Stardust on Show and they got the pinfall win to retain the Titles.

WINNERS: Goldust and Stardust

After the match, Henry hit two World’s Strongest Slams and a splash on the Big Show.

Mark Henry said he did what he did to Big Show before Big Show could do it to him and that Show has always been jealous of him.

Roman Reigns was interviewed. He said when he is medically cleared, he is going to make Seth Rollins the past.

AJ Lee vs Alicia Fox. Fox started the match by drop kicking AJ out of the ring. Fox had control early and hit a northern lights suplex followed. Fox locked in a headlock. Fox went for a bodyslam but AJ countered nicely with a DDT. Fox came back with a backbreaker. Paige left the commentary booth and started yelling at Alicia. The distraction allowed AJ to roll up Alicia and pick up the win.


Paige tried apologizing to Alicia Fox after but Paige caught her with a kick, then launched her into the barricade on the outside and also slammed Alicia’s head into the barricade.

The Every Few Months “Someone Tries To Get John Cena To Turn Heel” Promo

John Cena came out. He said last night two men went through hell for the opportunity to challenge the Beast. He said he earned that right, and while Brock Lesnar sits at home pretending to be a Champion, he fights every night proving that he is a Champion. He said when he gets into the ring again with Brock Lesnar he will not lose. Cena said that everything he does from here on out will be a statement to Brock Lesnar. Cena said tonight he goes through the future in Seth Rollins.

Steph came out and said that she does look forward to tonight and that she also looks forward to Survivor Series where there will be a traditional Survivor Series match. Steph said she also has a business proposition for him. Steph said that he panders to the fans too much. Steph asked Cena to join The Authority where he could be loved and respected. That’s something the fans don’t do. She said The Authority could offer some assurance in a match against Brock Lesnar. Steph said he deserves so much better. Cena said all he deserves is the opportunity to come down the ramp and do what he does every single night. Cena said that his answer to Steph was hell no.

HHH came out and made fun of Cena being the big old hero. He told Cena it gets harder every year and that he is hanging on by a thread every single year. He told Cena he can’t fight the future and it doesn’t have to be as hard as it is going to get. HHH said that he guesses he will just have to show to Cena that the future is against him. He told Cena to find someone willing to stand up to the Authority and fight his team at Survivor Series. HHH said the future will run through Cena and that he better smarten up to the fact that The Authority always wins.

Faces Using Heel Tactics

The Usos vs Miz and Damien Mizdow. Miz started with a shoulder tackle but the Uso in the ring came back and hit a clothesline but he then ate a running knee. Miz landed a boot in the corner and was then clotheslined over the top, so Mizdow came of the apron and joined him. The Usos then hit dueling dives to the outside into commercial. Miz had control back from break. He hit a DDT for two. Mizdow came in and hit a suplex then went to a headlock. Mizdow also hit a DDT then tagged in Miz. Miz and Mizdow worked over Uso for a bit. Mizdow went for the Miz’s corner clothesline but Jey blocked it and hit a dropkick and tagged in Jimmy. Jimmy hit a Samoan Drop followed by a crossbody off the top. Jimmy went for a roll up but Mizdow broke it up. Jey then replaced Jimmy when the ref wasn’t looking. Jey rolled up Miz to pick up the win.


Backstage John Cena was seen talking to Dolph Ziggler. They shook hands. Back from break, Kane confronted Ziggler about talking to Cena and said he would meet him in the ring.

Hulk Hogan once again talked about breast cancer and welcomed the survivors in the crowd to pose in the ring.

Bo Dallas issued an open challenge that was answered by Ryback. Ryback hit a spinebuster and followed it up with the Meathook clothesline and Shell Shocked for the win.

Ummmm, I’d Rather Have The Cesaro/Ambrose Match

Before Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro, Ambrose took the mic. He said when he got to hell, he found Bray Wyatt. He said you don’t mess with an animal who has sharper claws then you and you don’t screw with Dean Ambrose. Ambrose then ran into the ring and jumped Cesaro with the mic. They went outside and Ambrose still beat down Cesaro with the mic. Cesaro went to the back. Ambrose demanded Bray come out so he could kick his ass. Bray appeared on the screen. He said that when he sees Ambrose it is almost like seeing his own reflection. He said they both like torture and they both enjoy inflicting pain. But Bray said he is not Ambrose, and told Dean to run.

