Hey there! It’s me, Flea and you have stumbled upon some weekend fun courtesy of Saturday Evening Post. Tons of goodies today as we get all psyched up for the PPV tomorrow night. Just for fun, I’m getting the WWF webcast as well, so I’ll let you know how it turns out. Yes, cable modems do indeed RULE! I pity the fool with dial up connections. Also, the webcast is the same price as the Japanese PPV I got last week, so how can I go wrong? Unless Missy Hyatt is involved, which I strongly doubt. Yuck.
Message to Grut: It’s great to see you actually APPLY yourself every once in a while. Great job.
Let’s get to it .
TOP STORY
No brainer here. It’s VENGEANCE live from San Diego, California. The Fed really stepped on their dick here promoting this show, preferring to spend the last two weeks featuring Vince’s ass instead of really, really drilling into people’s heads how much of a milestone in Wrestling (Sports Entertainment) this is. Think about it. One Undisputed Champion. At least for one night. If I think back to all the times growing up wanting Flair to go at it with Hogan, Savage vs, Sting or even for a more modern perspective, Goldberg and Austin or Taz (when he was a badass and would shoot all over the other champeens) vs. well, whoever he was bitching at (you name em he buried them), this is not exactly what I envisioned and quite frankly makes my head hurt just thinking about it. Screwing up the Invasion was one thing but Unification practically sells itself. Which it has had to, seeing as no “big – ass buildup†has been done. Unless you are counting..ah nevermind, cheap joke.
Don’t think I’m bitter or anything, cause this looks like a phenomenal show and something that match-wise should rock the f*cking house. Check it out
World Wrestling Federation Championship – Stone Cold vs. Kurt Angle
Austin is back on top of the world and Angle is currently playing the part of Vince’s lackey, but this time solo. As well it should be. I liked Austin as a heel but things just seem right with the world when people are cheering him. Angle, on the other hand is very easy to dislike. What does all this mean? A great match from two of the top in the game. Nefarious deeds will abound from the Angle camp as Vince will most likely put in his two cents. It ain’t gonna work because you HAVE to put Austin in the final match. No if ands or buts about it.
World Championship – The Rock vs. Some Other Guy
Well, these guys hate each other. Some Other Guy has just turned full blown heel and should get a negative reaction from the crowd just by being Rock – E’s opponent. A big deal has been made about Some Other Guy doing the j.o.b all week, saying the jobs were Guy’s way of “earning†the win here tonight. I’ll go along with that just because it’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all week and I’m in a good mood. It’s a travesty of justice that Some Other Guy is even involved here when the spot in this match should go to HHH.
Ah yes, the wild card HHH. Yep, he’s gonna return. But on which side? Common logic here sez HHH comes back as a heel and costs Austin the Unified glory. This would segue nicely into H vs. Austin, culminating at Wrestlemania. Whether that happens or not remains to be seen. Only problem is that means Some Other Guy would be the Unified Champion and the thought of that makes me sick. Oh well .Vince owns everything and it’s not like this really means anything anymore.
It’s too bad that we can’t gamble on this shit. If I was a betting man (which I am) and if odds were available and bets were allowed to be placed (which they aren’t cause it’s FAKE – try calling your local bookie and try to place a bet on a RAW match. The sound you hear is pasta coming out a man’s nose from the laughter), I could have a field day with this. Bummer. At any rate,I’ll put some odds on this, just for shits and giggles:
- Austin: 3-1.
- Rock: 4-1
- Angle: 12-1
- Some Other Guy (the one in the match, not a run in): 6-5
- Vince getting involved: 2-1
- HHH showing up: 1-2 (before you write, that’s better than even money, kids)
No matter what happens, all of these matches should be top-notch affairs which, as a wrestling fan, works just fine for me. I’m rooting for Austin because that’s just the way it should be.
Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam
This should be fun. Undertaker always looks good when he’s got someone flying around for him. RVD’s style is fun as hell to watch and I hope these guys get about 20 minutes. Look for RVD to do the job on PPV just because that’s the UT’s new gimmick: Respect = jobbing. Didn’t you read the Torch this week? Or Scherer? For shame.
Tag Team Championship The Dudleyz vs. Big Show and Kane
This one will be a “go make some more wings†match. I wish they would take the reigns of the Duds and just let them be mass murderers again. I watched their “Best of ECW†DVD this week and goddamn were they evil. As far as Big Show and Kane, they should put up a good fight but I don’t see any reason for them to win. Match should be decent enough, with some table violence and Stacey’s legs as the main attraction.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy with Special guest Lita!
I’m hearing that Matt and Jeff will turn on Lita and become gay lovers, incest style with Mike Sanders as their manager “The Colonel†(“Finger – lickin good are MY boyz!â€Â) Smell the RATINGS! Of course my sources could be wrong. Look for Jeff to do something really f*cking stupid (as per his contract) but somehow pull out the win. I think it would be perfect to turn LITA heel and have her f*ck Jeff up with a chair or ladder or something, but that may or may not happen.
Intercontinental Championship – Edge vs. William Regal
Ugh. I like ‘em both but do not have high hopes for this match. How much longer can Regal stink up PPV and TV with shitty 3-4 minute matches and still be called one of the top workers in the world? We might just find out as Regal should will get his payback for kissing ass and take the gold from Edge. Hopefully this one will get time as even if the crowd falls asleep, proper positioning on the card betwix an Austin match and a Rock – E match should keep this from killing the show.
Women’s Championship – Trish vs. Jackie
No gimmick? Why do they train us for this stuff and then go and give us a regular match? Oh well. I’m on Trish’s side just cause she hosts EXCESS and that is my favorite show. So there.
Other matches may or may not be made / take place on Heat. Only one way to find out. Watch!
This should be a damn good show and finish the year out quite nicely. Remember, we have a big shakeup coming in January and be on the lookout tomorrow for a dude with big muscles and a huge nose. His face ain’t on the posters for nothing, folks.
HEADLINES
The Fed is a popular as ever over in Merry Ol England. Seems as the May PPV titled “Insurrextion†sold out quicker than a King Kong Bundy squash of SD Jones. Seems like someone still likes the WWF. They must not have the Internet or “smarts†over there. Nah, that can’t be it. I think it may be depravation of over saturation in relation to appearances by the Fed. Yeah, much better.
None of the “in crowd†on the net can seem to make up their minds or get their stories straight on the XWF. Hogan, Sting, Steiner are in, no WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! NO they are NOT! That’s a lie! But MY sources say that, well I’m just not going to tell you. I did talk to Hennig and Hogan when the XWF was here, so maybe I DO know something. When it happens, I’ll be the first to tell you. Fair Enough?
THE ROSS SAYS THIS
In the latest Ross Report, JR was kind enough to let us know that Edge, Test, Regal, X-Pac, Stasiak, and WHY IS ALL TYHIS SHIT FLYING ACROSS MY SCREEN! I have jet skis, movie trailers and a whole lotta other shit getting in the way here. I have a pop up killer (sorry all you folks trying to make a dime) but it doesn’t seem to help with these ads. Any suggestions?
Anyway, the same bunch of folks are injured but are on the road to a speedy recovery. JR says the most distressing is DDP’s injury – he chipped a tooth BY GAWD! You know, JR’s a funny guy when he busts balls. It helps that these guys and gals have no chance at verbal payback on him, lest they want to end up with pink slips. Ha ha BY GAWD HA!
Speaking of ball busting, JR also touches on the talent recently released by the Fed. In no uncertain terms, he says if any of these fired f*cks goes around and badmouths or “shoots†on the WWF, they are history in this business as far as the Fed is concerned. Of course, I did have to read between the lines a little bit, but I’m pretty sure that’s what Go ‘Ol was saying.
