Okay, this’ll be a quickie, since I’m exhausted right now and desperately need some sleep…
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO YESTERDAY’S PIMPS?
Very simple. My ISP’s servers have been playing some fun little games lately. I couldn’t get on 411 all day Monday. In anticipation of actually getting on sometime, I had the section header readied, but couldn’t fill the data beneath. Apologies to all. Letawsky, Benovitz, Grut have new features up, and PK and Mistah Keith have their Raw views available for all to see. Our Three Wise Men of Mahaud, Flea, and Brower cover their usual beats (namely Heat, Excess, and Jakked, respectively). Grut’s in tomorrow. Give him a hug; he seems to need it.
SO WHO WAS I TALKING ABOUT YESTERDAY?
Our own Flea and TheJinxedFink came the closest when they said that I was talking about the WWF writing staff when using that quote from John Lydon. Specifically, I was talking about Steph. Comparing Steph’s thought process to a slaughterhouse was eerily appropriate when thinking about Raw Monday. Adam Gallegos had the best of the incorrect speculations, when he said that I was talking about House Majority Whip Tom DeLay of Texas and his statements about federalizing airport security. Yes, what he said was asinine, Adam. The best comment, though, was by Kurt Dieckmann, who said, “Who cares about who you’re talking about!?! The fact that you quoted the former
Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols moves you waaay up the coolness totem pole.” Damn straight.
SO WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT YESTERDAY?
John Vresilovic was wondering what I meant about me calling for a jihad against Luis Gonzales if he had hit a home run on Sunday on behalf of all Polish people and getting the people of Pittsburgh to sponsor me. Ah, the unawareness of history among the youth of today. Thanks to Gonzo only hitting a bloop single, Bill Mazeroski of the Pirates is still the only man to end a World Series Game 7 with a game-winning home run (1960, in case you didn’t know; one of the most famous homers in baseball history). In case you start hitting that Reply button, Joe Carter’s homer was in Game 6. Maz is probably the greatest defensive second baseman in the history of the game (screw Sandberg) and was unjustly kept out of the HoF for years because he didn’t have gaudy power numbers like a Joe Morgan.
SMACKDOWN, ETC.
Jonathan Hurtado was at the SD tapings last night, and he’s got some results. Hey, it’s better than me having to go to Rajah to grab them. At least Hurtado was, like, actually there. Nice work, sir. I shall forego comment for now.
FEATHERING HIS NEST
Multiple sources on the inside are telling me that the Gooney Bird’s plans are simple. He’ll be reviving Online Onslaught on a permanent basis as a no-pay site. However, until that time, he’ll be heading over to The Smarks. Let’s hope his testicles are surgically restored prior to his arrival there.
A DOSE OF REALITY
So how bad is the WWF right now? It’s so atrocious that even The Most Brain-Dead Columnist In Internet Wrestling, Tommy Fierro, is starting to realize that the writing and booking suck. Damn, when even Fierro notices, something is really, really wrong. Logic is truly lost in their cranial abbatoir. Although catch this line from him: “I can book the show a hundred times better than that, and I’m sure a lot of other people can, too. It just doesn’t make sense.” That sounds like a threat considering some of Fierro’s ideas about booking in the past. And don’t bitch about Jackie supposedly no-selling Buh Buh Ray’s clothesline. They’re trying to sell her as being Tough Enough, if you know what I mean.
Honestly, there’s nothing much being reported out there. I’m just going to throw it over to Grut right now and crash out. See you guys next week.
