411’s Weekend News Report 09.01.01


There’s a TON of stuff to cover, considering the news hasn’t been done since Monday. Then again, it’s a holiday weekend and I expect Widro to report that this column doing about six hits altogether. One of them being Grut, one being Widro, to make sure I didn’t f*ck up any HTML, and the rest being various friends who know I do this. Regardless, lets get right to it.

As always, on the Weekend, we’ll start with the Ross Report. This is, actually, the second Ross Report of the week but, since the first one really only reviewed Raw, we’ll skip it and just look at this one. Or, it could be that the WWF doesn’t archive the Ross Report on their site, and no one looked at it all week. I leave it to the reader to decide which explanation is the right one. Start, as always, with injuries:

  • Kane spent three days in the hospital with his infected elbow. He’ll be off the weekend house shows and next week’s television.
  • Kidman continues rehab. They expect him to be released in the next two or three weeks, and then he’ll spend another two or three weeks in OVW or HWA to work off ring rust which is crap. I’ll take a rusty Kidman over a fully healthy X-Pac any day. Who thinks Kidman will be inserted back into a program with Pac, and who thinks he’ll do more time on Jakked?
  • Trish is now walking without crutches. He felt the need to tell us that because NO ONE watched Excess.

Said he likes the feel of Excess and reminded us that it’s a work in progress. The live fan interaction is great. Live two phone calls and three carefully screened E-mails is “fan interaction?”

After the Rock’s weekend of WWF television, he’ll be on Conan O’Brian on Wednesday, Stern on Thursday, and Rosie O’Donnell on Friday.

Said he thinks the federation is doing a good job getting new faces on television, working Helms, Staziak, Stacy, Torrie, and Lance Storm in over the last couple weeks.

Managed to find a nice thing about Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly, telling us that both men have “amazing dropkicks.” He didn’t mention that Billy Gunn also has the nicest slide into the ring in wrestling.

Out of the WWF: Gangrel and Chaz. I’m sorry to see Gangrel go, but I’m also a big vampire fan. I think he very well had the best entrance, and music, in wrestling for a while. Chaz oh well.

Into the WWF: WCW female star Jazz. I guess that means they’re keeping the women’s division/title?

The Ross Report.

– Heat: 1.6, down 0.1
– Raw: 4.8, down 0.4
– Smackdown: 4.8, down 0.5

Speaking of Ratings, TNN was up 67% in viewership for the summer of 2001 (May to August) from last year, largely in part to the WWF. Lifetime was the Number One network for the summer because old yaks love watching movies about kidnapping. USA, on the other hand, was down 18%, which is the largest drop of any cable network. It’s ok, though, I’m sure the dog show and the US Open will take care of them through the winter.

I would also like to say, for the first time in my life as a wrestling fan, Prime Time Wrestling/Monday Night Raw will NOT BE INTERRUPTED SO I CAN WATCH POODLES RUN AROUND!!! HOO-HAH!!!!!

Some fan sent a message telling 1wrestling that some fan tried to rush JR Post-Raw. He jumped the rail and got assaulted by some 10 WWF officials before getting taking down. Scherer says that the guy got nowhere near JR before security brought him down. People see what happens to guys who jump the rail is there ANYONE out there that thinks this is a good idea anymore? I mean, if there is, mail me and let me know, because I think this has to be one of the stupidest things in the world. Espeically since Dave Hebner has shown he can lay down some serious crap if someone rushes the ring. That doesn’t even include what paid security can do.

The first week of Excess was, apparently, a smashing success for the TNN execs. While the show only did a 0.9 cable rating and a 1.8 share, it was a 1.7 rating in the 12 to 17 demographic, which was a 1600% increase over the previous week. Not only that, the show that aired last week did a paltry, in compaison, 0.7 rating. Folks, I may be on the soapbox a bit here, but who thinks that 12-30 year old males are going to be home on a Saturday night to watch wrestling? There was a reason Superstars and Livewire did poorly they’re RECAP shows. The only people who are going to stay home and watch wrestling on the weekend are hardcore fans and hardcore fans saw Raw and Smackdown already. I’m going to delve into this much deeper in next week’s Cheap Heat. Look for it on Wednesday-ish.

Brian Adams was interviewed on the radio and, when asked if Kronik would be making their way to the WWF, told the interviewer that both he and Clarke have a couple months left on their WCW deals. Then again, since they blew off Vince and the golden “Demolition 2000” gimmick, I’d expect to see Jarrett in the WWF before them.

