411’s WWF Heat Report 7.8.01

Well, my first choice of the winner of Tough Enough left after the first show. Does that mean Darryl will win? I certainly hope not.

Also, no Cheap Heat last week because I figured two doses of me were plenty for a week. I’ll get one this week. It’s half done.

WWF Heat 7/8/2001 – WWFE 2001

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A limo pulls up to the front of WWF NY. Some really dirty music is playing inside. X-Factor gets out. They’re our guests tonight.

Opening

Live shots inside. Michael Cole tells us there’s a WCW Tag Title match on Heat tonight, so it’s a history making night. Straight into:

Tajiri vs Jerry Lynn

I wasn’t paying attention. Tajiri didn’t come out to Regal’s music, but it wasn’t that awful stuff he used last week was it any good? Jerry Lynn comes out to Death Metal surprise.

Lock up into a roll over by Lynn back up into a headlock by Tajiri. Tajiri with a shoulder block. Lynn gets sent to the ropes and goes for a leap-frog, but gets drop kicked in the gut instead. Why don’t more people do that? Tajiri with a VICIOUS kick to the head. Lynn sells it for like, 5 seconds then takes control. Tajiri outside the ring, but rolls back in rather than doing a Tarantula. Jerry Lynn with a Dory Special he drops Tajiri, who gets back up and hands out two more Buzzsaw kicks. Lynn catches him with a German Suplex and kicks Tajiri while he’s down. Shane and DDP are having a Street Fight on Monday. Lynn in control with a Tilt-a-Whirl back breaker. Crowd surprisingly loud for Tajiri. Lynn with a headlock. Tajiri fights out backflips out of a German suplex. Buzzsaw kick number four. Tajiri with the backflip elbow off the ropes, gets two. Lynn off the ropes, Tajiri with a kick to the gut Lynn on his knees Tajiri finishes with the kick to the grill.

Back to Tazz and Cole, talking about the WCW tag titles. Palumbo and O’Haire vs Kanyon and Stasiak.

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Kidman does Shooting Star Presses a lot easier in WWF rings. The KidCrusher isn’t his finisher anymore, I guess because it’s the same as the Unprettier.

Backstage, Albert and X-Pac compare gold and X-Pac says the WCW title sucks. Well, we already knew he didn’t have any taste.

Tazz and Cole talk about how Credible doesn’t have a belt. They also talk about Jason, who decided 250 days away from home per year wasn’t for him. They do a recap for the show. You can read Birdwell’s recap for the whole show ((assuming he puts one up)) to get the low-down. Basically, Triple H told them it takes a helluva lot of dedication, and Jason realized he didn’t want it. It’s too much for him. Al Snow takes away his chair. He says “I chased my dream and when I caught it, I realized it was just a dream”

Then, Tazz talks the kid down, which is completely unnecessary. The kid was honest about it there’s no reason, now, to treat him like a piece of shit. Oh well, if it makes him feel better.

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You know, I was watching my tape of the Soprano’s second season today and at one point, Pussy’s son says to AJ “you still listen to rap? Why? It’s only about marketing now.” Watch MTV for a couple hours and try to say it isn’t true. And how the HELL can Now 7 be out already?? Didn’t Now 6 JUST come out like, two months ago?? Eh back to the show.

Last week on Raw. Lita beat Trish. Big Show got mad. And Jeff Hardy saved Trish.

Back to Cole and Tazz, they talk about how Lita doesn’t like Trish because she planted one on Matt.

K-Kwik vs Rhyno

K-Kwik raps on the way to the ring and wants to “move some things.” I’d like someone to move a baseball bat, really quick, toward his mouth. Tazz says he’s a rap fan and even HE thinks Kwik sucks. Regardless, Kwik is going to get mauled by Rhyno.

If you didn’t know two weeks ago on Raw, Mike Awesome powerbombed Rhyno through a ladder and won the Hardcore Title and hasn’t been seen since, even though he’s a WWF champion. Um why? Shouldn’t he be getting the MOST exposure?? In the ring, Rhyno gets Hurricanranaed from Kwick but no-sells. Kwik gets a two count on a crossbody. Tazz and Cole wonder who the Mole is. Didn’t CBS already have this show?

Match outside. Tazz points out Cole rhymes with Mole. Back into the ring, Rhyno kicks Kwik. It’s not a Bat, but it’s close. Rhyno stomps a mudhole in Kwik and gives him a vertical suplex, which gets two. Rhyno into a rest hold, then a knee to the back. Then to the top rope. Diving head butt misses. Kwik takes over with a kick to the face. Both guys down. Both get up at the same time. Both exchanging chops until Kwik uses his noggin and ducks one. Dances and flattens Rhyno. Back up, Rhyno gets a FlatLiner. Rhyno kicks out at two. Kwik charges into the corner, buries Rhyno, backflips, and gets Gored. Didn’t they use that EXACT same finish last week?

