Inside Pulse » Randy Orton http://insidepulse.com A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Tue, 31 Mar 2015 14:00:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1 A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Inside Pulse no A pop culture mega-site with Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games coverage for diehards, including news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary. Inside Pulse » Randy Orton http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://insidepulse.com The Classy Ring Attire Podcast #163: “It’s Mania Play Button Time!” http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/28/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-163-its-mania-play-button-time/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/28/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-163-its-mania-play-button-time/#comments Sat, 28 Mar 2015 16:38:00 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017973 The day is finally upon us. All the Raws are behind us, and its time to take a look at the 31st annual WrestleMania!
http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/craicon2014.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/28/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-163-its-mania-play-button-time/feed/ 0 The day is finally upon us. All the Raws are behind us, and its time to take a look at the 31st annual WrestleMania! The day is finally upon us. All the Raws are behind us, and its time to take a look at the 31st annual WrestleMania! Inside Pulse no 1:08:57
The Three Wiseasses Guide To WWE Wrestlemania 31 http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/27/the-three-wiseasses-guide-to-wwe-wrestlemania-31/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/27/the-three-wiseasses-guide-to-wwe-wrestlemania-31/#comments Fri, 27 Mar 2015 12:05:05 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017754 AND DJ" and David "Bodybuilding PhD" Spain. ]]> 20141031_WM31_TicketSale_LIGHT_HP

It’s Wrestlemania season, and you know what that means… Game of Thrones is premiering soon and the weather will be getting warmer.  This year that’s what you need to be excited about.  Nevertheless, I, James “DDP Yoga” Sawyer thought the readers deserved a preview with the three biggest wiseacres on the site.  Myself, BD “I do CrossFit AND DJ” and David “Bodybuilding PhD” Spain.  Also, autocorrect somehow changed the wiseasses to wiseacres above and I’m leaving it because occasionally it’s fun to curse like a pensioner.

20140331_Fatal4Way_PreShow_LIGHT_HP

Pre-Show Match

WWE Tag Title 4 Way

Cesaro & Kidd (c) vs The Usos vs Los Matadores vs Big E & Kofi Kingston

Hey, remember last year when Cesaro was also on the pre-show?  For his sake, I hope he doesn’t.  Chances are slim for a reappearance later in the card here.  And hey, he’s joined by Tyson Kidd, Big E and Kofi Kingston!  Isn’t that… nice…

Also, I know the above picture is from last year.  It’s called social commentary, fools.

Loser:  Fans of Cesaro, Kidd, Kofi, Big E and Xavier

Spain: Interesting fact: you could cut exactly one half of the teams from this match and it would be worth watching. I know I’ve said this for well over a year now, but Los Matadores make me want to smash my head into whatever hard surface I can find until I die or the match stops. The New Day experiment has been…not even a gigantic failure, really, considering we never really knew what it was supposed to accomplish. So, you know, if neither of those teams end up getting involved in the match for its entirety, I’m sure it’ll be a pretty good one.

Winner: Cesaro and Kidd (why throw away some great future title matches on this pre-show?)

BD: I heartily endorse this pre-show event or product.  (translated, I forgot about this until the last minute and I’m too busy bragging about CrossFit or trying to come up with some new Skrillex remixes or whatever the fuck I do in my spare time)

Winner: everyone who likes a good 4/4 beat

20150224_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HPv2_cenarusev

WWE United States Championship

Rusev (c) w/Lana vs John Cena w/America’s Hopes & Dreams

Sawyer: I can’t really say anything snarky about this, I admire their booking so far.  Rusev beat Cena at Fastlane so badly they had to carry Cena to the back.  He did it with crotch-related shenanigans (also the name of my leaked sex tape) so people finally have a reason to think Rusev is a heel.  Because winning cleanly, consistently beating up Jack Swagger and dating Lana seem like face characteristics to me.  I mean, there’s absolutely no way Cena’s losing this time, but at least it took him two tries to beat Rusev.

And he’s competing for the United States Championship.  See, this is how they need to be using Cena nowadays.  Putting new heels over and bringing legitimacy to secondary titles.  I’ve never been as rabidly anti-Cena as some around here.  Yeah, the guy is overexposed but he still sells t-shirts and is probably the best “face” of the WWE they’ve ever had.  More than a decade on top and no spousal abuse or hard drug scandals, that has to be a new record… for any athletic company.  So I for one welcome our new midcard Cena overlords… may he feud with the Rusevs, Kevin Owens, and Cesaros on their way to the top of the company.

Winner: Cena

Spain:  Okay, do all you Americans get as patriotic as Cena does? Because, swear to God, I cannot grasp that concept. I’m in Britain, and I’d freely agree with any Russian who took shots at our shitty political make-up, the massive child-sex conspiracy that apparently every agency we own has been endorsing and Jeremy Clarkson. So…I guess I’d still be fine with this match being just about the championship rather than another physical paragraph in this nationalistic debate y’all have been having with this Soviet dude.

Actually, the match itself will be pretty decent. Rusev provides a good, physical opponent for Cena (probably the most intimidating since Umaga), and he’s at least been treated more respectfully than Bray ever was. I’m resigned to the fact that Cena is going to end another streak and be on top of that mountain for a little longer and, honestly, I think there’s an argument in favour for one of those big pops when Cena wins. And let’s not forget that if Cena does take the gold, he’s going to elevate the fuck out of that belt, which means that some contenders working with could end up getting a hell of a rub. So…yeah, I guess this is something I’ll manage to get through without too much eye-rolling. As long as John doesn’t do something embarrassingly patriotic for his special WrestleMania entrance…oh God, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

Winner: John Cena, but not in as irritating fashion as usual

BD:  People hate John Cena so much now that Americans cheered for the Putin supporter at the last PPV. That’s going to happen again here, on a much larger scale, and on a much bigger show, so I’d be lying if I said I understood why this match was taking place. And if you think the reason is match quality, then you obviously didn’t see FastLane.

Winner: John Cena

20150224_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HP_OrtonRollins

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton

Sawyer: I haven’t really been keeping up with this feud… or almost anything, but it makes sense.  Orton was the old chosen one of the Authority, Rollins is the new.  Orton is capable of good matches, and Rollins is probably neck-and-injured-neck with Bryan for best pure wrestler in the company now.  Both guys look sleazy, like the wrestling versions of Axe bodyspray and Maxim magazine.  I dunno, I’m looking forward to it.

Winner: Rollins

Spain: So, here’s another feud with some actual build. And some goddamn vicious build at that. I guess I’m holding out for a Rollins cash-in, which I suppose might involve a loss on his part in this match so it technically counts as ‘unexpected’. I really hope that they can make the fight itself as nasty as the beatdowns they’ve been laying on each other, as this is one of the few matches that have actually been built up via genuine interaction. Not really much else to say about this besides: just another one I’m actually interested in and, as always, Randy Orton is at his most entertaining when he’s a face doing despicable things.

Winner: Randy Orton, and Seth will cash in during the next couple of weeks

BD: Orton is really hit or miss with me, and I’d be lying if I said I was hoping Rollins, who’s my favorite wrestler of the moment aside from Brock Lesnar, would have something more fun to do. But Orton can bring it sometimes, so let’s hope this is one of those times. Anyway, it should be the best match on the show, similar to how Punk / Orton was the best match on the show from 27… but just like there, that’s not saying much.

Rollins should win. That’s kinda obvious.

Winner: Seth Rollins

20150309_LIGHT_WM31_Match_BadNewsLadder_HP2

Intercontinental Ladder Match:  Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler (sigh) vs. Dean Ambrose (sigh) vs. R-Truth?! vs. Luke Harper vs. Daniel Bryan (really?!) vs. good booking

Sawyer: You know, it’s not even like the Intercontinental championship is bad, it’s just that they’ve spent years devaluing it and we all know Dean and Dolph should be in the main event fairly consistently already… and Daniel was!  Daniel main-evented this very PPV just 12 months ago!  And here we are.  If Dean and Dolph can use the belt to elevate both it and their careers, like it used to be used for, then great.  It’s historically been shown to be a springboard to people like HBK, Triple H, Stone Cold, The Rock, Jericho, etc.

R-Truth is still employed?!  And able to be on Wrestlemania?!  Nothing against the guy, but he’s been treading water at best since his heel turn way back in 2011, which was awesome, that ended for no reason, which wasn’t awesome.

And what’s Luke Harper’s gimmick now that he’s not a member of the Wyatt family anymore?  Or Erick Rowan’s gimmick for that matter?  “Hey, we’re backwoods True Detective-type creepers… just no longer affiliated in the same group as the main backwoods True Detective-type creeper.”

Winner: Bryan, I guess

Spain: Okay, this could honestly be the match of the night. There’s some seriously good talent in this match, and a ladder match is going to be a great exhibition of this. Ambrose, Ziggler, Bryan and Rhodes are going to be responsible for the best moments of the match, and I’m at least encouraged by the fact that Barrett’s been laying motherfuckers out a little more, considering his incredibly poor treatment as of…ever. I am, however, pissed that Bryan’s in this match when he could be doing almost anything else, although considering Vince’s ‘fuck you and like what I fucking say you like’ attitude, we’re probably lucky he didn’t wind up in the Memorial Battle Royal.

I sort of hope Ziggler walks out with the belt, considering that his championship matches were pretty fantastic and he actually seemed able to use his champion status to elevate himself and the title. Let him have some matches with Bryan for it (the match this past SmackDown is all the justification you need for that) and he’ll be at main event level in no time.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

BD: Well, at least Goldust and Cody didn’t get their own match. I’m guessing they knew it wouldn’t get much reaction, and they are probably right. For the record, I’ve never enjoyed watching Goldust in the ring more than I do now. That he’s this good at this age is impressive. But let’s face facts here – Dusty forgot to use birth control once in the 70’s and once in the 80’s, and one of those accidents came out with some talent. One out of two really ain’t bad, especially given how bad a lot of wrestling kids can be.

In case you’re having trouble with how subtly I’m tiptoeing around my point, Cody sucks ass and is boring as fuck, is what I’m getting at here.

