Cheap Heat 3.21.01: Tom's Raw Experience


Well, I've definitely had an interesting couple of days.

My Raw experience started out Sunday night at 11:30. I was sitting in Denny's when Test and Val Venis came in to have breakfast. Val is a popular boy. He got four calls on his cell phone while they were eating. They came in after us, got served first, and left before us. Must be some perks to being famous, even though I'm thoroughly convinced only I, and one little kid in there, had any idea who they were. I really wanted to go up and get an autograph, but I decided not to bother them while they were eating. I brought a "Test and Val eat at Denny's" sign to Raw, but neither of them looked over in my corner. I can understand why celebrities get a little angry when people do that, but they should know it comes with the territory. I really should have asked one of them for an interview, to shoot my stock with 411 WAY the hell up, but I don't have that nose for news yet… and y'all would probably think I was making it up regardless. I wonder if I can connive a press pass out of the Pepsi Arena the next time Raw comes around… hmmmmmm.

Anyway, we ended up getting to the event at about 2 in the afternoon. We decided to go really early for once. Apparently, hanging out behind the arena and watching the wrestlers arrive is a popular thing to do… I was not aware. But, we did see Crash and Stevie arrive together before we realized we didn't have any beer and, therefore, were having no fun. We managed to get yelled at by the security guard at the parking garage, because we were sitting in the wrong place. A bunch of people were sitting on a guardrail, not doing anything wrong, and Mr. BigBad Security Man came over and made them move 10 feet down, onto arena property. I hate security guards… no offense to any of y'all out there who aren't bastards, like the ones we were talking to in the Pepsi last night, but I just can't stand a good portion of them. That goes for bouncers, too. We walked back around the front of the building and saw Chyna arrive in a cab. Poor girl, you think she made a couple extra pesos off the Playboy thing to ride in a little better style.

The event itself was pretty decent. We got in right when the doors opened. My seat was on the floor to the right of the TitanTron, second to last row. As is my normal luck at a wrestling event, we got sandwiched between a whole bunch of Rock Fans who don't know a wristlock from a DDT and who chanted boring during the Rios/Low-ki Jakked/Metal match. My friend, always one for good soundbites, said: "They're wrestling, not drinking beer, obviously boring." But, a couple of folks around us managed to get a "Rocky Sucks", a "Die Rocky Die", and a "I Bought Stephanie Implants" sign taken away. I guess Stephy can't handle the bad signs like her daddy can.

Toward the end of the tapings, we noticed that two aisle seats one row back were empty. We asked the security guard, a really cool guy by the way, if we could sit there, promising to leave the instant someone came. He said OK. I just wanted to sit there because both of the families we were sandwiched between were annoying the hell out of me. The one lady asked us to make signs for her, to which I said no. So, she asked the other people next to us. The guy on the came up with the incredibly clever "Austin 3:16 says I just kicked your ass," and "Right To C-it Naked." My friend and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. My only signs were's Tom Daniels, Test and Val Eat at Denny's, Save WCW, and Your Music Sucks.

I was vindicated when I made the "Test and Val" sign. The folks next to me asked what I meant, and I told them the Denny's story. They proceeded to tell me how they wouldn't care if they were in the middle of a meal, they'd go up and start talking to them. I was then even happier I didn't go up to them. I mean, I've never been as fascinated with celebrities as some folks. They're just people who happen to be on television and make a lot of money.

Of course, if it had been Triple H at Denny's, I probably would have went over and started fawning like a school girl.

Anyway, the event started. The pyro is frigging LOUD when you're less than ten feet from it. I also came to the conclusion that floor seating sucks if you're toward the back. We had a great view of the ramp and the stage, but the ring view was horrible. Not to mention, the IDIOTS who think their sign is magically going to get on television when there isn't even a camera on them. Or, when they're holding up a "Vince Fears Shane" sign during a match between Test and Triple H. There was this one jackass in front of me who kept holding up the stupidest neon green sign ever… and he was doing it every match. I had a roll of quarters, but I was afraid my aim would be off.

I was VERY excited by the appearance of Spike Dudley and Rhino. I'm pretty sure I was the first person in the arena to notice Spike as he came out… and I started jumping around and screaming, until everyone around me caught on. The ones who knew joined in on an ECW chant.

Thing I liked the least: Tazz's first match in months cut short by Jackass Rock.

It only takes one trip to a wrestling event to realize how the public opinion of wrestling fans was formed. This is why we used to watch the shows from in closets years ago. The stereotype is pretty well earned. From the jerk next to me who kept yelling at little kids to get off their chairs or he was going to hit them… yes, a grown man, yelling at two 10 year olds who were trying to get pictures, to Neon Green Signguy who I personally wanted to shoot in the head, to the forty-year-old lady with the beer gut, love handles, and belly shirt **shudder**. Most wrestling fans are a frightening breed.

But, I will say, hanging out in the area before the event was some fun. Not only that, but the good parking spot made it incredibly easy to get the hell out of there at the end of the show. Got home just in time for the Nitro replay, which was pretty darn good in and of itself.

And, does anyone out there know why Vince doesn't syndicate old Raws and PrimeTimes and rerun them on one of Viacom's stations? I would think they could bang a decent rating. I think there's at least a quarter of Raw's audience who would like to watch some of the old stuff.

Sorry about the biography type column for the week, but between the top ten best and worst WrestleMania Moments Widro will start running soon, and taking a few days off from the computer, this was the best I could throw together. Right now, for next week, I have visions of a big column with my own personal top ten heels of all time. Feel free to mail me any suggestions…

For now, I'm off to learn all about CGI scripting.