Nikki Bella beat Namoi. Brie grabbed Naomi’s leg causing a distraction even though Brie didn’t want too.

Cena With The Save?

Dolph Ziggler vs Kane. Ziggler landed some early punches before Kane caught him with an uppercut. Kane then dropped Ziggler on the ropes and caught him with a boot to the face. Ziggler fought out of a headlock but ate a knee to the gut. Dolph fought out of another headlock with a jawbreaker then ducked a charging Kane and then connected on a dropkick sending Kane off the apron. Back from break Dolph hit a facebuster but then ran right into a right hand by Kane. Kane continued to work over Ziggler until he caught Kane with an uppercut and started a comeback. Dolph connected on a Fameasser for two. Kane attempted a chokeslam but Dolph escaped and rolled up Kane to pick up the win.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler

After the match Seth Rollins jumped Ziggler from behind. Rollins and Kane started to lay the boots to Ziggler before Cena came out. Cena clotheslined Kane over the top as Rollins ran off.

I Hope You Weren’t Expecting A Clean Finish

Main Event time. Cena started with an early takedown sending Rollins to the outside. Rollins came back in the ring but ate a hip toss from Cena so he bailed again. Rollins ate a punch and bailed again so this time Cena chased him to the outside and smashed his head on the announce table. Mercury and Noble stood in the way of Cena, but Rollins busted through them and hit a clothesline on the outside. Rollins had the upper hand back in the ring landing multiple blows. Mercury caught Cena with a punch with the refs back turned. Noble then landed some blows on the outside and Rollins hit a suplex on the floor. Rollins continued to dominate. He stopped a Cena comeback with an elbow then a neckbreaker for two.

Back from break Rollins tossed Cena into the steps. Cena tried a comeback but Rollins ducked a shoulder tackle and Cena went to the outside. Rollins hit a dive and knocked Cena down but Rollins also hit his taped and injured back on the announce table. Rollins went for a superplex but Cena knocked him off the ropes and hit a crossbody. Cena went for the AA but Rollins countered with a DDT for two. They went back to the outside where Rollins tossed Cena into the barricade. Back in the ring Cena escaped a headlock but Rollins came right back with a dropkick. Cena beat the ten count to get back in the ring but Rollins went back to laying the boots to Cena. Cena recovered and went into CENA MODE. Cena tossed Rollins over the top and right onto Mercury and Noble. Rollins caught Cena with an enziguri back in the ring for two. Cena then caught a charging Rollins with a boot to the ribs then a tornado DDT for two. Cena went for the AA but Rollins landed on his feet. Rollins missed a kick and Cena went for the STF but Rollins got to the ropes. Rollins then hit a kick to the gut and a reverse DDT. Both men went to the top where Rollins gained the upper hand and it the turnbuckle bomb for two. Rollins went for the Curb Stomp but Cena moved and locked in the STF. Kane then came in to break up the move causing the DQ.

WINNER via DQ: John Cena

Dolph Ziggler continued to make the save until Noble and Mercury came in. The entire locker room then came out and a huge brawl started. The ring cleared out as Cena hit the AA on Heath Slater and Bo Dallas to end the show.


John Cena vs Seth Rollins: The match itself was rather good. You pretty much knew going in that you weren’t getting a clean finish. I may not have liked the fact that the match was booked in the first place, but both men did a good job in the ring before the schmozz finish.

Ryback Return: First off I’m surprised the crowd was that into him. But I’m glad. Ryback is a guy that could get over if he just let his real personality get through. If you haven’t seen his video from before his hernia surgery go look for it. He’s hilarious. This could be the start of a possible new push for Ryback that gives him a second chance here.

Randy Orton Face Turn?: Similar to Ryback, Randy Orton could get over as a face if he just plays his natural self. Orton is in need of new life because he is stale as all hell right now. A face turn might be a good start. I really wanted to see an Orton/Lesnar match just because it is different. I’m interested to see where they go with Orton from here.


John Cena/HHH/Stephanie McMahon Promo: Really? We have to go this route again? How many times over the years have various people tried to get John Cena to turn heel? And how many times has it worked? It’s just such a waste of time because we know it isn’t going to happen. This apparently is the storyline being used to cover up the fact that Brock Lesnar isn’t coming back soon.