Barrett sucks. It’s nice that the rest of you have just kind of gotten over this whole “Barrett is awesome now!” thing, but you still have to admit I was right about him… again. R-Truth made it on? Good for that dude. I also feel like while people have been watching the Bryan / Lesnar / Reigns plane crash, that they’ve turned their heads away (albeit understandingly) from the Ambrose train wreck. Dude was on fire last year, and didn’t I read he outsold Cena in shirts? I also thought he had feud of the year with Rollins. Now they got him doing this? Dropped ball. Ditto with Ziggler, although that’s been the case for years so it’s nothing new.

It’s a shame they couldn’t have broken Harper, Ziggler, Ambrose and Bryan out into their own matches, which is what I figured they’d do. But those guys are all great fun to watch, so this should be okay.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

20150224_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HPv2_divastag

AJ Lee & Paige vs The Bella Twins

Sawyer: I mean, I guess a Fatal 4-Way would’ve fit better here, although they probably didn’t want to repeat it from the tag match on the pre-show, because if Los Matadores weren’t on the card people would go fucking apeshit.  This could actually turn out pretty decent if they give them time.

Winner: Bella Twins

Spain: Kind of a shame that the Divas Championship is the one title that’s not being defended at this show. Still, they’ve actually done a decent job of giving a motivation for this feud: it’s the cheerleaders vs. the alternatives, and a match for the Divas at WrestleMania that isn’t a battle royal or a live-action music video. I’ve naturally got a lot of faith in AJ and Paige, and Nikki has been impressing me with how much improvement she’s shown in the ring. I haven’t seen much of Brie, but she had a decent match with Stephanie McMahon, and it’d been a while since that woman stepped between the ropes. Honestly, this is one of the matches I’m happy with, although a title match with some top contenders would have been good as well.

#GiveDivasAChance

Winners: Paige and AJ

BD: Bellas are horrible. AJ and Paige are not quite as horrible, but also not very good. So this should be a fantastic match.

Winners: The fans

51g+1OQzmfL._SX300_

The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal (feat. The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Konnor, Viktor, The Big Show and Kane and who knows, probably some guys walking in front of the venue about twenty minutes before the show)

Sawyer: Wait, we’re still doing this?  I just thought it was a nice way to pay tribute to Andre at the thirtieth anniversary of Wrestlemania, doubling as a way to get Cesaro over huge.  I guess it was halfway successful (through no fault of Cesaro’s.)

I just don’t see the point in this, besides a “let’s get all the charity cases on the card” angle.  The first one had Cesaro as a surprise entrant, his only time as an official “face” after turning against Jack Swagger, and him winning after lifting The Big Show over the top rope.  This would have, in a fairer universe, led to Cesaro getting pushed and winning feuds against some established superstars and later catapulted at least into some kind of singles title run and the upper midcard/lower top card.

And we’ve already got Money In The Bank as a “this is the next guy we’re gonna push” match, since that replaced the King Of The Ring.  So again, don’t see the purpose in this besides trotting out the old folks and giving one last paydays to some likely near future endeavors.

Winner: Ryback?

Spain: Ah, hell. Look, I think Battle Royals can be really well done when the participants and length of time are in the match’s favour. Look at the World Heavyweight Championship Battle Royal on SmackDown in 2006: that was an excellently done match, back when SmackDown was still almost a show in its own right, rather than the afterbirth of RAW (yeah, I fucking said it). But this is a world away from that: it’s Kane and Big Show, whose only asset is ‘man, they’re really big’; it’s a whole lot of jobbers and guys with nothing else planned, if the pre-Battle Royal Battle Royal on RAW was any indication, and there’s Ryback.

I think it’s pretty obvious that Ryback’s set up to win but, even if he doesn’t and they swerve us, I won’t be surprised. Because this is a dumb match and a pretty disrespectful way to honour someone (yeah, when I die I want a bunch of losers fighting to own a creepy-ass trophy that looks like me every year. Actually…actually, I kind of want that) and it’s full of people I don’t care about. If had wound up on the pre-show, then at least we’d have all been honest about what this is.

“Winner”: Ryback

BD: This match will surpass all other matches in terms of reminding me what Darren Young looks like.

By the way, I’m all for fondly remembering passed wrestlers once a year, but why did they wait 20 years to start, and then give him every single year? Yes, I know, Andre threw out a bunch of football players and Bret Hart to win the one at WrestleMania 2, but let’s start remembering some other wrestlers. “The Owen Hart Memorial Battle Royale”? “The Eddie Guererro Memorial Battle Royal”? “The Shaemus’ Career Battle Royal”? (And no, since you’re going to ask, I’m never going to stop reminding you how many of you yelled at me that Shaemus would be main eventing WrestleMania by over a year ago.)

Anyway, given what Cesaro reaped as a reward all of last year for his win (I see his ascent up the mountain now includes teaming with Tyson Kidd for some reason), I’m not sure why anyone wouldn’t just throw themselves over the top rope as soon as this starts. Maybe that’s how they’re weeding out the dumber wrestlers, like how they electrified those cupcakes on The Simpsons.

How am I supposed to predict a winner on that basis, exactly? I can see Miz, Swagger, and Axel getting electrocuted a LOT during an electrified cupcake experiment… but I doubt anyone would do as well as my prediction, plus WWE is like a disgruntled ex when it comes to CM Punk.

Winner: Ryback

20150224_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HPv2

Sting vs. Triple H

Sawyer: A combined century will be in the ring in this match… woof.  I was never a huge Sting guy, though I appreciate his effort and I’ll always remember his match against Jeff Hardy at Victory Road fondly.

Some people think they’ll have Sting go over so he can face Undertaker next year… why?  At first collar-and-elbow lockup they’d both explode into dust like vampires.

Sting and Undertaker are old, is what I’m saying.

Winner: Sting & the legacy of southern wrasslin’

Spain: I’ll admit that I’ve never actually seen a Sting match. I know, right: not old enough to have been a WCW fan back when I got into wrestling properly (to put this in context, the first PPV I ever saw was SummerSlam 2002 when I was eleven years old). But I get it: he’s a big deal, and I’ll likely go back and check out some of his matches with Flair before this show in an effort to create any form of hype for myself.

Triple H, on the other hand, formed a huge part of my wrestling experience. My parents weren’t over-fond of me watching this barbaric sports entertainment programme back when I was a tender lad of fourteen, so the very act of watching it without getting caught doing so required huge amounts of dedication. And considering that Trips’ hold on the championship was fucking vice-like back then, I spent a lot of time really putting in the effort to watch, in effect, a show about him.

But I can’t get excited for this match. By the way, this is going to be a general theme of my thoughts in general as we get into the main event matches, so get used to reading that. Triple H is capable of putting on a good match with the right opponent. I didn’t much care for his Lesnar matches, other than the massive satisfaction of watching that son of a bitch I hated from 2002 – 2006 get his arms broken, but the Undertaker matches were pretty decent. All in all, I don’t think Hunter should be wrestling anymore. I could have happily watched him hang up his boots after that Undertaker Cell match, but life’s not that fair.

Sting…okay, I’ve seen (at this time of writing) a few punches, two Scorpion Death Drops and a Stinger Splash. And, based on what that looked like, I’m not confident that this guy can put on a good show. Back when people wanted him to face the Undertaker, we never pretended it was for any reason other than ‘those two guys in the same ring at the same time’. We didn’t kid ourselves that the match would be good, because we knew it wouldn’t be. This match is going to be like that, except without us caring about the fact that both Triple H and Sting are in the same place at the same time.

Jesus, this is optimistic, isn’t it?

Winner: Sting

BD: I think it’s okay to be a fan of someone and still not want to see them wrestle at 56 years old. I’ve always liked Sting, and I actually do think he’s aged fairly gracefully in wrestling years. And he hasn’t been active for a while, which means he is either in very good or very poor shape, and nothing in between. I dug seeing Sting at Survivor Series, and it’s cool to see him in WWE. But for me personally, I don’t really need to see that extend to a match.

I could actually pretty much say the same about Triple H in terms of being a fan and not wanting to see the guy wrestle anymore. I’m not saying I mind seeing him on the show, he’s a good bad guy, and in the ring I always thought he was good, but as can happen, the last few years he’s not been much fun to watch in the ring. Those Undertaker matches are ridiculously over-rated and the Brock matches made me pine for his matches with Steiner.

My buddy Joel from Classy Ring Attire said it best… that they continue to push that this is a match 14 years in the making. That said, perhaps if it were 14 years ago, or even 5 years ago, I’d be excited. I’m not dreading it, but let’s just say my expectations are low. And if you don’t know who the winner is, then there’s a good chance you’re one of the types that think HHH is going to shoot on Sting for an old WCW beef or something equally asinine.

Winner: Sting

20150224_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HPv2_takerbray

Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

Sawyer: So let me get this straight… either Wyatt loses, proving that as a fresh, 27-year-old man he can’t beat someone who will be 50 at Wrestlemania, or The Undertaker loses, which is no big deal because he lost last time so the shock value is over.  I think the real loser here is the audience.  The only possible redeeming factor in this would be if Wyatt beats him so thoroughly that Taker retires and the legend of weird, cartoony-level persona is passed onto Bray.

No disrespect to The Undertaker, he was one of my first favorite wrestlers and someone who legitimately freaked me out as an 8-year-old, but time is the greatest opponent of all and I’d rather see him go out when he doesn’t need a walker to do an “Old School” off the ropes.

Winner: uh…Taker I guess

Spain: This is one of those ‘if’ matches.

As in: ‘this match would be amazing if it had happened five years ago’ (Undertaker gets younger; Bray time-travels FYI).

Or ‘this match would be great if the streak was still going’.

Or ‘I’d be really psyched if the Undertaker had just shown the fuck up at least once’.

In reality, which we unfortunately live in, they’ve built this match on Bray talking and a chair catching fire, and what’s on the line is that Taker’s streak might get a little more sullied. The difference between 21-1 and 22-0 is earth-shattering in WWE terms.

22-1 and 21-2? Who gives a fuck? Not me, and if you do, then you need help but don’t deserve any.

Undertaker can’t go like he used to; he and Lesnar proved that. And whilst Bray can put on a good showing, I don’t think one guy can carry a match above a certain level. We’re not even getting the tension that comes from every near-fall of the match, which was the part I loved most about the Streak matches.

For the first time in years, we’re going to get bored during an Undertaker match.

