A Wrestling News Report 10.25.01

Archive

Well, Eric S. certainly has an opinion and a forum to express that opinion. Widro thinks that Eric is smart. Widro thinks that Eric is pretty. Widro want to add Eric Szulczewski to Gridro, suggesting we rename our little team Gridrewski. Wait, no. He thinks the name of the team should be… oh no… please no Widro… Widrewski.

On my own.

With no Widro besides me.

On my own.

I write about wrestling.

But I love him, but everyday I’m learning

Widro is a New Jerseyian

Who don’t know how to love!

Couple of things before we get started. First of all, if you would like Love Doctor Joshua Stephen Grutman to answer all of your Love Queries tomorrow in a bit I’m calling LDJSG, send in your questions. They don’t just have to be about love, they can be about anything. Still, if you have some wrestling questions, you’d be better off sending them to Letawsky. Thanks to my best gal pal Lora for the idea. AIM LiNklnLoRa. Tell her she’s sexy.

Second of all, I said this last week. “Guess you’re going to have to rely on the royalty check from you book, eh Scott? Back to the Smarks with you!” In an attempt to make make myself look even dumber, I stand by that statement! I retract nothing! You think Scott Keith ever licked his finger and then placed it on his nipple? This isn’t a knock on him. I’m just wondering. Widro has admitted that he loves Keith also. Widro just spreads the love around. I have decided to call them both Underhaters! Why? Why shall be revealed in time…

News!!!

UNDERTAKER REALLY A 70 YEAR OLD ITALIAN GUY WHO LIVES IN CORONA.

Kronik wasn’t the success that everyone except for you internet UNDERHATERS thought it would be. After this disaster, rather then light his dick on fire and run around the locker room screaming about how his dick was red hot, the Undertaker has been much more low key in the locker room. Most of the time, the Undertaker is seen in the back playing cards or dominoes with his friends.

Hey! This gives me an idea for another HANGING GARDENS!

Undertaker (playing cards Guys dont cheat me. Im dead man playing poker.

Faroq (looks at cerds. has 5 aces. he3y? who dealt this hand?

Kane (set of flames from cerds wit hands i did. i’m kane.

huricane there;s a huricane comin g through. woosoh.

stone cold i hate you guys.

tajiri MOOCAH YOKA MODO MODO !

Thank you Wade. Thank you for being my friend.

JUNK NEWS! HUZZAH!

Scott Steiner might sue Time Warner for his career ending injury that has nothing to do with massive steroid use and sloppy in-ring work. Observer Newsletter.

Lance Storm hates to fly. He also hates Maven. Stormwrestling.com.

Lita and Trish were on Howard Stern last night on E! After failing to get them to do hot lesbian stuff, Howard asked if Lita had a penis. Lita reminded him she was not Chyna. Robin laughed. They were followed by Maggie the Burping Beauty Queen.

Tori’s pretty much fired. Bye bye honey. I heard she couldn’t stop hitting on wrestlers. What a slut. Observer Newsletter.

JUNK NEWS! HUZZAH!

COPY AND PASTE OF THE DAY WINNER!

MICK FOLEY FEELS CHEAP. MICK, YOU GOTTA STOP WEARING THAT DRESS.

The WWF recently approached Mick Foley about returning to the ring for a program against William Regal, but Foley rejected the plan. Now with Regal’s injury, there is no immediate plan for Foley to return to in-ring action.

Foley has not been happy with the way he has been used by the WWF, with all the meaningless appearances cheapening his value. Foley expects to have more leverage when his contract expires.

Torch Newsletter.

THIS YEAR’S EW PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING JOKE IS….

Congratulations to the ROck for coming in at #100 on Entertainment Weekly’s 100 most powerful people in entertainment! Formerly held by Pikachu and Vince McMahon, The Rock should be proud to be more powerful then Carrot Top and slightly less powerful then Jay Mohr. Congratulations Rock!

PW had this, but I honestly got it from the magazine. So no link!

WIDRO EATS DOG POOP

In a 411 exclusive, webmaster Widro has eaten large amounts of dog poop. Here is a direct quote from an interview given earlier this afternoon.

“MMMM! DOG POOP! I LOVE IT! MORE!”

Widro is being consider for ejection from the Gridro field of love. Possible replacement? YOU!

Hmmm. Should we go slumming for news? Nah. We’ll do it tomorrow.

SHE PLUGGED RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR, PLUGGED RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR. HEY ALL RIGHT! I’LL GET BY! IT’S PLUGGED. PLUGGED OH PLUGGED! LET’S PLUG!



Hey, Eric, you gotta do me a favor and give the other writers some shout outs. There are too many here. I’m afraid. Well, CW will do the hard work anyway.

Daniel Benovitz is back with an all new Tornado DDT. He lists the top ten worst entrance theme songs of all time. #1? RIC FLAIR!

The World would be a better place if it was According To Ron. He’s been watching wrestling for too long. Preach on, my goyish brother!

“Mommy, daddy, why do I have a hole and Tommy has a peg that fits in my hole?” “Oh, don’t ask me. ASK 411!”.

Daniels seems to think we’re feuding. We’re not. This is a column about love. It’s not about the Underhaters and the really angry people with S in their name. Man, I liked most of what I read, but the guy needs to learn that you can your anger away! A two step a day will cure them blues! Just ask Daniels, with last week’s The Week In Wrestling. He insults me a bunch of times. Idiot! I’m the Love Doctor! I co-opt a field of love with Widro! No web feuds with people on my own site.

I don’t have to plug Keith. I figure the man is doing fine hits on his own. That and he hates my dad. That’s right. The Undertaker is my father, and you’ve made him cry like a little girl Scott Keith! He’s been trying harder! Haven’t you seen him trying harder? You’re mean Scott Keith! And that leads me to my finishing maneuver. (I swear to God, I’ve been trying to think of a good name for Wednesday’s ending. If you can think of a better one, send it to me.)

THE FINISHING MANEUVER

Now, Scott and Eric don’t have very nice things to say about wrestling. Keith likes the Rock, Eric hates the Rock. Scott hates the Hurricane, Eric hates the Hurricane. Scott likes Triple H, Eric hates Triple H. Scott loves the Undertaker, Eric loves the Undertaker.

Here’s a question that we haven’t thought about yet: Why do strip?

That’s right. A little known fact about both Eric S. and Scott Keith is that they are both Male Strippers. They’re not gay bar dancers. They make the ladies scream and howl. They don’t talk about wrestling, they don’t gripe about Anthrax, they just dance.

Why do they do it? It’s late. I don’t care.

But dance you Canadian and cynic. Dance the night away.

See them there

Really mean

The underhating scene

Keith can dance!

Split your pants!

Eric S. monkeys all night.

See them there

They’re not lean

The underhating scene!

Joshua Grut loves 411! Don’t fire me Widro!