First thing is first. No more Mercer. Don’t write to him or I get kicked out of school. Plus, we got one half of my demands cause he apologized for insulting my brother. Someone, and I think it might’ve been one of you doing Hyatte humor to people who don’t get Hyatte humor, threatened someone with rape, not Mercer. It was someone who I had no problem with anymore. Now they’ve decided not to do my play and if I have any contact with them at all, I get kicked off campus.
So, thanks to all of the people who tried to help me in my unfortunate quest for justice. I’ve got most of your letters saved, and I won’t forget this. From now on, online quests for justice will only be waged against people online. If the person who was threatened gets to read this, I am so sorry. I did not ever mean for you to be threatened. I honestly thought the issue with you was completely resolved, and I’m sorry if someone who knew about this said such a thing to you.
Call me a pussy for pussying out, but I’d rather be a pussy then someone accused of threatening to rape someone else. The real sad thing is that I heard from a NYC publicist who said he’d be interested in coming to see my show. Mercer’s show is going on also, and he would have been forced to have seen that one as well. Too bad.
No more gay theater stuff ever again!!! From now on, only homosexual theater stuff!
News!!!
SCOTT, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE SMACKDOWN!
The Undertaker takes on Kurt Angle and Stone Cold Steve Austin in a handicapped match in the main event. I can’t wait to read the Smarkdown rant. Smark. Man, why do we feel the need to invent words to define wrestling fans who hate most wrestling?
Dudleyz defend against the APA. Test defends against Matt Hardy who is slightly heelish. Booker T faces the Rock again. Major, major shocker after a Big Show vs. Regal match. I’m not even kidding. Your mouth will drop open. Christian faces Tajiri. Oh man, Keith is going to love that main event.
Johnathan Hurtado has a great spoiler report. Go read it if you don’t give a damn.
JUNK NEWS! HUZZAH!
Rock and Austin did a duet together at the end of the UK pay-per-view as they sang London Bridge is Falling Down, with London Bridge representing the ratings.
http://www.thebigshow.com/wrestleforce1.html. Go there for a brand new promotion in North Carolina! I know, I don’t care either, but Widro seemed to think it was news.
Missy Hyatte slept with a lot of wrestlers. Remember, that’s a 411 exclusive!
Big Vito and the Wall were backstage at Smackdown! Big Vito was too busy parking the cars to sign autographs. 1wrestling.com
People like the way that DDP bumps now as compared to the way he bumped before. PWTorch.com.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer absolutely ruled this week. Man, I can’t even get into it.
Piper’s gonna be involved in Hogan’s fed. Man, I’d love to see the two of them in another cage match classic.
Junk news! Huzzah!
Come on, that was all junk news. I’ll give you two more news things to make you happy, but it’s been a slow week news wise and an insane week life wise so leave me alone
There is a huge question of who will be the person to go bankrupt on the XWF: Hulk Hogan or Walter Frank? Knobs says Hogan is the majority owner, but others say Frank invested 30 million bucks. The Pwtorch has this. Bet you that right now Hulk Hogan is thinking of a way that he can spin this into a gimmick, cause he’s an idea man now. Hacksaw Jim Duggan for heavyweight champion! Ed Leslie for main bad guy! Jimmy Hart for commissioner! Man, this thing is just going to suck so badly. Doesn’t anyone besides Vince at times look at an idea and just shake their heads and realize how badly it’s going to suck? I know I love everyone, but this is just such a bad idea.
PWTorch also reported that Konan thinks Vince is too hard on people who have ‘burnt bridges’. Well, he must walk into the fire, past the point of no return. He must walk into the fire, and let it burn! I’ve got a theory, it might be bunnies. If my heart could beat, it would burst through my chest. Look at me! I’m dancing crazy! They pulled me out of heaven. I thought I was in heaven. Does this mean that I have to be your queen? Where do we go from here? Now I gotta run, see you all IN HELLLLLLLLLLLL!
Just to show how much Konan does not matter anymore, I filled the last paragraph with lines from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
One more thing, just so I can be bitched at like Eric S. is. This week, NYC elected a mayor who said, “Kill it! Kill it!†He said this when he found out a female employee was pregnant, at least according to television commercials. Man, we’ve got good people in control. This guy is a Republican who declared himself a liberal, so I’m not making any political leanings here. I think they all suck. Hopefully this guy won’t worry about obscene art.
PLUGGY THE VAMPIRE PLUGGER
Sorry. It was such a good show.
The other Long Island Jew besides me, Daniel Benovitz, strikes back at his critics, including me, in his newest Tornado DDT. Wanna know what the top ten best entrance theme songs of all time were? Go here! I think his choices were dumb, especially for #1. Now, what was #1? That’s a good question. Could it have been .RIC FLAIR?!
That idiot who posted his personal life on the internet and paid the price for it, Joshua Grut, is back with another Wrestling Tale! I don’t know, the early ones were great, but he just doesn’t seem to be putting the same effort into it. (ed note: I said he’d never last to November )
Did someone fart? What’s that smell? Hey, don’t ask me! ASK411!
Ben Morse Test’s his Mean with Test in the new Mean. He’s still on the whole feud with me thing. Either him or Daniels. Knock it off guys. I’m not saying this as a big important net guy or anything, but as a guy who doesn’t feeling like dealing with bs right now. My people caused Mercer to basically get a restraining order against me. DON’T WRITE TO HIM, by the way. This is not some subtle hint that you should write to him. Please don’t do it.
Also, Widro let’s his new one rip. It inspired my Wrestling Tale, as Gridro came together complete and butt naked! That’s right! We stripped ourselves to the bone and exposed our souls together this week! Gridro 3:16 says: Strip Naked and Love One Another! Man on Woman! Woman on Man! Woman on Woman! Hell, I won’t get involved but go Man on Man if you get down like that!
Where did my fans all just go? Fans? Guys? I’m not gay, I’m just saying it’s all right to be gay. Personally, I think that if a person likes having sex with animals, they should knock themselves out. Whatever makes you happy. Whatever makes you feel the love down there. The Gridro love. Oh yeah, go read Widro’s article.
All right. Let’s wrap this tuna up with a tune.
SONGS BY THE GRUT
Kings don’t talk back to classroom teacher.
Gods don’t make out with the hall monitor.
So I don’t have to pander to you bitch!
You stupid Guidance Counselor YOU BITCH!
I won’t go to college for YOU BITCH!
So shove it up your ass!
Dukes don’t party with chorus teacher.
Princes don’t break bread with the PTA
So don’t you talk school spirit to me, BITCH!
You don’t have me dance for school or you BITCH!
I am great and you are just a bitch, BITCH!
So shove it up your ass!
If you want a full song, repeat the above verses 50 times. I’m tired and under suspicion of threatening to rape someone, because I had so much to gain from it. I don’t know who’s dumber, me or them. Me. Oh well. So much for my apology.
I’m Joshua Grut and I don’t think rape is funny except for that Date Rape song where the guys says the rapist was raped by his prison inmate.