Bray Wyatt Promo: As I said on Twitter last night, I would like to see a Dean Ambrose/Bray Wyatt feud. But it is off to a terrible start. First last night’s horrible ending to the Ambrose/Rollins match. Now we get a Bray Wyatt promo that doesn’t make too much sense. I had hopes for Bray Wyatt, but his character is really on thin ice with me. I’m hoping things pick up in the coming weeks.

Mark Henry Heel Turn: Maybe it’s because Henry’s last turn on Cena was so well done, but I just can’t get into another heel Henry run. Him and Big Show turn heel so much that I lost count. Plus, we’re getting a series of Mark Henry/Big Show matches. Those matches aren’t going to be entertaining.

There were some things to like from this RAW but it wasn’t enough to make it a good show. Everything outside of John Cena’s match tonight made no sense for him. He’s given a free match with Rollins after not getting one for a month and losing a match to get said match. Then we got the typical try to get Cena to turn heel promo we get every other month. There’s some potential out there but the WWE is just in a giant dry spell right now and haven’t been able to strike gold with anything recently. I’m giving the show a 3.

I’ll be at RAW next week so I won’t be doing a live results write up. Maybe someone can step in during my one week absence.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka×250.jpg

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for October 24th 2014: “The Best Reason Not To Watch SmackDown” – BD Sun, 26 Oct 2014 11:22:03 +0000 Felicitations, guys and gals, and welcome to the go-home show review. The headlines this week: I spent my Thursday working in a kitchen which was literally flooding with a mix of corrosive alkaline solution and dirty dish water, so I currently hate everything and everyone but especially attempted comedy segments during wrestling shows. In other news, I’ve started this new thing where I don’t read the spoilers in advance of watching the show, in order to imbue this writing with a more genuine sense of innocent surprise and childlike wonder.

Holy fuckballs, it’s Dean Ambrose. We recap the return of cheap pops (and, coincidentally, Mick Foley) before Dean gets his hands on a microphone. Please don’t make a lot of bad puns; please don’t make a lot of bad puns…Ambrose says he’ll never not get back up: not because he’s indestructible or because he doesn’t get hurt, but because unlike Mick Foley, he’s never been a nice guy. God, now I really want an Ambrose/Foley match. All Ambrose wants: all he can possibly have is revenge on Seth Rollins. Shit, he’s actually selling that idea.

Topless Seth appears onscreen (why did I feel the need to mention the toplessness?) He says Ambrose doesn’t tell him what to do; he’s a strong, independent professional wrestler and he don’t need no man. He mocks Dean for being so invested in the Shield, and then says ‘it was me, Ambrose; it was me all along’. Fuck, that man just won the Attitude Era. He says vengeance is cheap and, like Ambrose, is worthless. What matters is future, and Rollins’ will begin after he disposes of Ambrose. He says he’ll then cash in his briefcase, and considering the last time he tried to do that it was on Brock Fucking Lesnar, I believe him. Ambrose fires up, yelling that the two of them will burn together, but Rollins will perish alone. Sold. Sold on this whole goddamn feud.

Apparently Big Show’s going to address the fact that Rusev, in the fine tradition of Eddie Guerrero, the entire nWo and various WWE referees before him, abided by the tradition ‘if you hop the barricade, you’re a dead motherfucker’ last Monday.

Damien Sandow Is Not Afraid To Commit. Ladies…

Oh lord in heaven, Los Matadores. Seriously: why are they still here? What possible value do they have in this incarnation? Although this situation is mitigated by a) chill Sheamus on commentary and b) Sandmiz having a match. I’d even accept it if they made him the WWE’s version of that character from arcade fighting games, and he just used a different wrestler’s moves and mannerisms every match: one week he’s the Big Show; the next he’s Paige. At some point he can get high and channel anyone from the Hall of Fame. And I’d watch it.

Sandmiz gets thrown into a corner, tosses Matador Uno over his shoulder but gets headscissored. Miz gets a tag, misses a punch and eats some chops and a boot to the face. He hangs Uno up on the ropes. Miz then hits the Clubbing Blows to the chest, leading to mild comedy gold from Sheamus. Awesome Clothesline to Uno, and Sandmiz tags back in, getting drop-toehold…ed on the ropes; Los Dos and Miz tag in, and Dos is all over the Miz, with strikes and a flapjack into the corner; senton to a standing Miz, but Sandmiz breaks up the pin before Uno tosses him. Miz throws out Uno, blocks a backstabber and then applies the Figure Four to Dos, as Sandmiz shoves El Torito down on the outside (best use of the bull ever) and applies the Figure Four to Uno. Dos taps and that’s the match.

