A Wrestling News Report 12.14.01


Remember that thing about a basketball jamming my finger? I am overworked. Let’s save it for next week.


WWF TO TOUR ASIA. Asya still not being considered for employment

It appears that the WWF is working on putting together a tour of Asia next year. As reported earlier, there is talk of a March 1st show in Japan at the Yokohama Arena. Also being talked about is a March 3rd show in Singapore and a March 4th show in Malaysia. However, there has not been any talk of a show in Seoul or Indonesia. There has been talk of a show in Hawaii and a show in Vietnam. There is not even a discussion of a show in Antarctica. There is talk of another European tour, avoiding Sweden and Italy while hitting London and Russia but not the bad parts of Russia. Credit to all.


TAZZ WINS A MATCH! TAZZ WINS A MATCH! I like to see Torrie. She has a pretty smile. Vince, I’m trying to be the good guy with the defending you and all, but why did you have to appear during the Hurricane bit? You shouldn’t be on television all the time. Also, shut your face about firemen. Really, it’s not the time for it. Remember the first Kurt Angle title reign? He needed help to win all of his matches and looked absolutely ridiculous after awhile and made the belt mean next to nothing? Jericho can’t be the one to be pinned in these tag team matches. He needs some kind of credibility. Why is Hugh Morris doing promos about the tooth fairy for UPN? Why is Matt the heel and Jeff the face? Switch it and make Jeff the heel who reads his own poetry. Make Lita drool all over him. It’s so simple, just have Jeff and Lita handcuff Matt in the ring and make out really disgustingly in front of him. Nice stupid skit in the supermarket. Hey! Booker T can finally get a loan now that Austin dumped that flour on him. Austin was really exhausted by the time it was done. The bill and lawsuit really taught Vince a lesson about asking before sending two wrestlers and a camera crew to destroy a supermarket. I love the Undertaker’s new hair cut and attitude. He sells now. Happy Keith? ARE YOU HAPPY? Oh, he is. Nice final match.


If you live in Cleveland, you will be able to see Smackdown on Sunday. Also, you probably cry yourself to sleep every night.

Lance Storm does not like Diana Hart’s new book, Beneath the Mat. The reason he hated it so much? HE CAN’T READ!

Triple H should be back by January. The latest on his return is that he’ll be brought in to feud with William Regal for the next 8 years that will culminate at No Way Out 2009 in a BRASS KNUCKLES MATCH! Scott Keith will give it 3 ½ stars.

Slow news day. That’s it. Let’s do some plugs and memories.


The Joker’s Spot, along with The Lyrical Stunt the most creative column on 411, is back with a look at a certain QT film. It’s a fun read. I get to be Mr. Black.


Read I Killed Owen Hart, and remember, it’s not me. It’s a character.

Also, read Widro’s latest.

Now read the Tornado DDT if there’s a new one. If not, read the old one.

Also, read the last edition of Hanging Gardens.

Also, read that thing that Widro loves. No, not the thing he wrote. The columnist he enjoys the most. Read the column that Widro loves the most right here.

I just want to see which links Widro will actually put up.



One of my favorite moments of Owen was him doing commentary at the King of the Ring in 1996. All his comments during the card were funny but i found it especially hysterical when he stood up at his seat(fake cast, slammy, and all) proclaming “we love you Bulldog, we love you Diana.”


I remember way back in the late 80’s when the Blue Blazer first made his mark. I thought he was the coolest wrestler there was. I used to try to do his moves on my older brother, but failed miserably. I used to read PWI as a kid, and in the readers questions section, someone asked about the Blazer. It said that Owen Hart, that younger brother of Bret, was the Blazer, and I was astonished. The very next day while wrestling at school, I was Owen Hart, instead of the Blue Blazer, and all the kids asked who Owen Hart is. I went on to tell them that he is the best wrestler ever, and I’m going to grow up to be just like him. I also told them, like it was common knowledge, that he plays the Blue Blazer and that everyone knows that. I thought I was so cool for knowing what the others didn’t, and played it off like they all should know. I was only fortunate enough to see the Blazer once at a live event, and he entertained like no other. He had something as a mid-carder, that many main-eventers strive to have, and I can’t quite explain it, but it’s some sort of natural charisma and ability where nothing he did looked awkward. We all really miss that in the Fed, and we really need it again, too. RIP Owen

Eric Bright


Plain & Simple, Owen running around with his “Owen 3:16, I Just Broke Your Neck” Tee-shirt ruled!


Doctor Grut:

I remember, back in December of 1997, I was questioning my fandom of the World Wrestling Federation. They had just betrayed my all time favorite a month earlier, and sent him packing to WCW.

Now, they were putting on the DeGeneration X pay per view, with the five star classic that WAS… Triple H and Sgt. Slaughter.

ANYways, it was also on this night, that Shawn Michaels and Ken Shamrock went at it, and though Shammy failed to avenge the Hitman, what followed next restored not only my love of the WWF, but my love of wrestling as a whole.

There was Michaels, standing on the ring apron, gloating over keeping his title, when out of NOWHERE comes some dude in a flannel top. He BOLTS across the ring, and DRILLS HBGay (CLEVER!), sending him FLYING into the table or something. Then it hit me…


Owen proceeded to kick the everloving crap out of Shawn Michaels, in a moment so glorious, I nearly welled with tears of joy.

God Bless Owen Hart, he really made my day

D’No Brown (w/ Head Wobble)

We all miss Owen Hart. My personal favorite moment was when Ken Shamrock unmasked Jeff Jarret and Owen Hart covered up Jeff’s face with his hands. He then walked up the ramp saying, “Who was that masked man? Who was he?” It was so ridiculous it cracked me up big time.

Don’t worry. Right now Martha and Owen are together in Heaven, and they are watching down on us all because Heaven is really damn boring and they don’t have cable.