What world is this?

Winner: The Undertaker, who I don’t think has to lose a match ever again after last year.

BD: God, do I fucking hate watching a lot of Bray Wyatt matches – before you start sending me comment-bombs, let me just say that his WRESTLING matches are fantastic, particularly when he has the right opponent. But much like I said about Sting… and Triple H… I don’t need to see Undertaker wrestle anymore, AND that Undertaker is not the guy that’s going to give Wyatt that good wrestling match. Which means it’s going to be some more overly contrived horror-movie bullshit. And that makes my stomach turn.

Man, last year around this time was when my cousin and her husband got into wrestling, so they invited me to watch WrestleMania, right? They fucking LOVE this Wyatt guy. And it’s not like I don’t like him, so I didn’t mind, but then he started doing his whole “HIT ME WITH THE CHAIR EMBRACE YOUR DARK SIDE JOHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNN” and I remembered why the Wyatt character’s more “supernatural” acting made me want to stick my wet dick into an electrical socket. And then he did that lame crab-walk thing and the 6 people I was watching with, most of them strangers, we’re all like “OH MY GOD THAT’S SO CREEPY AND AMAZING” and I was like “… just kick him in the face, idiot.” You should have seen the looks I got.

I remember posting about that on here. I got comments like “you have to put yourself in the moment, if you were Cena, wouldn’t it make you think OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DEALING WITH HERE” and I was like “… no. It wouldn’t, and even if it did catch me off guard for half a second, the dude is trapped in a yoga pose and unable to protect his face, so why have I not kicked his fucking face in already?” Cena stood there like he was waiting for Wade Barrett to main event WrestleMania one day. (And no, since you’re going to ask, I’m never going to stop reminding you how many of you yelled at me that Wade Barrett would be main eventing WrestleMania by over a year ago.)

… okay, those last paragraphs got away from me. The point is, I hate overly contrived horror movie bullshit with lame special effects in wrestling, and that’s what this is going to be. The ONLY thing this match has going for it for me is that it’s not overly obvious who’s going to win, and that can be fun. Despite what others have said, I don’t think a win really hurts (and it definitely doesn’t kill) Wyatt here. Actually, I think it could help him with some of his overly contrived horror movie tortured character that you all seem to love.

Winner: The Undertaker

20150125_LIGHT_WM31_Match_HP

WWE Championship Match

Brock Lesnar (c) w/Paul Heyman vs Roman Reigns (with Vince’s sweaty desperation)

Sawyer: This will likely be the best match on the card, if you like watching Wrestlemania ironically or for trainwreck purposes.  If the WWE really want to hedge their bets, this won’t be the last match on the card, unless they want to end their most important PPV with their next John Cena skipping the first few years of being popular and moving straight ahead to being divisive and overexposed.

Brock might stealthily have the best gimmick in the company as “guy who really, truly gives zero fucks.”  He doesn’t need money, he lives a Ron Swanson lifestyle of killing animals for their meat and fur with his bare hands.  He doesn’t care about his legacy, and he’s like a real-life version of Marv from Sin City so absolutely no one in the back could rough him up on McMahon’s behalf.

Seriously, good for Brock.  He’s fucking over Vince twice for all the guys who never got a chance to.  He’s karma in a crew cut.

Winner: Lesnar, especially since they announced him re-signing this week

Spain: I have been saying literally for months now that there is a right and a wrong way to build Reigns. For a while, WWE stumbled blindly down the wrong way: dumb jokes for the kids, getting helped out by the Rock, having everyone go: ‘well, fuck, isn’t Roman Reigns the awesomest guy ever?’ Now, finally, it seems like we’re approaching the right track, just way too late and not enough. Reigns has had some moments where he looked like a total badass. He kicked out of a move that even Cena couldn’t at Fast Lane; he’s decimated the Authority singlehanded and has, recently, flattened the fuck out of Henry.

But the whole chip on his shoulder thing is a little lame: Roman doesn’t need some kind of mission to prove himself; he needs to say that he’s the baddest motherfucker in the business, and he wants the belt so he’s taking the belt, and if Lesnar has a problem with that, he’ll rip out his larynx and make Heyman eat it.

Look at the way they treated Lesnar during his recent interview: he sat in a chair and talked about how he loves destroying people, and that he can destroy anyone, and Reigns is a dead man, whilst Heyman says that if anyone tries to screwjob his client, then Brock will walk out of WrestleMania with Vince’s and Hunter’s corpses over his shoulders. There was an air of otherness about Lesnar, because nobody else in the WWE is psycho enough to have ‘kill everyone’ as their motivation. If Reigns wants to be seen as a viable threat, he should be meeting that level of antagonism instead of just saying ‘I think I can; I know I can’.

Maybe it’s because WWE wants us to relate to that guy: to empathize with him and so more easily give them our money. Well, I’ve got news for you: I stopped wanting to be a professional wrestler when I turned eighteen, and I really don’t feel like I have much in common with WWE employees other than a love of weightlifting and a pretty obscene calorie intake (bulking is fucking hard). I don’t even want to be able to empathize with the guy who holds the biggest belt in the industry; I want that guy to be standing on a tower of skulls, bathed in blood and howling his dominance to the taller towers of skulls around him. I don’t want to see myself and my own occasionally-shaky confidence staring back at me when I look at Reigns; I want to think ‘that guy could rip my arm out of its socket and beat me to death with it’. This is wrestling, people!

We keep saying that Bryan should be getting the shot and, God in heaven, I wish he’d gotten it, but do you know who else would have made this better? Randy Orton. Orton wouldn’t be talking about he’s just as good as Lesnar; he’d be spending every spare second trying to hospitalize the gigantic bastard before they even got to WrestleMania. And none of this is helped by the fact that Reigns and Lesnar are going to meet for the first time the week of WrestleMania. It’s just not the ideal way to build to a main event, especially when they’re trying to get Heyman to make it seem personal.

Honestly, I think that this is symptomatic of the wider problem of the use of part-timers. Yes, having the main events featuring big guys on a ‘one night only’ basis is a great way to get numbers up for a PPV. But when you’re trying to build a long storyline and tradition, having a guy who’s there for a few times a year isn’t going to cut it. The big three matches of WrestleMania this year feature two guys who show up every week in an active capacity: Roman and Bray. Undertaker hasn’t been here for a year. Lesnar has been better, but tragically underused for building a WrestleMania main event. Sting has yet to wrestle a match yet, or appear for longer than five minutes at a time. After this year, the experiment has to end. WWE has some great talent, and they should think about how to utilise it. This could be the Undertaker’s last match; Brock’s thinking of leaving and who knows how long Sting’s going to stick around? The Monday night after WrestleMania needs to signal some serious change, and some serious appreciation for the employees they have under contract.

To sum up, I’ll finish by saying what I’ve been saying for a while now: they should have planned it better; they had all of the resources and time to make it better and they had us all letting them know how they could have made it better.

WrestleMania, this year, is not going to be very good. And I’m not going to get a sense of vicious satisfaction out of that, either. Because what might have been would have been awesome. Because we’re missing out on moments we’ll not get another chance to see. Because this show could have benefited a lot of superstars and, by extension, their employer. Because really, this Sunday, we’re going to be watching an entire wrestling company cut off its nose to spite its face.

Now somebody tell me just how that’s best for business.

Winner: Roman Reigns

BONUS Desired Result: Lesnar, who then falls victim to a Rollins Cash-In.

BD: I have no idea what I can say about this match that hasn’t already been said. Personally, I love Brock and am sad to see him go if he is indeed leaving, but if he wants to go do UFC then I say good for him. Brock has had some great matches since he’s been back, so I’m rooting for him, but obviously he’s losing here, probably even if he’s not leaving. Best case scenario, he wins but then Rollins cashes in. I love Rollins too, so I got no issue there.

I also like Roman. He’s not my favorite guy, but I got no problems with him. WWE is really screwing him by putting him into the position he’s in right now and the way they’re doing it, so I’m expecting a HIGHLY entertaining crowd here. Nothing wrong with that. Poor Roman – but, if he’s got a problem with it, then one wonders why he hasn’t looked at management and been like “the fuck?”

Tough to say how this will be wrestling-wise – both guys have had good matches with more entertaining wrestlers, but not sure how they’ll do with each other.

Winner: Roman Reigns

In conclusion, thanks for reading, we look forward to LL Cool J’s heel turn and the possibility of a twenty-minute concert by either a has-been or someone we’ve never heard of.
http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/wrestlemania31blacklogo-120×120.png

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/27/the-three-wiseasses-guide-to-wwe-wrestlemania-31/feed/ 0
Daniel Bryan ‘Just Say Yes! Yes! Yes!’ DVD/Blu-ray Content And Match List http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/daniel-bryan-just-say-yes-yes-yes-dvdblu-ray-content-and-match-list/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/daniel-bryan-just-say-yes-yes-yes-dvdblu-ray-content-and-match-list/#comments Tue, 24 Mar 2015 23:00:37 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017537 Once he was known as “The American Dragon” Bryan Danielson. But the WWE Universe knows him as Daniel Bryan. The leader of the YES! movement, who is sometimes begrudgingly referred to as “The Flying Goat” or “B-plus Player,” Bryan is an anomaly as a sports entertainer as he doesn’t have that signature look that management covets. Yet, he is one of the most popular personalities the entertainment leader has. While a retrospective release seems a bit presumptuous, WWE Home Video will nonetheless give fans over 7 hours of Daniel Bryan goodness this May with the release of Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes! Yes! Yes!.

Both the DVD and Blu-ray will have an extended version of the WWE Network “Journey to WrestleMania” documentary, a compilation of bonus matches and segments featuring Daniel Bryan, plus an all-new interview with the man himself.

Exclusive to Blu-ray are four additional matches and nearly 20 other extras (stories) as well.