Chyna was on Larry King Live on Wednesday. Some highlights:

  • When asked why she left, she said she didn’t she was released. Her and the WWF couldn’t come to terms with a new contract. Her decision came down to: 1) she couldn’t do other things. 2) It would have meant moving backwards financially. And 3) she’d milked the cow already
  • She’s going to be in another Playboy. Cuz God knows we need the free advertising for her plastic surgeon. Speaking of which, she also confirmed that one of her breast implants had once popped.
  • Said she has never used steroids. They didn’t ask her about straight injected bull semen, however.
  • Said she was raped at the University of Tampa ((the hell?)), but writing about it in her book helped her finally get over it.
  • Said “never say never” when she was asked if she would return to wrestling. After she realizes that Hollywood only wanted her ((**coff**sable**coff**)) because Raw offers free advertising to Hollywood’s golden age group, she’ll be paying Vince for a chance to come back. Then it’ll be Vince’s turn to tell her that they’ve milked the cow already.
  • All the preceding, plus ((I kid you not)) 54 popups courtesy of 1Wrestling.

    The Rest of the Kevin Sullivan interview that I covered in last week’s Weekend News was posted on Monday. Here’s the highlights from the rest:

    • Said the his most memorable match was his retirement match against Chris Benoit in 1996. People still talk to him about those. He doesn’t mention WHY they were so memorable, but luckily, Grut’s covering it here.
    • Said the best thing he ever did in WCW was help convince Hulk Hogan to turn heel. Said Hogan stayed at his house that night and he talked him through it. It took most of the night. ((Insert obligatory comment about everyone in wrestling being a complex series of BJ’s here)).
    • He doesn’t want to think he’s done in the business, because he thinks he’s a creative guy, and he made the most out of what he had, considering his size limitations.

    The folks in Dallas, TX will get to see the first return match against Austin and the Rock at a house show scheduled for 9/8. That could change, at this point, but it’s probably a warm-up match indicating a future program.

    Also, there is no truth to the rumors that Goldberg is thinking of showing up in the WWF anytime soon. He’s perfectly content to stay home and collect paychecks, while slowly realizing that no one gives a damn about him anymore.

    Russo’s tour of Australia has enticed Bret Hart back into wrestling. Well, at least refereeing. I’m glad to see Bret doing something again. I send another hearty FU out to Goldberg for putting him out of the business.

    The Observer

    Hawk did a radio interview on August 23rd on WLFR in Atlantic City. Some highlights:

    • Said his heat with Vince McMahon stems from the LOD’s return to the WWF in 1997. They approached Vince with and idea for a cartoon like Osmosis Jones, but which would deal with taking care of your body. Said Vince wanted no part of it and Hawk got the “high and intoxicated” angle instead. Said Vince doesn’t care about things that do not make him money. Since Osmosis Jones is tearing up the box office, I bet Vince maligns his decision now.
    • Said LOD was never used correctly in the WWF in their last return. This also included not pairing them back with Paul Ellering when he was brought in, jobbing them out to new, talentless tag teams, and paying little or no attention to LOD2K.
    • Was never contacted about working with Animal during his short return to WCW. He said he feels much the same about Bischoff as he does about McMahon, and probably wouldn’t have worked for him anyway. ((riiiiiight))
    • Said that LOD’s pricing for independent promoters is “very reasonable” nowadays. Jeez, whyever could that be?

    The Torch.

    RFVideo confirmed 1wrestling’s report about the Undertaker not only refusing to job to Albert, but refused the job in a handicap match, too.

    Apparently, Rhyno and RVD are the Main Office’s favorite ECW prospects right now. Perhaps that’s because they’re the only “new” ECW talents currently on air and getting any kinds of reactions right now? Regardless, it’s good to see they’re not automatically down on them just because they’re ECW guys.


    Site Stuff:

    Slow week for columns and whatnot

    The television reports, posted just minutes after the shows ((or in Smackdown’s case, about 35 minutes because I was proofreading while watching Tough Enough)) are all up on the site. Raw is here, Smackdown ((which I did, therefore it rocks)) is here, The WWF Enough report ((his words, not mine)) is here. At some point after Excess, the Report on that show will show up here.

    There’s a new Rhymin Lyrical Stunt up here. He starts with a parody of “Pop” which is pretty damn good.

    A new Cheap Heat ((by yours truly again, so it also rocks)) is up here. It’s about Unifying the WWF and WCW World Titles.

    Joe Rivett takes on Internet Spoilers and why people even bother with them here.

    And Craig Letawsky, writer of the best Q&A on the net, takes another set of questions and answers them here.

    That’s it for me. I hope all of you have a good and safe holiday weekend, and I’ll see you on Wednesday with an all new Cheap Heat.

    End Transmission.