Well, 411 got a new columnist, and boy he certainly knows how to ingratiate himself to a new audience. I guess since the stuff that happened on September 11th didn’t affect him personally, then it’s perfectly OK to piss on those of us, here in New York, who were. I guess those of us who have had to attend body-less funerals don’t really matter. I mean, it didn’t personally inconvenience him, so it’s not really his problem is it? The 4,700 bodyless funerals are just no big deal.
But, I just sit back and grin… because what the jackass doesn’t seem to realize, is that he, and all the pseudo-liberal columnists in the United States do nothing but prove how great a country we live in. Go somewhere else and publish a column about how you’d personally like to arrange the death of the nation’s leader… see how long you live. Here, we can do that… and yet they’ll go off and tell you every chance they get of how the country isn’t being run right. That’s their opinion, to which they’re entitled, and we live in a nation that protects their right to write about it. Read it and get pissed about it… but realize how great a thing it is to be reading it. Make sure you let them know that, too. Nothing pisses folks like him off more than supporting the government. They hate things that bring the country together, because their small, small voices become a mosquito buzzing around the greater whole. It gets them attention, but it makes them very annoying.
Or, he could just be one of those writers that have to say controversial things just to get people coming back. Anyone can do that.
There is actually quite a bit more I’d like to say about him, but this being a wrestling website and all, I’ll actually spend more than a quarter of my column talking about, you know, wrestling.
Vince and Linda McMahon have reunited. They came out together on Monday and they were together most of the night on Smackdown. You know, I understand that couples can reunite, but could we at least mention something about this reconcilliation on-screen? Not even six months ago, Vince was cheating on Linda with Trish, having her medicated 24-hours a day… later, he got caught, by Linda, with his pants down, with Torrie Wilson… and now, they’re all lovey and happy again? People DO watch wrestling for more than three months at a clip. If they want to make it a soap opera, and they want to compel people to come back week after week, they can’t just drop storylines and then go away for a few months, and change the facts around. It ticks off people who have been watching for a while and it makes newer fans roll their eyes.
The new writer they want to hire has to have four or five years of soap opera writing experience. Well, soap operas have historians who examine every script to make sure it doesn’t violate characterization or unintentionally irrefute something. Vince and Co don’t seem to care. They don’t care if they contradict themselves in the same segment, much less the same show. Forget three whole months, as far as they’re concerned, we wrestling fans have memories only going back two months or so. The fans who watch wrestling now are not the drunk men who watched it forty years ago. If they’re going to make it completely a soap, they need to have characters who don’t change their attitude week to week and are willing to tell a story, regardless of whether or not that means them looking bad in the ring. And that includes anyone with the last name of McMahon.
Speaking of McMahons, am I the only one currently suffereing from McMahon overdose? Using them as ancillary characters is cool, but to have all four of them on… constantly… is getting a bit annoying. They were in just about every segment of Smackdown, and now, I’m guessing, the main event of this week’s Raw is going to be Vince vs Shane in their Wrestlemania rematch. You know, really giving the fans what they want to see.
DDP made his first reappearance this week in a WWF ring, to be immediately chokeslammed away by Kane. Well, I guess Page’s new lot in life is to simply be Kane or the Undertaker’s bitch. What was wrong with DDP being just DDP? He was a compelling speaker and a decent wrestler when he was in WCW. He is just being buried by the WWF. First in getting beaten by 100-pound Sarataker, and now with a stupid, stupid gimmick. When he was heel DDP in WCW, he could get boos without resorting to cheap heat. This goes back to the soap opera writer thing. A soap writer gets you to hate a character without that character having to say “your city sucks!” They do heelish things. They set up and hurt the people you like. The original run of Triple H as a heel, before running over Austin, THAT was a character that everyone just plain hated. He was a bastard… a prick… and did evil, evil things. We hated him for what he was and what he did, not what he said. THAT is the secret of making a heel. Page could do this, without being the annoying thing he is now.
Maven hosted WWF NY on Raw, and “demoted himself” to one of the WWF Farm Leagues. I figured it was coming, it was just a matter of when. Obviously, the boys don’t like him very much. Storm took him to task in his latest column. So, I’ll assume the actual wrestlers have an idea of what’s best. All I know is the Rock was able to get over on not knowing how to wrestle for a good two years before he became the Rock, and Hogan has been doing it for 20 years. The Rock never started out with a quarter of the support Maven has either. So, when the WWF puts him back on television in three or four years, after no one remembers who he is anymore, that support will be gone and they will be BEGGING ME TO TELL THEM WHAT STEP TO TAKE NEXT!
In other Tough Enough news, Nidia was on Smackdown getting belittled by Tazz until Al Snow came to the rescue. Nidia looks GOOD. I wonder if they’ll bother sending her to OVW or if they’ll just make her a valet. Look at Trish… they trained her on the road, and she’s a pretty passable worker now.