DISC 1

“Journey to WrestleMania” Documentary:

The Journey Begins
Chasing The Dream
Shawn Michaels
Independent Scene
Remaining Humble
NXT
The Nexus
Press Conference
WrestleMania XXVII
The History of Yes!
WrestleMania XXVIII
Daniel Bryan: WWE Superstar
The Yes Movement
Kickboxing
Media Frenzy
Training for WrestleMania
Triple H
Occupy Raw
The Movement Grows Stronger
Brie
WrestleMania Axxess
Hall of Fame
WrestleMania XXX
Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H
Triple Threat Match
Champion
Reaching Your Dream

DISC 2

Power of Yes

Tryout

American Dragon & Shooter Schultz vs. Brian Kendrik & Lance Cade
Austin, TX [SmackDown Taping] • February 8, 2000

Extra List

Jamie Noble vs. Brian Danielson
Velocity • January 18, 2003

Getting Signed

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho
NXT • February 23, 2010

Borderline Insulting

United States Championship Match
The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
Night of Champions • September 19, 2010

Money in the Bank Winner

World Heavyweight Championship Match
The Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
TLC • December 18, 2011

Champion

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Daniel Bryan vs. The Big Show
SmackDown • January 6, 2012

Redemption Match

2 out of 3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Extreme Rules • April 29, 2012

Anarchist

No Disqualification Match for the WWE Championship
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
Special Guest Referee: AJ Lee
Money in the Bank • July 15, 2012

Team Hell No

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan & Kane
Night of Champions • September 16, 2012

Punk_v_Bryan-MITB_2012

DISC 3

B-Plus Player

Gauntlet Match
Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro and Ryback
RAW • July 22, 2013

SummerSlam Main Event

WWE Championship Match
John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan
Special Guest Referee: Triple H
SummerSlam • August 18, 2013

Great Moment / Short Reign

No Disqualification Match
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
RAW • March 17, 2014

The YES Movement

Triple Threat Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan
WrestleMania XXX • April 6, 2014

Victory, Injury, & Recovery

Daniel Bryan’s Big Announcement
RAW • December 29, 2014

What’s Next??

Winner Will Face Brock Lesnar At WrestleMania For The WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns
FastLane • February 22, 2015

WM30_DanielBryan-Champion

BLU-RAY EXCLUSIVES

He Gave Me A Lot

John Cena vs. Brian Danielson
Velocity • February 8, 2003

Mentor

Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal
NXT • April 13, 2010

Brie

Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella vs. Ted DiBiase & Maryse
RAW • December 6, 2010

Daniel Bryan and Kane Attend Anger Management
RAW • August 2012

The Wyatt Family’s Newest Member

Steel Cage Tag Team Match
The Usos vs. Bray Wyatt & Daniel Bryan
RAW • January 13, 2014

Stories:

School of Wrestling
Just A Dude
Memphis Developmental
King of the Indy’s
Stigma
Charisma
NXT Troubles
Fired
Yes / No ?
The Proposal
Giant YES!
Book of Yes
The Beard
http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Daniel-Bryan-2014-120×120.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/daniel-bryan-just-say-yes-yes-yes-dvdblu-ray-content-and-match-list/feed/ 0
A2Z Analysiz: The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania (Randy Orton, Triple H) http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/a2z-analysiz-the-25th-anniversary-of-wrestlemania-randy-orton-triple-h-2/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/a2z-analysiz-the-25th-anniversary-of-wrestlemania-randy-orton-triple-h-2/#comments Tue, 24 Mar 2015 21:00:38 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017434 wrestlemania 25

For an easy to navigate archive of all my WWE DVD reviews, please visit World Wrestling Reviews!

Reliant Stadium – Houston, TX – Sunday, April 5, 2009

MATCH #1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match – CM Punk vs. Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. Christian

It’s nice to have Christian back. As usual with these types of matches I don’t expect to do much play-by-play. Henry and Kane clear the ring and go at it early on. Shelton and Christian team up to introduce the first ladder, taking Kane and Henry down. Kingston then dropkicks it back onto both of them and hits the Boom-Boom legdrop. Kane and Henry recover and make the first attempt to climb the ladder, but the other six guys all team up to take them down. They all climb the ladders now, and Henry and Kane return the favor by knocking them down. Punk and Kofi wind up in the ring together, and instead of fighting they hit stereo suicide dives onto Christian, MVP, and Kane. Shelton climbs to the top of a very tall ladder and somersaults off it into the crowd, and it doesn’t look like they did a very good job catching him. Henry then teases a dive off the top rope, but Finlay stops him with his shillelagh. Hornswoggle introduces a step-ladder, and uses it to help catapult himself off the top rope onto the mass of competitors on the floor. Finlay is left alone in the ring and brings a ladder in. Kofi knocks him off the ladder with a Trouble in Paradise. I’m having trouble keeping up with everything. Punk and MVP wind up on the ladder and Christian pulls MVP down. Christian goes after Punk and gets kicked in the face. He perseveres though, and takes Punk off the ladder with the Un-Prettier. Shelton and MVP unfortunately blow a sunset bomb off the ladder. Bummer dudes. Shelton then hits a powerbomb on MVP to the floor, right onto Henry and Tony Atlas. He then knocks Finlay off the ladder, and Christian pulls Shelton down. Shelton and Christian climb up a ladder together, and Christian sends Shelton crashing to the floor. The crowd goes nuts as Christian gets close to the briefcase. Punk swoops in out of nowhere but Christian is able to get Punk’s leg tied up in the ladder. Kane joins them and Chokeslams Christian down to the mat. Punk untangles his foot and kicks Kane down and grabs the briefcase to become the first-ever two-time Money in the Bank winner at 14:23. Money in the Bank is one of the more reliable WWE matches, and this one was no different. Amazing spots and I certainly didn’t predict Punk winning, so great stuff all around.
Rating: ****

MATCH #2: 25-Diva Battle Royal to Determine the First-Ever Miss WrestleMania

We skip over the entrances and right into the awkward brawling. A bunch of divas get eliminated and the crowd does not care. It’s nice that Victoria, who was so irritated with WWE when she left and still talks crap about them now that she’s in TNA, found it in her heart to take a WrestleMania payday. Phoenix gets rid of a few divas. Santina Marella simultaneously eliminates Phoenix and Melina to become Miss WrestleMania at 6:11. That was just all kinds of boring and pointless. You couldn’t even tell who was in the match.
Rating: DUD

MATCH #3: 3-on-1 Handicap Elimination Match – Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat with “Nature Boy” Ric Flair in their corner vs. Chris Jericho

Piper starts the match for the Hall of Fame team. He clotheslines Jericho to the floor and follows him out. He slaps Jericho around a bit. Back in the ring Piper gets a sunset flip and a sort of dropkick. He brings Jericho over to the corner and tags Snuka. Jericho can’t get any offense going here. Snuka tags Steamboat, who hits a cross body block off the top rope and starts going to work on the arm. Steamboat looks amazing, like he can totally still go. He tags Snuka back in, and within moments Jericho sweeps the legs and locks on the Walls of Jericho and Snuka taps out at 3:45. Piper rejoins the match and puts on the Sleeper. Jericho escapes and hits a running enziguiri to eliminate Piper at 4:46.

Steamboat comes in with a high cross body block off the top rope but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho wears Steamboat down, but the veteran is still able to skin the cat and backdrops Jericho to the floor. The Dragon follows Jericho out with a slingshot dive. The crowd goes nuts for Steamboat. He goes up and hits the chop off the top rope, and he’s rolling. He gets an O’Connor Roll for two. Jericho comes back with a bulldog, but misses the Lionsault. He charges at Steamboat and gets caught in a powerslam for two. Jericho puts the Walls of Jericho on, and Steamboat gets an inside cradle for two! Moments later Jericho hits the Code Breaker to get the pin and win the match at 8:58. As soon as Piper and Snuka got out of the way, this got very entertaining. Steamboat looked like he could go in a singles match; Piper and Snuka not so much.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #4: Extreme Rules Match – Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Jeff starts off by slapping his older brother in the face, and the brawl is on. It quickly spills to the floor, where Jeff is firmly in control. Back in the ring Jeff tries Whisper in the Wind but Matt swats him out of the air with a chair and gets a two-count. Matt goes to work on his younger brother, hitting the Side Effect on a chair for two. A table is set up on the floor, but no one goes through it just yet. Jeff recovers and knocks Matt off the apron, and he follows him down with a clothesline. Back in the ring Jeff uses a trash can to abuse his older brother. The corner dropkick gets two. Jeff hits a gourdbuster and goes up top and tries the Swanton. Matt moves and then hits the Twist of Fate for two. He goes up top but Jeff knocks him down and hits a superplex. Jeff then clobbers Matt with a chair, and takes him to the floor to set him up on the table. He sets a chair on his brother, and then another table on top of the first one. Jeff goes to the top rope and crashes through the table. Back in the ring Jeff gets a two-count. Jeff hits a legdrop off a steel chair and sets up a ladder. He tries another legdrop over a really tall ladder, but Matt moves and Jeff crashes down hard to the canvas. Matt gets up and traps Jeff’s head in a steel chair and hits a Twist of Fate to get the pin at 13:14. They did some creative spots but it somehow lacked the intensity I thought it would have. Some day these guys are bound to have a great match with each other, but it hasn’t happened yet.
Rating: ***¼

MATCH #5: Intercontinental Championship Match – JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL has been the champion since 3.9.09, and this is his first defense. Mysterio’s gear tonight is an interpretation of Heath Ledger’s Joker, which is pretty cool. Lawler notes the homage, to which JR replies, “I think Rey’s career is alive and well,” which seems like a poor choice of words. JBL hits a boot to Rey’s face before the bell can ring and works him over in the corner. The referee lets Rey recover and then rings the bell. Rey gets an enziguiri, the 619, and a splash off the top rope to get the pin and win the Intercontinental Title at 0:21. Not much of a match, but a fitting match for JBL to go out on.
Rating: ¼*

