All right, I’ve been working on the computer all day so let’s make this fun and fast. Happy Turkey Day in advance. In fact, I’m in such a rush I’ll start off with a copy and paste from a few months ago.
News!!!
FORMER WCW CHAMPION IN NEGOTIONS TO BUY WWF STOCK
In an interesting bit of news, a former WCW champion with a ‘FLAIR’ for the dramatic may be interested in buying the stock Shane and Stephanie plan to sell off as part of their commitment to WCW. While nothing has been finalized, it looks like you may have to ask the ‘RICK’ to find out more about this one. Could we see a more ‘NATURAL’ WWF? Only time will tell. ‘WOOO!’
SMACKDOWN CRAP
Ric and Vince, Trish and Stacey, Test and Scotty, Austin and the remnants of the Alliance, Paisley and Tazz, Tazz and The Big Show, Taker and Angle, E and C, and CJDZ v. RRVD. Should be a fun show. Thanks to rajah and all that. The boy is so fast he already has next week’s spoilers up.
JUNK NEWS! HUZZAH!
The WWF reported today during their media conference call that SummerSlam PPV total buys were 527,000, the September PPV drew 327,000 buys, and the October PPV drew 305,000 buys. At this pace, 6 people will buy the Royal Rumble. 3 people will buy Wrestlemania. 1 person will buy next years Survivor Series. That one person? SCOTT KEITH! www.Pwtorch.com
I can’t make heads or tails out of this press release about the WWF’s earnings. They suck!
The Charlotte Observer wrote an article about Ric Flair. They said that he was God and would cure the poor and give sight to those in poverty.
Umm, Flea gave me his phone number but I lost it. He also invited me to his house for Thanksgiving and told me he wanted to get me drunk. Umm, he’s married and all, but draw your own conclusions.
JUNK NEWS! Huzzah!
411 PERSONALITY WEEKLY PARODY AND
AH! ME SO HARDCORE! ME HARDER THEN HARDCORE! NO SUMO! HARDCORE!
Read the above line like Bugs Bunny pretending to be a Japanese person and it’s only slightly funny. Here with a report on the Japanese Hardcore Wrestling Commercial is Scott Keith.
– Hey, I was introduced by Grut. I guess his substandard mind stopped coming up with jokes about me long enough to give me a nice little introduction into the world of wrestling news. And by wrestling news, I mean WWF news, since WCW is now rotting away in Vince’s back pocket. Actually, Vince uses it to wipe his butt after he goes to the bathroom, eh? BONZO GONZO! DUD!
– Sorry. Anyway, Japanese Hardcore Wrestling will have commercials on the November 26th Raw in a whole lot of American markets. God I am so lonely. Sorry. Buy my book, heh heh, just kidding. I don’t want to look like Mick Foley or anything. Cheap pop! Seriously though, buy my book. Since wrestleline shut down I’ve been sustaining myself on a paste made of cat litter and peanut butter. I call it peacat blutter. *****! BONZO GONZO! AGH!
– I’m sorry. I think I’m going insane in here. It says in the press release that Japanese male and female wrestlers must battle against each other, fire, barbwire, tables, ladders and chairs as they quest for victory and glory. AND PEACAT BLUTTER! BONZO GONZO! MUMMMRA! SOMEBODY TALK TO ME! ANYBODY! BUY MY BOOK! I NEED REAL FOOD! ****! BONZO DUD! BONZDUOGONDU*BS
Thank you Scott Keith.
Is that it? Yeah, that’s it.
PLUGS!
No clever title this week. I’m sure you’re all very upset.
Joshua Grut teaches us all a very valuable lesson with this week’sA WRESTLING TALE where he shows us how the WWF could screw up the Ric Flair angle. Call it stupid, call it gross, the one thing you cannot disagree with is that this would definitely screw up the angle.
Widro talks about Flair, as does Benovitz where on the one week that RIC FLAIR! should be #1 on his list, he don’t have one. Check out the Tornado and the Voice Of Reason.
Scott Keith checks in with his Raw Rant. Help him. The man obviously needs to eat.
Gamble wrote something somewhere. It was good. I love him. I’d make him my life partner if I was gay.
Hyatte’s BACK!!!! is sore and he’s getting someone to rub it for him as he enjoys his retirement/death.
CRZ HAS COME TO 411 probably at one point or another to check out the site.
OOGA BOOGA!
Yeah, that’s it. I’m tired. I’ll give you a big one tomorrow for Turkey Day. A little Pilgrim Love Doctor. Send in more Love Doctor questions.
OH! I almost forgot. You guys rule all. Debbie loved the e-mails mostly. Thanks. I knew I could count on you guys.
WHO SUCKS?
What a good question! To answer this question, I recently sent several IM’s to people on my buddy list who can take a joke, and others who wrote me recently. Let’s see if they suck!
VPJG: Do you suck?
Als27thFan: I don’t believe I do
VPJG: Do you suck?
Flamediva: ummm, it depends:)
VPJG: Do you suck?
Bzzkill20: no
VPJG: Do you suck?
NTNchamp2: do i?
NTNchamp2: no
That’s enough. I’ll give you a better one tomorrow. Later.
