411’s Heat Report 7.1.01

Hello, for those of you who don’t read the column I write which is probably most of you, actually I’m Tom Daniels and I write Cheap Heat here at 411. I’m going to be trying out writing the Heat report on non-PPV weeks for a bit and see how it goes. Hopefully, my schedule will permit me to be here enough to keep the job. Now that we’ve been formally introduced, on with the show:

Watched the end of Tough Enough. Daryll bows out first Jason or Greg make it on the guys side. Paulina makes it on the girl’s side. Those are my early predictions.

WWF Heat – WWFE 2001

Starts with the APA in the back in that little green room thing. Instead of fruit platters, we get cards and cigars. The APA run down WCW and how lame it was. Get a shot in at Ed Ferrara (Oklahoma) and say how glad they are he’s out of a job.

Opening sequence, hosts are Tazz and Michael Cole.

Tazz is in a bad mood. Michael talks up the WCW Invasion.

Justin Credible vs K-Kwik.

K-Kwik raps on his way out, making me wish I wasn’t recapping so I could turn the channel. Tazz calls it crap I can’t disagree. Justin comes out to his own music instead of X-Factor music. The former ECW World Champion is the only member of X-Factor without a belt. Credible takes down K-Kwik first Kwik recovers and Justin runs to the ropes. Cole and Tazz are talking about how WCW stole all WWF big stars in the nineties. Kwik dives over the top rope Undertaker-style, and it’s completely ignored by the announcers. Cole uses “charismatic” to describe K-Kwik for the third time in 2 minutes. Justin takes back over tries three successive pinfalls because when the first one doesn’t work, the second or third one ALWAYS does. Justin into a rest hold (the hell? The match has been going on for like three minutes, tops) Kwik comes back and elbows his way out. Credible gets draped on the ropes and K-Kwik goes for the nuts. Kwik dances and punches Justin in the grill. Kwik hits an axe kick ((who’s he think he is, Booker T?)). Kwik tries to get cute with a backflip, and Justin hits X Marks the Spot for the pinfall.

In case you hadn’t heard there’s going to be WCW vs WCW matches on Raw tomorrow.

Commercials

Exterior shot of WWFNY and the traffic downstate. The APA will be coming out.

Flashback stuff. Awesome powerbombing Rhyno through the ladder and winning the Hardcore Title. Vince’s reaction to said title victory. Booker T and Shane invading WWFNY. Austin and Vince conspiring.. the APA convincing the WWF locker room (which includes Meng and Dean Malenko, btw) that WCW doesn’t belong there. Booker attacks Vince and bails when the locker room comes out for the save.

Back to WWF NY, the APA makes their grand entrance to the stage.

Cole wants to know what they think of WCW. Bradshaw calls them a bunch of pampered-ass millionaires who are trying to piggy-back the WWF’s success. Farooq says there’s going to be a bunch of nice stuff up for auction down in Atlanta. Cole calls Farooq on being a former member of WCW. Farooq blows him off. Tazz wants to know why the APA took charge against WCW. Bradshaw answers that it’s like someone breaking into his house in Texas. The WWF is their house. Cole says what they think of WCW matches being held in the Tacoma Dome. Farooq says he doubts the matches will take place. Bradshaw says they’ve built a global brand name in the WWF, and the WCW will not be riding their success. ((Meaning, any matches with WCW vs WCW will not end in anything more than an attack from the WWF locker room)). Bradshaw says find out who’s toughest by coming and knocking on the door like a man, not sneaking in like sissies. Cole wants to know if they would take job offers from Shane McMahon. Bradshaw says he’s turned them down before and would turn them down again. Farooq says no way is he going back, because the WWF is the house they built. Apparently, both Farooq and Bradshaw are channeling Hollywood Hogan.

Commercials Damn, Scott Weiland looks like a freak now. Drugs definitely did NOT help STP.

WWF Rewind is Shane getting tossed into and off of the King of the Ring set.

Tazz and Cole talk about injuries from KOR. Nancy “Woman” Sullivan makes her debut appearance on WWF television. Benoit has bone spurs in his neck and they have to take the disc out of his neck, take the crap off, and then replace the disc with a piece of bone from his belvic area. He’ll be in a hard neck brace for awhile, and then after six months he might be able to start rehabbing.