MATCH #6: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to use his speed early on, and Undertaker counters with his extraordinary power. Undertaker takes control early on, working on Shawn’s back. He hits Old School but misses a charger in the corner and Michaels goes after the knee. They trade control back and forth a few times. Michaels locks on the Crossface and Undertaker powers out with a side slam for two. The ever-resilient Michaels storms back with a flurry of offense. Michaels tries an axe handle off the top rope but Undertaker catches him by the throat. He avoids that and knocks Undertaker down with a kick and tries the Figure-Four. Undertaker counters and locks on Hell’s Gate. Michaels reaches the ropes. Undertaker tries the legdrop on the apron but Michaels moves, and then follows up with a baseball slide to knock Undertaker back. Michaels tries a moonsault but misses and lands hard on the floor. Undertaker recovers and launches himself over the top rope but Michaels pulls a cameraman in front of him and the cameraman does a horrible job of catching Undertaker, who appears to land directly on his skull. Michaels revives the referee and tries to get him to count Undertaker out, but the Dead Man just barely makes it back to the ring before the count of 10. He sets up for Sweet Chin Music but Undertaker counters with a chokeslam and Michaels kicks out at two! Undertaker looks incredulous. He tries the Tombstone but Michaels counters to hit the Sweet Chin Music and Undertaker kicks out! Michaels gets back to his feet but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and goes for the Last Ride. After several counters Undertaker hits the move but Michaels kicks out at two! Undertaker hooking the leg and overtly showing his frustration is great touches. He goes to the top rope and misses a big elbow drop. They get back to their feet and Undertaker throws Michaels over the ropes. Michaels skins the cat, but Undertaker catches him with the Tombstone but Michaels kicks out! The look on Undertaker’s face is priceless. Undertaker pulls the straps down and goes for the Tombstone but Michaels counters to a DDT. Michaels goes up top and hits the elbow. He sets up for Sweet Chin Music and nails it, but Undertaker kicks out at two! They get back to their feet and trade blows. Michaels counters another Tombstone attempt and kicks a charging Undertaker in the face. He tries a Moonsault but Undertaker hits the Tombstone to get the win in this absolutely epic match at 30:41. If anything even comes close to this in Match of the Year voting I’ll be stunned. This is the real match of the year, because the fans aren’t chanting “Match of the Year” and the wrestlers didn’t hug each other and talk about the great match they just had. Everyone in the building simply knew. I think this might be the greatest match of All Time.
Rating: *****

MATCH #7: Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Edge has been the champion since 2.15.09, and this is his second defense. I must say that Edge comparing himself to Jesus is pretty awesome. Cena goes right after Edge but gets steamrolled by Show. Edge tries to make an arrangement with Show, and his nuts pay for it. Cena tries an early Attitude Adjustment on Edge but Show breaks it up. Show is dominant over both men in the early going. Cena recovers and knocks Show to the floor, and follows him out with a legdrop off the top rope. That was cool. Edge and Cena get back in the ring, and Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment but Edge counters to the Edgecution for a two-count. The champion goes up top and Cena knocks him to the floor. Meanwhile Show gets back in the ring and hits a side slam on Cena for two. Cena recovers and goes on offense, but Chavo pulls him to the floor. That’s bad news for Chavo though, as Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment. Show gets tied up in the ropes and Cena takes advantage by hitting the Proto-Plex on Edge and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Vickie gets up on the apron and Edge accidentally Spears her. Cena gets a rollup for two. Show finally escapes and resumes his domination. He goes for a double chokeslam and only Cena avoids it. Cena can’t avoid the right hand though, and he falls to the floor. Edge is out there too, so Show joins the party. Show tries to Chokeslam Edge on the floor, but Edge counters to a DDT. Edge sets up the steps and uses them for extra momentum to hit a Spear on Show, sending them both crashing through the guardrail and into the crowd. Back in the ring Edge goes for a cover on Cena but only gets two. Edge tries a Spear but Cena counters to the STF. Show breaks it up and tosses Cena to the floor. Back in the ring Show tries a Vader Bomb but Edge moves out of the way. Cena gets back in the ring and along with Edge suplexes Show down. They seem to make a tenuous agreement to get rid of the big man, and they clothesline him to the floor. The second Show is gone Edge boots Cena in the face for a two-count. Edge tries to hit the Edge-o-Matic but Cena avoids it and hits the Throwback. Cena goes up top and Show pushes him directly into a Spear. Show breaks up the count. Back in the ring Edge gets Show in a sleeper, and Cena picks both of them up! He hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment, and then hits one on Edge, landing him on top of Show. Cena then pins Show to win the title for the second time at 14:43. That match doesn’t get much love, but I thought it was a lot fun and had some really creative spots. I also liked the finish.
Rating: ***½

MATCH #8: WWE Championship Match – Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Triple H has been the champion since 2.15.09 and this is his first defense. If Triple H gets counted out or disqualified, he will lose the title. The champion starts out hot, throwing punch after punch in the early going. The referee tries to restrain the champion, reminding him of the DQ clause. That gives Orton the chance to recover and he hits an RKO! Orton sets up for the Punt Kick but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree! They both roll to the floor and Triple H clobbers Orton from behind and slams him into the announce table. Orton rolls back in the ring and Triple H dumps a bottle of water on himself to try and revive himself. Back in the ring the champion resumes throwing punches at the challenger. Orton tries begging off, but Triple H will have none of it. Back on the floor Orton reverses an Irish whip and sends Triple H crashing into the steel steps. Orton then throws Triple H over the guardrail and the referee starts the count. Triple H makes it back in the ring at seven, and the challenger is all over him. The crowd totally becomes interested in something else at this point. Triple H makes the comeback I think, but I’m about as interested as the crowd. Orton hits a powerslam for two. They counter each other a few times and Triple H ends the series with a clothesline for two. They’re just trading moves and counters back and forth, and sometimes the crowd reacts. Triple H jumps off the top rope but Orton catches him with a dropkick. Orton tries the Punt Kick again but Triple H catches the boot and flips Orton over the top rope to the floor. Triple H follows Orton to the floor and teases using a TV monitor, but the referee reminds him that he’ll lose the title and he thinks better of it. Way to deflate the crowd with that stipulation. Triple H goes for a Pedigree on the announce table but Orton counters with a back drop. Orton then hits the DDT to the floor and rolls back in the ring. Triple H barely makes it back in the ring and Orton stomps away at him. The champion starts making the comeback so Orton manipulates the referee to take him out. Orton then hits an RKO and goes under the ring to grab the sledgehammer. Before he can use it Triple H punts him in the head, and then uses the sledgehammer himself. They roll around for another few minutes for some reason, and then Triple H hits a simple Pedigree to get the pin at 23:34. The match was long and pretty dull. The crowd would have probably popped louder if they had streamlined the Triple H Punt Kick/Sledgehammer/Pedigree combo. I like both guys but they never really have very good matches against each other.
Rating: **½
http://media.insidepulse.com/zones/wrestling/uploads/2010/04/a2z500-120×120.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/24/a2z-analysiz-the-25th-anniversary-of-wrestlemania-randy-orton-triple-h-2/feed/ 0
WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results For 3/23/15: The Final RAW Before Wrestlemania http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/23/wwe-monday-night-raw-live-results-for-32315-the-final-raw-before-wrestlemania/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/23/wwe-monday-night-raw-live-results-for-32315-the-final-raw-before-wrestlemania/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2015 23:59:08 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017396 WWE-Raw-Logo-2012-500x250

 

It’s the final RAW before Wrestlemania, and it is also my final RAW Review for InsidePulse.

We’re Live On Nitro! Oh Wait…

Sting came out to start the show. He said this is what it feels like to kick off RAW. He said HHH has done whatever he has had to do to get to the top. HHH thinks he is unstoppable. But Sting isn’t here to fight for WCW. He’s here to take Triple H down. Stephanie McMahon came out. She said so this is what it feels like to be in the ring with the Stinger. She said now he knows what it feels like to make the big time. Sting said she is still the same spoiled brat who has had everything handed to her and thinks she earned it. She said Sting isn’t the big dog like he is in WCW. She said she is the daughter of the man who ended his career when he bought WCW. She sad WCW lost. And Sting is going to lose any respect the fans still have for him when her husband pins him in the middle of the ring. She called Sting a face painted freak.

Sting wooed and winked at Steph, but Sting stopped her by grabbing her wrist. Triple H came out. Steph handed Triple H a sledgehammer, but Sting pulled out his bat. Triple H backed out of entering the ring. Sting dropped the bat and begged HHH to enter the ring, but HHH still backed away.

I’d Rather Have R-Truth On Commentary

Dean Ambrose and R-Truth vs Luke Harper and Stardust. Stardust landed some early punches on Truth. Truth came back with one of his own. Both men tagged out. Ambrose took Harper down with a headlock. Ambrose came back with a crossbody and landed some shots in the corner. Ambrose hit a running knee then a dropkick. Stardust came in but Ambrose and Truth dumped him and then Harper.

Back from break the heels had control over Ambrose. Ambrose tried fighting back but Stardust connected on an Alabama Slam for two. Harper came in and connected on a side slam for two. Stardust came in and went for a superplex, but Ambrose blocked it and dropped him face first. Harper tagged in and shoved Ambrose off the apron. Ambrose recovered and hit a tilt-a-whirl DDT on Harper. Truth got the hot tag and went to work on Stardust. All four men ended up in the ring. Ambrose hit a dive to the outside on Harper. Truth ended up hitting the Lie Detector for the win.

WINNERS: Dean Ambrose and R-Truth

Ryback, Erick Rowan, Zach Ryder and the Prime Time Players defeated The Ascension, Miz, Mizdow and Adam Rose after Ryback pinned the Miz.

Why Isn’t Mercury In His MNM Gear???

Via the App, Randy Orton’s opponents were chosen to be Seth Rollins and J & J Security over Kane or Big Show. Orton slammed Mercury into the ground and begged him to tag in Rollins. Mercury pretended to but then tagged in Noble. Orton tossed Noble to the outside and went to grab Rollins but Mercury stopped him. Noble took advantage and landed some elbows. Orton came back and ended up hitting the middle rope DDT on both Noble and Mercury. Rollins tried a sneak attack but Orton turned around. Rollins bailed, then Orton hit the RKO on Noble to pick up the win.

WINNER: Randy Orton

Of Course The Frenemies Explode!

Paige vs Nikki Bella. Paige took down Nikki early and landed some blows, then landed some knees on Nikki in the ropes. Nikki recovered on the outside but Paige hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in the ring Nikki caught Paige with a knee to the gut then a knee to the face for two. Back from break Paige caught Nikki with a knee then there was a double clothesline. Nikki caught a charging Paige with a kick to the face. Nikki went for her KO punch but Paige ducked and hit a superkick for two. Paige went for a clothesline but Nikki ducked and hit an Alabama Slam for two. Nikki went for the Rack Attack but Paige hit the RamPaige but Nikki kicked out at two. Both went to the outside. AJ took out Brie. Paige came from behind and AJ thought it was Nikki, so AJ punched Paige. Back in the ring Nikki took out Paige with the Rack Attack for the win.

