Hey all I wanted to try out a new type of column for 411. I ran it by Widro and he gave me the green light, so I’m going to test it for a couple weeks and see what kind of, if any, response it gets. Basically, I want to take a look back at the week in wrestling. Highlights lowlights whatever strikes me. Consider it, for now, a work in progress and, like I said, we’ll see how it goes. I’m going to try to have it sitting on the site on Monday Morning.
The WWF went through a second week of “Where is Stone Cold Steve Austin?†The faxes on Monday were funny the first two times, but got kind of irritating by the end of the show. I understand they’re trying to build heat for yet ANOTHER Austin/Angle PPV Main Event, but I also think it’s outside Austin’s current character. The “I sold my soul for the belt†Austin should have been on Raw the next night, demanding either a title rematch or a rescinded decision. Triple H demanded the title decision be reversed after Jericho beat him, and Austin’s current character should do the same. I discussed what Angle should have done in my current Cheap Heat ((which is here)). Angle took the one thing that made his character unique and flushed it down the toilet. Now he’s another “badass†in a sea of badasses.
Does anyone else require an explanation when a wrestler kidnaps someone’s valet, only to appear the next week with that very same valet, now brainwashed into being their valet? I mean, I know they’ve been doing this for years, but it fails to make any more sense now than the first time. What do wrestler’s have in their homes subliminal brainwashing machines? They must, because Molly went from being Spike’s girlfriend of six months to Mighty Molly. Now, any guy reading this knows that yaks can be fickle, and I find it necessary to hearken back to the ox c*ck argument I made back in the last Raw Report I wrote, but ditching Spike for a lunatic? God knows, Molly certainly didn’t fall for the Hurri-cycle or the flashy outfit. It leaves us to wonder what Hurricane has under the hood . Or in the Hurricave.
Big Show hammered giving an interview from WWF-NY that was the funniest thing of the week.
Something else I discussed in a column a while back pointless tag team matches on WWF television. How many WWF vs WCW tag matches do we need per week? Is there any reason to bury Booker T, Jericho, and RVD in a futile six-man tag with Kane and the Undertaker? Especially when all three of them are better served in singles matches to, you know, entertain us.
Speaking of Jericho, it looks like the semi-teased heel turn from Unforgiven has been done away with. I often wonder if Jericho is happy where he is He’s getting paid ((probably well)) to do the same things over and over on the mid-card. Now, he’s getting to watch RVD skyrocket past him right after watching Benoit do the same a couple months back. Jericho is lame very lame and he’s not getting any better.
WAY too much time was given to “Steph’s Injury?†I understand it was probably designed to be annoying, but isn’t there a point where there’s just enough Stephanie on television? I think the only reason they put the injury reminder segments on Raw was so we’d notice she was gone. I personally didn’t think of it until it was mentioned.
Speaking of things I can do without. Shane McMahon in a WWF Title Match? OK, remember, back in the day, when Eric Bischoff wrestled for the WCW Title? It was stupid then and it’s stupid now. If you’re going to have a title match as a main event, how about giving us a title match where there’s a possibility of the title changing hands. ((The fact that it was fully possible Bischoff would have won the title is not lost on the author)). The Rock vs the Dudleys in a WCW Title match. Riiiight, because halves of Tag Teams are usually number one contenders and speaking of the WCW Title match, could someone explain to me where Mike Chiota, a WWF Referee, gets the authority to overrule Charles Robinson, a WCW Referee, in a WCW Title match? I’ve already resigned myself to accepting that Shane can book WWF Title Matches and Regal can book WCW Title Matches so, I guess, accepting the wrong referee is just a step behind.
Yet Hebner still gets to do every WWF Title Match
Torrie vs Stacy like cornbread ain’t nothing wrong with that.
Edge’s “shoot†on X-Pac was absolutely hee-larious although he could have gone a bit farther, considering X-Pac’s character hasn’t really changed since he was Syxx in WCW. He could have gone further than 1998, and told Pac that 1995 was sick of him. I also like how X-Pac’s music was set up to go directly after Christian’s comments. At least the WWF is now realizing that X-Pac sucks and are directly trying to play off it. Of course, BOTH Light Heavyweight belts are still on him, and they don’t seem to be coming off.
