A Wrestling News Report 11.23.01


Happy Thanksgiving and all. Gobble gobble and what not. Great response to my column from those who loved it and those who hated it. Only one complete and total jack off thought it was anti-Semitic. What an idiot. Yeah, I’m a Nazi, one of the few Jewish Nazi’s in the world. Hey, Mel Brooks makes all kinds of jokes about Jews! He must be anti-Semitic also! What an asshole. Yeah, you Tenacious G. What a dick name also. You’re a tenacious idiot. You don’t deserve to have a name imitating the name of the greatest band in the free world.

You guys can call my work stupid, immature, badly written, I could give a crap. Call me an anti-Semite and I get pissed off. Really, what a dick. I hope this guy gets on the PC train and it crashes into a mountain. What a shithead. Wow. You piece of filth. You piece of garbage.

We got the love doctor on board today!



Got this from Luke Damron.

I’m sorry to add to your no doubt overflowing mailbox, but I just had to share this with someone and you seemed unlikely to treat me like an idiot. I am studying in Japan this semester and while watching TV the other day I happened to see the episode of WCW Nitro with David Flair’s wedding and Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s retirement. I have seen a lot of strange things on TV here, mostly involving eating contests, but one thing I never expected to see was a Vince Russo-scripted edition of Nitro. What the hell?

Well Luke, that’s a good question. In Japan, unlike America, they eat dog and play golf for over a thousand bucks a round or something like that. Of course they still love Nitro. Thanks for sending in the question.

We’re just going to d o a bunch of junk news and be done with it. Nobody to plug today.


Bryan Adams’ contract was bought out after being demoted to the NWA. He was last seen giving the Undertaker the puppy dog eyes. The Undertaker had to look away before he started to cry. He couldn’t help his friend anymore. The Undertaker turned and walked away as Bryan whimpered softly. 1wrestling.com

1wrestling also reported that Jimmy Hart helped Jerry Lawler get back to the WWF without a problem from the XFL, I mean XWF. Jerry was so moved by this that he wrote on his website that sometimes at night he reaches over for Jimmy Hart, only to find that he’s not there. He then begins to cry for his lost love.

Should I care more or be trying harder? Nah. This is a vacation week. I deserve a break.

Oh, NBC will replay the Weakest Link with the WWF again. HUNTER NEVER JOBS! That’s it. Wanna read the Love Doctor? Go ahead. If not, see you next week.


Don’t forget to send in your questions for next week.

Dear love Doctor,

This is kinda complicated… In July, when i was getting my hair done at a friends house, a girl who we will call kerry, began to “put it on me”… now before her lips even touched my stuff, she told me that she had a boyfriend who she had been with for 5 years, and that i couldnt tell anyone about us….. now…. over the course of the next month we were chillin, messin around every nite.. I started really likeing this chick.. mind u, she has a boyfriend who, doesnt take her anywhere, and does nothing but argue, and bitch all the time… now, he is like hella rich.. he bought her a 1999 mustang, 2yrs ago in which, she got impounded earlier this year for driving on a suspended license… now…. one of the girls that live in the house really liked me, but she was busted so i showed her no love.. so she hated…. she ran and told Kerrys boyfriend that me and her were f*cking……. in which kerry denied then, and still denies to this day…..Kerry and the chick get into a fight, and kerry is stuck without a place to stay…. she moves in with her play sister on september 10th, and has been living on her couch ever since……2 weeks ago.. We got into it, and i told her, she is gonna have to make a decesion…. him or me….. because she is constantly riding my pole.. but at the same time, cryin and arguin on the phone every day with her boyfriend…. I told her that she needs to make a decision…. she tells me that she doesnt have a decesion to make because i cant get her out of that situation.. she is latching on to the hope that he will get her out of this situation.. when over the last 2 months she has been livin on the couch, and since may has been without a car……… . but i dont have the hundreds of thousands that her dude has…. so i played the fool and fell in love with her, as did she fall in love with me………….. now… I dont know what I should do.. help me oh great love doctor.. Should i leave her alone, or should i continue on… (she is a DIME… fat ass, nice tits, Long pretty black hair, and she has that platinum Pussy, and gives the best Head i have ever gotten) i guess i should throw that in too……..

Well Sexed YET very confused in LA….

Good question Well Sexed!

Before you do any thing involving this girl, learn grammar. I know we all make mistakes every now and then, but that was almost illegible.

Once you’ve learned grammar, in a bit of serious advice, go out and find yourself a not so crazy girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend. You’ll feel better. If this girl still wants to give you head, then enjoy. Otherwise, let her go. If her tears fall down like rain, let her cry. If it eases all her pain let her go. Let her walk right out on me. And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let it be. OOOH LET HER CRY! IF HER TEARS FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN! I LOVE YOU HOOTIE! HOLD MY HAND! I WANT YOU TO HOLD MY HAND!

Hope I helped Well Sexed.


It’s Ken Anderson from the 411. I’ve got a situation that is just STUMPING me dude. Maybe the good doc could give me some advice. Alright, we’ve got two girls, Girl A and Girl B. They grew up together, live together, and have been best friends since age 7. I met them about three months ago through one of my good friends Seda, who also lives with Girl A and Girl B in the dorms. The three girls have been spending alot of time over at my place lately, just to get off campus. Anyway, I’ve completely fallen for Girl A in the last two months. We spend alot of time together, the chemistry is there, and we just really hit it off well in general. What’s the problem you ask ? Well, apparantly Girl B has developed feelings for me for whatever ungodly reason. So to recap, Girl B has feelings for me, I have feelings for her best friend (and roomate) Girl A, and I’ve kinda hit a brick wall. The other day, we were all watching a movie. Girl B went downstairs to borrow her friends lab book, and when she left Girl A put her head on my shoulder and we started cuddling. The SECOND Girl B came back in, Girl A jumped off of me and sprung to the other side of the couch. Everyone I’ve told to tells me that this situation is HOPELESS, so I figured I’d go to my last resort….. Josh G. Girl A is obviously wary of destroying her friendship and/or hurting Girl B, but come on, I need this to work out. I usually have a tough time liking girls enough to actually “date” them, but this girl is just such a sweetheart. Any advice Josh ? Thanks bud.

-Ken Anderson

This is a question I kinda have to take seriously since it’s a coworker, Ken Anderson, or as I like to call him KA. I think that Girl A and Girl B both like KA but Girl B has developed some kind of obscene fascination with KA. KA wants to get with Girl A not Girl B or as I’ll call them GA and GB from this point forward. GA and KA were flirting while GB went somewhere else but while GA and KA were about to form GKA GB returned and KA and GA separated when GA broke away from KA.

KGAB would not make KA happy. GKA would disappoint GB. And while in a perfect world KGGAB would be perfect, it appears as though the G’s are not into that. So, what can KA do to get the GKA outcome he desires without breaking up the platonic GGAB?

KA, you’ve got to wait a couple of weeks. During these next few weeks you’ve got to form the platonic relationship of KGGAB. Once that relationship is solid, you can rest assured that GB will attempt to form KGAB on a strictly non platonic level. You can turn her down and tell her about your feelings for GA. GB will be disappointed but will understand. You can form GKA very easily after that.

Or, screw it. Life is too short. You like Girl A? Forget what your friends say, forget how tacky it is. Take her aside and tell her you like her and screw the consequences. Go for it!

Hope I helped KA.

This is Grut handing it over to Flea. Gobble gobble.