Nero did a better job while Rome burned.
-BOB, last week. I love that line.
I especially liked that he picked up on my suggestion from a few days ago and used the “you made wrestling a dirty word” remarks.
-BOB, this week, when he was talking about Heyman’s promo
Man, the guy was on such a role lately, the he goes and says something like this. Har.
Hey there! I’m Flea and you are about to read the Saturday Evening Post. Unless the site goes down again, of course. Jammed packed today as we look at Survivor Series, JR, rumors and what happens when your sources suck, what an apology by a burn out sounds like and a request is filled.
Come back later for MY EXCESS report. This week will feature Good ol’ J.R. and chances are pretty good that he have just enough insider references to keep us creaming our jeans, which seems to be the latest craze for these silly WWF gooses.
Thanks to everyone who responded to the XWF report. Seems as there are still some fans out there and people looking for an alternative to Vince’s product. If you didn’t read it, please do so. After you read the Rasslin’ Roundtable, of course.
A quick note to an email I received this afternoon. No, but thanks for the offer. I’m not sure if I understand the concept, but then again I’m not all that easily influenced by other people’s opinions. Good luck and have some fun…that’s what life is all about. But please log on and click my reports, I’d hate to lose the hits!
Let’s get to it .
TOP STORY
SURVIVOR SERIES
The Tag Team of Doom and Gloom, which had been running like gangbusters all over the WWF for the last couple of months, were handed a shocking loss by the “smart†crowds favorite duo, The Worked Shoot, thanks to the verbal rantings of their manager Paul Heyman. I’m sure Doom and Gloom will be back after this brief hiatus, but we can enjoy some suspense and fun while they are gone. Anyway, thanks to Paul E, the Survivor Series PPV is now the talk of the town. Here’s what’s doin’ .
Winner Take All Match: Team WWF (Kane, Undertaker, Big Show, The Rock, Chris Jericho) vs. Team Alliance (Shane McMahon, Rob Van Dam, Stone Cold, Kurt Angle, Booker T)
This is the meat and potatoes of the show. I’m sure Vince will be involved in some fashion, expect a turn or two to happen and someone WILL get screwed. Look for this to go way over an hour, especially if individual f*cking entrances are done. With the talent involved, this has the possibility of being an instant classic.
20 Man “Immunity†Battle Royale (w/cheese)
I never liked battle royales, probably because when I was growing up ANDRE won every goddamn one of them, thereby eliminating the suspense. To this day, I usually find something better to do, especially when they stink up a PPV. And no, I don’t consider the Royal Rumble to be a battle royale. Anyway, this one does have an interesting stip: Immunity from being fired for one year! Check out this lineup
Albert, Scotty 2 Hotty ,Funaki, Billy Gunn ,Chuck Palumbo ,Raven ,The Hurricane ,Kidman ,Shawn Stasiak ,Tazz ,Steven Richards ,DDP ,Lance Storm ,Justin Credible ,Hugh Morrus ,Tommy Dreamer Chavo Guerrero Jr,Bradshaw ,Crash ,Faarooq ,Saturn ,Spike.
Everyone in the “know†sez Tazz will win. Who am I to argue?
Tajiri vs. Regal. These two will be the shit out of each other and no one will care. I’m not even 100% sure of the storyline. I like both of them and hope they get more than five minutes, but look for them to take it home early if the crowd starts going for popcorn.
Hardyz vs. Dudleyz – Tag Team Unification in the confines of an Unforgiving Steel Cage.
Look for Jeff to do something really stupid. I’m hoping this will be the blow-off match for these two, as they appear to be teasing a Hardy breakup. And I want BLOOD! In the CAGE! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!
Test vs. Edge – IC / US Title Unification Match. Remember once upon a time when a couple of potential stars tore the house down with a PPV ladder match that, for the most part, “made†them into main event level performers? No, I’m not talking E&C vs. Hardyz, I’m talking HHH vs. Rock from 1998. This could be that kind of match as the fed obviously has high hopes for both of these guys.
Six pack match for the Women’s Title featuring a mystery opponent. Hail Hail the gangs all here: Lita, Molly, Trish, Ivory, Jackie and ???. Sources say it will be Jazz, last seen on ECW PPV or in the minors. That is what sources say. What will the audience say? “Show your tits†is my guess.