Hardcore Holly vs Test

Lockup Test into the corner. No clean break by Holly. Cole mentions that, though Test is a friend of Shane McMahon, he was right there when the WWF was casting out WCW. Test takes over and kicks Holly in the corner. To the ropes and into a spinning sidewalk slam. Two Count. Holly tries to hot shot Test across the top rope and comes about 4 inches short. Instead, Test’s face smacks into the mat. Holly gives him a second to recover, then goes back to work. Trading punches, Holly into the corner and test with a clothesline. Holly staggers out, into a gut-wrench powerbomb. Holly up, Test goes for the Problem Solver and Holly gets out of it hits Test with a dropkick. Holly pushes Test over the top rope. Holly comes out and Test whips him against the wall. Holly has the ringbell. Test ducks it, takes it, and then hits Holly with it. Jim Korderas calls for the bell but, duh, it’s in the ring. Holly wins by DQ.

To the back, Bradshaw is talking about WCW guys being in the WWF locker room tomorrow. Farooq wants to know how they got in MSG. Bradshaw thinks the right question is who let them in? The plot thickens.

Commercials

Some WWF NY peon asks some random New Yorkers what they use for protection. He doesn’t specify what kind of protection he means. Hilarity ensues.

Tazz and Cole talk about Tough Enough. We watch them bump and work out. We see a tender moment between Victoria and Stephanie. We watch the mud-wrestling and then the following mud-jogging. We get to watch Tazz run down Darryl. Tazz says it’s his sensitive side.

Upcoming: Raven and Rhino.

Commercials. You know, now I know why I stopped watching Heat. Because it’s on MTV and even the commercials on MTV nowadays make me physically ill.

Boot of the Week: The Tazz/Austin confrontation on Smackdown where Tazz got himself beat down.

Tazz says that he has to host Raw at WWF NY tomorrow, but he’d planned on meeting up with Austin at the Tacoma Dome. He says it isn’t over. Tazz/Austin feud that could be fun.

Raven vs Rhyno

They show Rhyno getting powerbombed on the ladder. Cole says Awesome is the first WCW guy to step into MSG in 50 years. Tazz doesn’t mention the fact he beat Awesome in about 1 minute and, in fact, calls him a stud. In the ring, Rhyno beats Raven up a bit and goes for the Gore, but misses. Raven goes for the Raven Effect, and he misses too. Raven gets Gored in the corner, which doesn’t have the effect of getting Gored in the center of the ring. Back to the outside, Rhyno beats up Raven by banging his head into stuff. Into the ring, Rhyno is still beating the crap out of Raven. Awkward moment as Rhyno waits for a double leg takedown that takes a second to come. Raven takes over and whips Rhyno into the corner. Rhyno comes out and eats clothesline. Rhyno whips Raven into the corner and sets for the Gore, but Raven sidesteps then misses the Raven effect, but hits a bulldog. 2 count. Raven gets up, Rhyno pokes him in the eye, and hits a short Gore for the pin.

Flashback: The APA talking about beating up the WCW guys. And then beating the bejesus out of Palumbo and O’Haire. Angle talks about Austin and Booker T. Austin comes out and talks about Booker. Does anyone else thing this invasion would have been better run if we built this feud up for a year or so, and then let the two champs come to blows at Wrestlemania 2002? You know the biggest PPV of the year and whatnot? Just me, I guess.

Backstage, Farooq and Bradshaw don’t think everyone understands where they’re coming from. They’re going to come out and speak slow so even the WCW guys can understand.

Commercials

Cole and Tazz say that tomorrow’s Raw is the one to see if you don’t see another one all year. What they don’t realize is: no one just “tunes in” for Heat. If they’re watching Heat, they’re already going to be watching Raw.

The APA comes back out. Bradshaw tells WCW to stop sneaking from behind and be men about it. Just then, someone sneaks up from behind and takes them both out. It’s Palumbo and O’Haire with their WCW tag titles. They beat the two up and then high-tail it out of the building and down the street. And that’s it.

Not a bad show all together. One match that wasn’t disjointed, but it still had Justin Credible in it. The attack at the end was a nice touch, too.

I’ll be back tomorrow doing the Raw report for a vacationing PK.

End Transmission.