Not a massive amount of material from Sandmiz, but I did appreciate the brief Sheamus-ing from Miz and Damien pushing El Torito over. 2.5 Stars.

Sheamus starts making threats, but takes his headset off halfway through, meaning we can’t hear him and, due to the music, neither can Miz. Smart guy, that Irishman. JBL says they need him on commentary more often: yes to that.

Dust Brothers are backstage, assumedly tripping balls again…and then suddenly Bo Dallas is there, and manages to derail and save the segment. That incredible smile.

They Don’t Have Any Ideas For Another Number One Contender For AJ

Alicia Fox is ready for her rematch against the champ, and if she was a guy and Swiss and freakishly strong, this would be a title match (that’s my way of saying that Cesaro has a title shot tonight; the Divas title does not have a really specific list of prerequisites for challengers).

Bell rings and they tie up. AJ wrenches the arm, but eats a forearm from Fox. Headscissors takes Fox down, and I get irritated when AJ brings out that move. Not because I don’t like the move, or athletic women’s matches, but because it always seems like she could lock in the Black Widow right there and game over. Still, willing suspension of disbelief. Fox comes back with a straight slap to the face, and then gets caught with a front facelock. She counters by slamming the champ into the corner and then hits her Northern Lights suplex.

Sleeper hold to AJ Lee, who tries to fight out but gets bodyslammed before she can. Fox chokes her on the ropes as Paige talks shit, but Alicia finally runs into a pair of knees. AJ fires up, but gets distracted as she goes after Paige, recovers, throws Fox into Paige and rolls her up for the win.

Very quick match, but decent. Apparently AJ and Paige were making some noise about how they could do a cell match, which probably isn’t high on the overall agenda of feminism, but still something I’d support. 2 Stars.

Wyatt promo. I really hope that at least one pregnant woman has written ‘IT’S COMING’ on her stomach.

We get shown the ‘We’re Not Wearing Pants’ interview with Michael Cole and the Big Show. Michael says that the Big Show is carrying the weight of an entire country on his shoulders, which still sounds like a shot at how heavy that tubby gent is. And stop calling Rusev ‘Russian'; he’s Bulgarian. Apparently we’re talking about when Rusev defended himself against a man trained to kill other men, who was the aggressor in that particular incident. And if he can’t take one kick to the face without acting like a bitch, is that the kind of soldier you want? And who wears a fucking combat uniform to a wrestling show? Big Show says that the flag is not about fabric and cloth and dye, which is a hundred percent what flags are all about. Big Show calls Rusev out for taking a cheap shot, and just watch how Guerrero hits the guy who knocks him off the ladder. Michael Cole acts like a real journalist for once, and asks Big Show to compare the flag-pulling incidents. Big Show straight up goes ‘I was wrong’, which actually surprised me. I think a wrestler just gave a better fake public apology than most politicians. We let both Show and Cole mutually masturbate over how fucking awesome the American armed forces are for a bit, so I kind of zone out for a bit, and we then go to Hulk Hogan? Oh God, they asked Hogan a question about international relations?! That man still thinks that Nikolai Volkoff is the Prime Minister of the Soviet Union! Well, that’s made this feud even more embarrassing. Big Show promises to knock Rusev out, and at this point I just hope that Brock Lesnar returns for an impromptu match against Rusev, doesn’t mention America even the once, and squashes the shit out of the guy. Seriously: that is my dream of how Rusev’s streak is broken. I would purposelessly feed him to Lesnar if it stopped the spread of patriotism.

You Can’t Do That On Free Television!

As an apology for…whatever anyone wants to call that (I’m going with ‘massive waste of my time’) we’ve got a Ziggler/Cesaro match for the Intercontinental Championship. WWE Creative must be amazing at making up with their partners. Both men make their way to the ring, so whoever our nasally new ring announcer is can do the introductions there for that big match feel.