And dat is dat. Unless more matches are added on Heat, which is highly possible. At any rate, get the PPV and enjoy yourself. 411 will have match by match coverage LIVE!
HEADLINES
Also, I may not be the first to mention this, but I haven’t read it anywhere else. According to the WWF calendar, the pay per view Sunday is in Greensboro, NC. The following night’s RAW will be in Charlotte, NC and then the Tuesday Smackdown is just right up the road in Fayetteville, NC. In the wrestling world, who is the most popular figure from the Carolinas? Besides Jeff Hardy .and Matt Hardy .
Well, YOU know who it is. Could it be the surprise and shocking event we have been waiting for. The MAN who with just one or two promos will shoot the ratings back up into the 5 and 6’s?
– ME! From The 11.12.01 Monday Edition
Lo’ and behold if the rumors didn’t start popping up by mid week that Ric Flair is talking turkey again with the fed, possibly making his debut on RAW. Will it happen? Of course it will. Who are my sources? Ain’t tellin’. If he doesn’t show up it’s because I just told you he would and the WWF changed their booking plans based on that.
In a related story rumors are flying that Jerry “The King†Lawler will return to the WWF as well, possibly as early as Monday. This WILL NOT happen! Who are my sources? Ain’t tellin’. But I will disclose that it’s because you were told he would and the WWF changed their booking plans based on that.
If all that sounded lame, don’t blame me blame Internet influence.
Also in the news was word that Vince held a little impromptu this week regarding changes to the WWF product and wanted to know what his staff thought of the recent direction of the WWF. Word has it that one person voiced dissention and Vince just thought that one person was sick. Then TWO people stepped up to voice their dissention, but this time in two-part harmony. Vince called them both a “couple of fagsâ€Â. Then THREE people, THREE PEOPLE stepped up and Vince realized he might have the starts of some kind of organization against him. But the final nail was when Stone Cold grabbed his gee-tar and rounded together FIFTY various members of the fed and started a movement! According to “inside sources, this is what was said/sung:
You can get anything you want
At Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want
At Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in, it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want
At Alice’s Restaurant!
La da di da da
At Alice’s .Restaurant!!!!!
Vince listened, but was not all that impressed with the Anti–WWF Massacre Movement. HE knows what he is doing and will make the changes HE wants to make. And more people will be laid off / fired. (Cepting Stone Cold). Target date is still 1-20-02 to get rid of the jobbers.
Happy Thanksgiving!
THE ROSS SAYS THIS
In his latest Ross Report, JR had the following items:
The same gang that has been inured is still injured. Add Mike Awesome to the list with a knee that is torn to shreads, but apparently he will work through the injury.
He discussed the PPV this weekend and gave Paul E. a big “thumbs up†for his promo.
The fed will have a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. Still no word on what the damn thing will be.
As mentioned above, J.R. will be on EXCESS the weekend. I will be watching, will you?
RADIO GA GA
Byte This featured Cowboy Bob Orton and Kane. Some good stuff by both guys. I will leave it up to E.C. to fill in the blanks. Look for his Byte This report later this weekend.
Also of note on the web/radio front was Kid Kash’s follow-up to his dumb ass remarks earlier in the week. For those of you you did not hear, he basically put down Rock, HHH, Austin and anyone else who is NOT him or with the initials RVD as shitty workers.
Naturally he was just misunderstood. Here is his explanation
“But what I was trying to say, that got so mixed up…The way it is now, these days guys aren’t wrestling, what they’re doing is they’re putting on a show. Doesn’t mean they can’t wrestle, I have the utmost respect for the WWF workers. Especially the Hardy Boyz, Stone Cold, HHH, Kurt Angle. He’s a hell of an athlete and he’s one of the people I’m more impressed with. He came into the world of wrestling being a Greco-Roman , Olympic wrestler but now he’s an entertainer and a wrestler. He can hang with probably anybody there.
“But what I was trying to say, pound for pound, Rob Van Dam–yeah, he’s a good friend of mine, we’ve been really great friends for many, many years. But the thing about is, he’s a natural athlete. And it took him a long time to get there, but who do you know that has as much athleticism as Rob has? What I was trying to say, would you see HHH or Stone Cold do the things that he (RVD) does?