WINNER: Nikki Bella

After the match Paige and AJ fought.

Axelmania Meets Its Match

Snoop Dog came out. He was interrupted by Curtis Axel. He said Axelmania is a worldwide thing and currently running wild in Los Angeles. He said bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yeah, Axelmania is here to stay. Snoop said there is only one Mania that matters, and out came Hulk Hogan. Hulk asked Snoop what Axel was smoking. Axel ripped his shirt off and said whatcha gonna do! Axel went to punch Hogan but Hogan blocked it and punched him, then Snoop sent him out of the ring. Snoop and Hogan posed after.

Los Matadores and El Torrito beat Tyson Kidd, Cesaro and Natalya after Torrito pinned Natalya.

How Will Cena Overcome The Odds???

Rusev vs Jack Swagger. Rusev dominated early. Swagger tried fighting back but Rusev bounced right off the corner and hit a clothesline. Rusev landed some kicks then went to a headlock. Swagger fought out and caught Rusev with a boot. Rusev went for a kick but Swagger blocked it. He went for an ankle lock but Rusev escaped. Rusev tossed Swagger into the corner and hit a clothesline. Rusev connected on a superkick then applied the Accolade for the win.

WINNER: Rusev

Rusev wouldn’t release the hold after the match. John Cena came out and took out Rusev. They brawled to the outside where Rusev caught Cena with an elbow then tossed Cena into the barricade. Rusev rammed Cena into the barricade then tossed Cena over the announce table. Rusev went to leave but saw Cena getting back up. Rusev superkicked Cena. Rusev slammed Cena on the announce table then applied the Accolade. Multiple refs tried to get Rusev off before Rusev let go.

More Boogity Boo!

Bray Wyatt came out. He asked why people want to hide from the truth. He said reality can be a difficult thing to follow. He sad we all wake up every morning and we don’t like the person that is staring back at us. We can do whatever we want to hide it but it makes us all liars. But he is not a liar. His tongue is the sword of truth that we all try to hide ourselves from. And The Undertaker is a liar just like us. He wants his soul to be set free. But he has been sent to send Undertaker’s soul back to the other side. There was a lightning sound that started. Bray said he now controls everything and judges the guilty. This Sunday he will take his face among the gods as the new face of fear. Bray said this Sunday Undertaker can finally rest in peace.

Kevin Nash was announced as the final member of the Hall of Fame Class of 2015.

Everyone Hit A Big Move

Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler, with Dean Ambrose as the Special Ref via App vote. Both men did some quick takedowns then had a standoff. After the reset Ziggler landed some shots in the corner then an elbow. They went to the corner where Bryan forced a break. Ziggler slapped Bryan and both men exchanged blows. Ziggler went to toss Bryan to the outside but Bryan held on to the ropes then head scissored Ziggler over and hit his dive through the ropes. Ziggler moved out of the way of a knee off the apron then Ziggler clotheslined Bryan over the barricade.

Back from break Ziggler had a sleeper hold applied. Bryan escaped and hit a German suplex. Bryan went to the top but Ziggler crotched him on the ropes. Ziggler went for a superplex but Bryan blocked it. Bryan knocked him off but Ziggler jumped back up and hit a faceplant for two. Both men went for a backslide, Ziggler got it for two. Bryan came back with a kick to the head. Bryan landed more kicks to the chest then a dropkick in the corner. He went for a second but Ziggler caught Bryan with a superkick then a ZigZag for the win.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler

After the match, Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds on Ziggler. Ambrose grabbed a ladder and climbed it, going for the IC Title hanging above. All the men in the match ended up in the ring. They all fought and hit their signature moves. All seven men ended up on the ground.

That’s It???

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out. Heyman said he’s done everything to sell us on the match this Sunday. He said everyone that watches this Sunday will get his money’s worth if they are paying to see Brock Lesnar mangle and destroy Reigns. He said either Brock Lesnar is everything he says he is or Roman Reigns shows he is more than he is. He said people thought Lesnar wouldn’t end the Streak but he did, and people thought Lesnar couldn’t destroy John Cena but he did. He said Lesnar is a passionate competitor and he loves being WWE Champion just like he loves destroying anyone that tries to take the Title away from him. He said Lesnar is a conqueror who will take everything from him, including his family, and rename them Lesnar. Heyman said this Sunday, Roman Reigns “can’t, and won’t.”

Roman Reigns came out and him and Lesnar stared each other down. Lesnar held the belt up in front of Reigns. Reigns ripped the belt away from Lesnar and posed with it. Lesnar went to rip it away but Reigns held onto it. The show ended with both men fighting for possession of the belt.

OVERALL

I thought they were doing a decent job of building up most of the matches for this Sunday. They added a nice final layer to a lot of the stories and that was fine. Then the final segment with Lesnar and Reigns happened. What the hell was that? Your goal is to get people to care about the main event of Wrestlemania, and all we get is a struggle over the belt? No physicality? Not even a Superman punch? That was weak. Just a horrible build for what is suppose to be the main event of Wrestlemania. That didn’t make me want to see that match on Sunday at all. Everything else wasnt bad, so that helped the rest of the show. I’m giving it a 6.

Thank You everyone for reading my RAW Reviews over these 3 years.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/WWE-Raw-Logo-2012-500×250.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/23/wwe-monday-night-raw-live-results-for-32315-the-final-raw-before-wrestlemania/feed/ 0
CB’s Slant: Why The Raw after WrestleMania 31 Will Be More Important Than Mania Itself http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/21/cbs-slant-why-the-raw-after-wrestlemania-31-will-be-more-important-than-mania-itself/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/21/cbs-slant-why-the-raw-after-wrestlemania-31-will-be-more-important-than-mania-itself/#comments Sat, 21 Mar 2015 19:57:28 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5017179 We are just 1 week away from WWE WrestleMania 31 and for better or for worse, everything is now set. Here is a look at the final card that is planned for the Grand Daddy Of Them All:

–Sting will have his first ever WWE match against Triple H – speaking of Triple H, WATCH THIS NOW. It’s well worth the 25 minutes and will be better than just about anything that happens at WrestleMania.

Anyway, I digress…

–Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar for the Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship is sure to create controversy no matter the finish

–The Undertaker will appear for the first time in a full year when he takes on THE NEW FACE OF FEAR, Bray Wyatt

–Daniel Bryan will be in the Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match against a bunch of thieves and Bad News Barrett

–John Cena will be in the United States Championship Match against Rusev in a match straight out of the The Cold War Era

–Randy Orton and Seth Rollins finish this thing, though it looked like Orton already pretty much did that on Raw in Pittsburgh a couple of weeks ago

–Andre the Giant gets Memorialized one more time. Will #AXELMANIA run wild? Will The Miz finally get punched by Mizdow? Will Mark Henry make it to the ring without getting injured?

–The Bella Twins, Paige and AJ Lee #GiveDivasAChance, or at least a match on the card that will NOT be cancelled or shortened under any circumstances because if they do, PEOPLE WILL TWEET ANGRILY!!!! RIOT!!!!

–The tag teams wind up on the pre show with their Tag Titles Match when Tyson Kidd and Cesaro defend against NEW DAY, Los Matadores, and a half-injured team in The Usos.

While I feel like I’ve already said everything I need to say about the above lineup for WrestleMania 31 including the big title match between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns, one thing that I am still VERY fascinated by will be what happens on the post-WrestleMania episode of Monday Night Raw.

To me, the Raw after WrestleMania is going to be the true litmus test for WWE because you just never know what will happen in a closed arena filled with thousands of hardcore fans. And think about this for a second: if a smattering of fans in Iowa of all places were throwing “Daniel Bryan” chants at Roman Reigns last week on Raw, what do you think will happen if Roman Reigns enters the arena as WWE Champion on Raw? My guess is that it won’t be very pretty, and no matter what WWE thinks *might* happen, it will be much worse when it actually does happen right in front of their eyes.

It didn’t HAVE to be this way, and hey, it still might not be so bad for WWE. If Roman Reigns loses to Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania or if Seth Rollins cashes in, then the backlash won’t be as resonant because at least WWE finally acknowledged that Roman Reigns shouldn’t have been placed in the position he was in. A Reigns loss at WrestleMania (to either Lesnar or Rollins) will serve as validation to those hardcore fans that what happened at the Royal Rumble was a joke, and that WWE actually understands and acknowledges that.

But if Reigns wins at WrestleMania? Well, then get your popcorn ready, because the Raw after WrestleMania will make for one Hell of a show that is sure to set the course for the rest of the year in WWE, and could even make or break Roman Reigns career at the top of the card.

The Raw after WrestleMania 31 can change EVERYTHING in 3 hours, and I personally can’t wait to see it.

Believe That.

That’s all from me — CB.

http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/CBs-Slant-120-Logo.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/21/cbs-slant-why-the-raw-after-wrestlemania-31-will-be-more-important-than-mania-itself/feed/ 0
Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for March 19th 2015: I Sort Of Miss The Belt Theft http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/20/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-march-19th-2015-i-sort-of-miss-the-belt-theft/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/20/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-march-19th-2015-i-sort-of-miss-the-belt-theft/#comments Fri, 20 Mar 2015 15:23:35 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5016968 What’s up, wrestling fans? Today is a good day, because I finally finished my PhD research proposal, after running it through a spell-checker and removing some of the more visceral curse words. So, I’m facing tonight’s SmackDown in pretty optimistic frame of mind; I guess you could say that I’m pretty and optimistic.

So, everyone ready to come with me on this journey of getting smacked back down into cynicism and hatred, courtesy of Vince McMahon and some creatively bankrupt yes-men? Shit, let’s do it.

We get a strong start with a nice, revamped replay of Lesnar talking about how hurting people gives him wowsers in his trousers. To be fair, it seems logical on a really creepy level that a guy who practically gets off on destroying his fellow man is our world champion; if nothing else, you assume that he’d be willing to go that extra mile.