Bell rings, and both men grapple, jockeying for control until they end up on the ropes. Cesaro waits until Ziggler lets go, then hits a knee. Ziggler is thrown into the corner; Cesaro follows him and hits a monkey flip, only for Dolph to land perfectly on his feet! Hip toss to Cesaro, who almost rolls up Ziggler before he can drop his elbow, but Ziggler counters that, then tries to roll him up again; the men trade pin after pin before Cesaro tries a clothesline, then eats a dropkick. Both men keep reversing Irish whips on the way to the corner, but Cesaro is able to hurl Dolph bodily into the steel post, sending the champ right to the outside as we go to break.

After the commercial break, we come back to find Cesaro in control, gripping Ziggler by the head, then applying a sleeper. Dolph nearly breaks out, but Cesaro applies the sleeper again, but Ziggler is able to reverse into a sleeper of his own; Cesaro tries to back suplex Ziggler; Dolph rolls onto his feet and applies the sleeper again! Cesaro finally breaks things up in the corner, but Ziggler comes right back, hitting and moving to take the Swiss Superman down. He gets caught in a powerbomb position, turning that into a roll-up, and then whirls all the way around Cesaro’s body to apply the sleeper again!

Cesaro smashes Dolph into the corner, and manages to suplex him. Ziggler comes back suddenly, looking for the DDT, but Cesaro slams him to the floor. Dolph nearly gets another roll-up before a big boot puts him down. Perfect double underhook powerbomb from Cesaro gets two as the crowd decrees that this, indeed, is awesome. Cesaro tries for the Swing, but nearly gets rolled up; Dolph tries his superkick; Cesaro catches it and goes for his uppercut! Ziggler spins him around and hits the Zig-Zag for the win!

That, hands down, is the best-wrestled match I’ve ever reviewed. That was a PPV-quality match; you couldn’t relax for a second during it. No hesitation in giving this thing 5 Stars.

Surely A P.A. Has Better Job Security Than Anyone Working For WWE

Well, hope you enjoyed that, because this is not going to be of the same quality at all. Okay, no, you know what? I’m being harsh here. Natalya is great in the ring. Brie and Nikki are not actually that bad; they just get bad press from me because I hate their onscreen personalities, their storylines and their hideous inability to act or even say words. Naomi’s given us a few decent matches; Cameron and Summer Rae can just GTFO. Also, it’s sort of strange that after…well, call it twenty years of apparent torment at each other’s hands, these gals seem to think that one month of personal assistant duty is going to settle everything. Plus, that sort of thing depends on you actually having some imagination and drive for that month; I’d probably get through the first week being a total bastard, and the next three would just involve me shrugging and going ‘I really wasn’t going to do much today. I mean…how are you at making Bolognese? Because if you’re not good, then I’d really rather make it myself.’

Brie starts off against Cameron, elbowing her way out of an arm-wrench, backflipping out of a hold but then getting clotheslined hard. Summer comes in, hitting a clothesline of her own. Brie fires up on the heel Divas, but gets taken down by the numbers. Summer, for God knows what reason, decides to then attack the face Divas, but walks right into a dropkick. Cameron, however, pulls Naomi away from the apron before the tag. Nikki tags in, and ends things with the Torture Rack.

That was okay. Surprised they had Nikki and Brie in the match together, but it was very fleeting and this might just be an indication of a Brie victory. And, looking back, I realised that Brie made no tags; probably didn’t want to show that they had better Divas than her to work with. 2 Stars.

Nikki gets on the microphone, and beat still my heart. Also, isn’t personal assistant to someone who makes, let’s face it, a pretty substantial amount of money a decent job? Something to put on your CV; adds to your skill set; you could get a reference from John Cena. The stipulation should be that the loser has to work in a place which is half-flooded with corrosive alkaline. Anyhow, Nikki calls Brie ‘Cinderbella’, which I want to be annoyed about, but I actually smiled, so damn.

We do ‘Hell in a Cell by the Numbers’, which is actually a lot better than it sounds. Although it’s not as good as a Hell in a Cell match featuring only accountants. And as much as I love Hell in a Cell matches, and I really do, this ‘themed PPV’ thing is killing its mystique. It used to be the one definitive way to a violent, nigh-murderous blood-feud; now we put Orton in a cell with ‘TBA’. Fuck’s sake. Even the Lesnar thing is not making me feel better, because I just can’t believe that the WWE is going to say ‘Cena’s had three matches against Lesnar in this last stretch; maybe the audience wants something new? Oh hell, can you imagine how awesome it would be if we sent in a dangerous, sick bastard of a heel against Lesnar? Man, nobody would know what to expect!’

