The Monday Edition 10.29.01

Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening whatever time you are reading this. I’m Flea and this is Monday Edition. Hopefully all of you remembered to change you clocks or things are going to seem really, really weird for the next few days. Don’t blame yourselves, it’s the stupid farmers with their “daylight savings” bullshit.

Come on, let’s go

FIRST OFF

EXCESSIVE BEHAVIOR

I’m not sure what the WWF was thinking Saturday night, but EXCESS was totally off track. As probably the only person who likes the damn program, I was disappointed that the show took the form of “Live Wire or “Superstars” when, for better or worse, they did have their own thing going with the in studio guests and the “From the Vault” segment. According to the promos, EXCESS is back to normal next week with Raven as the special guest, so this must have been a one-week deal. Gee, the Rodeo Program that followed didn’t look all THAT great. And don’t even get me started on Robot Wars with Cactus Jack.

It has been said all along that WWF EXCESS is just a test run for another form of WWF programming, presumably a WCW/ECW show. At this point, that remains to be seen as Survivor Series is suppose to change all the rules. So start saving your money / throw away your Direct TV, it’s only three weeks away. And don’t forget to read my recap. Thank You.

HAVE YOU HEARD?

NWA President Jim Miller says this:

“On October 13th the NWA World Heavyweight Title was held-up due to the controversial finish of the match between then champion Steve Corino and challenger Shin’ya Hashimoto. With six of our NWA Board members split on the decision of how the title should actually change hands, in casting the final vote, I held the title up pending a full investigation. Even though my decision was an unpopular one at the time, I have since received full support from the remaining board members in that we are in agreement that the title is currently vacant.

Think about it. If we were not so damned jaded and still believed wrestling was real, THIS is what we could be watching on Monday Nights instead of that “sports entertainment crap”. A good old-fashioned “board of directors” angle. But hey! WHO needs another McMahon Street Fight when we could have a “loser leaves town” match? And some masked wrestlers from “parts unknown”? Anyone up for a “coal miner’s glove” slugfest? Nevermind.

In “promotional tour” news, Kurt Angle was out and about with his standard interview. He did manage to contradict the Torch Newsletter by saying the Undertaker is still the locker room leader and not just a washed up, tail between his legs because of Kronik, card-playing loser. He also is not happy with his character at the moment and foreshadows a few surprises later this year.

In “he’s not promoting anything but he is very bitter” news, It’s Road Warrior Hawk! He says he is in great shape and can’t wait to get back into the ring. Oh yeah, Vince is a prick and tried to ruin the legacy of the Road Warriors. He also compares himself to Mick Jagger, but thinks Cactus, Funk and Verne Gagne leave a lot to be desired. Animal and Paul Ellering are still alive and he thinks his webmaster is a stooge. I think that about covers it. Between him and Cactus, I just don’t have any heroes left. I sure hope the HonkyTonk Man doesn’t end up this bitter, I really liked him. Oops.

Kid Kash got a tryout with the WWF this week, as if they need another wrestler right now. In other WWF news, Tazz and Paul E. are either at each other’s throat, not fighting at all or the best of friends. I found conflicting reports of this. I will try harder next week, I promise.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THIS CRAP

RAW will be in Louisville, KY this week and on the agenda is the Vince vs. Shane “Street Fight”. Remember the last time they fought at Wrestlemania? The match ended when Shane hit a “Van Terminator”. Who inverted the Van Terminator? RVD, of course, who just happens to be front and center of all sorts of attention lately. Think the writers will put two and two together? Only one way to find out.

Smackdown will be in Cincinnati as the hype for Survivor Series will continue, no doubt.

THE LINKS ARE ON ME

It is official, ladies and gentlemen. Pat Brower has set the Internet Wrestling Community record for “Most words on a consistent basis in his teasers”. He also has a report about Jakked I think check him out.

His name is Art Martinez and he has a column entitled “The Lyrical Stunt”. I personally challenge him to rhyme something with orange or purple. And for all of you Roger Miller fans out their, “maple surple” does not count. Hicks.

Brian Cole’s latest details what is happening on the wrestling scene outside of the United States. Quit being such a xenophobe and click right here.

I can’t speak for the WWF, but I put some effort into this week’s show. Here is EXCESS

Also, don’t forget the Heat report and be sure to catch the RAW Reports. Here at 411 we have both reviews AND recaps. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Last but not least, be sure to check out our other esteem news columnists, Eric S. and Grut. One is smarter than the other but I’m not saying which one because I like both of them. Use YOUR OWN judgement and choose your own adventure.

PAGE SIX

After the fireworks last week, things really hit the skids here in The Internet Wrestling Community. The much ballyhooed SK vs. CRZ war fizzled away and Slash’s “big surprise” turned out to be none other than Justin Shapiro. You are not alone if you just said “who?”

As you all know by know, 411 has Eric S. on board with more famous people to follow. I would be remiss if I did not send you here. Tell ‘em Widro sent ya! But he ain’t beggin’ or nothin’.

So here we go again with another week of people’s thoughts, opinions and gripes. Let’s take a ride

BOARD? UM

Have you not all figured it out yet? Bob has won this site will be just as dead as the others in less then 6 months.

nevertheless, who gives a f*ck about a stupid internet columnist? you guys need to get a life and NOT devote it to the box with little pictures in it. hahaha i cant believe the hype about someone who writes articles for wrestling sites!! hahahahah dorks.

A monkey with tourett’s would be a huge improvement over most of the columnists here.

I tell ya if I wasn’t a master of Vulcan mind control techniques I would haul off like Kirk in Episode #73 “The Tale of Two Tellaraites” and whoop your asses.

You guys are uptight pussies. He writes whatever he wants and if you can’t bear him, just don’t f*cking read him! He’s as good as anyone, stop bashing him for things he says damn it. You guys react like he’s just raped your mom and your sister and ate your dog’s poop with some gravy.

the monkey starts friday!

oh boy, a new gimmick poster…let me contain my joy

WHAT swerve?

Never have I read such a literary masterpiece about porn.

Did his prescriptions run out or something?

Tell me, is being un-self-aware as blissful as I’ve heard it is?

What’s the point of all these Hyattee threads?? the man isn’t here anymore and not likely to change unless he bribes Widro with a couple of hundred grand okay??

Another good reason to avoid 411 (which is looking like the last resort for writers fired/dropped by everywhere else).

I find him better then half of the other fools that think they know what they are doing but don’t.

When they’re not out getting laid like pimps, they come here and post in character.

I have to say that I have no @#$%ing clue who you are, so I didn’t care. Now that I know… I still don’t care.

My girlfriend is on her Monthly Muta.

But no matter *what* happens, I hope YOU’LL be back here once again to share with ALL of us your snap judgment, totally unclouded by a complete lack of supporting arguments! Because THAT, my friend, is what makes this country GREAT!

Thanks for reading THE MONDAY EDITION, I’m Flea.