Hope you enjoyed that fleeting glimpse of the man who possesses the biggest belt in the company, because this is SmackDown, motherfuckers, and we don’t hold with exhibiting your fancy-schmancy main-eventers. Aaaand I’m proved wrong right off the bat as Roman and his ridiculous t-shirt make their entrance. Man, I’m buying that shirt to wear to at least one of my vivas if I get on this PhD course. I’m going to insist on entrance music as well.

Decent reception for Mr Reigns in Kansas City, but I guess they feel like they have to love Superman and all. Roman is about to say something, presumably one of his typical self-affirmations, and then Mark Henry interrupts, because fuck your self-confidence, Reigns. Unless Mark’s secretly a masochist and wants some more of that sweet, spear sugar. He says that he came out last week because he wanted to see what Roman could do in the ring, because Henry does not own a television, and doesn’t watch any WWE programming on his computer. We re-watch Roman Goldberg-ing Mark from last week, and Mark says that, officially, he knows that Reigns can beat Lesnar. Wow, that must mean just so much to Reigns, coming from a guy who’s never beaten Brock ever.

Seth shows up, because I truly believe him to be incapable of not interrupting the faces at this stage. Kane and Cruiserweight Security are there as well, and Kane rightfully calls Henry on his endorsement bullshit. Rollins then hoists the briefcase, letting us all know that there won’t actually be a cash-in at WrestleMania, because bluffing and reverse-psychology are about as sophisticated as the WWE gets in terms of narrative.

Rollins brags about us actually being semi-excited for his WrestleMania match, and tells us that Orton totally won’t be there tonight. And that’s totally not reverse-psychology either. But, in ten days, he’s going to kill the hell out of Randy and, as a tune-up, is going to team up with Kane in order to get beaten by Henry and Reigns. I mean, he doesn’t say it like that, but he knows. And we know. And he knows we know.

I’d Pay So Much Money If AJ/Paige Showed Up To WrestleMania Wearing The Women’s Title

Paige is in the ring, apparently without AJ. Hella nasty-looking head-to-ringpost smash from RAW this Monday, and apparently AJ’s on commentary. She says that caring about someone else’s well-being led to her losing the match, which is probably a decent moral to take from this story. Because the other one is ‘twins are bitches’. The Bellas show up, and it’s Brie fighting Paige whilst Nikki joins AJ and the guys on commentary.

Paige immediately drives Brie through the ropes to the outside, and dumps her the hell on the announce table. King makes a joke about getting in and separating them, and I’m thankful that the ladies then take it back into the ring. Brie comes off the second rope with a missile dropkick, and then applies a sleeper hold. Paige’s head is rocked off the turnbuckle, and then she takes a bulldog out of the corner from Brie, before the Bella applies the sleeper again.

AJ is talking about how she and Paige represent a different kind of Diva, and then uses the term ‘New Day'; you wash your fucking mouth out, AJ Lee. Paige manages to hit Brie with a kick to the face, and both women knock each other down with clotheslines. Another kick attempt from Paige is blocked by Brie, and she takes a running knee to the face, right before managing to roll Brie up for the quick win.

Over really quickly, which I’d expect from a match with a sleeper hold at about the 30th second. Still, a nice promise of the more hard-hitting style Paige and the others could bring to their match. Commentary re. the agendas of AJ and Nikki was actually pretty interesting. 2 Stars.

We replay the fact that the Authority is scared of Sting, who is fifty-six years old tomorrow. I just have to keep bringing that up; I’m sorry. I’m just not afraid of many fifty-plus year old men, and it baffles me that these giant, muscular dudes are.

Jamie and Joey check on the security people, who apparently have not been informed that Orton will murder them and their families in order to get three paces past them.

‘The Gauntlet’ Sounds Like An Ancient Test Of Manhood. Or A Sex Position.

It’s Gauntlet time, and it looks as though Dean Ambrose is out first, ready to wrestle…it’s Stardust. And, just to ask, what the hell happened with his feud with his brother? I mean, it seems like that whole thing just got derailed and they threw a seventh man in here.

Ambrose gains control of the arm to start, and then takes Stardust down with an elbow off the ropes. Chops to the chest before Stardust ducks out of the ring; Ambrose chases him back inside. He tries for a Pendulum Clothesline, but Stardust ducks it and hits his Disaster Kick instead. Stardust gets driven into a frenzy by the crowd chanting, you know, his real name, and drops Ambrose with a face-first suplex. Ambrose reverses a sunset flip pin attempt, Davey Boy style, getting the win, but Stardust snaps and beats the fuck out of him.

R-Truth arrives, and takes Stardust out, on the basis that he’s a crazy motherfucker. The match starts, but Stardust distracts R-Truth, allowing Dean to hit Dirty Deeds for another win.

Luke Harper’s the next competitor, and he makes his ominous way to the ring. When we come back from a quick ad-break, Ambrose runs the ropes and hits a crossbody, but Harper takes him right down with a jerk of the shoulder, taking advantage of the injured joint with an armbar take-down. A sleeper hold, focusing on the shoulder as well, is locked in, before Harper hurls Ambrose right into the middle turnbuckle, face-first. The big man with the big beard applies a crossface, and Dean reaches the ropes after about thirty seconds.

A low-bridge sends Harper to the outside, gaining Ambrose a reprieve, and he uses said-reprieve to hurl himself off the apron onto Harper. Back in the ring, Dean wants a tornado DDT from the second rope, but Harper throws him away, only for Ambrose to land on his feet. He ducks a clothesline and almost gets the pin with a roll-up before Ambrose walks right into a side-slam.

Harper locks the crossface in again, and it looks like Ambrose is in trouble before he starts biting Harper’s hand. He manages to gain the upper hand, dropkicking Harper against the ropes and almost getting another roll-up pin. He heads up to the top rope, leaps over a charging Harper, gets superkicked in the face but comes back to knock Harper the fuck down with the Pendulum Clothesline! Dirty Deeds is countered into a clothesline, with Harper getting the pin after a sit-out powerbomb.

Luke Harper has no chance to celebrate, as Bryan’s music hits and the guy who is officially settling the most in this match shows up. When the commercials are done, Bryan is wrapping Harper’s legs around the post, and then punishes the limbs with some kicks before applying a surfboard. Holy crap, he can lift Harper in that move? He even does the gnarly pulling-back-on-the-neck bit, which still makes me wince to this day.

Harper eats some more kicks, but then suddenly bulls up, bodily flinging Bryan over the top rope to the outside, getting a chance to recover. When Bryan comes back, Harper is right on the offensive, hitting a bodyslam and then a Gator Roll. He has Bryan in a headlock, and Bryan tries to fight out of it, only to eat a big uppercut and another vicious bodyslam.

Suddenly, Bryan gets a backslide for two, only to eat a big kick to the face. Harper is selling the hell out of what Bryan did to his legs; he’s literally acting like staying on his feet is a struggle. Knees to Bryan, who slides out of a third bodyslam and throws some kicks. Harper throws him out of the ring, but Bryan skins the cat, throws Harper out and dives out onto him!

Some more kicks on the menu for Harper when they get back into the ring, but he ducks the last one and throws Bryan, who lands right on his head. Harper takes Bryan down with his big clothesline, but that only gets a two. The big man wants a sit-out powerbomb, but Bryan goes over in a sunset flip, turning it into almost an ankle lock for the tap-out!

Ziggler’s the next man out, and let’s see what they’re not letting us have at WrestleMania. Both men tie up, with Bryan taking Ziggler over with a headlock. Another tie-up, and Ziggler gets the headlock takeover this time, with Bryan locking the legs around his head to break it. They go for the third time, and Ziggler backs Bryan into the corner before eating some kicks. Uppercut sends Dolph reeling, but then he fires up, laying some hands. Quick roll-up from Ziggler, and then he’s back on the attack with a neckbreaker.

Bryan ducks a stinger splash, hitting his running dropkick into the corner instead; he goes for his hurricanrana from the turnbuckle, but Dolph turns it into a sunset flip for a near-fall! Both guys are up and throwing hands, and then uppercuts, and feet, with Dolph sending Bryan into the corner for a headbutt. Bryan is sent into the corner, backflips out of it, and both men collide with dual crossbodies as we go to the break.

Back to the action, and Bryan is working the arm before Ziggler rolls out of a back suplex, hitting a dropkick to drop Bryan. Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb for a long two-count, and then Ziggler catches Bryan on the top rope, crotching him. He looks for a suplex, but Bryan ducks out and crotches Dolph. Back suplex from the top rope, but Dolph turns it into a crossbody half-way down! Bryan pops back up and kicks Ziggler upside the head for another long two!

Bryan wants a running knee, but he runs into a superkick for the nearest of near falls! Both men are down as the crowd starts their second ‘this is awesome’ chant of the night (credit to Bryan and Harper for the first). Dolph tries to lift Bryan, who was playing possum, and he locks in the Yes Lock, but Ziggler fights out, pinning Bryan, who bridges out of it; Bryan tries for a backslide and, after a hard struggle, gets it for a two-count. Bryan tries to kick Ziggler in the face, but Ziggler ducks, hits the Zig-Zag and pins Bryan clean!

Okay, major goodwill for how great that Gauntlet was in general (because it was pretty fucking great), for us getting to see Dolph vs. Bryan for longer than I thought and for Ziggler getting a clean win over Bryan. That speaks volumes to me, and hopefully was intended to: Ziggler could be the Shawn Michaels to Bryan’s Bret Hart, just without the bitchiness, prima donna antics and Montreal. These two should have gotten their WrestleMania match, and I hope they do one day. 4 Stars.

Oh, as a sidenote: fuck you, Vince, for saying that nobody’s willing to grab the brass ring, you out-of-touch pensioner.

Ziggler and Bryan shake hands, and then Barrett comes out, all brash and British. He’s got some bad news and looks like he’s about to deliver a Hannibal Lecture, but then suddenly Bull Hammers the fuck out of Ziggler. Bryan jumps to Ziggler’s defence, but he takes a microphone to the face, before Barrett Bull Hammers both guys again. Jesus, can he just be like this all the time, please?

Are they seriously making WrestleMania plus the pre-show six hours long? I don’t care if it’s a Sunday: who the fuck has that kind of time?