The Rock will be everywhere soon as promotion will start for “The Scorpion Kingâ€Â. Also getting a ton of press is HHH, who will be in muscle mags as well as on MAD TV which yes, just does happen to be on at the same time as EXCESS. Guess which one I’ll be watching? Please read my report for EXCESS by the way, it will be up Sunday by noon. Someone somewhere else will have a recap of HHH on that shitty show, I’m sure of it. What Me Worry?
For some reason Ebony magazine is claiming that Booker T is a sexy eligible bachelor. I’m not saying the guy ain’t good looking, but I thought he was married? Remember when he won the WCW title and his wife came to the ring? Then got beatdown by Steiner? Are they now divorced? Why didn’t we here about this from the “inside sourcesâ€Â? I think Russo might have swerved us, but I can’t be sure. I’ll go back and watch all my tapes to see if I can see a “tan line†from where Book’s wedding band should be. Come to think of it, that probably is not going to work. Either way, CONGRATS BOOKER!
JR also says that Vengeance will be the show of the year. Pretty ballsy if you ask me. Especially when all the promotion for the show has been lived vicariously through the owner’s ass. ORDER THE PPV ANYWAY sez the Ross.
RADIO GA GA
Many of today’s wrestlers choose to express their opinions and gripes on various radio programs, be it the standard AM/FM stations or the up and coming Internet talk shows. Here is a run down on who said what
Over on the WWF’s Byte This, The Nature Boy himself was the guest, ducking no questions that were thrown at him. E.C. will have his Byte This recap will all the juicy details for you up soon. Hey E.C.! While I’m thinking of it, can you put in a good word for me with you know who over you know where? I hope I’m not being EXCESSive, but see if you can hook me up (wink, wink).
Lilian Garcia got manhandled by Chauncey Hayden for Steppin Out magazine. She expounded on the singing of the National Anthem, what it’s like to have four octaves but no implants (cause she don’t need em) and the fact you jerkoffs are shit out of luck if you hope to see her in Playboy; she ain’t that kind of girl. Eh, she’s cute but weird looking. The camera has to be angled on her just the right way or she looks horse-faceish. Just my own damned opinion. (Are you picking up on these hints E.C?)
And just to let you know, BOB scored a coup when Randy Savage allowed BOB to have an EXCLUSIVE on the Macho Man’s latest BIG TIME SPECTACULAR announcement. It’s odd, because I looked all over the place to see if ANYONE was talking about this and the answer is no. I agree, who cares? He’s probably gonna let us know he’s going to be at a bowl game promoting Slim Jim’s or something.
ROLL THE DICE
Also reported was an upcoming episode of “Fear Factor†will feature WWF stars such as Matt Hardy, Test, Lita , Molly Holly and Jackie. Oh, and Jeff Hardy. If I was the other guys/gals I wouldn’t even bother trying to compete with Jeff is shit like this on account that he’s obviously an idiot. Hey, at least his antics will draw at least a 10.0 rating this time!
IN OTHER WORDS
Now available on 411
Scott Keith has his SmarkDown Report available. Keep him happy and give him some hits.
The non-Internet experiment is wrapping up. Check out Ron Gamble and his Merry Band of Marks while it lasts.
Where the hell is the Rasslin Roundtable? Hopefully the little conflict between Eric and PK did not kill this thing dead. I haven’t seen or heard if it’s even going on. If it is, check it out.
Come back tomorrow around noon for my EXCESS Report. You will need it because I have a sneaking suspicion many of you just may skip the show in lieu of MAD TV with the Game. Good thing you have ME, is all I can say.
PAGE SIX
And dat is dat. Enjoy the PPV tomorrow and don’t forget that 411 will have real time coverage available courtesy of Widro, I believe. Pop back after the show or whenever for the Monday Edition.
This has been Saturday Evening Post and I’m Flea.