The Rhyno/Angle match for the US Title was one of the better ones on Raw in the last few weeks. Somewhere along the line ((I must have missed the meeting)) Rhyno was granted anti-finisher powers by kicking out of the Angle Slam. All for naught, though, as he lost the belt anyway… and then was suspended on Smackdown for losing said title.
Speaking of titles, I don’t exactly understand the point of taking every title off Alliance guys on Raw. The only thing I can think of was to get the babyface-ish guys out of the Alliance. They guys who were booted on Smackdown, Kidman, Rhyno, and Hurricane are way too cheerable to be in the Heel group. Angle gets the US title to hopefully try and elevate it a bit. Bradshaw gets the European title for a singles experiment. Tajiri gets the Cruiserweight Title just because people dig him. And Jericho and Rock get the tag titles to further their storyline. Chuck Palumbo either got kicked out on Thursday because he’s 1) heading to the minors or 2) is ready to start on a big babyface push. Why the WWF likes him so much and completely disregards both Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire is beyond me.
I think the WWF is shooting themselves in the foot with constant title changes. They had five title changes this week, not counting the PPV. I understand they have a lot of belts, but it kind of makes everything a bit watered down. There are ten titles on WWF television right now… which is fine, but it seems like every match is for some title. And, at this point, the only titles left in the Alliance are the WWF World and the WCW Tag. When a title changes hands, its supposed to be a big deal. Now, it’s almost commonplace to see at least one title change a week, and it’s affecting the “prestige” of the belts. However much prestige a belt in a fixed sport can have. You know, like boxing titles.
Speaking of Jericho and Rock, I’m glad to see the feud hasn’t been buried after the PPV match. People have been clamoring for this Jericho/Rock war of words since Jericho hit the federation. Now that we’re getting it, it’s certainly not disappointing. The little Jericho/Rock backstage segments are great. This week, Jericho gave rock the nameplate off the WCW Title only to have Rock hand him a chair… just in case there’s a rematch. Good stuff. Jericho did come to the Rock’s rescue on Smackdown when he was getting attacked by TNT and RVD. So Jericho really does care after all. Or, he’s just trying to protect his title. Either way, it worked.
The tag team scene in the WWF has gotten kind of stale of late. The titles have really been bouncing around the same four teams for almost a year now, and one of those teams is gone. Now, though, you have Storm and Hurricane as a possible team. Jindrak and O’Haire. Palumbo and Staziak. The Impact Players as a possible team. Jesus, even Harlem Heat is a possibility. Kronik is sitting in OVW because they’ve had one bad match. Now, I’m no big Kronik fan, believe me, but I do like Wrath. The WWF had plans once to make them Demolition 2000. What’s the problem with doing that now? Lord, it’s not like anyone else in the federation has ever had a bad match. It seems like a waste to have all these possible teams and not doing anything with them. Especially since they’ve gone from the strongest tag team division in years, to the weakest, all in like, two years.
Foley has joined Regal in the commissioner’s office. The two of them hang out together backstage. The odd couple thing they got going is good for a few laughs. Regal has to be a bit more careful of when the cameras go off though, because they caught the beginning of him starting to laugh in one segment of Smackdown before going to commercial.
There was a Battle Royal on Smackdown to crown a Number One contender to Jericho’s WCW title. During it, Tommy Dreamer got an Awesome Bomb through a table out side the ring. They didn’t mention him again in the match and he was getting stretchered out. I certainly hope he’s OK. Everyone figured RVD would be winning the match, I figured on Booker. RVD is busy right now with McMahon and Austin.
Seems like they’re heading for a break-up of Matt Hardy and Lita. Matt can’t keep it in his shorts. Can you really blame him? Look at the meat walking around backstage in the WWF. I mean, he must not be in as much heaven as his brother Jeff, who not only gets to see naked guys showering backstage, but gets to roll around with them in the ring, but he I’m sure Matt has his share of questioning his relationship. Why anyone would question a relationship with Lita is still beyond me, but hey, the grass is always greener.
It seems to me like Austin is kind of shifting back to old, faceish Austin. He acted more like him than heel Austin on Smackdown this week. He even busted out his “That’s the Bottom Line” catchphrase, which hasn’t been heard in ages. Are they foreshadowing a face turn at Survivor Series? Something stupid’s got to happen. It would be nice to see WCW get it’s own show, just to split them up and get some of the belts off of WWF television. I hope the whole Invasion thing kicks up a level when they start getting the big guys from WCW.
The WWF seems to be trying to make Heat more than a throwaway show. Three out of the four matches on the show were title matches ((see above)). And looking at Mahuad’s Heat Report, two out of four of them were good. Between football and the World Series, I don’t think many folks probably watched it. I know I didn’t.
Looks like, on the other hand, that Excess was awful this week. No from the vault match, which means there really isn’t any point to watching it.
And that will do it for me this week. I’m thinking of, next week, adding a section of predictions for the week ahead. Either predictions or a “Where do they go from here” type thing… where I’d go over what I would do if I was writing the the show. Email me and tell me what you think of either of these ideas. Till then