Apparently Hulk Hogan says that John Cena will always be the champ. Wow, I wonder who he thinks will always be the president.

Bo Yeah

Oh, I was wondering where our six-man tag match was. But here’s the Usos, followed by Mark Henry; they will face Bo Dallas and the Dust Brothers. How the hell did it take this long for Goldust to get that bitching facepaint? Oh God, Hulk Hogan’s going to be on RAW.  It might be because he was well over the hill when I got into the wrestling scene properly, or his ridiculous and frankly desperate overuse currently, but the only joy I get out of seeing him is in an ironic sense.

Henry immediately goes for Bo Dallas, and considering the 0-3 record he has against Dallas I’d watch yourself, Mark. Stardust and Jey come in instead, giving us a taste of whatever tag team magic we’re in for this week. Stardust punches Jey down, but Jey comes back with a headbutt, tagging in Jimmy. Goldust tags in, but gets backdropped. Stardust tries to interfere, but is clotheslined out of the ring; Bo tries a cheap shot, but Henry runs him off as we go to a break.

Back from the break, the Dust Brothers are in control of who I believe is Jimmy; Goldust has him in a sleeper hold. The Dust Brothers say that they’re not science fiction; they’re science fact, which actually would make them just ‘science’, but hey. Goldust ducks one dragon kick, but Jimmy catches him on the rebound, tagging in Mark Henry. Bo runs right into a clothesline and a boot; Goldust is tossed out of the ring! Stardust nearly eats the World’s Strongest Slam, but rolls out of it…only to get kicked in the face by Jey! Jimmy hurls himself out of the ring onto Goldust, but Stardust catches Jey, tripping him so that he slams his face off the apron. In the ring, Bo is caught by Henry and headbutted. Stardust crossbody’s Mark, only to get World’s Strongest Slammed in truth this time. Bo catches Henry, hits the Running Bo-Dog and gets the win! Holy shit.

Good match. I am so happy about Bo getting the win, especially in the relatively clean fashion. 2.5 Stars.

Renee Young is backstage with Dolph Ziggler, and congratulates him on the win, but Cesaro is suddenly right there. I think Cesaro actually sounds more Swedish that Swiss, but then the guy does speak a lot of languages, so some of that’s going to creep in. Apparently members of my own family don’t know what my accent is supposed to be; feel free to check out the Trashy Ring Attire podcast and chime in with whatever the hell I actually sound like. The boys get into it, and Renee’s moving the microphone in time to catch both of their comments is oddly hilarious. We get a 2-out-of-3 falls match for the title at Hell in a Cell. Man, this is shaping up to a damn decent PPV.

Here’s Seth Rollins along with Noble and Mercury, showing up to a ring loaded with a bunch of stuff; it’s like an artist’s impression of Tommy Dreamer’s living room. He says that Ambrose thought he was the only one with a bag of tricks. Seth taught Dean Ambrose everything he knows, including how to make a resuscitation dummy look like Seth Rollins (which must have been a weird lesson; they were definitely high during that). He mocks the ‘you sold out’ chants and says at least he’s a winner. Rollins knows he’s never been in a cell before, but he’s studied under Triple H and knows that there are no rules. We turn to the table, and are…are those bolt-cutters? I mean…I’ve seen One Night Stand 2005, but…bolt-cutters. Rollins picks up the handcuffs, and a good portion of the arena seating gets a little damp as he talks about cuffing Ambrose. He then gets a screwdriver and makes a pun about ‘screw-up': meh. He turns to what is lead pipe, and says he’ll use it to beat Dean to a pulp, as opposed to stuffing it with explosives and a rag, which would definitely let him beat Ambrose. He picks up the chair, and laughs about how he dissolved the Shield using one of them.

Rollins then yells about how they could settle things right here, right now, and calls Ambrose out. Oh man, RIP in peace, Noble and Mercury. But Dean doesn’t show up. Rollins laughs and says that Dean has always been all talk. Or maybe he’s too smart to show up here. You know what? Where’s Orton? He’s supposed to be pissed at Rollins. Seth says the equivalent of ‘the future’s bright; the future’s Rollins’, and we see him standing on the cell from Monday. But Ambrose is behind Seth when we come back, and wails on him with a kendo stick. Man, he attacked someone during a flashback? Rollins gets thrown into Noble and Mercury as Ambrose cries havoc. But Cruiserweight Security Incorporated gets involved, allowing Seth to level Dean with a clothesline.