We get the Divas giving their thoughts on the Divas match, spliced with some footage of AJ, Paige and the Bellas. It’s pretty good, because it’s more build than most of the rest of WrestleMania has, and also makes it look like the match has some importance rather than being designated a ‘bathroom break’ match. And yeah, I’m still a little disappointed that it’s not a Fatal Four Way for the championship, even if you had Brie in there rather than somehow slotting Natalya in her place, but it should be pretty decent none the less. Plus, the WrestleMania theme is seriously catchy.

And apparently Alicia Fox got cured of her crazy. You know what, good for her.

Replay of Cena and Rusev, although they cut that goddamn incredible accent that Rusev’s lawyer brought in: I was laughing so hard at that whole segment.

This Is The Least Entertaining Of Every ‘Interspecies’ Performance I’ve Seen

Okay, Cesaro, Kidd and Nat are on their way to the ring, and the announcer just called it an ‘interspecies match’. Is it because ‘dickhead’ has its own classification in terms of species now? Yes, that was a joke about Tyson Kidd. Just to clarify: I’m sure he’s a lovely guy and a great husband in real life, but onscreen he’s a bastard’s bastard and shall be treated as such.

Jamie and Joey are still haranguing the security guys. Say what you like about those two clowns, but they take their jobs really seriously. Although, let’s face it, Orton’s already in the building. Orton is probably posing as one of the security guards that they’re talking to, wearing the guy’s face-skin over his own (yeah, I watched Silence of the Lambs again…)

We see another RAW replay, with Cesaro having to take a headscissors from a little person in a costume. I mean, he’s one half of the tag team champions, but yeah, why the fuck not? I’d also take Los Matadores more seriously if they weren’t Los Matadores. I accept that that is not the most useful advice, WWE, but that’s just how I feel.

Cesaro applies a headlock to Matador 1, getting shot off the ropes and hitting a shoulder tackle. He runs the ropes again, getting a hurricanrana this time. And can he lose the blue shorts? I don’t mean in a nudity way; I just meant go back to black. Cesaro holds his hand out for a tag, and Nattie tags in, which Cesaro wasn’t expecting. Aw, he’s so used to tagging in Kidd.

Natalya gets in the ring, and she’s facing El Torito. Um…what the fuck? They’re making the woman fight the little person? I’m not sure who that’s more offensive to, so double fucking prize to the WWE for managing to create that sort of ambiguous dickishness. Jesus, Vince.

Tyson Kidd tags himself in, and good, Tyson: nobody wanted to see that. That means that one of the regular-sized Matadors comes in, ducks a clothesline, and then drop toe-holds Kidd on the ropes, diving through them and tagging in Matador 2. Kidd drops Matador 2 on the ropes and chokes him, before Cesaro smacks a kick to the guy’s head and then comes in to throw him out of the ring. Kidd gets the tag, but gets caught on the apron and dropped onto it face-first.

Okay, King’s weirdest remark of the night bears some repeating, unfortunately: ‘all men are pigs, but thank goodness women love bacon’. No comment.

Matadors are still in control as I’m struggling to understand King’s stupid, stupid mind. The bull hurricanranas Cesaro into Kidd, and then Los Matadores dropkick them out of the ring before diving on them, but Nat got the tag before this happened. I’ll admit, I sort of phased out a little here, because there’s only so much dumb shit that I can process.

Natalya comes in, applying the torture rack to that fucking bull, but Torito turns it into an armdrag. He goes for a hurricanrana off the top rope, but Natalya turns it into a sit-out powerbomb for the win!

This was really dumb. I mean, like, so dumb. And I hate Los Matadores and El Torito, not because they can’t wrestle (which they can) but because they have a gimmick which actively makes me angry. And hell, I’m glad Natalya got the win, although this probably means that Tyson thinks that his mascot is better than Los Matadores’ mascot. 1.5 Stars.

Not Like I’m Going To Gloat About Calling This Or Anything

We finally snap back to some seriousness as Roman makes his way to the ring, and then Henry’s music hits, but there’s no Henry. Oh man, was Henry playing the long con (for, what, like two weeks)? Ah, no, wait, he’s been laid out backstage. The Prime Time Players are right there, which seems really suspicious, but nobody even questions them. Seth and Kane show up then, accompanied by Cruiserweight Security and Actual Security. I’m looking for the one with the notable facial scars, but their backs are turned.

Bell ring-a-ding-dings and we’re off with this now-handicap match. Kane and Reigns circle each other, until Rollins keeps trying to get in the match; with the refereee distracted, Cruiserweight Security distract Reigns himself so that Kane can smack him with a boot. Rollins comes in, starting to work Reigns over, hitting a neckbreaker and choking the guy on the ropes. Tag to Kane, who throws Rollins at Reigns to hit a stinger splash, then hits a sidewalk slam to Roman.

Kane charges at Reigns, running into a boot, but he cuts off Reigns’ flurry with a tornado DDT. Rollins tags in, attacking Reigns on the apron before bringing it back into the ring, throwing Reigns face-first into the turnbuckle. Kane’s legal now, laying some elbows to a downed Roman. Rollins tags in, and tries for a splash, but gets elevated over the top; that gives Reigns enough time to deal with Kane before clotheslining Rollins in the corner, again and again. Rollins ducks a final clothesline; Roman ducks a kick; Rollins ducks again buts caught with a tilt-a-whirl slam.

Mercury gets up on the apron and eats a Superman Punch; Rollins ducks one coming for him; the two men counter each other furiously before Roman fells Seth with a blow to the back of his neck. Noble’s knocked off the apron as well, but the opportunity is open for Seth to hang Reigns up on the apron. Rollins heads up to the top, but leaps right into a Superman Punch, in mid-air! Kane has made the tag, however, and moves to chokeslam Reigns, but Roman leaps away and hits a spear for the win!

This would have been a good moment to really display some other-worldly viciousness from Reigns, after the kind of touting that Brock’s been getting. This is still looking a lot like the plucky everyman going out to slay the monster, which I don’t think is the best way to play this. But whatever: it’s too late now. 2 Stars.

Reigns shoves through the security guys on his way out, like a badass, and leaves without issue.

And then Orton’s music hits, and Randy jumps Seth from behind. Not like I told you so or anything. The security people try to ineffectually stop Orton one at a time, but he goes the hell through them like a knife through…security people. He stalks Rollins for an RKO, but Noble interferes, and takes it instead. Seth still almost eats an RKO. but shoves himself away; Mercury dives off the top rope and Orton catches him for another RKO! Rollins backs the hell off as Orton celebrates his psychotic dominance over all and sundry.

Man, if only Roman had done something exactly like that.

Pretty good show tonight. Los Matadores are still the thorn in my side for, God, a lot of reasons, but the rest of it kept things interesting. The Gauntlet Match, naturally, takes the match of the night, and due to it taking up most of the show, that made for a better overall view of the night. I guess, at this stage, I’m resigned to just not getting in that psyched state of mind for the Show of Shows, which sucks, because that’s traditionally a big part of it. Some matches, however, should be of a good level. Tonight gets an eight.

David’s Movie Recommendation: On a horror movie kick once again, and tonight’s recommendation goes to Rosemary’s Baby. I don’t exactly know what it is about this film which freaks me out so much, but goddamn, the ending just gives me the chills. Maybe it’s also because it was directed by, you know, Roman Polanski, but that’s more or less context.
http://media.insidepulse.com/zones/wrestling/uploads/2013/09/Pulse-Logo-Thumbnail.png

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/20/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-march-19th-2015-i-sort-of-miss-the-belt-theft/feed/ 0
The Classy Ring Attire Podcast #161: “The Struggle for Enthusiasm” http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-161-the-struggle-for-enthusiasm/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-161-the-struggle-for-enthusiasm/#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2015 20:11:56 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5016647 Wow, just like last week (and the week before that) this week’s topic is focusing on trying to find something about WrestleMania that we should be getting excited for.

(Recorded on the week of March 8th)

Want more Classy Ring Attire? Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook and subscribe to us on iTunes and maybe even drop a nice review to make up for the jerkhole that gave us a 1 star rating…not like that sort of thing would ever bother us or anything.
http://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/craicon2014.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/the-classy-ring-attire-podcast-161-the-struggle-for-enthusiasm/feed/ 0 Wow, just like last week (and the week before that) this week's topic is focusing on trying to find something about WrestleMania that we should be getting excited for. - (Recorded on the week of March 8th) - Want more Classy Ring Attire? Wow, just like last week (and the week before that) this week's topic is focusing on trying to find something about WrestleMania that we should be getting excited for. (Recorded on the week of March 8th) Want more Classy Ring Attire? Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook and subscribe to us on iTunes and maybe even drop a nice review to make up for the jerkhole that gave us a 1 star rating...not like that sort of thing would ever bother us or anything. Inside Pulse no 1:04:51
Watch Sting Appear on WWE Monday Night Raw To Save Randy Orton vs. The Authority [Video] http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/watch-sting-appear-on-wwe-monday-night-raw-to-save-randy-orton-vs-the-authority-video/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/watch-sting-appear-on-wwe-monday-night-raw-to-save-randy-orton-vs-the-authority-video/#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:00:13 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5016591

http://media.insidepulse.com/zones/wrestling/uploads/2012/03/Randy-Orton-120×120.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/17/watch-sting-appear-on-wwe-monday-night-raw-to-save-randy-orton-vs-the-authority-video/feed/ 0
Max Landis Debuts Short Film on Triple H http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/16/max-landis-debuts-short-film-on-triple-h/ http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/16/max-landis-debuts-short-film-on-triple-h/#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2015 01:12:23 +0000 http://insidepulse.com/?p=5016531 Screenwriter Max Landis (@uptomyknees) just debuted a short film titled “Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling” that seems to take a look at Triple H over 19 years that both goes in and out of kayfabe, but in a sense to describe the appeal of pro wrestling in general.  There’s also cameos galore, from the Mythbusters guys, Macauley Culkin, Seth Green, DC Pierson and wrestlers like Chris Hero, Colt Cabana, Johnny Mundo (John Morrison) and featuring Chloe Dykstra as Triple H.  It’s worth a look.

 

http://media.insidepulse.com/zones/wrestling/uploads/2012/03/CM-Punk-120×120.jpg

]]>
http://insidepulse.com/2015/03/16/max-landis-debuts-short-film-on-triple-h/feed/ 0