I’m Joshua Grut, and I don’t give a damn anymore about any of you! Not a single one of you! Not even you, Widro! I hate you most of all! Widro, don’t look at me like that. I hate you! Widro, stop it! Stop crying Widro! It’s not going to work this time. It’s not! Oh God. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Widro. Here, take my hankie. I love you. I love all you guys! From now on, I’m only going to report the news and once in awhile throw in something from my life that I find interesting.
Whew. Glad I’m over that.
News!!!!!
MAVEN AND NIDIA WIN TOUGH ENOUGH! Darryl fired from 7-11.
Yes, Maven and Nidia took home the incredibly gaudy Tough Enough statues and a WWF contract after about 8-12 weeks of training. Nidia thanked Taylor. Maven thanked his mom but forgot about Josh and Chris. I think Harvard’s name was Chris.
Maven sounded exactly like the Rock during his acceptance speech. Not what he was saying. Just the pitch of his voice. He is looking foward to finding dog crap in his bag every day for the next few years.
Nidia looks foward to having sex with a Hardy Boy.
HELEN HART HOSPITALIZED
Helen Hart has been hospitalized with a coma at Foothills Hospital. I presume the hospital is in Canada by a hill.
While there is so much tragedy in the world today, the Hart family has been through so much in recent years. Let’s all say a prayer for the matriarch and her family.
GOLDBERG PUTS HIS FOOT SOMEWHERE OTHER THEN BRET HART’S HEAD
While this is on his official site, GoldbergBook.com, I lifted this from PWBTS.
Goldberg admitted he was shocked that no WWF wrestlers had visited the New York victims. “After inquiring about whether or not any WWF wrestlers had been to New York to offer support for the policemen and firefighters, it’s amazing that, even though the WWF is basically based in New York City (Stamford CT), none had been by there. Or at least to the places we had been, and with the people we saw and spoke with. That’s disgusting. People ask me why I’m not working for the WWF. Well, I think that explains it.â€Â
Yeah, those bastard WWF wrestlers! So what if they donated tons and tons of clothing? So what if they’ve donated tons of money? No, in order for Goldberg to be happy the WWF wrestlers must go ground zero to distract the brave individuals whom are trying to recover over 6,000 more bodies.
You’re so high and mighty Bill? You’re so great and glorious? You’re going to insult these people who are trying to get on with their lives while doing what they can to help? My father works about three blocks away from the WTC, and I can hardly bear to look down the road when I go to his office. I certainly don’t wish to disturb the workers. I think you’re a dick for bragging about your visit down there while condemning the wrestlers who didn’t go.Hey Bill, on the15th when me and my fraternity brothers were collecting canned goods and buying bandages, water, medicine and other things, as well as shaking the hand of every cop and fireman we saw, where the hell were you? Hiding in Atlanta, waiting for a few weeks to go by so the dust in the air could settle and not blind you in your other eye? You disgust me.
Hyatte’s Jewish jokes about you always bugged me because I’m Jewish. It’s too bad he had to stoop to ethnic jokes about you when he could have been making jokes about what an asshole you are. I hope the clamor for the WWF to hire you ends. You ended the career of a legend. Now you’ve used the greatest tragedy in the history of our country to insult the WWF. I hope you roll over and die.
Kurt Angle Bytes Big
Kurt was on Byte This. He said something to the effect that now the fans would begin to cheer for him more in light of the tragedy because he represents America.
What a dick. As big as a dick as Goldberg? Not even close. But still a dick.
THE ROSS REPORT MENTIONS OKLAHOMA FOOTBALL!
Wanna see what the man had to report this week? So do I. Let’s go!
Injuries:
Russ Haas had a heart attack and seizures. He’s out of the hospital, but his wrestling career is in limbo.
Shawn Stasiak may have to have groin surgery. He never should have put the microphone in his uretha. There are easier ways to tape a conversation, Shawn!
Kidman is cleared to wrestle, and is going to Kentucky to wrestle in Ohio Valley Wrestling. Kentucky is almost as bad as Ohio. Not quite. Flash, an OVW guy, also returned.
Shelton Benjamin is heading to a specialist, while Josh Wilcox is working through the pain.
Bob Holly will be back in six months.
Triple H will probably be back in December.
Rikishi is fat.
Trish is free to set the ring on fire by October 15th.
Benoit’s a couple of months away. Jerry Lynn is only 2 months away.
Eric Angle has died! No, wait. Sorry. He’ll be going to the doctors to see if he needs surgery in the next few weeks.
And Elix Skipper will be doing some therapy for an injured knee before he goes back to doing nothing.
Other Stuff:
Kurt Angle’s book is doing well. The WWF is taping a celebrity the Weakest Link. Rob Van Dam is good but his style will get him hurt. I’m really bored by this whole thing. I mean really bored. Oh! Here’s something. Brian Clarke was fired, but Brian Adam will be sent to Louisville. After the match I saw, it should be the other way around. That’s all there is worth reporting.
Did I miss anything news worthy? Nah.
AN INTERNET WRESTLING WRITER SPEAKS: THIS WEEK’S SHORT A WRESTLING TALE
We’re all the same.
Hyatte, Ryder, Morse, Tito, Rajah, Metzler. We’re all the same.
We do not get paid to do this, and if we do we do not make very much money. Most of us have other jobs, other businesses. We do what we do because we love wrestling. At least that’s why we start. Eventually we build up a bit of a fan base and enjoy being seen as something more then a nerd who likes wrestling. Our opinions become respected, not just on wrestling but other things as well. The words that leave our mouths are accepted as the gospell truth by those who read our work. Our ego grows as soon as we sign on, and shrink when we sign off. Even when we stop enjoying writing about wrestling it becomes a quick fix, I think. I haven’t stopped enjoying it yet.
We are the very slightly famous, the kind of well known in some small circles. Some are more well known then others, but one out of about (rough estimate) a million people in the US might know who Bob Ryder is. That’s being generous. The difference between the Ryder’s and the Grut’s is the difference between being a pebble and a grain of sand.
Still, we are grains and pebbles with a fanbase and thus an ego. We insult and compete with each other, and for what? So that we can feel important. We can feel that we are better then the other grains of sand. In some cases it does make us feel better. In some cases it just makes us feel pathetic.
What’s the point of all of this? All the fighting, the feuding, the clamors to fire people, it’s pointless. We are the Soap Opera Weekly magazine in the supermarket. You don’t see those writers bickering and fighting and calling for people to be fired. We are the unpaid voice of the wrestling fans, and even then we insist upon seperating ourselves from them. Smarts and Marks and Smarks. That’s just super.
We are losers! We have nothing better to do then this! It’s pathetic! It’s frightening that we allow ourselves to dwell on such a stupid topic! That’s what brings us all together. That’s what makes us all the same. The number of fans we have may be different, but that’s all. That’s it. The world views us all the same way.
I am proud to be one of you.
Joshua Grut
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