411 Weekend News Report 8.18.01

Hello and welcome to the weekend news. I’m going to cover it before taking off for eight straight hours of MTV’s “The State,” the funniest show ever on television. We got a 12-pack each, every State episode ever recorded, and a jonesing to play some Beer Pong. So let’s roll.


Smackdown: scored a 4.3 overnight rating which is up 0.1 from last weeks rating. After the “Lights Out” match, expect ratings to plummet next week.

Tough Enough: scored a 1.8. Paulina leaves and the ratings plummet. Coincidence? I think not.

UPW, Dusty Rhodes’s wrestling federation, has now got a television deal. Well, it’s a deal if you consider being carried on one independent network out of Anaheim, CA a deal. Regardless, if you live around there or have a satellite and would like to check them out, they’ll be starting television shows on 9/15.

MECW has apparently signed Todd Gordon, Joey Styles, and Cyrus. Cyrus and Styles will be full time, in-ring competitors, forming a tag-team called “Blackballs” to represent their chances of getting a job with the WWF in the future. Or, they’ll be the full time announcers. Choose whichever appeals to you. Todd Gordon will be handling the business end of things considering the great things he did to get ECW off the ground, that could be a boon for the federation.


WWF Injuries:

  • Kane: MRI on Tuesday for a lower-back problem that may be a bulging disc. He’s attempting to work through it.
  • Booker T: Physical Therapy for a knee/calf problem. Not limited for Summer Slam.
  • Trish Stratus: Has started the rehab for her ankle injury. She’s still on crutches and will be out for a few more weeks. When she returns, look for her to stop wrestling in 6 inch high heels. Wouldn’t this automatically seem like a good idea? Never understand Yaks.
  • Triple H: still on target to return in November
  • Jerry Lynn: Out for three months with a torn patella tendon. Luckily, only the six people who watch Jakked will notice.
  • Rikishi: Met with Dr Jim Andrews this week. Still out for two months.
  • Chris Benoit: Rehab continues for a 2002 return.
  • Kidman: Still rehabbing the knee, out for a few more weeks

For all the fans of the HWA (Heartland Wrestling Association), it will also soon be on television. HWA is one of the WWF developmental territories with such coaches as Dean Malenko, the Big Boss Man, and Dave Taylor. For all of you who were missing your Bossman fix, wait no longer.

Raven, Stevie Richards, and Mike Sanders are all trying out to be color commentators in Stamford, CT. Sanders seems like a waste of talent to stick behind the announce table, but whatever.

The Ross Report.

All you folks who get your PPV’s through DirectTV will have to rely on Widro’s PPV recaps after Summer Slam. WWF spokesman Jason Bernstein said the WWF discontinued negotiations to renew their contract with DirectTV, which reaches 15% of the WWF’s PPV audience. DirectTV is looking to resolve an outstanding issue from the last deal in which DirectTV is looking to recover cash they paid to the WWF. The WWF said they would not continue negotiations until DirectTV drops the claim.

Too many wrestlers ordering too many pornos on the road and not paying for them. Now, 15% of the WWF’s fanbase must suffer.

Or, it could be that both sides are looking to take a bigger chunk out of the bottom line.

The Torch.

Speaking of Summer Slam, the card looks something like this.

Steve Austin vs Kurt Angle for the WWF Title: For those of you that didn’t read it on the newsboard, on WWF Superstars, the WWF Title’s mouseover picture is Steve Austin, but the name is Kurt Angle. The WWF doesn’t make mistakes like that and, if they do, someone would have noticed it by now. I think it’s all a ploy to make us think Angle has an actual shot at winning the thing. Then again, if you click the picture, it leads to the Rock’s Bio, Lance Storm leads to Eddy Guerrero, and Chyna leads to Lita. So, it may be whichever one of Lucas’s trolls that update that site decided to play with html and javascript while having no idea what he was doing.

Booker T vs The Rock – WCW Title: The only good WWF/WCW feud going right now. Won’t be a technical masterpiece, but should be watchable.

Lance Storm vs Edge – WWF Intercontinental Title: Some down home Canadian Violence. Should also be a very good match.

X-Pac vs Tajiri – Light Heavyweight Title Unification: X-Pac can wrestle, but can he let someone else be a unified champion?

Jeff Hardy vs Rob Van Dam – Hardcore Title: This is WAY too much effort for the dirty Hardcore Title. There is a ton of expectations on this match, and it should deliver. Look for this match to take up 30 – 45 minutes of the show.

Chris Jericho vs Rhyno: Steph against Jericho again. Will Rhyno be her new husband? Will we see Rhyno spear Steph live on the air? Will it deflate her breasts?

Dudley Boys and Test vs The APA and Spike: Curtain Jerker if I ever heard of one.

Really light card for one of the top three WWF events of the year. A lot of this PPV is going to ride on Hardy/Van Dam and the double main event delivering in big ways. My guess: The ladder match will be worth the price of admission by itself. The two most flexible men in the industry finding new and inventive ways to use a ladder. Where do I sign up?

PK doesn’t have the Roundtable up yet, so I have to try and predict the URL that’ll be generated. If it’s up by the time you read this, it should be here or here. Or, I may have the URL completely wrong and you’ll just have to look around the site for it. Regardless, it’ll have Summer Slam thoughts from any of the staff who saw fit to reply to PK.

Site Stuff:

Widro breaks his silence to give us a new column. He discusses what the WWF needs to do to liven things up a bit. Since Widro is all of our Gods, you know you have to read it it’s right here

Bryce McNeil has a new Foot on the Rope column. He talks WCW Stars who need to deliver, and deliver big tomorrow on Summer Slam. Read it here.

Danny Birdwell, who is not me, regardless of what people may think, recapped Tough Enough for you here. My two picks are out, so I’m in the dark now.

Sean McCluskey covered Smackdown for all y’all who don’t get UPN. I feel for him it’s tough to recap an hour’s worth of interviews and Austin saying “What?” forty-two times.

And, Carlos Mahuad gave us a little International Flava by covering AAA/CMLL Wresting on Mexican television. I give him serious thumbs-up for watching a show in Spanish and recapping it in English. I also give him props for picking up Heat for me. Read AAA/CMLL here.

That’s it for me. Watch the site tomorrow for coverage of Summer Slam as it happens, and then afterward for a full recap of the show. Remember to give the Rankings a look after the PPV tomorrow, as I’ll update them afterwards.

Lets pray all my html is right. Enjoy the weekend, be safe, and I’m off to purchase two hundred and forty dollars worth of puddin.

End Transmission.