“Me coming up in the business with Rob Van Dam, he’s not only a very good friend of mine but he also taught me a lot of things in this wrestling business. It doesn’t mean that those guys can’t work. All I’m saying, in my personal opinion and a lot of opinions of fans around the world, is that Rob Van Dam is pound for pound one of the best workers in the world. Okay, doesn’t mean that anyone else can’t work. Just means, in my opinion, they can’t do what he does.
“Times have changed. I came up in the business back in 1990 with Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. And you know what, one thing I love about those guys, they never put me down because they knew that times had changed. They knew that people my size, Rob’s size…we’re not as big as Hulk Hogan. We’re not as big as HHH. We’re not as big as Stone Cold. We’re littler, smaller guys. So we have to go out there and we have to jump off those ropes, we have to do athletic moves, we have to do these shoot holds and stuff like that.
“You know, these guys are in the entertainment field so they’re going up there doing catchphrases and putting their gimmick off more than their wrestling–which is fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. If it’s working for them, keep on doing it. All I’m saying is that pound for pound, wrestling hold for wrestling hold, in this day and time, I think personally in my opinion–and it’s not bashing anyone, is that Rob Van Dam, is probably the most athletic athlete that I have ever seen.
“The reason I’m doing this again, is to just let everyone know, I’m not bashing anybody. Personally, I’ve met HHH before and he was a very nice person to me. I don’t know him very well, but he was very nice to me. I met Stone Cold and he was a very nice person. Everybody I have met in the wrestling business have always been very nice to me, so I’m not saying anything bad about anyone.
See what dope does to the brains, kids. Turns what should be a simple ” Hey man, I shouldn’t have said that shit†into a rambling story that goes nowhere with run on sentences and repeating of phrases over and over and repeating phrases over and over and then like this guy is going to get a job with the fed after putting down the top workers and like he can do anything other than high spots that hardly hit half the time anyway so he might as well smoke another joint and enjoy the xwf cause ain’t no way in hell that he’s working for vince now, yo.
Speaking of the XWF, Hogan apparently didn’t charge these guys a dime for his performances. See, folks, the Hulkster is not that bad a guy. I still say my prayers and eat my vitamins every night, don’t you? Punks.
ROLL THE DICE
Apparently Mick Foley is pretty much history as far as Vince and the WWF is concerned. Foley’s been crying the blues lately about how he has been used or not being used at all. You guys should know my feelings on this if you have been reading. Good riddance and good luck making the best seller list without the fed’s help. Say hello to Chyna. And no I won’t miss him playing Connect Four and making Regal laugh. Flair will be a welcome change. If it all ends up being an angle, whoop-de-f*cking-do. Foley (by his own admission) is washed up in the ring, so what would be the payoff? Goodbye.
Also, Nash and Hall are still doing the dance with the WWF. Like not wanting to work a ton of house shows is going to prevent Vince from hiring them. See ya soon, guys!
IN OTHER WORDS
Now available on 411
Shellie Lepere has a cool interview with Steve Corino out there, so go here.
Scott Keith gets all Retro on your candy asses with a Clash Rant. That would be located right about here.
Brian Cole’s got some International Flavor for you. Click right here.
Read EXCESS when it’s posted, thankya verymuch.
And don’t forget the Rasslin Roundtable, where you get the opinions and predictions of the esteemed staff here at 411. And Art Martinez.
PAGE SIX
That about sums it up. It’s strange how just one little promo from a lunatic can get everyone’s blood flowing again. Enjoy the PPV and relax, it’s only “rasslinâ€Â.
By request (HELLO!) and because he has flipped his f*cking wig again
SIX DEGREES OF RYDER FAKIN
As the economy has slowed down, many people are wondering what is in store for the country as not only are we currently at war but massive layoffs have affected nearly every sector of the country and every type of business.
Included in this is the WWF, where, as reported, the first round of layoffs has begun in an effort to cut costs and increase profit margins.
The fed hopes to turn things around as the busy part of their season starts to unfold: A couple of high profile pay per views, the Christmas holiday shopping season and eventually Wrestlemania.
We as fans hope that by Wrestlemania, the WWF can “right its ship†and have worthwhile story lines as well as the “right people†being pushed.
But we also have to remember the old saying, that “Rome was not built in a dayâ€Â
And ignore people using the flip side of that analogy, the one where Rome’s leader played his fiddle while the country burned.
People like .
BOB
This has been Saturday Evening Post and I’m Flea.