Backstage, X-Factor is reading the Wrestlemania book. Pac and Albert make fun of Justin for not having any gold. X-Pac gives Justin an imitation WWF title. Justin laughs to Pac’s face, but gives him dirty looks from behind.

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By the way, I checked last week’s Heat report. I quote me: ”Kwik tries to get cute with a backflip, and Justin hits X Marks the Spot for the pinfall.” So there I was right.

Back to the show Heat has some Sponsors.

Last week on Raw: Vince McMahon did some dirty things with Torrie Wilson. Austin and Angle interrupted. Then Linda caught them. Read the Raw Report for all the sordid details.

Then, last week on Smackdown Vince felt really bad about getting subpoenaed. Luckily, the date just happens to fall on a Monday after a PPV.

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire vs Kanyon and Meat – for the WCW World Tag Team Title

Anderson and Hudson are commentating. Perfect-Shawn now actually uses Mr. Perfect’s music, rather than a cheap rip-off of it. Palumbo and O’Haire’s just sounds like a cheap, canned WCW theme. Billy Silverman is our ref. What’s with the colored lights over the crowd in WCW matches??

Kanyon and Palumbo start off. Kanyon is the first on the mat with a powerslam by Palumbo that gets two. According to Arn, “Palumbo and O’haire have been a team for a long time.” What happened to that Jindrak guy? Forget him??

Meat is tagged in. Starts taking it to Palumbo. Gets the O’Haire line. Nifty little move where O’Haire holds them against the ropes and Palumbo leap frogs on top. Palumbo gets Meat into the corner but Kanyon comes out and gives him a Russian leg sweep from the second rope.

Shawn is in charge with whips and clothesline and then a sort of gutwrench powerbomb. Palumbo to a bad corner tag to Kanyon. Kanyon uses an inverted Rock bottom which will probably be his new finisher. This match is too fast to follow, honestly while typing. Tag to Meat who uses an inverted DDT for a two count. O’Haire breaks it up. Tag to Kanyon, who gets a backdrop. Palumbo trying to get to the corner. Hot tag to O’Haire, who takes it to both guys with O’Haire lines and NICE spinning heel kicks to both guys. O’Haire holds Kanyon near the corner Palumbo dropkicks him into the turnbuckle. Stasiak tries to come back in, and gets a Jungle Kick. O’Haire does a fireman’s carry into a Rock Bottom. Cool stuff. This was the best WCW match thus far. Probably should have been the main event rather than an interview with Dirty X-Factor.

X-Pac talks about stuff he did back when he was tolerable, when DX invaded CNN towers.

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The knee jerk reaction to turn the channel when Uncle Kracker starts playing almost wins out, but I choose not to.

Tazz says he knows X-Factor wants to get out on the town. Tazz says their music is “phat” and where they got it. X-Factor is apparently boys with UK. Tazz using the word phat was almost enough to knock me out of my chair.

X-Pac sucks chant in WWF NY. HA!!

X-Pac says “whatever” and that he’s been at the top of the industry for a long time ((which industry?)).

Tazz asks Albert what it’s like to have serious gold. Albert, trying not to wet himself, probably, says that he’s the biggest, meanest machine in the WWF. He says he’ll take all comers.

What are X-Factor’s thoughts about WCW? Albert says they’re already stepping on toes. X-Pac says big deal that they’re a new company, but the WWF is their place. Justin starts talking and X-Pac interrupts him. Justin gives him a look. X-Pac runs down Billy Kidman and says he’s the best Light Heavyweight champion ever. He then says he doesn’t make challenges and then challenges Kidman at Invasion. Justin doesn’t look happy. The break-up of X-Factor seems to be underway, too.

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Tazz and Cole pimp some sponsors. And, if you hadn’t heard DDP and Shane O Mac have a street fight on Raw.

We get a history package on the inVasion PPV. Most everything they show happened last Monday on Raw. We then move into Smackdown, where Kidman won the WCW Cruiserweight Title. Some stuff happened all of which you can read about in the Smackdown Recap.

Back to Cole and Tazz apparently, Shane suffered a separated shoulder when DDP kicked his ass. They tell you not to forget Raw is on Tomorrow.

And we’re done.

Pretty reasonable show, overall. The WCW Title match was worth watching, with all four guys trying to do something memorable. Well, memorable for a hardly watched show. A WCW match of that calibur needs to be on Raw or Smackdown, not Heat to show the general audience that these WCW boys can do something other than get booed and turned on by people in the Tacoma Dome. But, if WCW is in Atlanta tomorrow they could have a chance.

Cheap Heat on Tuesday or Wednesday. Rankings later tonight.

End Transmission