Rollins sets up a table, but Ambrose comes back, nearly powerbombing Seth through it before Mercury stops him. Seth bails, leaving Ambrose alone with the two stooges. Clothesline to Noble; DDT to Mercury. Ambrose stares a hole through Seth, and then puts Mercury through a table with an elbow. The crowd chants ‘one more time’, and Dean obliges them with the use of Jamie Noble (JBL: ‘you can’t do that to Jamie Noble! That man once won the lottery!’). Seth strips off the shirt and acts like he’s going to make a move as the crowd actually chants ‘thank you, Ambrose’ in return for the second table spot: what a nice, bloodthirsty group of folks.

Good week, I must say: that’s what a go-home show should feel like. Ziggler and Cesaro definitely had the best match since Cena/Rollins from almost a year ago: maybe even better. Bo getting a win I definitely enjoyed, and the Seth/Dean segments were on point. Everyone aboard the Hell in a Cell train; this week gets an eight.

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Forever Heel Exposing Crap to Nix Thu, 02 Oct 2014 17:47:55 +0000 “Come on Pulse, nix this crap.”, says Nancy.

Thanks Vince, but there are plenty of other places that cover news reports, pro-WWE nonsense, and tons of columns telling you how cool Dean Ambrose is. Don’t be a Mort, dude.

Forever Heel provides readers with something different, and from a different Pov. Any idiot can stand up for Daniel Bryan, or Undertaker, but only I have the spine to stick up for Eva Marie, and Bo Dallas (seriously fans are too stupid to boo him. It’s not his fault). Every dip-crap can tell NXT is a good show, but unlike a lot of WWE marks, I don’t start rubbing my junk when Adrian Neville shows up. Yeah I said it, you got Kenta on your mind.

Beside being something different, Forever Heel exposes the rampant corruption in pro-wrestling. I told you all that Daniel Bryan would “lose his smile”, when he found out he was facing Kane. Bryan had no intention of letting poor Kane win the belt fairly, because Bryan is a poorsport that has run from every opponent he’s ever faced, just like his mentor, HBK. If it was for Miz going to bat for Bryan, Daniel would be wrestling in a six-sided ring.

Forever Heel tells it like it is, and it’s not my fault that Dixie Carter and TNA are giving WWE more competition than they can handle. TNA is just coming off a hot feud between The Harvey Boys and Team 30. TNA also has better storylines, like the rise of the Aces & 8’s. A powerful stable of rookies, guys that are too proud to retire, and Bully Ray. You also can’t criticize them for the way they utilize their talent. The Bromans, and Ken Anderson fight hard to keep their spots. Don’t even lie about how intense and interested Bobby Lashley is at staying TNA champ. That man loves this sport probably as much as the great Bill Goldberg does.

You also can’t blame Forever Heel for standing up for Vince Russo. The man is the Shakespeare of pro-wrestling. He saved WWE, he nearly saved WCW. It’s a little known fact that AOL was going to make WCW their centerpiece show, but backed out when they heard Russo was no longer with WCW. He’s the man who gave us a sex addicted incestuous Mark Henry, and wrote the storyline which showed the entire WCW roster eventually turn heel on DDP. It doesn’t matter why Kanyon and Hugh Morris turned on Page, because Mike Awesome changed gimmicks again. TNA has been brought to the brink of failure many times, and each time Russo saves them. He’s the man behind having Dvon’s own children beat down their father, and probably brought the great Claire Lynch into TNA. Yah Claire.

I know my critics better than most because I drive by a trailer park everyday on my way to work. I feel your pain, and have had similar pains. I once had to drive a pickup truck, and it was awful. I experienced what it was like to be an ignorant inbred driving around bum-fart Pennsylvania. I’m like you guys except I’m not the father of my nephew. By the way, would it kill you guys to get in a few sit-ups before you take your selfies? I’m sick of being bullied by fat guys, thanks.

Heel of the Week: I missed all wrestling this week, but I’ll go with Fandango. He’s still around right? Cool.

Top Nerds in Wrestling

5) Harvey Whippleman

4) Jamison

3) Alexandra York

2) Daniel Bryan

1) AJ Lee.

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