Lots of hardway blood this week. Regal bleeding from Storm’s kick to the face and Angle from RVD’s. I’ve been reading a lot of places that WWFers are complaining that RVD works too stiff. Allow me to shed a tear hey guys: YOU’RE WRESTLERS. I’m sure if RVD punches someone a bit to hard, he doesn’t mind taking a shot back. Eye for an eye. My guess would be this is coming from a lot of the guys who are pissed off at how much RVD has been able to accomplish in two months in the federation. You know, like getting OVER in a matter of weeks. Since they can’t fault his popularity, let’s complain that he works stiff. Bah.
I think Net-Folks are being a bit too tough on the Maven/Tazz match. YOU try stepping out in front of 20,000 people for your first time and we’ll see how fluid you are. I say, screw HWA give Maven some dark matches and stick him on a couple more TV shows. Work off the popularity Tough Enough gave him. If you send him down to the minors for months ((or years, as in Nidia’s case)), no one is going to remember who the hell he is when he comes back. JR will have to remind us “yeah this is the young buck who won Tough Enough. He’s a blue-chipper a HOSS!†People are CHANTING for him for Cripe’s Sake. Give him a shot. Yeah yeah he’s gotta pay dues so did Goldberg, and he ended up being one of WCW’s biggest stars. Superstars come out of nowhere I know giving Maven TV time is going to piss people off but a lot of wrestler’s get over on Charasima and improve in-ring as they go along ((see also: The Rock)). Maven has the build, the look, and the confidence. Sending him down to Heartland is going to break the confidence and squander the bit of heat he has now. He’ll have to start from Square One if he returns to WWF Television.
Booker T shouting “YEAH!†at random intervals during backstage segments is my current favorite thing in wrestling ((besides The Hurricane)).
Speaking of silly gimmicks Positively Page? A bad thing happened one stupid gimmick is succeeding in spite of itself. Since The Hurricane is getting a small following the writers seem to think some other stupid gimmicks have a chance of succeeding. Do we really need to return to the time where wrestlers had side jobs? I, for one, can do without a wrestling, motivational speaker. Did it cross their mind that the reason DDP didn’t get over was because he was the Undertaker and Sara’s bitch for two months? A guy can’t come off as a legitimate heel threat if he gets his ass handed to him every single time he’s in a match AND can’t even use heelish tactics to win it. DDP was an awesome surprise as the Stalker, but it, like the rest of the Invasion, went straight to hell.
Oh yeah and referees in a match always a bad idea.
I watched part of Excess in a Sport’s Bar over wings and beer last night. I’ll give them major thumbs up on showing some WCW footage. Yes, believe it or not, they showed Benoit beating Sid for the WCW World Title at Souled Out 2000. It was clipped to death, of course since, god forbid, we get a full match of WRESTLING during the terrific two hour recap. Can’t have anything break up the monotony of things that happened on Smackdown two days ago or asking Debra for her cookie recipe.
I was shocked and saddened to see there’s over 100 readers of the site who don’t know who the Outsiders are. I’m happy to hear JR mention it in his column, because if he’s mentioning it, things are close to being sealed. In my own damn opinion, they can’t get the Outsiders quick enough. F*ck The Alliance. Bring Back the New World Order. A strong New World Order. Make an outside force the WWF guys might actually be concerned about, rather than the league of jobbers they’re up against now. Why not? The WWF owns the rights to New World Order they just don’t own the old logo. They can make a new logo. Take some of the damn structure out of the show it doesn’t seem like much of an Invasion when everything happens at pre-ordained times.
They better do something quick because Smackdown’s dropping to pre-Nitro levels in the ratings which can’t be making the higher-ups happy.
Anyhow, that’s my look at this week in wrestling. Please, I ask you guys to e-mail me and tell me what you think about this column the format any thoughts you might have. If it gets a positive response, I’ll keep it up if not, I’ll trash it.
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